Chapter 10: Shining...Justice...Starting to Bloom!
Holy crap. I kissed a horse. I did more than kiss a horse. I don’t know what to say, but she sure knows how to make a guy feel relaxed. Ethical questions of interspecies lovemaking aside, one thing’s for sure. I feel like a million bucks! My word, it’s a good thing that we are both on a cloud since nopony could see what we were doing! Regardless, right now my girlfriend-.
“It’s marefriend, Noah. You need to use the proper prefix. I am not a girl, I am a mare!” Starlight pipes into my own thought process. I need to get used to this. Right, since my marefriend and I are in aftercare mode, she thought it would be a good idea to teach me my third Friendship lesson while I am still winded!
“That’s right, Noah. Common interests, our third Friendship Lesson. Let’s just say that besides making me feel like a Princess, you have a lot of my interests! We both like reading, political stuff, activism regarding political stuff, and magic!” Starlight says, yet again breaking my train of thought. I am a bit annoyed with this tendency of hers, but I need those wings to get back down to the solid ground, so I am not going to make this into a bigger issue than it is!
We’ve been discussing Equestrian politics on this cloud for a while now, and I am a bit confused by this diarchy system. Why are there other Princesses, if they don’t have an actual role in government? It seems rather opaque and bizarre.
“Glimmy, I have a question. Why are you, Cadence, and Twilight princesses, but the three of you aren’t in a real, functional role in government?” I ask Starlight, who is a bit too busy enjoying the cuddles that I am giving her to fully pay attention.
“Well, I am not a princess yet. I will be crowned tomorrow, but your question still stands. My teacher and Cadence are in more of a ceremonial role than a governing role. The Equestrian Constitution stipulates that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are co-equal rulers of Equestria and its colonies, while Cadence is a de-facto ruler of the Crystal Empire.”
Wait, what’s a Crystal Empire? I am obviously missing something!
“What a Crystal Empire, Glimm-.”
“A vassal state of Equestria. It used to be an independent kingdom, but somepony got a bit of a colonial streak, usurped King Sombra’s throne, and installed her niece as the ruling sovereign. Nepotism and imperialism, a dangerous combination!” She says, gently placing her newly grown wings around me. Aww! Affection aside, I am a bit suspicious at how one-sided Starlight is with regard to her description of Equestrian politics, given her known leftist stance on almost everything, but I don’t know enough to successfully rebuttal her!
“And what about Twilight. I saw those six weird Elements of Harmony that zapped you into a pony goddess, but what role does Friendship play in Equestria at a macro level?” I inquire further, as I get up to stretch my legs on this cloud. It’s a rather wide cumulonimbus, where I can walk around quite easily, and in all four directions without fear of falling! Starlight yawns, but she also gets up to stretch her hooves, scanning the cloud to see where she placed her saddle and bridle.
Turning around to look at me, she comes up with a reply to my previous question: “Well, Friendship isn’t just a social value in Equestria, but also a physical, tangible force that can be manipulated to achieve means to an end. It’s a lot like a book. It can be read, written, and rewritten, and different ponies will have other opinions on how it should be. Even with this, everypony can enjoy it and appreciate the benefits it has to give!” Starlight exclaims as I am thinking about the information she gave me.
I am honestly trying to wrap my measly human mind around pony politics, and I realize that I am probably going to agree to disagree with my marefriend on basically everything. Starlight told me during our first act that she is going to make everypony equal, including me, so, I take it she still wants her commune?
“Your darn right I want to make everypony equal. I am going to be the Princess of Justice, and I want everypony to be in perfect equality! As for you, Rider of Justice, I will allow for your free-market ideas, as long as Celestia lets me nationalize all utilities!” She grins, finally spotting her saddle and bridle on the edge of the cloud. She fastens the saddle onto her, but she takes an extra minute to make sure all the straps are attached. I guess being on a cloud makes you extra cautious?
I am not going to open this can of worms with her, about how government control of prices is a bad idea, but I like the company (and the company) and I enjoy spending time with her. Maybe I just need to learn how to open my mind to new ideas?
