• Member Since 10th Feb, 2020
  • offline last seen November 20th


No matter who wins, we all lose. But losing is just winning with extra steps. https://ko-fi.com/datzigga Dipcord: DatZigga#0503



Anon finds himself in the midst of a hostile invasion from the Storm King's army. For the first time since he’s got here, the ponies are in genuine danger. It’s up to Anon and a rag tag team to free Ponyville!

Note: Here’s my attempt at a more adventure style story. This story is based in my Race Relation canon (I’ve decided to put all of my HiE stories under that narrative banner). Inspired by the blink-and-you-miss-it shot of Ponyville on fire in the movie. As always, thanks for reading, if you do, and I’m sorry

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 53 )

Yes yes! I love these stories, please continue!

I look forward to seeing how he leads the resistance I think trixie makes her own fireworks so he can certainly get fuse and gunpowd for pip bombs and the castle probably has a lot of lamp oil for molotov cocktails you know to give the new guests a good drink and I'm sure they don't mind if we borrow the nice balloon they have

The whole making friends in equestria bit really doesn't work, given the only real friend he has is Spike, because almost none of the ponies have been very friend-like. Mostly just pushing him to do what they want.

At this point I think Anon's best bet for making any friends is for Spike to introduce him to some dragons, griffons, ect

Worth fighting for? Eh, no. Other than generally helping out to make things less crap and fighting for your own life, not really anything worth fighting for. The ponies still don't seem very likable. The CMC get a pass because they're young and don't understand they're being a nuisance, and generally annoying. Starlight is mostly just focused on fighting back, and Trixie was a dick.

I still think there isn't anyone he can actually call friend other than Spike.

I can understand your criticism. The idea behind this chapter was less about him seeing the ponies worth fighting for, more about fighting for the happiness he felt as a result of taking action and not sitting idly by. But, I’m an amateur. I do plan on writing more slice of life that actually revolves around Anon properly meeting the residents, I’ve just been meandering. I’m sorry.

Oh I don't think its bad, just the Ponyville's (pony) inhabitants have been rather unlikable. By pressing so much for him be their friend they're proving unfit for it, because they seem to insist on him doing as they do and skipping merrily through flowery fields even if that's not what he wants to do.

I mean, Trix has gunpowder, right? So, metal tube, ignition, gunpowder, cloth and ball bearings. Rudimentary gun.

I had a proofreader, but not anymore. Moreover, most of these stories are flash in the pan ideas and I'm too impatient to revise. So, yeah. Sorry. I'll be more cognizant.

“Listen, y’all.” Anon said, gripping the bridge of his nose. “I ain’t about to get my ass chased by some goddamned Timberwolves!”

Anon gets Chased by Timberwolves

Why didn’t he go for the spear in the wall?

Much better quality. And yeah, lock picking under duress is never fun.

“Dear lord, put that away!” Anon pleaded, shielding his eyes, “I ain’t tryna catch a case here!” The three fillies tilted their heads.

I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

Good dynamic between trixie and anon

That realization hit a bit to close to home. All that effort and pain and not even getting a kamehameha out of it?

Nah dude, it was a good ending.

I mean, it’s that feeling of when you’ve done something great and life goes back to normal.

Except he can’t go back to normal and is still fighting against losing his identity and being absorbed by the pony goodness.

You could have had him give starlight some more shit about the kids. And or wanting to spend time with her girlfriend.

Why didn’t you have him kill anybody tho?

He didn’t grab a spear or bash anyone’s head in with the bat.

The spear things is a genuine oversight, but regardless, I feel hesitant to have actual portray death or murder in these stories. My hidden condition for these stories is to make them as accurate to the show as possible, so killing is a decidedly uncommon thing in this world. So, all violence is cartoon violence, except on him where it’s more realistic.

Tl;dr I’m a puss

“Oh yeah! Look at chu!” Anon taunted, slurring his words slightly. “Y’all came talkin’ all that good shiz a second ago, then you got kicked in yo’ chess. You eat a dick, nigga! You...eat a…” Was all Anon could get out before collapsing alongside the storm creature, passing out from the combination of pain and exhaustion.

