Starlight:
Sweet Celestia…this is certainly something that I didn’t anticipate would happen! I was this close to officially opening my school with Princess Twilight, and all of a sudden, this poor excuse of a pony shows up and declares, without any proof, that my sacred institution of learning is now defunct and nonexistent?! Who the buck does he think he is?!
Trixie is busy screaming at this “Chancellor Neighsay”, and her rider Rebecca is trying to rein the showmare in. I am tempted to intervene and prevent Trixie from making an already delicate situation worse, but I have more important things to do right now; such as talk to my own teacher and figure out what the buck is going on.
I walk over to Twilight and immediately begin emoting my frustration with her. “What. Just. Happened?!” I scream, clearly irate with the current situation, and the dozens of creatures waiting to begin their lessons of Friendship. She looks around, before trying to come up with an adequate response.
“...I don’t know. I am going to ask this dolt who he thinks he is, and why he’s infringing on your jurisdiction!” Twilight says to me sternly. Obviously, she was being quite loud, because the “Chancellor” heard what my teacher said, and trotted over to the two of us, with a smug look on his muzzle. He looks at me with contempt, before respectfully bowing in front of Twilight.
“Madam Twilight, I do not close your institution out of malice, I can assure you of that.” The grey unicorn begins, before conjuring a papyrus scroll and handing it to Twilight. She accepts the document, and quickly analyzes it, before coming to an awful realization. As good as I am at reading muzzles and determining the situation, I am a bit stumped when it comes to Twilight. What did she discover that is so damning?
“As you can see, Princess, I am using the hoofibuster to hold up your “experiment”, because my constituents in Appleloosa are concerned that the instruction of Friendship to these…”nonponies” would be a great risk to national security. I must represent my ponies in the Horseshoe, and I am up for re-election around Nightmare Night…”
Ah, yes, the “Hoofibuster”. An archaic mechanism in the Horseshoe that allows for a minority government, and prevents key legislation from getting passed. When invoking the Hoofibuster, only a 60% supermajority can override it, rather than a simple 50+1 majority. Granting the right of suffrage to mares was hoofibustered back in Granny Smith’s day, and only the passionate testimony she gave moved the Horseshoe to ratify the Mare’s Voting Act.
“You’re joking, right?” Twilight says, stuttering and still somewhat ignorant of the ways of Canterlot politics. She might be a bookish mare, but political science is my wheelhouse, not hers!
“I’m afraid this jerk is in the right here, Princess. He has to represent the needs of his constituents, as wrong as they may be. Chancellor Neighsay is a very clever pony.” I say, conceding that his use of the “Hoofibuster” was rather intelligent on his part; holding up Twilight’s agenda in the Horseshoe.
“You should have known better, Princess. The executive authority an Equestrian Princess holds is very limited in scope, and you are actually in breach of the Equestrian Constitution! I am President of the upper chamber of the horseshoe, er…the “Bridle” as it is colloquially known, and half the entire Honesty caucus is in agreement with me. You’re in for a long, legal challenge, milady.”
My own rider is carefully listening to what this unicorn pony has to say and keeping his thoughts to himself. Since I can read his mind, because our souls are linked, I know he’s incensed and is on the brink of acting out. I quickly send him a telepathic message, urging him to “shut the buck up”, and keep quiet. He nods and tries to calm Trixie and his sister down.
Twilight is so horrified and offended that this unicorn pony interrupted her sacred agenda that she almost begins to cry. Princess Celestia, who was sitting at her own chair for the opening ceremony, quickly teleports to her prized pupil and embraces her with the Princess’ regal, swanlike wings.
“I’m afraid the Chancellor is correct, Twilight,” Celestia whispers to her with consolation. “When I banished Luna one thousand or so years ago, there was almost a revolution to remove me from power. I changed the system of government to a constitutional monarchy, and Chancellor Neighsay must perform his civic duty. You know I agree with you on this matter, but we must use the proper channels of the courts to solve this problem.”
Celestia releases her student from the embrace, and Chancellor Neighsay bows out of respect to the supreme monarch.
“Your Majesty, as much as I am in reverence of the Sun, I must sincerely ask you why you didn’t prepare your pupil for the complications of government?” Neighsay asks, trying not to be too rude, but still poignant. Celestia sighs, and comes up with a reply.
“You’ve known me for twenty-five years, Neighsay. You know I am not the best at foresight. Besides, Twilight’s mandate is for Friendship, and there hasn’t been a legal challenge to that since the Second Seaquestrian war seventy-five years ago. I’d wager you were not even alive by then.” She chuckles, quickly approaching me.
“Starlight. I know your proclivities lie in the political sphere. I can assume to trust you and your rider to aid Twilight in her testimony?” She asks me. I quickly nod, zapping my rider over here to reply to Celestia’s request.
Quickly reorienting himself, my human boyfriend nods and smiles at the Friendship pony.
“With pleasure, Princess. What are we going to do in the meantime with all of these students? They’re probably waiting to learn, and some of them I’d assume to be quite stressed!” He asks. Twilight quickly teleports away and begins to deal with that problem that Neighsay just created.
Celestia laughs and pats Noah on the head with her front forehoof. “Twilight’s on her way to deal with that right now. I trust you, and I trust Starlight. Go assemble your team of friends to aid Twilight, and I’ll make the necessary arrangements to set up Twilight’s testimony at the Horseshoe as soon as possible. Good luck, Princess of Justice!” Celestia says, quickly teleporting away, leaving Twilight quite distraught, and the Chancellor very smug.
“Just to be clear, Princess, I harbor no ill will towards you whatsoever; but I must carry out the wishes of my constituents,” Neighsay says, before teleporting away. The massive padlock that he magicked onto my school looms over the clear Ponyville sky, and most of the ponies and creatures in presence were up in arms! The dragon delegation immediately flew away in disgust, and some of the griffons began arguing loudly with the pegasi royal guard.
