Prologue
CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP, PONYVILLE: YEAR 5AT (After Twilight)
Well…I have to say that my life has been rather interesting since I was redeemed by my (relatively) new teacher, Twilight Sparkle. I don’t regret holding steadfast to my beliefs about equality, but…maybe preventing everypony from showing their talents wasn’t the best approach. If I get a second shot at establishing my commune, I’ll make sure “each to their ability, each according to their needs.”
Wait! I am losing focus. I was called to Twilight’s castle today for a special meeting. Is it a Friendship Lesson? Is it a new threat to Equestrian security? Maybe an alicorn promotion?! I don’t know, but I am rushing to get all of my stuff together to be at Twilight’s castle posthaste! Frankly, this flat that she managed to get for me in Ponyville isn’t that bad. It’s a 3 and a half bedroom apartment, with good magic connection and a two minute walk from Sugarcube Corner. On a good day, it’s a 10 minute walk to Twilight’s, but it’s very windy today, so I am factoring that in, as well.
Twilight doesn’t let me teleport anymore…she says that I need to get in touch with the basics of Friendship and day to day living before I can do that. In a way, I get that, but I don’t like galloping in the wind! It messes up my mane, which takes forever to maintain properly. I do have to count my blessings, thank Celestia that it’s only windy and not raining…not to mention a reasonably warm 18 degrees today (that’s 64.4 Fahrenheit for you Fillydelphian ponies who use the Imperial units!). The only thing that still bugs me is that most ponies have very good memories. Even though Twilight took me on as her personal student, most of Ponyville (and probably Equestria as a whole) still think of me as a ponicidal maniac who will steal their cutie marks! I won’t…that was part of my plea agreement! I get these weird stares of apathy and contempt from everypony I see. I don’t blame them. Friendship is Magic, but trauma still exists! It doesn’t go away overnight!
Now, finally making my way to the moat of the Castle, I show the two pegasi guards my photo ID, and they salute the sentry pony at the watchtower who lowers the gate. You’d think that in happy-go-lucky Ponyville that the security would be lax, but I guess not! As the wooden gate/bridge lowers, I continue to think what could be so important to warrant a special meeting with Twilight, let alone an additional meeting at that. Her schedule is so busy that this must have cost a horn and a hoof to arrange!
Finally trotting along the bridge to get inside, I am still amazed at the majesty of this castle. Apparently, it spawned out of a chest after Twilight and her friends did these friendship quests, defeated this guy named Tirek, and prevented a cataclysm! To be honest, I find most of Twilight’s friends to be rather annoying (especially Rainbow Dash…she reminds me of Trixie with her ego and braggadocio!), but I have learned to keep my muzzle shut about stuff like that.
The castle is rather large, with four flights of stairs to arrive at Twilight’s private study. I actually like that room in the castle the most…I like quiet places where I can just read, think out loud, and be away from the cacophony of life! I must admit that my frequent use of teleporting in the past has left me rather out of shape, so I am quite out of breath by the time I get to the top of the stairs. Taking a few moments to compose myself, I trot quietly and promptly to Twilight’s study, knocking on the acacia wood door, engraved with her cutie mark on it.
“Starlight? Is that you? One minute, I’ll let you in!” I hear Twilight say in her rather shrill voice.
“Y…yeah, Princess…it’s me!” I replied promptly.
“Please…just Twilight. I am fed up with all this formal crap. You’re my student, not my subject!”
And with that, the door magically opens. The study is rather quaint, fitting for the Friendship monarch’s erudite nature. Even though her castle has over 250,000 books, I could spot at least 2,500 here, in at least fifteen different languages! Not to mention a bean bag, Spike’s basket, and a giant mural of herself with Princess Celestia when Twilight was a filly at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. It also would make sense that at the front of her desk, next to the picture of herself with the Elements of Harmony, that there is a labeled sign that says: “Princess Twilight Sparkle. The Buck Stops Here!” A bit crass, but I respect that in a pony. Twilight is wearing her reading glasses, looking at an old scroll which seems to be written in Ancient Ponish. Is it a footnote from Starswirl’s journal? I’ll ask later.
She lowers the papyrus scroll with her magic and looks me straight in the eye with a warm, genial smile, the one a parent would give to their foal.
