Shortly after her father had landed a demanding and stressful business job, Pinkie Pie has not attended Canterlot High for almost an entire week. She hasn't kept in contact with her friends and she insisted that she was fine. However, when Rainbow Dash tries to find out what has been causing the usually-bubbly girl to skip school, something that she would never do, she finds out a horrifying truth that both shocks her and terrifies her.
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Featured - 25 / 01 / 2019
26 / 01 / 2019
Chapters (1)
This reminds me of a much older story called 'Tainted Colors'. This was an equally convincing and compelling (and tragic) look at domestic abuse and bullying.
Have a fave and a follow.
9421577
Yeah, I remember that story! I can remember the first time that I read that story and how well the characters were written. It was quite a moving, heartbreaking story to a certain extent, and, now that I think about it, some of the inspiration for this story came from that story.
Also, thanks for the fave and follow! Glad you liked it!
💛
Why did ya write this?
9421633
In all honesty, I was inspired by the picture that is now used as the cover art. Whenever I see a picture, I can always think of a story to go with it, and this was the result. Some of the inspiration for what the story involves is from another domestic abuse story called Tainted Colors. The funny thing is that I wasn't even going to make it an abuse story, it just kinda happened, but it worked out fine, I guess. That's really it, I'm afraid.
This is just SOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!!
9421596
It was very sad, but important to read.
9421652
i think that kind of response is a bit too enthusiastic for a story about child abuse
9421635
Ok
I enjoyed this and I really like how you used Pinkie and Dash in this.
Hm
I have no words. This was so amazing...it filled my Pinkie and Dash needs, but I didn’t seem to focus on my OTP. The story was beautiful and honestly I was on the edge of my seat during that entire intense scene. The ending and descriptions were perfect.
(Also, like other comments stated, it reminded me of “Tainted Colors” a lot, which is also one of my favorite stories on this site)
11/10 for me
9421633
That is a reasonable question. The character of Pinkies family are not how they are normally shown in the show but I purpose another question Why not write something like this.
We have always known that pinkie has a dark side to her and this story takes that and tries a different take on why that might be, with some beautiful imagery.
This story shows pasion, love, and horror. It is there to how us that sometimes bad thing can and sadly do happen, but with the help of others things can be done to change it. Stories are made to show us anothers perspective so we may learn and grow.
Fantastic story, and your concerns in the A/N at the top are essentially unfounded, I believe. Definitely going into my library.
Though, why do domestic abuse stories always - always - put the father/husband in the 'abuser' role? The mother/wife can also be the abuser; they're not always the victim, but both in the news and in fanfiction, only the father can be the abuser.
Just something I've noticed throughout the years, and that bugs the hell out of me; it's like media wants people to believe they need to be far more cautious around men, as if they need to expect wanton cruelty out of them, while treating women as perpetually innocent and harmless beings. In other terms, misandry seems to be accepted while misogyny is not - when both should be banned. Ugh; horrible.
Anyways...other than that little bugbear, I really do like the story; well-paced with accurate characterisation and emotional impact. Well done!
9421743
I know.But I just wanted to express myself.It's sad, dramatic, but really AWESOME!
9422722
Ya
9422734
Tainted Colors has Rainbow's mother as the abuser.
Well-written, though I did see some unnecessary phrasing and unneeded detail. Instead of saying "chest-area", you can simply say "chest", or whatever the other half of "-area" contains. "Chest area" is a bit... almost confusing. You could simply just state their torso, chest, specify to stomach or breast, and you would be further accurate and specific and it would remove additional wordiness.
9422924
Yarp, she was. A bloody horrible abuser, too. Remember when Applejack noticed that Dash flinched in class and was half asleep when everyone was leaving? Applejack was the one that found out that Dashie was horribly bruised, and that scene was just heartbreaking.
9422955
That was a painful read.
You really wrote a great one here mate!
Exceedingly well written, now if you excuse me I gotta go find a Ponk to hug.
Good descriptions, but a little too fast paced for my taste. It seemed unrealistic how quickly he went to full blown murder rage, especially since we are given no explanation about the cause of the whole situation and that Pinkie literally says he's not an evil man. This is further compounded by the father's dialogue being over the top mustache twirling villainy. Somebody who says "I'm going to enjoy killing you and my daughter." Isn't in a murder frenzy, he's cognitive enough to understand his actions.