Twilight is really, really upset, and her five friends immediately make their way toward her to comfort their friend. As much as I care for Twilight, I am more concerned about the neurodiverse human students, who are now being neglected over partisan politics! I need to provide Justice for them, posthaste!
***
Trixie (The Great and Powerful)
You’re kidding me, right? If Trixie’s most Kind and Powerful ally got shafted by partisan politics, and her teacher, too, then what the buck is Trixie going to do to fix it? The human atop Trixie is very irate, grabbing the soft and powerful mane and trying not to yank out the hairs.
“Trixie, what the actual hell is wrong with this pony?!” Rebecca says, spurring her Powerful mount into a gallop to find allies. Trixie has known Rebecca for quite some time, and she hasn’t ever seen this human be so cross. The interruption by Chancellor Neighsay is not something that was expected by anypony! Right now, based on what mental waves Rebecca is emitting, she is looking for Lyra and Bon Bon, since those two mares are also on the “dream team” Starlight comprised.
A few short moments later, we approach Lyra and Bon Bon, who were sitting closer to the back of the makeshift arena. Each pony was sitting next to a human; Lyra sitting next to the music prodigy Anastasia, and Bon Bon sitting next to Noah’s mother. Rebecca dismounts and approaches her mother, clearly upset about the events that just transpired.
“Ma, this is NUTS! How are these ponies so racist? This is going to create a PR nightmare back on Earth, and the US ambassador is already flipping his lid! He just went back through the Mirror Portal to brief the President. Equestria could get sanctioned, humans prevented from coming here, and so much worse! This is so, so bad!” Rebecca says, extremely alarmed by Neighsay’s actions. Trixie has been in a few pickles before, so she might be able to provide some empathy to these humans? Besides, if she was able to befriend Noah, then comforting more “normal” humans will be a breeze!
Cape flapping in the wind, the Great and Powerful Trixie is in full Empathy Mode! “Look, Ms. Weinstein. Trixie doesn’t know anything about geopolitics, or law, or…anything serious; but she does know about Friendship…er…sort of. She trusts that your son and the Princess of Justice are combing through the Equestrian law codes to help Twilight with her testimony! All will be well, and Chancellor Neighsay will lose this pointless scuffle!”
Might as well embellish, this is something Trixie is very good in, after all. Showponyship is her thing! Lyra is very, very mad, and her horn is alit brightly with lime green magic, of the strongest emotional caliber.
“Bon Bon! What the feathering buck is wrong with this Neighsay guy? First, he Hoofibusters same-pony marriage, and now, he’s preventing these poor human and nonpony students from learning Friendship. What is up the poor pony’s tail? Buck, we’re still in the lawsuit to get our right to marry!” Lyra says, tears streaming down her face. The human girl she befriended, who seems somewhat antisocial, hugs the musical mare and strokes her mane.
“Lyra…poor, poor Lyra. I am so sorry about you and Bon Bon. I don’t know how to fight for our rights, but I know that, in time, the right thing always comes to fruition, but it could be a long fight. Noah and Starlight are two very smart creatures, and I am sure they’ll help Twilight Sparkle win her case!”
Lyra begins to cry, even more, touched by the human girl’s empathy. “Thank you, Anastasia, I’m touched by your kindness. I am sure Twilight will get everything under control, and we’ll be able to teach you and your species Friendship.” Bon Bon nods, agreeing with her marefriend, and smiles.
“It’s true, everypony. The most important things always come true, but nopony said it’s easy.”
Trixie has a feeling that Noah’s mother, Ms. Weiss, would have said something next, but Twilight teleported back into view and had a very sad look on her muzzle. Trixie wonders what’s on the pony’s mind? Pinkie Pie bounces along, with a few human students walking next to her, enamored by the pony’s cheerful demeanor.
“Hi, guys! I just showed these three human kids my party cannon! It was so fun, and-.” Pinkie was promptly interrupted by Twilight, who puts her wing in front of the mare’s mouth, shutting her up.
“Pinkie Pie! Not now! I have a Bridle hearing to prepare for, and Starlight and Noah are combing through every single Horseshoe document in Equestria, and even Princess Luna is helping prepare them for my hearing! Can’t you see how much of a crisis I’m in? Parties are fun, but you should focus on spreading your laughter with these sad nonpony students! I’m in a diplomatic and political NIGHTMARE!”
A political nightmare, huh? Perhaps Trixie knows a thing or two to ameliorate the situation? Trixie gives Rebecca a look, and she approaches her and hops on. “We need to go find my brother and Starlight. You’re Starlight’s chief of staff, and-.”
Twilight interrupts Rebecca, and picks the human up off Trixie’s back!
“Actually, kiddo, you work for me, not for Trixie. I need my communications secretary to help deal with the clusterbuck Neighsay started, and how to deal with this on Earth. I promise I won’t fly. You’re riding with me. Trixie…I need to borrow that.”
With a zap of the alicorn’s horn, Trixie’s own riding gear is transferred onto Twilight, and Rebecca hesitantly mounts the Princess of Friendship. “You sure you need to use me to solve this problem? I know how to use social media, but I don’t know how to-.”
Twilight bucks Rebecca back an inch on her back and puts the reins in the human girl’s hands.
“Shut up and ride me! I have important stuff to do, and making you my rider in this time of emergency is going to save both of our flanks!”
Twilight casts a spell, making Rebecca spur the alicorn, and the two of them gallop off back towards her castle. Trixie sees a lilac streak in the sky, so she assumes that’s Noah and Starlight heading back to her apartment. This day is crazy!