“Good morning, Starlight Glimmer! Did you sleep well? Do you want coffee? I am more than happy to provide coffee if you need it!” Twilight says, taking a sip from her own mug that says “Friendship or Bust!” on it. She uses her magic to pull out the faux-leather chair opposite her spot at the desk, inviting me to sit down. I do so, noticing that my teacher likes her cushions rather firm. If it were my office, they would be soft and squishy!
“No, no thank you, Twilight. I have an addictive personality, so I avoid things like caffeine! Caffeine is tame compared to power…and I was addicted to that. I am a cold turkey pony!” I reply, to which Twilight seems understanding about. I mean, it was only a whole year ago when I dueled Twilight in Cloudsdale, time traveled to undo her legacy, and did a bunch of nasty things that I regret!
“That’s alright. Shining Armor can’t go a day without Cadence making him a coffee…I can see how it’s addicting. Now! To business!” She says, using magic to promptly summon a giant notebook that I swear is at least 1,000 pages long.
“Um…Twilight? What is that? I could have sworn that you told me that most of Friendship Lessons were done in practice, not in theory. Did you change your mind? Is there a new kind of magic we need to cover?” I am not trying to annoy her, but I am a bit confused by this change of pace. Twilight is usually very consistent, so did something bad happen? I hope I’m not the reason for it!
She tries to hide a chuckle, but I am not a foal! I can see her doing that.
“No, no, no! It’s nothing like that. It’s actually a brand new kind of Friendship Lesson that I spent months trying to convince Princess Celestia to give me the funding for. You see…even though you are my first student, I find that your progress has been rather…astonishing, to say the least. I don’t know if you are just trying too hard, or if you just have a knack for it, but both Celestia and I think you’re all caught up! No need for me to teach you anymore!”
Wait…that’s it? I had to come all the way here just to hear Princess Twilight tell me I graduated from her program? Why didn’t she just write me a letter or something, like she usually does to notify me of the formalities!
“I…I’m a bit confused, Twilight. Last week you said we still had loads to cover before the Grand Galloping Gala-”
I was gently interrupted by Twilight using her magic to pass me the giant notebook of pages.
“And I meant it! I am giving you your first student. You see, I have been trying to convince Celestia for years to open an actual institution for the study of tangible Friendship, but she told me I needed results. Now, I have results! Want me to keep going?”
Uh…sure? I mean I don’t really have a choice in the matter.
“Go on, Twilight. I am always interested in learning something new! What new Friendship tactics can we use? Will we be able to convince nonponies to make friends with Equestria?”
Twilight nods, signaling that I was on the right track; however I am still lost as to where she may be going with this. Using her magic, she opens the first page of the giant notebook, and shows me what appears to be another planet!
“Is…is that a planet? What does a planet have to do with Friendship?” I ask innocently, unsure of where my mentor is taking this. Twilight has a lot of crazy ideas, some of them work out while others don't. Better keep my muzzle shut and my ears open!
“This is another planet. I don’t know what it’s called, but it is very similar to that other world I’ve been to before, where Sunset Shimmer lives. Do you remember that?”
To be completely honest, I have been so overrun with Friendship Studies, trying to clean up my act, and making a few bits to be able to eat that I haven’t been paying as much attention to the “Mane 6”’s escapades as I should be. I shake my head, signaling that I don’t remember this other world.
“It’s okay if you don’t, Starlight. The creatures that live in this world, based on the very little data I’ve procured, are like those in Sunset’s dimension. They are in dire need of Friendship!”
Hold on…my leftist senses are tingling. This sounds like an imperialist ambition on behalf of Celestia, under the guise of Friendship! I know my history, I know what happened when Equestria made first contact with the Seaponies and Kirins! It…was not cupcakes and rainbows, to say the least!
“Isn’t that imperialistic, Twilight? What happened to letting everypony do what they think is best for themselves! Do we really need to manifest destiny?”
Twilight looks at me with a stink eye, annoyed that I turned something she deems wholly nonpartisan into a political affair. It’s not my fault that I am a learned pony (but then again, so is she!).
“No, silly! We’re not going to annex a whole planet with 8 billion creatures! All I want you to do is find one of these creatures, bring them to Equestria of their own free will, and teach them the Magic of Friendship! I’ve already found the perfect candidate!”