So...Anon's real name is Stinkmeaner.

Daaaayum, now that's a fight right there!

Fuck. Yes!

Man those are some bombass fireworks!

Winkbreaker? More like Skyshatterer

(also fuck, just got the windbreaker joke, if it was meant to be one)

Hahaha fucking love the boondocks

“Fuck me!” Anon yelled out as the creature charged. Anon quickly noticed a gap in the creature’s legs. He duck’s underneath the monster, allowing it to slam into the opposite wall. Anon quickly stood, only to be grabbed from behind by the second beast, arm wrapped around his neck. Anon kicked and flailed, to no avail. Pure instinct taking over, he bites the creature's arm. Though he didn’t draw blood, the creature wailed in pain and dropped a coughing and shaken Anon. He quickly turned on his knees, finding himself at eye level to the monster’s waist.

Clench them cheeks or they might me boyo.

“Hope the rules still apply.” Anon mutters, swinging his arm back. Then, in a fierce uppercut, brought his fist in contact in what he assumed was the monster’s no-no zone. Judging by the sudden silence and collapse to its knees, Anon guessed right.

Ah yes the Johnny Cage special.

“Yo!” He called out, the sound of his voice echoing through the cave. A few eyes opened in the darkness, shining green in the darkness. “Hey there, timberpups. It’s me, ya boi.

Ya boi long dick.

“Aw shit nigga!” Anon said with elation at his genius. “I’m about to snuff me some puppers!” Anon tossed the torch down into the streets, unknowingly having tossed it on some poor Storm creature’s armor. The creature screamed as it forcibly removed all of its clothing, leaving it to cover his now exposed body.

Make them eat the curb.

“Dear lord, put that away!” Anon pleaded, shielding his eyes, “I ain’t tryna catch a case here!” The three fillies tilted their heads.

*Chris hoofsen walks in* Have a seat please. Would you like to tell me why three children were exposing themselves to you?
What's your name sir? Anonymous? Bit of an odd name. So I take it you're a virgin.

I feel like I would be doing what anon is doing.

I love how anon is starting to open up a little bit.

This was probably one of the funniest chapters.

Why is he called windbreaker?

Man, that realization hit hard.

He’s fighting against the Storm King’s army. Storms are know to have powerful winds, yet he defies them. He breaks wind. Just now realizing that’s also a fart joke, so it’s extra fitting.

That is a quality bat right there!

“All the way back to Ponyville, righ-“

“Nigga, get to the point.”

I pictured Sweetie Belle saying this to Scootaloo and just lost it!

“It appears to just be standing there. Menacingly.”

Once more, they panicked and ran in every which way, hoping to avoid the crash landing. The ship’s underbelly hit the ground first and slowly the entire vessel started falling apart, board by board. The ship finally stopped by the edge of the Everfree Forest, permanently grounded.

Nah, Ponyville, so you would get a kumbaya at best.

If you saw the movie you will see that there is death in that world, no matter how colorful it is.:fluttershysad:
what better way to show off bloodless gore than to blast your enemy turned to stone.:pinkiecrazy:

If that's not dying, I don't know what it is.:unsuresweetie:
except the part where he turned to stone was vastly premature in getting rid of the villain:ajbemused:

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but that’s why I said uncommon. That is also a very PG death and I believe the end credits implied he’s still alive. That, is arguably worse.

Read this story again yesterday and it really holds up.

Anon story where it focuses on his growth (albeit it slow and him being annoyed most of the time) with other characters? Simply dashing, darling.

You are aware that you can practice lockpicking without it being illegal, right? ;D You can even time your attempts. I'm sure there are guilds and leagues for this sort of thing, like there are for virtually everything a human can do...

“I ain’t about to get my ass chased by some goddamned Timberwolves!”

Something tells me that he is about to get his ass chased by some goddamn Timberwolves... ;]

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