//------------------------------//
// Chapter 15: 2001, An Equine Odyssey 
// Story: Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?! 
// by Clockwork2003 
//------------------------------//

Parties suck. They are really boring, you have to answer a lot of stupid questions, and more often than not, the food isn’t really good. My rider probably agrees with me, at least, I think he does? The entirety of my coronation festivities were both boring and stressful. Pinkie Pie broke out into a bunch of silly musical numbers, joined by the rest of the Elements. I find these to be cheesy and pointless. Noah thought it was rather cute, so I guess it’s not that bad, right?

Twilight also took the liberty of roasting me during the coronation party. I didn’t think the Friendship pony had it in her to roast somepony, let alone her pupil! Regardless, it seems that there is only one joke that everypony makes about me, and it’s about my leftist beliefs. It gets really old, really fast. Why didn’t they say anything about my kite interests? My toxic relationship with Sunburst before I met Noah? There’s loads of material there! Come on! At least I can take a joke. I know that Twilight did her roast in good taste, so I wasn’t insulted. Noah, on the other hoof, was livid.

“Starlight, why is Twilight being mean to you, and why is everypony laughing?” He asked me, as I quickly remembered that sarcasm is one of the many things Noah doesn’t fully grasp.

“It’s called a roast, Noah. A roast is when people poke fun at you in good taste, and while they can be mean, it’s always done in good taste!” I tried to explain to him, as Noah tapped his chin, wondering what exactly a roast is.“They did this at Twilight’s coronation, too; so I’ve heard.” I tell him, as he wonders why a Friendship deity is acting out of character.

On a different subject, I’ll give my rider credit for abstaining from any alcoholic beverages! Someponies got rather tipsy on cider and other boozy drinks! Rainbow Dash tried to fly upside down, and the paramedics had to wheel her out on a stretcher. I’d wager she had a blood-alcohol level of .12! I had two shots of cider. It was my coronation party, after all. I am mediumweight, so I didn’t collapse on the floor of the venue with my drinks. All of my “Equality Party” meetings were at taverns, so I’ve built up a tolerance!

The festivities ended around the time Luna had to raise the moon. Since my blood alcohol was too high to fly safely, Noah and I were teleported to Celestia’s castle by Princess Luna. She seems to really take a liking for him. I get the feeling her affection towards him is more maternal than romantic, so I don’t care. Those two were hitting it off during the party, talking about books, magic, and even astronomy! I am glad Noah made a new friend. It warms my heart.

Anyways, that was last night. We both went to bed completely drained of energy, falling asleep in a few short moments. I don’t remember anything else that happened last night. Seriously. Things did get better this morning. I woke up at around 8:00 AM, and I got into the shower to cool off my muzzle. Sometimes, ice-cold showers can restart your systems. Today, it did just that. I feel much better already!

Finally getting out of the shower, Noah had already written his breakfast into the magical ordering journal, and he ordered me Prench Toast and orange juice. He did tell me it’s called “French Toast” where he came from. Languages are fascinating. The two of us eat our breakfast in a state of serenity. Noah is a bit of a klutz, because he had the crumbs from his French toast on his shirt, and he had to keep getting up to clean off his clothing! Aw, he’s a cute one, that’s for sure.

I hear a loud knock on the door, and I quickly use a spell to open it. Of course it has to be Trixie. Didn’t she get zapped back to Ponyville already? Why is she still lingering around? Whatever the azure mare is here for, it better be worth it.

“Good morning, Princess Starlight! Trixie has been informed by Princess Twilight that she is to be your Chief of Staff!”

What? Trixie, the “Great and Powerful”, as my Chief of Staff? I don’t even know if she has any organizational skills. She could be just as deficient as my rider, for all I know!

“Wait, you have staff now, Glimmy?” Noah asks me, quickly putting his orange juice box down, looking at Trixie.

“Indeed she does, Noah. Indeed she does. Trixie will also be more than happy to hang out with the Princess’ rider. She likes him, and wants to be his friend!”