Well…I am not totally convinced. There could very well be ulterior motives to this idea, but I am not in the mood to make Twilight mad at me today, so I let her continue explaining this radical plan. She casts a projection spell onto the wall of her study, right on top of her Cutie Mark logo. It takes a minute for her spell to buffer with her purple magic, but after a few tedious moments, I see something…sad!
I don’t know how to fully describe it, but I see something that I’ve never seen before! It looks like a minotaur, but…just the fact that this thing is bipedal! It doesn’t have any fur, it stands upright, and this particular specimen is a male. It seems this fellow is just past his adolescent stage, so he’s probably around my age, late teens!
“Princess, what are these creatures called?” I ask my teacher with a straight muzzle. She puts her forehoof to her muzzle, trying to remember what these creatures are called.
“I think they are called…”he-you-mains”. Maybe that’s an older pronunciation of the word, I am not sure. What I do know is that this one is very lonely and needs a friend! Preliminary reports show that he was bullied his entire life and has a social deficiency…Kinda like me before Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville!”
That’s right! My teacher is “neurodivergent”. I remember Maud Pie telling me about that one time, since she has the same problem…hyperfixation with stuff, lack of natural empathy, and uncanny intelligence!
“So…this “He-you-main”, is alone, sad, and needs a friend, right? How exactly am I supposed to help in that regard?” I ask Twilight, eager to be proactive for my first potential student.
Twilight takes a deep breath, and then continues.
“I don’t know much about these “He-you-main”s, but I know that if we don’t help this one…we’ll have blood on our hooves! My data shows that these creatures are like ponies: they need social interaction to survive! I assume that you know the universal translation spell, so communicating with this young one might be easy for you, and-”
I raise my hoof, with a question, even though it interrupted Twilight’s train of thought.
“Hold on, how do I even get to this new alien planet? Is there…a spell, a portal, a spell to make a portal, or-”
Twilight interrupts me in turn, with her own reply:
“Well…the way that I got to Sunset’s dimension was through a magical mirror. I just changed the frequencies on that mirror to this new planet. It shouldn’t be that hard. So: That’s the task. Find this “He-you-main”, teach him the Magic of Friendship, and hope that he teaches it to his species! Seems simple enough. No imperialism at all, he can even refuse this offer, although it would be stupid to do so. You leave in 30 minutes! Royal edict!”
30 minutes?! To meet a stranger and make him my friend? How is this even going to work? I…I don’t think I am up for the task! Regardless, I keep my muzzle shut as Twilight explains the minutiae of this mission. I take notes, and Twilight is nice enough to pack me a saddlebag for the trip. She teleports the two of us to the room where the Cutie Map is, and I see a rather large, pink mirror, swirling with magic.
“So…this is the magic mirror? Where am I even going to show up?” I ask Twilight, who smiles.
“I think the “He-you-main” settlement you will appear in is called “Mount-ree-ale”, but I am not sure. Good luck, and may Celestia be with you!” Twilight says, embracing me with her wings!
Well…I don’t really have a choice in the matter, and Twilight is eyeing me with determination to see whether I am going to go through with this. Slowly but surely, I trot towards the portal, putting one hoof at the glass, seeing it ripple.
“Come on, Starlight! I know you can do it! I have faith in you!” Twilight says, encouraging me to keep going. I take a deep breath, and walk thro-
AAAH!! My entire body feels like it’s being ripped apart, atom by atom! It hurts so much, and I feel like spaghetti! At least there’s no blood! If my body was tangible at this point, I would have closed my eyes, but…I couldn’t! I felt weird for a few minutes, but then, I was launched out of the quantum rift into a giant pile of snow!
Brrrrr! It’s so cold! I don’t even see the portal, so I guess I am stuck here for now! I try using magic, and for some reason, it works! I give myself more suitable attire for the cold, and crawl my way out of the snow pile. As I reorient myself, I see a “He-you-main” staring at me holding a shovel, which he promptly drops onto the floor in sheer terror. I am 6 feet tall, and this fellow is a wee bit shorter than me, maybe 5’9?
“Sweet…Merciful…Crap!” He says, running inside his house and locking the door.
Wait! This “He-you-main” is the same one as the picture Princess Twilight showed me!
Time to give someone a friend!
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I always find it really insulting that those stupid ponies ( Even Twilight ) can't pronounced our own species name correctly.