“Indeed you do! That’s Friendship Lesson #4, actually. Open Exchange of Ideas and Friendly Debate. It’s a good thing you got me as your teacher because Twilight wouldn’t have taught you zip about equality! Now, help me with the bridle and ride me! We have to make it to Canterlot sooner than later! I pride myself on punctuality!” Starlight says, as I carefully walk atop the clouds to where my regal mount is standing.
She lights up her horn, passing me the bridle with her magic. I know what to do. I carefully attach the bridle to Starlight, making sure not to knock her teeth or cause gum pain. Once everything is in place, Starlight grins.
“Alright. You have proven yourself quite the stallion today, but for now, you are going to ride me in a more practical manner. Hop on! We’re going to Canterlot!” Starlight says eagerly, as I put my right foot into her stirrup, lifting myself onto the alicorn. With a swoop of my left leg, I am steadily astride her, and Starlight trots in place for a bit.
“Sorry, Noah, I have ants in my hooves. I need a running start to take off. Can you stay put for a bit on Air Starlight?” She asks me, speech a bit slurred from the bridle. I might have rushed.
“Oh, sorry Starlight. Do you need me to fix the bridle? Your speech is slurring a bit.” I say, reaching over and awkwardly lying on Starlight’s back belly-down, adjusting the straps so she can speak freely and eloquently. I am a bit unsteady, and I-.
I fell off of Starlight’s back! I would have crashed right through the cloud, had she not quickly activated her magic, grabbing me in a warm, lilac-colored aura, putting me right back onto my lovely steed.
“Try to suck in your core, Noah dear! Now, you know the drill. I can talk, my bridle is steady, and my lovely human paramour will ride his steed to Canterlot with grace, befitting his Princess’ wishes! Now, you had a slight misstep!”
Oh, right.
“My lovely Princess of Justice. I acted hastily in climbing atop Her Grace, and forgot to-.”
“Oh cut the crap, Noah! I was joking that one time. You forgot to tie your shoes!” Starlight quickly amends this situation by tying my shoes with her magic, making them rest against her barrel, now with a lovely double loop!
“Oops. I guess I got a bit carried away there. Now, protocol is protocol. As the future Rider of Justice, I humbly ask my liege to…”
Starlight smiles, knowing full well what I am going to say.
“Giddy up!”
Starlight likes this steed role a bit too much, in my opinion. Regardless, it’s cute. I press my heels into her sides firmly but gently, and she raises her front hooves in the air, building up potential energy.
“Casting the speedometer spell now, Noah!” Starlight says, flashing her horn and projecting all of her stats in front of my eye line.
“Hold on, kid, we’re going airborne!” She exclaims, lowering her front hooves and beginning a prompt gallop across the cloud, building up speed much faster than before. I take it that her alicorn promotion really improved her abilities. I feel my mare’s muscles contract as her wings spread out in preparation, and I flick the bridle.
With that, she leaps into the air, and begins to fly! I know it’s only been a day or two since my teacher earned her wings, but I am becoming quite used to riding on her back! I could see myself taking this beautiful gift for granted! The sun is beginning to set as we fly westward, and the view is really pretty. I think we spent a bit too much personal time up on that cloud. All I know for sure is that at a certain point, the sun will magically vanish, and the moon will begin to rise. Starlight told me that the two alicorn princesses are in charge of the celestial bodies; which could explain why they have their roles as diarchs.
“I think you got it, Noah. That’s exactly why they are princesses because they can control the sun and moon. I’d say that’s a big deal!” Starlight says, wings flapping at a steady pace. I think my lovely steed is flying well past the speed limit of a car, at 160 miles an hour?! That’s nuts. I don’t know why I am not dizzy or having my eyes fall out of my sockets?
“Starlight? Any idea why I am not dizzy or anything?” I ask her as we continue to fly incredibly fast across Equestria. I could have sworn that I see a mountain up ahead with a castle carved into its side, but it’s still too far out past the horizon to be discerned properly.
“Magic, dingus! You are my coltfriend, my student, and my rider. I am giving you magic to protect you from the elements. You are one lucky human, in my humble alicorn opinion.” She chuckles, giving me a splendid view of the realm beneath us. We are getting closer, and I do see the castle carved into the rock. Tapping my mount’s neck, I point to the castle in front of us.
