• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

E
Source

~A simple tale told through the format of letters~

It's just a date, right? What could possibly go wrong? But when the scientifically-minded Twilight Sparkle deems it necessary to start writing letters to Pinkie Pie about it, bad approaches lead to misunderstood intentions, and it's up to Twilight to solve the problem herself.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 110 )

Bro. You're producing new stories faster than I can get around to reading them. Stahp.

Insta-like.

If only because I have already read the draft of this:trollestia:

Wow. Actual fluffy romance! I'm impressed! This was super sweet, even if I'm not nuts about the pairing. Excellent job.

2436278
I feel so dirty. =(

I'm really glad you kept this ending. Again another excellent fic to feel better to.

That slightly adjusted transition to Upset!Pinkie really works to keep the overall Pinkie-ness.

So happy to see you posted it! :pinkiehappy:

The Pinkie in this is perfect. Reading her letters actually makes it difficult not to hear it in her voice, which is a major accomplishment, IMO.

Very well done, especially the subtlety about 'tempting fate' and the plunger-sending attempt. Very Pinkie, and a very Twilight response. (Even Spike is IC, and he's not even writing the letters!)

If I were going to voice a single criticism, it's that Twilight comes off more stilted than usual -- but given the epistolary format, that does seem the logical way to show she's struggling with herself. She overcompensates by being more technical, by going into more detail, etc.

Dood. You are feature boxed. :pinkiegasp:

2436639
The clean one. Of course you wouldn't notice. :ajsmug:

2436671>>2436589

OMG It's actually up there.

Wow.

Thank you guys. Thanks to you all. Seriously. Everyone. ;_;

Omg. It's been a long road. Gettin' from there to here.

It's been a long time. But my time is finally here.

CAUSE I'VE GOT FAIIITTHHHH OF THE HEARRRRTTTTTTTTT
AND I'M SO MELOOOO DRAMMMATTIIICCCC~

No but, seriously. THANK YOU EVERYONE. :raritycry:

My first feature! :applecry: :fluttershysad: :raritydespair: :twistnerd: :unsuresweetie:

P.S. OF COURSE I NOTICED. I mean... mature? I... I tick no such boxes....

Please accept my apologies for the overly-formal tone in my previous correspondence.

One of the most Twilight lines ever written. :twilightsmile:

Well done overall, I kept giggling the whole way through.

2436199
Read faster =(
Also, prioritize. =3 :twistnerd::twistnerd:

2436469
I am happy to have posted it. Because it has led to interesting things.

2436545
Thank you! That is one thing I'm proud of and one of the very very few things I'm able to do. And thanks for the feedback. Honestly, I had to push it a little with Twilight into a little bit MORE socially awkward than normal. It's a stretch, but it was for the story. Glad to see it overall worked out, though!

2436899
Thank you! Glad it did the job. =)

2437043

It was one of those things that made sense in retrospect. (And the story's good enough to pull a reader along despite a possible initial sense of 'Twilight isn't being represented properly', particularly since Pinkie's just being as Pinkie as ever.)

Again -- bravo. Excellent work. :pinkiehappy:

Should have kept the comments I made in the gDoc in. Other than that, congratulations on the feature dude! You deserved it :twistnerd:

Who would have ever thought I'd end up reading another story by the author of the first story I ever read on Fimfiction. Let me tell you something, it's been a wonderful ride. Anyways, wonderful story and all that jazz and rock.

Only socially-awkward Twi would try to subvert that tendency by becoming more formal. The tone here is dead solid perfect.

What is this? Why

why it's fluffy Kitsu Romance

and I love it

Gods, I would be furious if I was Pinkie, I mean I know she already was but DAMN Twilight, SHUT UP! GODS, now I'm a bit miffed, I guess why she is fifth on my Mane Six list, and Pinkie is third, every one writes things a bit to long but the way Twi was treating Pinkie was BUCKED UP! You did seriously very, very, very well with your details though, you did a very great job and I'm so proud of you for such my friend but DAMN, Twi's one of those ponies who even though she does not mean to you end up getting bored or pissed off at her, and it's HOW SHE IS! Which is the sad thing....she needs to loosen up, Gods, this was such an amazing fic but got me pissed as buck at Twi:facehoof:

Though I very glad you got featured I'm seriously confused on how so, one of my fics has 72 likes and 29 dislikes and never got featured, another is 66 likes and about 14 or so dislikes, so I'm very confused on why a story as this with only 38 likes and 2 dislikes gets featured, sorry, still a bit miffed but seriously, you very much deserved your feature, I'm looking over your other stories now.

