A question that has plagued philosophical ponies for... well just over a decade since Princess Cadance was granted the title. Deep Thinker, a member of the guard, is one such pony. Unfortunately whilst thinking on it he states his conclusion out loud, behind the very Princesses themselves.

After a strange alien creature named Anon suddenly showed up in Equestria, it was only natural that Twilight Sparkle would want to help him adjust to his new environment. To do so, she enlists the help of local school teacher Ms. Cheerilee. With her guidance, Anon should be able to learn how to do things the "pony way," and before he knows it, he'll be another friendly face in Ponyville's growing community.

Unfortunately, Cheerilee isn't exactly a fan of the new human in town, nor is said human particularly happy to be under the tutelage of an elementary school teacher.

Is there any hope of them getting along?

Princess Twilight Sparkle knows all about friendship. As a result, her former mentor has asked her to do a presentation about friendship in front of her and other nobles. Twilight takes this as seriously as she can, but when she practices her presentation in front of one of her friends, she finds out about a form of friendship she never knew about. Now it is her responsibility to learn more about it at all costs.

...the only problem is that she doesn't know exactly what it means to be friends with benefits.

Thanks to my sleep deprived mind for giving me this awful idea~! I thought it would be fun to write a little shitpost with a play on words as a title. This is also my first fic that isn't based in the world of Equestria Girls! I hope everyone enjoys the comedic hell Twilight goes through! Oh! This story is also a gift to Mon for being an awesome friend of mine~ (Marked Teen for having conversations based around sex, but only briefly.)

You ended up in Equestria about two years ago, and in that time, you've become quite close with a number of ponies. Of them, Rarity in particular has left a major impression on you. She seems to enjoy having you around, and you appreciate the company.

That said, there is one major roadblock getting in the way of your relationship. More than anypony you know, Rarity is extremely concerned with keeping up appearances. As a fashion designer and all-around fabulous mare, she frequently wants your opinion on how she looks.

Unfortunately for you, you're a human with no way of telling what makes a pony "beautiful."

Rainbow Dash is widely known for her propensity for pranks. While seeing an unsuspecting Anonymous the human in the outskirts of Ponyville, Rainbow decides to hit him with classic from her arsenal, the ol' lightning stomp prank. It's simply really, she's played it on tons of ponies before.

Rainbow didn't think Anon would get hurt. She didn't think he'd become paralyzed. It was supposed to be a harmless prank!

'What have I done?!

Officially Featured March 1st 2023

Twilight Sparkle has been visiting Anon for some time now and his laptop was the most fascinating of his belongings. A treasure trove of knowledge and entertainment. It was also plain weird to watch a cartoon retelling of your adventures...
But one day Twilight finds out about purplesmart.ai and she gets... Interesting results...

This came about when I myself discovered stable diffusion and purplesmart.ai

Cover was made using purplesmart.ai

Starlight Glimmer finally graduates from Twilight's Friendship Studies program, and is told to find a student of her own! Twilight recommends going to a new planet, inhabited by "He-you-mains". She tries to make a friend, but finds something more! Will the "He-you-main" accept the Magic of Friendship? Will Starlight succeed in finding a student, or will she find a special somepony instead?! Learn about Starlight's adventures with the "He-you-main", and see how Neurodiversity is Magic!

Sebastian99 is my awesome proofreader!

IN PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN. I WILL LABEL REWRITTEN CHAPTERS AS SUCH!!!!

Edit: Featured 1/30/22

Edit 2: Featured 1/31/22

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Edit 27: Featured 3/12/24 (lmao for a meta update)

Thousands of years after the Golden Age of Harmony, Equestria has lost its way. Greed and power rule the day, and friendship is a luxury.

According to legend, in Equestria's darkest hour, the Protectors of Equestria will return to lead the way back to harmony.

Sometimes, though, legends need a little push.

Winner of the 2022 Sci Fi Contest SciTwi Committee Award for What Could Go Wrong If I Push This

It is well known, in academic circles, that video games, as a whole, contribute nothing to society other than to lead impressionable young foals to violence. Therefore, any colt or filly who plays such games is bound to become some kind of lunatic dark sorcerer sooner or later and turn on their fellow ponies.

So in the interest of public safety, if their downfall into darkness is guaranteed, why wait? Get them off the streets now before they can commit their heinous crimes.

It's the only logical solution.

Cover art commissioned from MN27

Nightmare night is the only time of the year where it is socially acceptable to scare poor helpless ponies out of their wits. Thingpone is determined to scare and troll at least a few of them with her horrifying and monstrous shapeshifting abilities. Anon tries to keep her from doing anything too scary but he seems to be helplessly carried along for the ride.

Fun short story I wrote a while back for a Thingpone thread. Started as a simple greentext as a response to the drawing shown in the cover image but it quickly became something more. Chapter 0 is the original greentext. Drawing is by Le Chat.