“Is that where we’re heading, Glimmy?” I ask her, as she nods her head.
“Yup! Celestia’s castle, where all imperialist ambitions are born and die!” She says cynically as I see Starlight’s wings point downward, meaning we are beginning our descent. The magical altimeter is going down as I suspected, and we are slowing down, too! I take it that flying at three times the speed limit on the highway makes traveling much easier! I am a bit startled by the taste of water as we break through some clouds, temporarily blinding both of us, but it was only for a minute. Once we came underneath the clouds, I saw a vast city sprawling across the landscape. Buildings as tall as skyscrapers, and ponies of all three races interacting with each other in Harmony. I see a pizza shop, a theater, a school, everything you could want and more! I take it that’s Canterlot?
“Bingo, Noah. Canterlot, the capital of Equestria. Enjoy the descent, and don’t move until your mare has come to a complete stop!” She says in a playful manner. We continue to slow down, and I can now see Starlight’s shadow on the ground since we’re only a few hundred feet up.
I spot a few ponies pointing their hooves at us. I guess there are two reasons for this. A new alicorn, and said alicorn carrying a human, which most (if not all) of these ponies have never seen before!
“One hundred feet till hooves down. Suck in your gut. Landing isn’t cupcakes and rainbows, you know!” Starlight says, flattening out her wings as we are almost at ground level. I grip the reins a bit tightly, bracing myself for landing, and Starlight turns her head around and winks.
“You got this, Noah. You're riding me, not Rainbow Dash or some other crazy pegasus pony.” She says mockingly as we slow down even more. Gently pulling the reins up to absorb the impact, I feel the clip-clop of Starlight’s hooves as they touch the ground. I have to admit, the landing was softer than I anticipated, and Starlight went from a brisk canter to a mere trot in about fifteen seconds. Not bad! Starlight retracts her wings, and now she is trotting like any other pony here!
“Don’t get off just yet. We need to get clearance at Celestia’s castle.” Starlight tells me, as we make a right turn from the town square. Once the turn is cleared, I see the castle that I spotted from the heavens. It’s much bigger at ground level, and the front gate is flanked by around a dozen guards, fully decked in armor and some even with weapons! I noticed a few longswords, a bow and arrow, and even a bayonet! Friendship is Magic, but so are weapons!
“Keep your mouth shut, Noah. Let me do the talking.” Starlight says, trotting up to the guards, who are trying their best not to laugh at my lovely teacher.
One of them clears her throat and begins to speak.
“Another alicorn, huh? What’s that parasite you have there? Where’d you come from?” The snow-white Earth Pony mare asks Starlight, her bronze armor reflecting off the setting sun’s radiance.
“Oh, you know me, Snow Piercer, I’m Starlight Glimmer!”
The mare, who I now know to be named “Snow Piercer”, examines my steed carefully, before her comically large eyes almost bulge out of their sockets.
“Holy Celestia! Starlight, you ascended! Are you a princess? Aren’t you a bit too communist for royalty?”
My mount gives Snow Piercer a stink eye, and she refocuses her attention to me.
“What the hay is that thing? Is he hurting you?” Snow Piercer asks Starlight, whose horn lights up, opening the gates behind the mare and her troop.
“This is my student. He is a welcome guest in Equestria, under Friendship Statue #2003, and the Equestrian Exchange Program. He is a fun human, and he is to be given the utmost respect, to the point that Rarity seems like a hoodlum in comparison!” Starlight says quite defiantly. Snow Piercer looks at her guards and sighs.
“Give Princess Starlight Glimmer and her pet full clearance, and allow them access to the castle. Cloud Jumper, find Celestia and alert her of the new princess’s arrival.
A yellow pegasus stallion salutes Snow Piercer and takes off to presumably find Princess Celestia. The other guards in Snow Piercer’s troop move out of the way, and Starlight smugly trots through the gate. The front walkway is quite grand, being flanked by a statue garden and many different floral arrangements. I take it that the princess likes her flowers?
