The Storm on Ponyville

by DatZigga

Chapter 5: Eye of the Storm

Anonymous kept watch through the windows. Timberwolves prowled through the streets, looking for anything they could get their wooden teeth on. The Storm creatures looked to be retreating from the town, towards the outskirts. Ponyville was an absolute mess, with the streets littered with debris and buildings taking some structural damage. Anon hadn’t seen something this rundown and worn since being back on Earth. It was crazy to think that Anon would have to remember this kind of setting, given he had lived it for his entire life. Yet, the bright and cheeriness of this world had disarmed him. It was almost unbelievable that a town like Ponyville could taste such destruction and devastation. He couldn’t help but feel bad for the ponies of Ponyville.

Speaking of, he felt one of them tug at his pant leg. He looked down to see that it was none other than Scootaloo, the mastermind of this little plan. Anon desperately wanted to cuss out the little filly for nearly getting him killed. Instead, he sighed and kneeled down to ruffle her hair.

“You did good, kid.” Anon said, confusing himself as to why he would congratulate the shit. Chalking this mistake up to trauma, he followed the Filly into the dining hall. Here, Starlight and Trixie were practically running a soup kitchen, attempting to feed everyone in this time of crisis. Of course, other ponies helped with cooking and baking because that was the kind of town Ponyville was. Even during a time like this, they were baking cupcakes, pies, and other sweet goods. It perplexed Anon to no end. Hell, where’d they even get the supplies to make sweets?

Anon joined a line that had been forming, with the three fillies behind him. He tried to ignore the many ponies that were staring at him, to no avail. He was adamantly reminded why he didn’t ever want to leave his house. Luckily, the fillies chose now to annoy him with conversation.

“Did you see us, Mr. Anonymous?” Apple Bloom asked, jumping in place. “We actually got to be heroes for once like our big sisters!”

“Was kinda busy not dying.” Anon answered, putting his hands in his pockets. The line sure was moving.

“If we didn’t already have our cutie marks, I’d say we should’ve gotten one for being rescuers!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. The three fillies clapped their hooves together in what could be assumed was the pony equivalent of a group high five.

“Cutie Mark Big Dang Heroes!” They chimed in unison. How they all knew to say the same thing was beyond Anon.

“The hell even is a cutie mark?” Anon couldn’t help but mutter the question under his breath. The fillies heard and then gasped audibly.

“You don’t know what a cutie mark is?” Apple Bloom looked at Anon with a skeptical glare. “Have you been living under a rock?”

“More like in an abandoned hut at the edge of your town but sure. Let’s go with rock.”

“Well, a cutie mark is only the most important thing in the world!” Sweetie Belle enlightened Anon matter-of-factly, bouncing her curly mane in one of her hooves. “It tells everypony what your special talent is.”

“Yeah! We three got matching cutie marks for helping others find their cutie marks, see?” The three fillies squashed their hindquarters together, showing their marks, and presented themselves to Anon. Anon took a momentary glance before immediately turning away in shock and embarrassment.

“Dear lord, put that away!” Anon pleaded, shielding his eyes, “I ain’t tryna catch a case here!” The three fillies tilted their heads.

“What the hay does that mean?” Apple Bloom was the first to ask. Anon shook his head.

“Forget it. I rather hope and believe no such thing exists in this world.” Anon reaches the food part of the line. He avoided the cakes and cupcakes, having a distaste for the spongy, ickiness of cake. Instead, he just took a couple doughnuts. It was nothing that’ll fill his stomach, but he expects the sugar will keep him going for another hour or so. The fillies loaded their plates with sweets, only to sheepishly unload half of it after the others in line glared at them.

Anon avoided the big table where all the ponies had congregated. He instead found a corner, far in the back of the room freed of any equine based creatures. He pressed his back against the wall and slid down to sit. Before him still were the troublesome trio.

“Don’t you girls have other friends beyond yourselves?” Anon questioned.