Noah smiles, glad that his acts of kindness towards Trixie have paid off so far. “Sure. Speaking of Friendship stuff. I was told you’re working at the school. What’s your job?” Noah asks, genuinely interested in hearing what this annoying mare has to say. Sometimes, I wish I was as naive as him. He hasn’t had to put up with the “Want it, Need it” fiasco the two of us went through a few months back!

“Trixie isn’t totally sure what her job is at Twilight’s school, but she knows that it isn’t a position with humans. She thinks it’s with the Kirin, but only time will tell. Bon Bon, on the other hoof, is working with the human pupils. She specifically asked to!” Trixie says, quickly answering Noah’s question. He gets up and goes to look for the “Magic for Derpies” book that he brought with him. I take it he’s got a question for the showpony? He’ll ask later. I have more important things to deal with!

“Trixie, if you are my Chief of Staff, who else is working for me?” I ask my new employee, whose horn lights up in pensive thought. She’s silent for a few long moments, before finally coming up with something to say.

“Well, Trixie is your Chief of Staff, Noah is your rider and pupil, Bon Bon is your education liaison, and Maud Pie is your "neurodiversity" specialist! Trixie also heard that Celestia is working on allocating funds to build you a castle. You’ll probably have more staff there, too.”

“No castle for me, Trixie. You know full well what I think on the matter.” I say sternly. I don’t want a castle! I want to live in a normal house or flat like any other pony. I can’t just say I am in favor of equality and then live a life of luxury?! Noah would tear me to shreds for that, right?

Trixie laughs at me and then smiles a way only the showpony can muster. “It doesn’t matter. Princess Celestia insists that all Princesses of Equestria have a castle to call their own. You don’t want to make a poor impression one day after getting crowned, do you?” She says smugly. Darn, that sun despot! I want to run things my way, but if I have to use the wheel in order to break it, then I am more than willing to play along for now. 

“Right, right. I’ll deal with the castle situation later. Do you have any information on the Friendship School, Trixie?” I ask her, as she spawns a notebook and hands it to me. I skim through the pages, and I see some notes from Twilight regarding the portal to Noah’s planet.

Twilight’s Log:

It seems that my recalibration of the Mirror Portal is finally complete! It took a few days, but after finally factoring in the Friendship particles, I was able to stabilize the quantum tunnel! I have a fully functional wormhole between “Earth” and Equestria! I will go and find Starlight Glimmer as soon as I am done with confirming my findings.

Well, this is excellent news! Noah can finally go back to “Mount-ree-ale” and pick up his sister. I don’t mind having a second rider for a few minutes. If both Noah and Rebecca are under 400 kg total, I can carry the two of them! I think that’s reasonable, right?

“Well, where is the book pony, anyways, Trixie? She wrote that she’d come to find me as soon as.-”

“I am done with confirming my findings! I meant it!” Twilight says, scaring the living daylights out of me by teleporting into my suite. Why didn’t she come through the door like a civilized pony? I don’t get it! I get spooked easily!

“Twilight, what the feathering buck is wrong with you?! You scared me half to death!” I shout, wings emoting my frustration vividly. She sighs, clearly annoyed with my reaction. “Look, Glimmer, I want to get this darn Friendship School up and running ASAP! I fixed the portal, and I sent official letters of invitation to human governments!”

Noah’s face turns completely pale. He looks like he’s about to faint, or worse! Well, not or worse, he can’t die, right? He’s fused with me, rider and pony, one soul!

“You, you made first contact, Twilight?” He asks, his voice and body shaking horrified at Twilight’s announcement.

“Well, of course, I did, silly. How else are we going to gain consent to allow for the migration of humans between worlds! The letters were actually received warmly!” She says, clearly pleased with herself.

Trixie seems happy with this revelation because she is bouncing up and down with glee. “Trixie is very happy you made first contact! Do you know if you’re going to receive a reply?” She asks, eager to hear more from her former archrival in magic. Twilight takes a minute to compose herself, before answering Trixie’s question.