“You’d be correct, my faithful student. Now. Once we make it inside the castle, I think you can get off me. Until then, stay put.” Starlight says, as I take a deep breath and flick the bridle playfully, making Starlight trot a wee bit faster.
“Noah, behave yourself or I am bucking you off. I like you, but this is my home turf, not yours. You are atop the Princess of Justice but can just as easily be underneath her iron hoof. Do you understand?”
I know she’s joking, at least I think she is, but I am not in the mood to aggravate her further.
“Sure thing, Glimmy.” I reply quietly, as my steed playfully raises her flank up in the air, knocking me a few inches backward atop her. She giggles, knowing I am fully at Her Majesty’s mercy. After another few moments of riding towards the gate, two giant golden doors begin to open. Starlight stands still for a moment, letting the doors open in front of us. Once the doors are finally open, Starlight slowly trots forward, entering the large citadel. The crimson carpet is laced with gold ribbon and has many different patterns embroidered onto it.
“Noah, my dear. Why are you looking at the carpets? Look at the stained glass windows!” She says, pointing a hoof towards them. I change my focus, and I notice a rather beautiful mosaic of who I assume to be Princess Celestia raising the sun. It’s a pretty window, I’ll give the pony that!
I heard the flapping of wings, and I could have sworn for a moment that we might have taken off again. I almost pulled Starlight’s reins back instinctively, but Starlight’s horn flashed again, redirecting my head to the mare who is descending from the podium above us. The mare is also pure white, like Snow Piercer from a few minutes ago, but she is an alicorn as well, and I see a sun Cutie Mark on her flank. Gracefully landing on the carpet, she unfurls her wings and reflects the very sun off her body! It’s pretty cool, to be honest.
Celestia is one tall horse. If my lovely steed is a bit more than six feet at the withers, then Celestia is a shire horse! She is a head and a half taller than Starlight, and I don’t even think I could lift my head up to look at her comfortably!
“Hello, Starlight. Glad to see you made it here in one piece. You don’t have to bow anymore, you’re an alicorn!” Celestia says, before noticing me. I am a bit tempted to panic, but Starlight tilts her head back at me and smiles.
“Just be yourself, Noah. Celestia is a nice pony. Heck, even I like her sometimes!” She says.
“You must be the human Twilight won’t shut up about. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can climb down now, I won't bite!” Celestia says, chuckling. I take it this is yet another prankster pony? How fun!
“Noah, climb down. I am with you, sweetie.” Starlight says. I take a deep breath and slowly dismount her, lifting my leg over her barrel and climbing down from her left side. I take an extra minute to remove my teacher’s bridle, and I fold it up and place it in Starlight’s saddlebag.
“Your name is Noah, correct. I am Princess Celestia. Goddess-Diarch of the sun and overall fun pony to be around, the honor is mine!” The alicorn reaches out her golden-white hoof, and I shake it.
“One quick question before we get into coronation specifics, Starlight, but is your human friend adjusting well to Equestrian life? He’s only been here for three days, and he’s stuck here now!” Celestia notes, sitting down on her haunches, which gives Starlight the idea to do the same.
I decide I can answer on my own behalf!
“Actually, your realm is lovely, and these three days have been splendid on all accounts! Not to mention that Starlight is a very good friend, and having a pair of wings to carry you around is an added plus!” I chuckle, as Starlight gives me a “hoof five”.
Celestia smiles at both of us, clearly proud of something.
“I take it you two are getting along swimmingly. I actually lied, I have one more question. What is this unorthodox activity you are doing with Noah involving a bridle?! Lieutenant Cloud Jumper told me you are a deviant now, Starlight. Is that true?’
Starlight blushes. I guess she doesn’t want to say that I ride Starlight in two ways?
“Well, even when I was a unicorn, I wanted to help Noah get around Equestria faster. Ponies are taller, stronger, and more durable than humans, so I offered to be a “steed” for him.” Starlight explains, to which Celestia spawns a notebook and begins writing everything down.
“Go on, Glimmer. Your Princess is listening.” She coos, eager to learn more.