“Oh yeah! We have tons from school!” Sweetie Belle cheerfully replies.

“But it looked like you were gonna sit alone.” Scootaloo wore a concerned expression. Anon scoffed.

“That was the plan.” He nonchalantly muttered, eating a doughnut. He did his best to not acknowledge how fluffy and sugary the doughnut was. The fillies looked at each other and, with determined faces, nodded in unison.

“You could use a couple friends yourself, Anon.” Apple Bloom decided.

“Debatable.” He took another bite, keeping his eyes close so as to not be tempted with puppy eyes.

“Have you ever had friends?” Scootaloo asked incredulously.

“Long, long ago. Maybe. Depends on what you count as a friend.” Anon faked thinking deeply. “I stood in a group of people and listened to them talk, but never said a word and never hung out with them.

“That’s not friendship.” Sweetie declared. Anon only gave a halfhearted shrug.

“Guess not then.” Anon kept his eyes closed, not daring to open them. Despite this, he knew deep down he had likely upsetted the fillies. Anon silently bet that his cutie mark would have been a pill bottle because he was such a downer. He suddenly felt a heat touching against his legs and in his lap. Anon opened one eye, only to see that fillies took residence to his lap and thighs, eating their food. For once, they were silent. Anon grimaced. He knew he should’ve kept his eyes, and probably his mouth, shut.

As a gesture of repentance, Anon used his hands to lightly pet the three ponies. The urge had been eating at him since he walked with them into the Everfree. Their coats were soft and heavenly. From their smiles and blissful gazes, Anon could tell they enjoyed it too. The last time he ever pet a pony was Twilight on their first meeting. He worried that it might’ve been demeaning or infantilizing. The fillies didn’t object though, so what’s the harm? It was difficult however, having three fillies and only two hands. If Anon pets one pony too long, the neglected pony reaches for his hand and steals it. Yet, if Anon were to be honest with himself, this was a real good problem to have. Anon could feel his chest rise and fall as he reached a meditative state. He didn’t realize just how tired the day had made him. Or maybe those doughnuts had caused him a sugar crash. Whatever the case, Anon ceased hearing the murmurs of the room and instead focused in on both his and the fillies soft breathing. Maybe, just maybe…

CRASH!

The sudden sound of lightning silenced the entire castle. There was a brief moment, before another sound of lightning followed. This pattern repeated, as only a few seconds of silence interrupted the striking of lightning. Anon sighed in defeat, moving the disturbed and frightened fillies from his lap as he stood. He walked up to the front-facing windows and looked outside. The sight was a foreboding one.

A massive airship was stationed right above Ponyville, as a massive storm raged just above that. The sky was dark and rain poured down onto the beaten town. From the ship itself was where the majority of lightning strikes emerged. Cannons protruded from the air ship's hull, firing lightning bolts at the ground. They struck down at the ground, blowing apart the remaining Timberwolves that roamed. The Timberwolves, hearing the thunderous crashes, ran off back into the Everfree Forest. Once they were gone, the cannons turned to face the castle. Anon cursed and ducked down.

The Crystal Castle was struck with a bolt of lightning that shook the castle to its foundations. What was once quiet now erupted into pandemonium once more as ponies panicked at the Storm soldier’s assault. The Mayor, in a futile attempt, tried to reign in the ponies that ran in circles and into rooms. The castle sustained numerous strikes in this time, which only served to add to the fire.

“We gotta fight an airship now?!” Anon whined in disbelief. Anon peeled carefully back out of the window, watching as Storm creatures descended from the ship on ropes that reached the ground. They were armed with their spears once more and formed a barricade in front of the castle. Moreover, they used what debris they could find to create some waist high cover. Anon could see the tips of the spears glowing a light blue. Anon saw a spear aimed towards him and ducked in time before a rouge bolt whizzed past his head. Needless to say, Anon backed away from the window.