2439971
Primarily the site works on 'heat'. Whenever a story gets viewed or thumbed up or favourited, it gains an invisible number that helps to push it up the list of 'popular stories'. This number drops over time. Conversely, I believe if it gets a thumbs down it gets points deducted. Since it's about points over TIME, the idea is to get as many within a short span of time as possible. I reached the feature box purely by chance and didn't stay there for longer than a few hours, in which not too many other people read it anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

The point is, generating a steady stream of reads, not JUST the total amount. Keep trying, and keep pushing, and eventually it'll get there. Good luck!

2440040 OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH......now I get it, seriously though, I understand, thank you very, very much. I like your writing, what did you think of my comment? I shall look over your other stories now. Thanks for helping me out, I'm not so disappointed now....GODS I NEED SLEPP:facehoof:

2437201
Haha, if only fimfic had comments on allowed. It'd have made this fic so much better.

A bit... different, but better. =3

2437640
And thank you for the continued support, my bro! Many more stories to come, fo' sho'. Why stop at 2 stories? Make it... 8 MILLION! For that is how many stories I shall write.

Mmm hmm. :twilightsmile:

2438112
Thank you. I try! Glad it worked out, and in no small part thanks to all the feedback I got on the draft. Now I have to go prompt-trawling to find out what my next project should be...

THROW PROMPTS AT ME, EVERYONE.

2438690
Take that back. YOU TAKE THAT BACK >=(

2440093
Well, nothing else to say but that I'm glad you enjoyed it, I suppose. =) I didn't intend for people to get SO pissed at Twilight, for sure, haha, but it's every testament to a writer's ability to be able to elicit emotional responses in a reader, so I'm calling this one a success regardless. :eeyup:

At the very least the idea was to have Twilight start off as annoying, then be a bit pathetic, then later a bit sad as she desperately tries to repair the damage and turn into an emotional sack of potatoes.

But Pinkie's a lovely girl, and forgives easily, so let's let her happiness lead the way!

Oh come on Pinkie, you can't declare that you're going to train Twilight on this stuff and then throw up your hooves and stop talking to her in the hopes that she figures out the problem herself when she screws up the first time!

I'm not sure what it says about me that I empathize more with Twilight than Pinkie in this.

Grats on the featured box!

2440836
Well, I wrote the story for the empathy to be focused on Twilight so I think you did just right, honestly. The story is in most part about Twilight's personal redemption.

Also, shhh, don't poke holes in the logic! People'll see! :fluttercry:

Besides, she was gonna, but then, you know. Twilight started getting rude, and she got sad. That's how I worked it out in my head, anyway. She wasn't intentionally withholding from her. She was pretty upset too, but there's a lot between the lines left unsaid and up to interpretation. Guess that's the trouble of the letter format. =)

Thanks for reading, though! Appreciate the feedback! :twistnerd:

Comment posted by djthomp deleted Apr 17th, 2013

2440885 Ehh, it's not really a story logic problem, more of a "ponies are emotional and not purely logic driven" problem (which to be fair isn't exactly a problem) so I wouldn't worry about it.

2440997
I get you. It's more about how they acted more than what a perfect circumstance should have allowed, right?

jesus

this has way fewer views than it should.

Man you just... all the feels. :pinkiesad2:

Remember to add fics to groups to get attention, I added it to Twinkie but you can probably think of more!

2441341
Hey man, thanks for the help with that add! Yeah, I'm terrible at pimping myself out. Honestly, most of my fics suffer low readership. =)

That said though, if you like the feels-kick, I also recommend you check out Collide, even if you don't necessarily agree with the pairing. I'm also working on a major sad fic with Dash that'll be out soon, so thanks ever so much for the support and I hope to keep entertaining you!

2441535

step one is to go into groups, pick each tag from the fic, join them, and then add the fic to all of them. You won't get a huge number, but it'll be more than you're followers.

Also, seriously man... this is so awesome. I think you're getting a follow. :D

You should write TwiPie more often.

It is best ship after all.