“Well, all replies are programmed to be sent to my castle in Ponyville, so I don’t know if anyhuman wrote back to me. We can go to Ponyville now if you want! I can program the Mirror Portal now to any coordinate on Noah’s planet, for easy access and retrieval. We can pick up his sister, and then show her around!” Twilight exclaims, fluttering in the air. She must have been working like a nut to finish all of this during my coronation! 

“Trixie wants to come, too! She wants to have a pet human, or “rider”!” She says, quickly grabbing her saddlebag with magic. Well, if Trixie is my Chief of Staff now, I am almost obligated to bring her with me on official Princess of Justice business.

“Sure, Trixie, you can come. Just, promise me on the Oath of the Two Sisters that you won’t buck anything up. Be nice to the human female, okay?” I say sternly, to which Trixie recites the aforementioned oath: “Trixie swears on the Manes of the Sun and Moon that she will not do anything foalish while on official Princess of Justice business!”

Making an oath on the Two Sisters is a very serious decision. It can be used in court, and violating it is tantamount to perjury! Whenever a pony makes an oath on the Two Sisters, regardless of what race of pony they are, a spell is cast, placing a golden ring on their front hoof. If the oath is broken, it teleports the pony to a detainment center, where they are then arraigned for perjury. There hasn’t been a recorded case of perjury on the Two Sisters since Twilight was crowned as the Princess of Friendship!

“Noah, get my bridle and saddle. We’re going to Ponyville to pick up Rebecca!” I say, half-excited and half-terrified. I don’t know if this other human will like me at all.

***

“Noah, get my bridle and saddle. We’re going to Ponyville to pick up Rebecca!” Starlight says. I can’t tell if she’s excited or terrified. All I know for sure is that I am excited because I miss my little sister to bits. I've only been gone for a bit less than a week, but it feels like an eternity since I’ve seen her. I am more than happy to go to the coat rack in the suite and collect my marefriend’s riding gear.

Trixie looks at the gear more carefully and then proceeds to ask me a question.

“Noah. Trixie has a question. Do you know if wearing this “riding gear” hurts a pony? If Trixie is going to allow her Great and Powerful back to be used for a human’s traveling needs, she needs to know if it’s uncomfortable!” She asks, a bit unsure and curious about the comfort of the saddle and bridle. Starlight trots over to her and places a hoof on her shoulder. “I find it comfortable, Trixie. Noah is a rather light human, at a measly 77 kilograms. Do you know how much your trailer weighs?” Starlight asks her, trying to do some mental math.

Trixie would have answered the question, had Twilight not interrupted this rather silly conversation.

“Trixie. Shut your muzzle and hold still. I am zapping you to the Castle of Friendship. One, two,..”

Trixie yelps, and is then struck with a mulberry purple teleportation spell, sending the showpony to Twilight’s Castle of Friendship. I chuckle, and my mare chuckles as well. Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at Trixie’s reaction.

“Silly showpony. Not expecting anything until the last minute. I did tell her to hold still. Now, Noah put those silly clothes on Starlight, and let’s roll. I want to see this “Earth” place for myself!” Twilight says, eagerly waiting for me to equip Starlight. I give Starlight her saddle, and she quickly puts it on. Taking a minute to adjust the straps, she then opens her mouth and lets me put the golden bit inside. I’ve secretly wondered what it feels like needing to bite something constantly for prolonged periods of time?

It doesn’t matter that much. I am just curious. I finally secure Starlight’s bridle, and Twilight leads the three of us to the corridor on the fourth floor. Starlight has been using this corridor as her personal runway!

Starlight looks at me, giving me an affectionate look. “Well, I don’t have all day, O rider of mine. Hurry up and-.”

I get it, I get it! I put my right foot into the faux leather stirrup and pulled myself atop Starlight. 

“What did you say about expecting things until the last minute, Twilight?” I say smugly. Twilight laughs. “You two are a cute couple. I’ll finally concede that. Follow me, you two loveponies!” Twilight says, galloping towards the open window and taking off. I know a signal when I see one. I gently press Starlight’s sides with my feet and urge her to begin our voyage.

“Let’s go pick up my sister, Glimmy. Giddy up!” I say, flicking my mare’s bridle.