How do they like it if we keep insulting them by incorrectly pronouncing "ponies", or keep calling them small horses on purpose. ( Gets a taste of their own medicine. )
This reminds me a lot of the universe "The Conversion Bureau", it is curious that in none of those stories does any version of Starligh appear
11137148
Well... it's a running gag because nopony's ever been to Earth before! They'll learn soon enough!
11137156
yo how did my fic appear in Spanish? That's awesome!
11137148
To be fair we already knew the word “ponies” while ponies have never heard of the word “human”
it’s similar to being told a word in a different language, you have may have never heard it before, and it may take a few tries to pronounce it right
11137172
Well, it's a very annoying running gag that I keep seeing in any other "Human in Equestria", Displaced, Crossovers, or any other types of stories that has Humans/Humanity in them.
11137148
How do you know you're pronouncing pony correctly?
Because you've heard it many times before.
If the actual word was टट्टू (the Hindi word for pony), pronounced roughly "ta-ticka-choo" it might take you a few times to get it right. It's included as much for verisimilitude as anything.
a bit blocky text here and there, but nothing too bad. Ima keep reading for more
This sounds like a bad idea.
I would also probably be terrified if a large colorful horse appeared out of nowhere and clothes materalized out of thin air.
I want to preface my comments with a compliment. I can feel the enthusiasm and genuineness that you have for this story. I can see that very clearly. And I appreciate you putting your emotion into this as clearly as you have so far (even though I'm only on chapter 1).
Some criticisms:
Not everything needs an exclamation mark. It sort of makes the ponies seem like crazy people. Exclamations should be used to emphasize a particular point. Using them constantly makes it seem like everyone is yelling at each other all the time.
"Hold on…my leftist senses are tingling." - I hope you are not trying to make a political innuendo here, but if you are you just lost half your audience.
Characterization seems a lot more like the ponies are children instead of adults.
Overall, again, I can see that you have some genuine passion here. Keep going and things will improve so long as you keep working at it!
11230856
Thanks,
the later chapters are better, I promise :P
11230856
Good point. This AU has Starlight as a late teenager, while the Mane Six are canon age.
Maybe it's my own adolescent mindset and wording coming out onto the page? I am 18, after all :)
I resent that. There's just no point in wearing it on the sleeve. When someone gets a paper cut, instead an "oh, my god, are you all right" fuss, just toss them the hydrogen peroxide and a bandaid.
Other common misconceptions:
Discomfort in looking people in the face- Nope, no discomfort. Just usually forget to unless consciously trying.
Discomfort in crowds- That's partially true. But it's not the crowd that's uncomfortable so much as the background noise. When you can't hear yourself think, and can't hear someone talking to you because your hearing is too sensitive and filtering out the rest is difficult, it's just annoying. I quite like sitting in the coffee shop area of the mall, watching the skylight crepuscular rays move, or the fountain, or the big ceiling fans spinning. As long as I have earbuds in.
Remember that Autism Speaks is a heinous, eugenicist hate group. Teaching parents that their kid being non-communicative or stimming means they are broken is despicable. Being at peace in one's own mind, untroubled by mundane external bullshit is a tremendous gift.
11231045
Hi,
Autism $peaks is a horrible organisation. I agree with you. Autism is complicated, and layers of nuance are needed. I am sort of dumbing it down for a general audience, while also listing how my own autism manifests.
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Further, later chapters deal with neurodiversity. Stay tuned!
Technically, she's both. *mudbriar vibes intensify*
Idk why, but I read that with Stolas' voice when he greets Octavia.
Sure Twilight. Talk of this young man "teaching it to his species", and there's no imperialism at all.
But seriously: That line, although parody, reminds me of something I don't like from the later seasons. The later seasons had the idea that Ponies were the friendship master race; it was the Pony Mare's Burden to teach the other races friendship. And that's absurd! Frundship is universal, it crosses boundaries of race, gender, religion, etc. There are people of all races who know friendship, and people of all races who need to learn friendship.
This might be a stupid question, but is this a reference to communism? "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs"?
11252068
Yes, yes it is.
TCB much?
Coltcius and Marenheit
I love this fic!! I have read everything posted but am commenting on chapter one because I have to reread it again already,, so good, I love how you write neurodiversity!
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I'm glad you like it.
I have no idea why I stopped, but I am much busier now than I was in 2022.
I might reboot the fic