"Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender." G'Kar - Babylon 5
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Thousands of years after the Golden Age of Harmony, Equestria has lost its way. Greed and power rule the day, and friendship is a luxury.
According to legend, in Equestria's darkest hour, the Protectors of Equestria will return to lead the way back to harmony.
Sometimes, though, legends need a little push.
Winner of the 2022 Sci Fi Contest SciTwi Committee Award for What Could Go Wrong If I Push This
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Vey interesting. Nice work!
Will there be a squeal?
Whoooah, come on, that was AWESOME. Let's start off by pointing out all of the good things, because there's plenty to go
I adore the subtle world-building, just snippets of everything that's happening on the outside reflecting on what happens on the inside, bravo!
This first point also feeds into the second, the pacing in this was...marvelous and spot on. You introduced each and every single character, gave them something to do, something to say, some form of impact, explained the plot and it all moved like molten butter.
I do agree with Starlight Nova, if you ever feel like expanding this premise into a short fic or a longer one, count me in. I'll definitely dig into it if it's written like this!
Despite the rush you were in to submit it, it's still very well written, and I honestly found minuscule details to fret over grammar-wise. 9/10 descriptions hit the mark, with a few being kinda confusing (But maybe I'm just dumb).
Highlights:
I demand to know his full name!
One line of dialogue, Pinkie had one line of dialogue, and she knocked it out of the park. Given the tone of the story thus far, I wasn't expecting it and I had an honest giggle.
All in all, a really good short fic! Thank you so much for writing it!
That was anti-climatic.
Short but incredibly solid. Very well done.
Hm, I will say I'm confused. Perhaps this was my own thought of where the story was going, but in the simulation with Twilight and the others it appeared to me that Twilight was implying that Phase and her friends would be the new Defenders of Equestria.
11111148
This one confusion aside, I want to express just how much I enjoyed this story! It was incredibly intriguing in concept and I loved the execution. The futuristic setting has so many possibilities and I think you did a great job of setting up a world for this story to take place in. Regarding that, don't feel pressured to build too much lore or world-building; some stuff is better left to imagination of the reader, and I think it is more intriguing and engaging that way.
Anyways, thanks for the fun read! Really super duper enjoyed it.
11111148
That's fair. I would have liked to flesh that scene out more, but ran out of time before the contest deadline. If I put out a sequel I will definitely clarify.
10191? That sounds familiar...
11111188
I was hoping someone would catch the reference. Just a little nod.
Oh my word, I need MOAR!
That was stupendous, an absolutely wonderful read!
Bravo!
I smell a Dune reference in here somewhere...
That said, I hope you decide to continue this with another story!
I smell a new fallout Equestria level story here.
S’ok.
Please sah! Can we 'ave some more?!
This sounds like the beginning of a much longer, and just as impressive saga, one I would love to read. And it sounds like I'm not the only one
Ooooh, I hope there's more planned.
Excellent work, I add my vote to the can there be more party.
ah, the joys of finding the autograph! or the first edition, in this case
it's a very interesting situation to be in, to have a mind emulation complete with memories of a document on tap, but then needing a physical copy of said documents. lots of questions about how memory is stored and transmitted here!
a very intriguing possibility here, though it is quashed right after.
an intriguing start! nice to see canon hooks in recalling the PIllars and the trouble that came of publishing the Journal of Friendship. and Starlight and Sunburst being around in digital form in this future, helping to resurrect their friends, is a very nice idea
it is nice to see the two eras contrasted in the eyes of this future civilization. seems that Phase Shift is also more drawn to the canon period, rather than the post-canon Friendship Council!
nice payoff to the setup in the first chapter, always great to have moments like this to round out your characters
Pinkie Pie is always fun for this kind of thing
ah, the "king under the mountain", a classic motif for a reason
to repeat what i had to say at the end of the first chapter, an intriguing start! and given its publish date i do wonder if you meant to write something longer originally, as the story does end right as it feels like it is just beginning. hope you do continue writing!
Howdy, hi~!
Okay, this was super interesting as a concept. I love all the little pieces of worldbuilding and ideas thrown in here. It's an amazing premise and the characterization of the OCs was on point, which is difficult to pull off. I genuinely wish there was more since I can't help but want to sink into the world that you've created in this fic, however, that will be for if you decide you want to come back to this.
Either way, excellent read, thank you~!
I would really like to see more of this one.
11111711
Look at the date. 10191. Same year as when the first Dune novel does. There's probably more though.