“Anonymous, what’s happening out there?” Starlight Glimmer galloped next to Anon, dragging a reluctant Trixie by her tail. She had curled up into a ball, shivering like a baby left in the cold.

“I-It’s all over, Starlight! T-They’re going to strike us with l-lightning!” Trixie stammered from behind her hooves.

“Hate to agree with Blooregard Q. Kazoo over there, but yeah. They’re trying to hit us with lightning.” Anon crouched down to the floor, unsure if another bolt would come flying fast and decide he was a pretty good conductor. “They got a big ass ship too.”

“That’s...not good.” Starlight had a thousand yard stare.

“I take it you have no contingency plans?” Anon asked hopefully. “A magic spell that can maybe make a whole platoon of soldiers and a ship go away?”

“Not any spell I could cast.” Starlight admitted. She sat and held her forehooves to her temple, deep in thought. “Maybe...maybe I can teleport everypony behind the castle and we can slip away?” Anon shook his head.

“If I were one of them, I’d make sure I’d have all my victims in one spot. They have to be watching this place on all sides. Plus, there’s a big airship. You ain’t outrunning that.” All this doom and gloom was enough to make Trixie bawl her eyes out. Anon, for a brief moment, was taken out of the worry of impending to marvel at the sheer amount of liquids pouring out of her eyes.

“Trixie’s Wagon is still out there!” She cried, a small puddle of tears forming at her feet. She sniffled as she tried to talk. “Trixie won’t be able to perform her shows! Trixie will be locked in a dark, smelly dungeon. Or, worse, she’ll have to perform for entertainment to a bunch of evil Storm creatures! For Free-ee-eeee~” Trixie cried even harder at such a heinous idea. Anon’s eye twitched.

“You’re crying because you won’t preform a dumb show?!” Anon yelled at her, causing the pony to look up at him with an angry, yet still tearful expression.

“But of course! Trixie’s a magician!” She wipes her teary eyes and points an accusatory hoof at the human. “If you had seen the Great and Powerful Trixie at a more convenient time, you would not insult her craft.”

“Magic already exists! You’re a unicorn! What could you possibly do that no one else could?!” Anon was beginning to lose it, as the weight of the situation bore on his shoulders, crushing him under the prospect of dying in an alien world far from home. Trixie angrily sniffs.

“Trixie’ll have you know, Trixie has a talent for creating fireworks, sprinklers and other pyrotechnics better than anypony!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, cause all you ponies have a cutie mark that represents...a special...talent…” The gears in Anon’s brains shook off the cobwebs and began turning. “Wait, you can make fireworks?”

“Of course Trixie can!” She asserted. “I even had a little market for it. Although, Trixie’s fireworks are known for their...volatility.” She scratched at the back of her mane with a hoof sheepishly. Anon nodded to himself, placing a hand to his chin.

“Where are these fireworks, Trixie.”

“Trixie has said, they’re in her wagon outside. Why do you want to know?”

“Cause I might just be able to save all your asses again.” Anon asserted, a smile spreading on his fate. He turned to Starlight, lightning still cracking in the background. He swore he heard the crystalline shell behind him crack. “Starlight. Can you teleport us into her wagon.” To this, Starlight blew a raspberry.

“Ha, can I.” She asserted, with a wave of her hoof. Anon grabbed it, emphasizing his point.

“Teleport us.” He asked the pony. “If we can pick up those fireworks and whatever else is in there, I can think of a few uses for them that could even the playing field.”

“But,” Starlight started. “You’re a human! I don’t know how magic of that nature will affect you. Twilight and I meant to run tests, but you never responded to our letters or-“

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s stop talking about the things I didn’t do and focus on what I’m gonna do.” Anon pleaded with his eyes. Starlight looked behind her as all the ponies had evacuated the dining room and had entered into the many, many rooms within the castle. She could still hear their distant cries, however. She looked back to Anon and nodded. Her horn started to glow.