“Well, a “steed” in Noah’s world is an equine creature similar to Ponies who carry humans around on their backs to assist them in their travels, in exchange for the humans giving them adequate food, water, and shelter. The only difference is that us ponies are sapient, and the other equines aren’t. So, Noah had to ask nicely if he could use me as a steed, and I was more than happy to accept. He’s a comfy one, at that!” Starlight says, putting a hoof on my head, roughing up my hair!
Celestia smiles: “Ah, so you need a bridle for balance, lest poor Noah falls off you!” She correctly deduces, finishing writing down her findings, before teleporting the journal away.
“You are to reenact this ritual with me one day, Noah. I find it fascinating. However, given that it seems a steed has an intimate bond with her…uh, what’s the term, Starlight?”
“Rider, Ma’am.”
“Ah, yes! With her rider, I best leave this activity to you two creatures.”
Celestia quickly changes tune, presumably to talk business.
“In other news, everypony in town is fawning over the news that Twilight’s student became an alicorn, and your coronation tomorrow will have over one hundred thousand ponies in attendance! My staff will deal with everything.”
With that, a unicorn mare with a broom cutie mark and brown fur trots by, and teleports my marefriend’s saddlebag and saddle away.
“Squeaky Clean will take your wares, and you can sleep in the guest suite with your human student. I trust you know the way, Starlight?” Celestia asks, to which my friend nods.
“Perfect. We will reconvene in forty-five minutes for dinner. Princess Luna and Twilight will be in attendance, and I have a hunch my sister will love your student, Starlight Glimmer!” Celestia says, quickly embracing my friend, before promptly teleporting away.
“Well, the castle is quite big, Noah, and Squeaky Clean took my saddle. A little walk is good for you, Noah!” Starlight chuckles, before she leads the way to the guest suite. I promptly followed her, making our way up the four large flights of stairs. I am surprised that Starlight Glimmer isn’t really winded, given that she was fatigued after we left Twilight's castle a few days ago. Maybe her new wings gave her a “super-bod”?
Finally making our way up the final flight of stairs, I see a wooden sign that reads “Guest Room” hanging on the pink door of the suite. Starlight’s horn lights up, opening the door, revealing a stunning room!
This suite is bigger than anything I have ever seen in my entire life! The bed is huge, there is a giant grand piano, a liquor cabinet, and a massive box of chocolates! Honestly, I could easily get lost in this room. It’s almost as big as a warehouse! Maybe it’s over 5,000 square feet?
“Sounds about right, Noah. Now, it seems that Squeaky Clean already brought our stuff up here, and there is a magical notebook on the bed. Take a peek at it!”
Using my new magical abilities, I carefully drag the notebook to me, and I hold it in my quivering hands. It has a unicorn head on the cover, which looks a bit cartoonish, in my opinion. It’s a spiral notebook, too, which is an added bonus. Spiral spines feel awesome!
“This notebook has magical properties, my little rider. If you write down something in it, in any language, the kitchen will prepare the meal for you! I ordered plenty of extravagant meals with this nifty tool. It also has settings for clothing, optimal bath and shower conditions, and even climate control! Imagine making the room hot or cold at a whim!”
Do I tell my lovely steed that we have this on Earth? Nah, that would spoil the fun.
“You're saying I can write something in English, and the kitchen will make anything I want to eat for dinner?” I inquire further, to which Starlight remembers something.
“Not anything, Noah. Ponies are herbivores. We don’t eat meat, but we do eat dairy products. No meat, sorry buddy. I have a feeling your race is omnivorous, is that right?”
I nod. “Yeah, but meat is expensive where I grew up, so I only had it on special occasions,” I replied rather quickly. I am impressed that I came up with a reply that easily! The real question is: what do I want to have for supper in a magical pony castle?
“What does Princess Celestia usually eat? I don’t want to seem like a pariah, although being a human in a pony world is being a pariah, anyways.”
“Cake.” Starlight replies, trying not to laugh.
“Cake. Just Cake, that doesn’t seem-.”
