• Member Since 6th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


I wrote hoers (Ko-Fi/Patreon)


Equestria is in general a really kind, wholesome place. You've been around the block a few times, and seen your fair share of hardship. But honestly? Some of the slang that these ponies seem to be worrying about is just... out of line. Don't seven year old's say worse things on Xbox Live?

This Story Contains: Nothing to Worry About. Trust Me.

Don't you Trust Me?

Reading by Straight To The Point Studios

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 65 )

I do not trust you.

I refuse to not be a part of this Schrodinger's Cat experiment.

Freglz #5 · Jan 5th, 2020 · · 1 ·

Update: I did not regret this. You have gained my eternal trust.

That's a spicy meatball.

Ending a game with a Wild plus 4 is like using your strongest move on an enemy with 1 HP

Yes it is. I did that my sister once, and I got choked out for my troubles

Did you...did you write that whole thing...just for that last line? You fiend!

It's also like using an Earthquake to kill somebody in Shellshock Live.

Feghoot Fever can have a very long incubation period.

I shudder to think of what it will be like if Anon introduces 'Cards Against Humanity'

After the “broken bindings” read? I’m sorry, but no, i do not trust you at all Flutterpriest,

I will however read this,

This needs to be a thing that happens,

... I'm really gonna regret reading this, but I have to just to see how you can fit those tags with an E rating

Damn, flutters' wild!

You'll regret that, dearly.

If there is anything I have learned during my time here, it's to never trust the tags.

I'm somewhat dissapointed and yet relieved that this is pretty innocent


But it's still oh-so-satisfying!

Uno is a great game, dont let this story make you think otherwise.

Great story Priest boy.

The ultimate disrespect is to kill someone on 10 hp or less with a sniper shot.

Comment posted by Song deleted Jan 5th, 2020

Flutterpriest asking me to trust them.... Yup! Im that gullible! :pinkiehappy:

Edit: I feel ripped off. You should have STARTED with Settlers of Pontan Sigh.

Smurf #24 · Jan 5th, 2020 · · 1 ·

Anon should get them to play monopoly, Ponyville will be a burning husk by the end of it :rainbowlaugh:

is there any other way to kill an enemy

This was just too good to pass up on as a fun little short! The tags and misleading was absolutely perfect in how ya executed it! Mix of characters was awesome, the content ahh JUST EVERYTHING! Everything is perfect! Hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't help myself! I had to make a little reading on this!

Audio Link: https://youtu.be/UXjxV18YAkA

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment!)

Not offended at all! I'm just happy I can share it. :)

Monopoly or Diplomacy would be better games to mess with the ponies.

“B-but there are other ponies here,” Fluttershy mumbles.

... Someone needs to go to the bad pony corner.

Deeply satisfying without being rated M for Mature?
No, that would go straight to an M rating where Twilight shows what an alicorn can do with internal organs.

Y'uno, I really didn't expect this to be Rated E at first.

Only you, Priesty. Only you.

upvoted and favourite'd

Did you come up with the pun at the end? If so, ur such a God


Suck it, Red!

You turn to Fluttershy and lower your voice to her.

“Now what was that you were saying earlier? About other ponies being around?”

But your question is drowned out as Spike chuckles to himself loudly. He pulls a card from his hand and raises it high in the air.

Absolutely brilliant.

“I’m about to end this Princess’s whole career.”




Ah, foreign idioms. Always tricky. Though now I wonder what graphic sayings ponies might spout when not laboring under a TV-Y rating. I imagine bits and bridles feature heavily.

And I do love how the title refers to both Anon's exclamations and the content of the story. Nice work!

I swear, those, Uno, Catan, and Mario Party make up five of the Elements of Disharmony. The sixth is presumably kept sealed in Satan's rumpus room.

Well, Fluttershy? Your place or mine?

Don't forget Mario Kart, a few shell throws and everyone is each other's mortal enemy.

“Wait, wait!” you call against the storm of angry pony voices. “That’s not what I meant!”

“I will not tolerate the implications of bodily harm or forcing ponies to….” Twilight’s voice trails off, a gag rising in her throat.

“That’s not-- It’s just a thing from Earth! A gamer thing!”

Ahh, memes. When you say something that means one thing, but you mean an entirely different thing. Culture clash follows. Gotta watch your gamer slang in a new culture, because that's still a tame one.

How the fuck do you have this marked as E for Everyone yet you have almost every tag for a Mature audience?

I do believe that Uno would kill the harmony of the land, and Discord would love the game....

I'm not the first and won't be the last to comment on that tag combination. What I'm curious about, though, is: Does this story exist because you wanted to tag an E-rated story with those warnings, or did the tagging come later?

Edit: And I see I've been spawn camped by the author's note. :pinkiecrazy: Well played.

Ahhh... ummmm... mmmm...

That was some of the sexiest shit I've ever seen

Uno, Monopoly, Diplomacy, Mario Kart, Mario Party, and Catan: the Friendship Armageddon Deluxe Edition™ pack. When you want to not only send a message to your now ex-friend, but to their next of kin as well!

That ending Wah-wah.

Fun fact I suck it on a daily basis.... Losing at games of course.:trollestia:

I swear my brother has a fouler mouth than me after getting Discord(the program) than I did after 4 years in the army. And he gets LOUD.

Maybe he's practicing for a career in the navy?

Ting, tang, walla-walla bing bang!

That just resurrects all sorts of questions about why bits and bridles would be a thing in a predominately equine society. But by all means, continue.

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