The sensation was disorientating at best, debilitating at worse. Anon felt as though a flash bang had gone off right in front of his nose. Probably should’ve backed up a bit. His ears were ringing, the air around him was displaced, and vertigo hit him like a truck. Anon could feel the doughnuts he had eaten plan a speedy retreat. Anon lurched in the opposite direction to where Starlight had been and vomited. Immediately, something was off. Anon, his vision still gone, couldn’t see anything. However, he slowly gained his hearing and thought he heard a light shimmering noise. He reached up and rubbed his eyes of the light. When Anon felt comfortable enough to open them, the sight before him stunned him.

Where Anon had thrown up what he assumed was sugar coated bile, was instead a rainbow colored mixture that sparkles in the darkness. Anon blinked a few times, before coughing a few more drops. This caught Trixie’s attention.

“You buffoon!” Trixie exclaimed. “You threw up in Trixie’s Wagon!” Anon attempted to stand, only to hit his head on the roof. He clutched it and looked closely around his environment. The wagon was tight fit for the three and the new rainbow mess only limited their space.

“Should I be worried?” Anon asked, his stomach threatening to evict more fantastical bodily fluids. Starlight shrugged while making the universal noise of “I have no clue”. Anon decided to leave that for another day and returned to his observations. The wagon was packed with all sorts of junk, with a pair of beds on the sides and pyrotechnics haphazardly left lying around. “Damn, bitch, you live like this?”

“You have no right to judge, Anonymous.” Trixie replied quickly, as if she anticipated a comment.

“Is that the first time you’ve used my name?” He fired back. The two would have gotten into it, hadn’t Starlight stepped in.

“Can we please just get what we came for and go?” Starlight groaned. With that, Anon and the ponies grabbed whatever they could carry in flammable material. Anon also made sure to carry gunpowder, a little smirk on his face. Trixie caught it from the corner of her eye.”

“Why are you smiling?” She asks cautiously.

“I wouldn’t think you ponies had this in your world. Thought you used magic or some shit.”

“We do.” Starlight interjected. “It’s more of an option for Earth ponies and Pegasi. It’s a fairly simple spell too.” Anon considered this new information.

“In that case, prepare to teach your fellow unicorns, Starlight.” Anon ordered.

“Anonymous,” Starlight asked slowly, casting a curious gaze at the human. He was holding up a box of Roman Candles. On his face was the most mischievous grin, one that was almost scary in how self-assured it was. For Anon, he wasn’t entirely sure if this would even work at all. But, the prospect of what he was planning was enough to excite him. He turned to look over his shoulder at Starlight as she asked a simple question. “What exactly are you planning to do?”

“It’s really simple, Starlight.” Anon pulled up a large empty cylinder and looked again at the Roman candles. “We’re gonna fight fire...with fire.”

“Aren’t the Storm creatures using lightning, Anon?” Trixie asked smugly, thinking she called him out. Anon glared at the blue horse.

“Dammit Trixie, you fucked it up!”

Comments

[Vaalintine]

The whole making friends in equestria bit really doesn't work, given the only real friend he has is Spike, because almost none of the ponies have been very friend-like. Mostly just pushing him to do what they want.

At this point I think Anon's best bet for making any friends is for Spike to introduce him to some dragons, griffons, ect

[resonance]

“Dear lord, put that away!” Anon pleaded, shielding his eyes, “I ain’t tryna catch a case here!” The three fillies tilted their heads.

I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

Good dynamic between trixie and anon

[Acadians6545]

“Dear lord, put that away!” Anon pleaded, shielding his eyes, “I ain’t tryna catch a case here!” The three fillies tilted their heads.

*Chris hoofsen walks in* Have a seat please. Would you like to tell me why three children were exposing themselves to you?
What's your name sir? Anonymous? Bit of an odd name. So I take it you're a virgin.

[Pete100]

This was probably one of the funniest chapters.