Starlight sighs. “It was funny the first few times, Noah, but it’s getting old. Just tap me with your feet and we can go.” She says, beginning to gallop across the corridor to gain speed for our takeoff.

“Sorry, I thought you liked it, Starlight,” I say, feeling a bit remorseful for infantilizing my lovely teacher.

“No biggie. Just, be you, okay? I love you, and you need to hold on because I am going to take you for a fun ride!”

Well, that was a quick change of pace. Starlight spreads her wings, and I promptly grab the reins, gently pulling them upward. Starlight launches herself off the balcony, before flapping her strong wings. And we have liftoff! In a few brief moments, Twilight and my steed are both at a reasonable altitude above the cloud line. Twilight isn’t flying as fast as she usually does, probably to make things fairer for Starlight. She did just get “alicorn’ed” within the past week!

“So, “Rider of Justice”, tell me what other Friendship Lessons you’ve completed since we’ve last spoken?” Twilight asks me, aching to hear about my studies.

“Well, last night, while Starlight was half-drunk from her coronation party, I tried Lesson #5, being empathy. I don’t drink, because it doesn’t go with my medication. I tried to “put myself in somepony else’s hooves” and wondered how Starlight would feel being inebriated. I made sure to take care of her while she was out of it.” I reply, making Twilight smile.

“You’re going at a quick pace, kid! I’m proud of you. I think you’ll graduate from this program as a stellar friend. Bonus points for picking up a mare, too! I’d be bold enough to infer that most autistic humans don’t have romantic relationships, due to social cues being difficult?” She asks me. Well, Twilight is autistic as well, so I am surprised she doesn’t know the answer to this question, herself!

“Bingo, Twilight. I am one lucky human. I have a friend, a marefriend, a free ride, and-.”

Starlight becomes rather warm. I feel her heart beating slightly faster than normal. “Come on, Noah. You’re riding me. When I’m warm, I can’t flap my wings as easily. You don’t want to crash, do you?” She says, quite stern with me. I haven’t seen my marefriend in this mood before. I don’t like it, not one bit. “Sorry, Starlight.” I say, quite guilty about making Starlight upset. 

I am quite surprised at how practical riding alicornback is. We’re averaging at 160 miles per hour, and it only took ninety minutes going from Ponyville to Canterlot! Factoring in the crosswinds and the jetstream, I think we’re going to arrive in Ponyville shortly!

“Twilight, I have an alicorn biology question for you,” I ask the Princess of Friendship.

“It better be appropriate. I don’t want to hear about your bedroom jaunts with my student!” She says cautiously. Huh, I didn’t even think about that. I wasn’t going to ask anything lewd!

“No, it’s about wings.” I quickly reply, putting the Princess at ease. I could have sworn I heard her mutter “Thank Celestia”.

“How fast can an alicorn fly? I assume that since alicorns are a mix of all three pony races, they have augmented abilities from each?” I think this is a reasonable question. Today isn’t the day I am going to push Starlight to her limits, but I am a bit curious to know how fast she can fly. I wonder if Twilight knows?

She takes a minute to think about my question, before replying. “Well, Rainbow Dash is the fastest pony in recorded history! She broke the sound barrier, making a Sonic Rainboom!” She says, still somewhat stunned that a pony can fly that fast. “Well, given that the sound barrier is 767 miles per hour or 1235 kilometers per hour, I’d say that’s the outside limit for a normal pegasus pony. That is, assuming they train like crazy their whole lives. It would probably only be for short bursts. Even Dashie gets tired.”

Wait, ponies can breach Mach 1? This planet is awesome! That still doesn’t answer my question about alicorn flight, but I am going to put that on my back burner right now. I see Ponyville up ahead, and Twilight means business right now!

“Put a pin on that question, Noah. We’re here. Hold onto Starlight, we’re descending now. You can use my perch over there.” She says, pointing a hoof towards a tower attached to her castle. I steer Starlight leftward, and she banks accordingly aiming her body towards the tower. Twilight followed in her stead.

“The Mirror Portal is still in the room with the Cutie Map, you two. Starlight, you know the way.” Twilight says, quickly descending from the heavens. Starlight descends as well, but more slowly than her teacher.