Just sayin' :moustache:

2441586
I do feel rather dirty about joining groups just to toss my fic in though. It's just a thing. ^^; To be honest most of the group adds were done by anonymous people who were kind enough to do it for me. I'll see about finding some groups for this and future stories, too.

And I won't say no to a follow. =) But only if you want to, really! :twilightblush:

2441620
Omg you sniped me D:

Yes master, I will write more TwiPie. @_@
Did you read the current one though? It's different to the draft you read.

2441690
Yes, I did. I loved it more than the original. You built up the ending better in this version.

I liked the story up to a point. When Pinkie started ignoring Twilight and actively avoiding her even when she was sent pleading letters... that really turned me off. That was very cruel of Pinkie, and sadly a commonly used theme. Where Pinkie has all this insider knowledge on things and ponies feelings, but Twilight doesn't, and instead of truly enlightening her friend, Pinkie unreasonably expects her to also know things and if she doesn't then suddenly poor Twilight is cast as the bad guy. I've seen a lot of Twinkie following that theme, I wished this didn't. I hoped this Pinkie was going to be mature about things.

2442459
I apologize!
I'm going to admit right here and now that I am not an avid reader of ship fics, and I don't really know the conventions of the pairings that well. I seem to have stumbled into a cliche of TwiPie/Twinkie. I guess what I was thinking when I wrote this fic, or ... really, how I see Pinkie Pie in general is that she's more flippant with her feelings and gets affected more easily, and when she does she doesn't always do the 'smart' thing.

Of course, I never said that what Pinkie did WASN'T unreasonable, and Twilight was never put up there to be cast as the bad guy, as you state. She made a mistake, she was rude, and Pinkie reacted as any emotional girl would. As you might have noticed, once Pinkie finally replies she also admits to having acted like a child, and apologized in turn.

Again, I don't read a lot of ship in general and have not read any TwiPie before, so honestly all I did was write what I thought was logical. =)

But thank you for the feedback in any case. If I ever do another Twinkie/TwiPie I'll be sure to avoid this convention and maybe try for one where Pinkie is shed in a more mature light.

D'aww, Twilight's so adorkable here. :pinkiehappy:

Ehhhhh... I get what you were going for here, mate, but...

There's socially inept and then there's just idiocy. Twilight swung the bar all the way into the red part of the latter. It can only be funny up to a certain point.

2444033
Maybe because I think Twilight's an idiot. :pinkiehappy:

But nah, yeah, it pushes it, but it was just a conscious decision for the exaggeration of that facet of her. I get what you mean.

EDIT: To all Twilight supporters reading this - I love Twilight and she's not an idiot at all. Nope. I love her and please love her too and please give me thumbs ups.

Aw, that was nice:pinkiesmile:
I certainly liked the characterization in their writing:twilightsmile:
All the nicknames Pinkie has for Twilight was :rainbowkiss:
I need all the pet names! ALL OF THEM:pinkiegasp:
Joke and humour research...:pinkiehappy:

Seems like this could have all been avoided if Twilight didn't write a letter for the date:twilightblush: Letters are apparently sacred ground for school and business writing for her. I guess she just ranks the 'event' on the same level of importance as letters to the Princess. I doubt there would have been an evaluation for the date if they talked in person. Maybe it's similar to diary writing for Twi.

Pinkie's sort of a butt:applejackunsure: Ignoring Twilight even when Twi says she's never done anything like a date, or casual writing... Stuff that's 'common sense' socially, but is alien to her. Leaving her confused and guilt ridden for something she doesn't even understand. Though I guess the prospect of Twilight playing with her feelings is reason enough to be angry;;

Still, if Twilight can write off Pinkie's strange behaviour as 'Pinkie being Pinkie', then Pinkie can write off Twilight's confusion as 'Twilight being Twilight':twilightsheepish:
And then kiss and make up.:twilightsmile:
-Credits roll-

Waaaaall.

okay i have to side with Twilight here
Twilight clearly stated it was her first date and we know Twilight hasn't had many Friends in the past, so she made it a way she felt most comfortable with, a experimental way(heck she said herself that she doesn't see it as an experiment, just goes a experimental route). Then they go on a date and BOTH enjoy it(clearly stated by Twilight). Then Twilight told gave Pinkie a report on the date(okay faux pass i admit), and Pinkie starts to doubt that Twilight takes her seriously, fair enough
But then comes the Tie-breaker

But you just don't understand.