“It’s her biggest delicacy. Of course, she eats other foods, but there is always cake at Celestia’s table. If I was you, I’d ask the kitchen to make a pasta salad! It’s what I am going to be having. As for beverages, we’re not in Ponyville anymore, so cider is hard to come by. Celestia does like tea, though.” Starlight says, prying the magical journal from my hands. Spawning a pen, Starlight writes down her order:
PASTA SALAD WITH EXTRA CUCUMBERS.
1 POT OF EARL GRAY TEA.
She then hands me the notebook and I take a minute to think about what I might want. I get a bit creative. Taking the magical pen, I write down something that I would be quite surprised for Equestria to have:
FALAFEL SANDWICH, WITH HUMMUS, TAHINI, AND ISRAELI SALAD.
1 POT OF JASMINE TEA
1 OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIE
It took no more than one second after my order to be written down for the page to magically glow.
“This is the fun part! Watch!” Starlight exclaims as the words begin to float off the page. I see both food orders float in front of our eyes, before vanishing, presumably to the kitchen. This is a really cool magical item. I wonder what else it could do.
I get a mischievous grin, and I reopen the notebook and write down something else:
1 LILAC ROSE
I don’t show my friend what I wrote down, and as the page glows, I pull the notebook towards my chest. I felt something leave the page, and I almost crushed it with my chest! Quickly putting the book down, I grab the mystery object and hid it in my shirt, before Starlight wonders what mischief I pulled.
“What the hay did you write? You better not have ordered ten dozen pizzas or something! Those poor ponies in the kitchen have to make everything you write down!” Starlight scolds me before I reveal the secret item I conjured.
Her maw drops, and she tries not to cry. A perfectly formed lilac rose is being held in my hand, and I gently place it in Starlight’s mane.
“W…why? Why are you being so…nice to me!” Starlight says, almost crying on the spot.
“Well, what can I do? You are my marefriend, my steed, my teacher, and my friend. I need to do something to say thank you. Friendship Lesson #101: Always show your gratitude towards a good friend, especially when they least expect it.” I recite, remembering the textbook Starlight gave me that first day of Friendship School.
Starlight uses magic to tackle me to the massive California King-sized bed, and pins me down with her hooves.
“Hop on, stud. I’m taking you for a joyride.”
Oh boy, I activated the love juices with that one! Wish me luck! Wonder how dinner’s going to go?
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This entire story could be summed up in these words: The paragraphs, by themselves, can be taken VERY out of context
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That says a lot about the reader...A good writer puts multiple meanings into words and phrases.
For example, "surfing" can mean the physical act with waves or using the internet.
#TheMoreYouKnow!
Not even a official first date and he already doing good in the romance department. Though I do hope he makes some other friends.
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Patience, my little pony. All will be done in due time. Obviously, Noah won't be loved by everypony, since that's impossible, but he will make a few friends.
Trixie isn't his only friend. Shining Armor is on the potential friend list, along with Princess Luna.
I'm really enjoying this story! Keep up the good work.
I am getting a bit concerned about Starlight's continuing habit of reading Noah's mind without consent. It is an abuse of her magic power, and her power in the teacher-student dynamic. If it keeps up, it is a tragedy waiting to happen.
What about the Equestria Girls universe?
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I actually didn't think of that!
I will be more careful with her magical hijinks in future chapters.
Next chapter, expect some Lunar fun at dinner!
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Maybe...it could be the first job of the Princess of Justice; to restore her teacher's Friendship Program. Maybe Trixie will become a steed for Noah's sister?
you got the song stuck in my head now, damn YOUU!!!
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Do you understand?
Unless you are referring to the concept of equality under the law, then equality doesn't manifest naturally. Someone who is better at growing food and ornamental plants is not going to be equal to a soldier or mercenary as far as talents and aptitudes are concerned.
Which is something that communists Starlight tried to do in the show. She removed the cutie marks from the villagers and made them only as talented as the least talented of all of the villagers living in Our Town. And because they retained their memories of when they were talented and remembering the better life they had before, the dissatisfaction of the equality concept as presented by Starlight was growing amongst the villagers.
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Exactly!
Maybe Noah will give waifu Glimmy a copy of "Atlas Shrugged" by the end of my fic.
I knew it! I bucking new it! This was gonna end in hotel sex!