This guy isn't abusive, he's full on psychotic. He doesn't deserve to go to prison, he needs to go to a mental ward.
I like the idea of this story, there are a lot of spelling and and grammatical errors, as well as sentences that don't make sense.
The use of cliche television tropes is just...
This guy got stabbed, cut, sliced, stubbed his toe and got glass to his face, but a cheap lamp is what takes him out?
The story was really okay until then, then it lost me with an ending I saw as soon as rainbow got in the house.
Like I said, this isn't a bad story, you should have just ran it through some experienced editors first.
Oh man. What an ass. Hope he gets life, and Pinkie can recover.
Good story. Sad but good, anyway. Thanks for the unexpected trip down memory lane dude.
9423944
I'm my own editor, and I have over seven years of experience. That being said, I run through stories I write multiple times for errors, but even then, there are still likely to be a few errors left within said story.
Besides, about the injuries, if you've ever been in a rage or injured badly yourself, you'll know that the adrenaline running through your body keeps you from noticing a bit of pain, and I can vouch for that fact myself.
9423652
Suppose he did murder them both? It could easily have happened, and by that point, a mental ward wouldn't be an option. He would be sent to prison to await trail before being sent to Death Row for his crimes.
he's gonna burn burn burn in the burning ring of fire
The descriptions in this need to be cut down a lot. It slows the action down tremendously, which makes it much harder to get invested in. We didn't need an entire paragraph on how bad someone smells in the middle of a knife fight, we don't need these regular extensions spelling out what the average seven year old can infer or dragging things out so the intended emotion is lost, and we especially don't need to know things like what a character's shoes look like.
I'm sorry, but there's just too much of it all. A Girl And Her Alligator could have been half this length.
9425260
At what point did I describe someone's shoes? Besides, if you had any sense, you'd realise that those descriptions were intentional. The whole point of me describing the smell of Pinkie's father was an indication of what kind of person he is. He's a heavy drinker and a heavy smoker. That much should have been obvious. It's a part of the drama in the story, and it was meant to hint at where his aggression comes from, which is a bit of a stereotype in the sense that alcoholics are more than likely to be an abuser.
Literally all of my descriptions are intended for the reader to pay attention to, and if you don't actually have the mindset to understand that, then I'm afraid that there's going to be no use in trying to explain it to you, so I don't really know why you're here in the first place.
9425315
First of all, you described shoes twice. Both Rainbow's and Pinkie's. Second, textwalls are generally only interesting if we don't know where they're going. Everyone knows this story beat for beat, so the key is to make the descriptions punchier instead of just longer. Third, seriously, if something can be shortened by half or more with no real loss, it needs trimming. There's just no reason to meander like this when we've seen it all a thousand times.
And fourth, I'm here because I was curious about a story in the feature box. That's kind of obvious, I'd think. But whatever, if you want to look down on me for expecting something less distracted and rambling, that's your business.
Overall why following very basic and classic tropes this story wasnt half bad. Yes the dialouge and certian portrails of charecters leaves much to be disered in the basic tropes ie abusive father who drinks and smokes (took that alittle personal[jk]). It dosen’t distract that greatly from the working of the stories base plot idea that sometimes the only way we find out someone has a problem is when its too late. Yes in this Case Rainbow showed just in time but she almost didnt had Pinkie not forgot her bag. Generally overall i would give this story a 4/5 for also the fast pace. I felt you could have put into mention a reason that caused her Father to abuse Alchol and become an abuser at the very least rather the leave us trying to guess. Good Work and keep it up
9424551
As he goes down, down, down, the flames go higher. 🎶
Well...hot damn. This was something I didn't think I'd see come out of this fandom. Like, Pinkie's father has always been strict, but I can't recall the idea of him being abusive ever making it to my attention. Very interesting take.
And now, for a bit of levity after such a fic:
Well, now we know the author isn't from the US. XP
I did not enjoy this read. Not to say that I didn't fav and thumbs up it anyways, but this was not an enjoyable read. As much as i like the dark tag, some things need a different one, like real dark, as in too close to reality / dark. Nevertheless, this is a good fic.
9750937
Actually, I wrote this with Pinkie being the sole focus, meaning that I wrote it imagining if her sisters never existed in the first place. So, I guess they were not born in this story, so Marble, Maud and Lime didn't and don't have any place in the world, which I suppose would make this an alternate universe story, come to think of it.