Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

During the course of a sleepover at Ponyville Castle, it is revealed that neither Twilight nor any of her friends have ever kissed a stallion. Things quickly get competitive, and soon Spike, the only male within striking distance, is forced to run for his life.

EDIT: WOW! Already featured only a few hours after publishing 6/20/17! Thank you all!

Equestria is in general a really kind, wholesome place. You've been around the block a few times, and seen your fair share of hardship. But honestly? Some of the slang that these ponies seem to be worrying about is just... out of line. Don't seven year old's say worse things on Xbox Live?

This Story Contains: Nothing to Worry About. Trust Me.

Don't you Trust Me?

Reading by Straight To The Point Studios

Anon finds himself in the midst of a hostile invasion from the Storm King's army. For the first time since he’s got here, the ponies are in genuine danger. It’s up to Anon and a rag tag team to free Ponyville!

Note: Here’s my attempt at a more adventure style story. This story is based in my Race Relation canon (I’ve decided to put all of my HiE stories under that narrative banner). Inspired by the blink-and-you-miss-it shot of Ponyville on fire in the movie. As always, thanks for reading, if you do, and I’m sorry

Anon and Co. go out for dinner to have some good vibes and even gooder pizza. His friends were prepared for a wonderful outing, that’s not what they got.

Or, Anon is a full grown man who refuses to eat the crust from pizza and gets his comeuppance.

Hearts and Hooves Day. Anon wants a pizza; Cadance wants to find him a marefriend. Only one of them is going to get what they want today.

A pony is stuck in a fence, and it's my job to get her out.

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Cover art by silfoe. I've always loved this particular picture.

Inspired by the cover art and this video.

Originally wanted this to be in 2nd person, but I know that can turn people off to the whole thing. I get it, I used to be like that too.

Featured on March 2nd, 2020! Thanks so much guys!

Now has a live reading by StraightToThePointStudio.

Anon wants to live a simple life but ends up in Equestria with the powers of an (Eldritch) God. Weeks after his arrival, Rarity buys him a diner/bar as a welcoming gift and business franchise where she can get her clients. Anon then works at his diner/bar and successfully lives a simple life, though things get more exciting each day for every pony he meets. Anon also occasionally uses his infinite powers to poke a little fun. Good slice of life stuff.

The sequel to Wayward Courier. Read that first, or you'll get lost.

Two months after his first visit to Equestria, Thomas has returned. And this time, he's not alone!
Now the ponies have to deal with not only him, but a depressed snarky ex-Scribe and a Brotherhood Ghoul with her own list of incredible achievements and emotional baggage.
However, things aren't well in Equestria, as they quickly find out...

All major details relating to Season 3 are non-canon to this fic.

Thanks to Twilight Sparkle and her friends, Equestria has known its longest period of peace! Except for the reoccurring existential threats. And if you ignore that thousand years when the Elements of Harmony weren't needed.

Well, that time is over. A new villain has come to tame the mythical land of magical horses. Or, well, he's there at least. Equestria has a way of taming itself.