“I don’t want you to throw up, Noah. That was a 55-degree angle! She’s nuts!” Starlight says, quite astonished by her teacher’s feat. Finally landing on the tower, I dismount my friend and remove her bridle, putting it inside her saddlebag. The two of us follow Twilight through her castle, on our way towards the portal.

“I made a few modifications to it, Starlight. Humans can walk through the Mirror now without needing to ride a pony. Taking Noah’s DNA sample when we first met certainly made things easier. Hurry up! We’re only two flights of stairs away from the Cutie Map!” She says, quite loudly at that. 

It’s been a few days since I’ve been in Twilight’s Castle of Friendship. It’s much more colorful and vibrant than Celestia’s estate. There’s more purple, pink, and even the occasional yellow hue! If Starlight is getting a castle, which would be funny if she did, I wonder what colors it would be? There better be at least one room that’s blue! We finally made our way down the second flight of stairs. Twilight turns left, using magic to open a purple wooden door. The three of us enter the room, and I am met with the very room that greeted me to Equestria.

“Does this room look familiar, Noah?” Starlight asks me rhetorically, pointing around the room towards six stone thrones. Since I have more time and I am not as stressed, I notice that each throne has a logo on it.

“I recognize your Cutie Mark on the head throne, Twilight. I take it all of the thrones are your friends’ Cutie Marks?” I ask her, as she quickly nods her head.

“Exactly. I am a bit disappointed you haven’t met all of my friends yet, but I am sure we’ll get to them soon enough. We’ve all been busy. Even the Mane Six have to be by themselves sometimes, getting work done. As long as we still keep in touch!” She joyfully says. Starlight taps me on the shoulder, and I face towards the other side of the hall; opposite the Cutie Map. I see the very Mirror that brought me here. It’s not glowing with magic, so I just see myself in its reflection. My baby blue eyes look brighter than usual, and my pale skin and brown hair look just the same. I probably need to shave as well, come to think of it!

Twilight casts a spell, bringing a small box into her hooves. It’s no bigger than a tissue box in size, and it has a label on it that reads REVISED MIRROR PORTAL TO HUMAN WORLD.

“This box is the console for the Mirror Portal. I made some upgrades to it, as well. You can plug in any coordinate on “Earth” and it will take you there. I put in the coordinates for Noah’s house, so you’ll end up back where you started."

Trixie gallops through the door, panting heavily. “Trixie heard you land on the tower, so she came right down! Why did Trixie get zapped? I spawned at Sweet Apple Acres, for crying out loud!” She sounds rather cross, but Twilight doesn’t seem to care that much. 

“You made it here, didn’t you. Now, go with Noah and Starlight through the portal to his house. I have to pony the controls. Got it?” Twilight says, casting a spell on the box. This spell gives the box a red button, which she promptly presses. As soon as her purple hoof leaves go off the button, the glass Mirror begins to warp. I take it that means the quantum tunnel is online?

“Mirror Portal is online and stable. Good luck, you three. Bring me Rebecca! Tomorrow we will pick up our students!” Twilight says excitedly. Trixie bounces along, being the first pony to enter the portal. She screams once she realizes that it atomizes the traveler and turns them into spaghetti! It didn’t hurt the first time, but it did feel weird. I got motion sickness from it, nothing more than that! Starlight laughs out loud. “Poor Trixie. She’ll be fine.” My marefriend says, becoming the second pony to walk through the portal. She does so with more poise than Trixie; especially since she didn’t scream during the transfer!

Well, time to go home to Montreal, and pick up my sister! I gently tap the portal with my right index finger, and I feel the glass wiggle around me. I take a deep breath and walk through. My entire body is atomized instantly, yet I still maintain some level of consciousness. All around me are squiggly lines, colors, and weird shapes. There is also this ringing noise that I hear, that sounds like a bell chime. At least I went through this portal before, right?

