A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
#DealWithIt
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy

There are many wonderful, exciting and heartwarming stories to be told in the Winningverse.

This isn't one of them.

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

One day, Rainbow Dash notices something about Sunset Shimmer: she only eats salads, fruit, and non-meat products. So she decides to dare the former pony to try a meat product the next day at lunch. Little do they know what's on the menu that day...

Set in the Equestria Girls universe.

Pinkie Pie loves Nightmare Night. She loves dressing up, and she loves candy. Most of all, she loves pranking ponies. One year she goes too far.

Reading by CaptainBron3y: Pinkie Pie's Last Nightmare Night
Reading by Jennabun (PegasisterReacts): Pinkie Pie's Last Nightmare Night
Reading by AShadowOfCygnus: Pinkie Pie's Last Nightmare Night

Translation into Russian by Dark Room Collaboration

Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.

Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.

But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.

Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.

When Sweetie overhears a weird noise coming from Rarity's room, she decides to investigate. What she finds will change her perception of Rarity forever. Or not. And then her secret comes out. Which causes a cascade effects of secrets, each more shocking than the last.

A short little story I wrote because I was bored. This is what happens when I decide to put my own little spin on the whole, "Rarity is a marshmallow" thing.

I don't see what all the fuss about death is. Our princesses have been dodging it for over a thousand years. Who's to say Sweetie and I can't experiment a little? No, don't be ridiculous, zombies don't exist. Not yet, anyway.

[As seen on Equestria Daily.]

Applejack sells apples and Apple accessories. That includes iPhones now. Pinkie Pie buys one for three bits.

Edited/Pre-read by: Gemstone The Unicorn.

This story is a sequel to Petriculture

It's been several months since Pinkie Pie made a stunning admission about her past that permanently changed her relationship with her friends, particularly Twilight Sparkle, but life seems to have settled back to normal (well, normal by Pinkie Pie's standards, at least). However, when an old nemesis returns and ensnares Twilight in her influence, it's up to Pinkie to make things right.

This is the second story in The Petriculture Cycle. There is a TV Tropes Page for the entire Cycle here.

Cover image by Page Turner; "Princess Twilight" vector by Nianara.