After two long, tedious minutes, my body rematerialized, and I am spit out of the portal, right in front of my house. Starlight and Trixie are already wearing winter clothing, probably due to magic. Starlight notices me and zaps me with a spell. I am now wearing my winter outfit! I have a really nice coat that can withstand up to -40 degrees, and warm mittens. 

“Glad to see you made it out alive, Noah!” Starlight says sarcastically, knowing that I’d make it out alive.

“I could say the same about you and Trixie. I am quite glad that it’s only cold today and not snowing. I remember a blizzard we had around two weeks ago, and we got over thirty centimeters of snow!

“Woah, Trixie thinks that would have been so cool. At least today is more like a Winter Wrap Up!” Trixie says, making a comparison to something I’ve never heard of before. Leading the way, I make my way up the stairs of my duplex slowly. They are a bit icy, so I need to exercise caution. The last thing I want is to slip and break some bones; especially if I have to go back to Equestria. I ring my doorbell and wait.

“Trixie thinks Starlight and Trixie should hide until Noah introduces us.” She says, teleporting herself and Starlight out of view. I see them hiding near the garage door, so they are not going anywhere far. That’s good! I hear someone come closer to the door, and it finally opens.

Oh, Rebecca. I missed you so much. Your blue eyes, your cute face, your brown hair, so neatly braided. I feel amazing, knowing that these benevolent horses brought me back to see her!

“Hi, Becca.” I say, as my sister lets me into the house. She is a bit confused. What’s gotten into her?

“Where were you for almost a week, Noah?” Rebecca asks me, both curious and livid. I must have left Earth while she was still in school, come to think of it!

“Uh, business trip?” I say, to which Rebecca slaps me on the face.

“You’re a horrible liar, you know that! You should know better after that asshole abandoned our family and lied about it!” She says, correctly pointing out that lies are not my forte. I really should know better, given my family’s history, but the truth is crazier than the lie I came up with just now.

“If I tell you where I was, you won’t believe me,” I say.

“What, where could you have possibly been that I wouldn’t believe. It’s COVID, Noah. The Canadian border is closed, and you couldn’t have gone farther than Vancouver.”

I crack a smile, and my hands start to glow.

My sister’s face turns beet red. I must have startled her! I wasn’t trying to do that.

“Holy shit, my brother has superpowers!” She says, quietly freaking out. Using my empathy lesson from Starlight, I try to “put myself in somepony else’s hooves” and realize that Rebecca must be scared shitless. I am not trying to scare her, but I need to tell her the truth slowly…ah, screw it. I’ll just show her.

“Rebecca. Put on your coat and boots. The truth is outside.” I ask, being quite frank with her.

“The truth is outside? Come on, Noah! I am sixteen years old. You can tell me the truth here, can’t you?” She asks, trying not to pout. She was much younger when our father left us, so she is more directly impacted by the consequences of his actions; as it formed a fair amount of her personality.

“I promise, on Mom’s name, that I am telling the truth. Put on your jacket and boots, and open the goddamn door!” I say, quite cross with my sister. She sighs and goes into the coatroom to get her winter wear. She finally comes back to our vestibule, wearing her dark purple winter coat, with matching white mittens and a purple tuque. 

“If the truth isn’t outside, Noah. I am not going to speak to you for a month! I don’t like jokes, and Mom was scared half to death after you left! You didn’t even tell us where you went!” She says, opening the door and letting herself out. Quickly walking behind her, I close the door and begin to walk down the stairs.

“Just follow me. I promise the truth is right here. At the garage door, in fact!” I reassure my sister, as we finally make our way to the bottom of the stairs. Turning left onto the sidewalk, my heart is racing. I’m introducing my sister to two talking ponies, one of whom is my girlfriend! I just hope she doesn’t take this poorly!

I finally turn left again, entering the driveway, and the two mares wave at me.

“Hey, Noah. Where’s your sister?” Starlight asks me, as Rebecca turns the corner and freezes.

Trixie trots up to my sister rather quickly and scans her from head to toe.

“Hello, human girl. This is the Great and Powerful Trixie speaking. Trixie wants to be your friend!”

My sister screams at the top of her lungs. Typical. I just hope her debriefing will go well…