Don't talk to me until you do.

Sorry but this line and it's variations make me :facehoof: every time it's used, because it's stupid and non nonsensical.
one of the most important parts of a relationship is communication, so the idea of improving the relationship by not communicating is stupid. I don't know where it is from but this quote fits
'Fine then don't tell me what i did wrong, so i just keep doing it!'
So then for over a week she get's letters from Twilight where she gets more and more upset, and when she finally sends a letter where it shows she's at the bottom and most depressed. she gives a response which can be summarized as
'You may still not really understand the problem, but at last you learned your lesson.'
... seriously pinkie?:facehoof:

2445440
Hi Yobikir! Thanks for your honest feedback into the story. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, but I'd like to address one of the points that you made in regards to the direction I had decided to take this fic.

Although you say that variation of what is essentially "I don't want to talk to you anymore" is stupid and nonsensical (I'm sure you didn't mean non-nonsensical, because that would mean it makes sense, right? :scootangel:) it is a very real thing found in every day life, and I'm afraid that I wouldn't have wanted to go for the route of having Pinkie simply just fix things as they were.

Everyone in their life has been hurt before, has been angry before, and sometimes insulted to the point where talking is not an option for many reasons. Now, whether we mean it or not, or how long it lasts is an entirely different matter, but there have been times that we have sometimes said things that we might not want to have said, or done things we might not have meant.

Pinkie gave a natural gut reaction to being insulted.

The presentation of the story does not allow the reader to see what was going on behind the scenes, and have to fill in the blanks on their own. This is highly intentional, and is a feature of the forced perspective of the letters. Now, of course, I can't control the way you choose to interpret Pinkie's motives or actions, but all I can say is that certain interpretations could lend themselves to a more optimistic understanding of the fic apart from 'what is there'.

Remember also that the point of forced perspectives in letters don't necessarily tell the truth. People lie, hide, make mistakes and aren't as honest as 'god narrative', which directly tells the reader what's going on.

Again, the whole idea of the fic being presented in this way is for the reader to consider and muse on what might be happening off 'camera' based on the testimonies of what we call 'unreliable narration'. And if anyone wants to read it just as a casual 'on-the-surface' sort of story that's fine too!

Now, I'm not saying 'I'm right and you're wrong'. Not at all. I take the time to respond to you with this so that I understand your point of view, and you understand mine, and perhaps we both might not agree, but at least we leave informed.

Thank you for giving the fic a chance, though, and again, I'm sorry you did not enjoy it. :twistnerd:

2445526
well the point of "I don't want to talk to you anymore" is okay, i understand that when you are angry, you just want to go away.
My problem is with the reasoning of
"You made a mistake, but i won't tell you which, until you figure it out on your own'
EDIT: i never said i didn't enjoy this fic(i did), i just said that pinkie acted like a B**** imo

2445651
I see! Thanks for the clarification.
Well, that point is where the interpretation comes into play. :twistnerd:

It would be just as easy to say that the reason why Pinkie withheld her aid until waiting for it is due to her faith that Twilight would be able to come to a conclusion of her own.

I could also say that perhaps Pinkie decided that the best way for Twilight to understand it was to have her seek the answers herself, because sometimes people learn better if they have an internal reason rather than external influence.

OR you could just say Pinkie was too upset to bother, but also realised her baby-like behavour. She did mention she was acting badly in her reply, so there was conscious knowledge that what she was doing was not the best of best actions.

So, the point of it all was not to really focus on Pinkie's side of it. It's much more Twilight's story than Pinkie's, surely, and I left Pinkie's motives open to said interpretation because I'm not the kind of writer who likes to hand things over to readers. I feel the fun is in that exploration and what's between the lines, eh?

But hey, you've made a solid case, and if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't. In my head, as I was writing it, I theorized it would have gone that Pinkie was initially very upset and just didn't want to talk to Twilight, and she too was burdened by guilt for having done that herself. This led to her being quiet and not really knowing how to respond. Twilight's formal attitude acted as a sort of barrier in which Pinkie herself could not cross, and spoke to the other 4 about it. The others then told her that they'd help and guide Twilight along slightly, Now, we don't know what they told Twilight or anything, but what Pinkie was referring to by 'hoping for something to happen' was a letter that was approachable enough for Pinkie to steel herself to respond. The frog also helped, as gifts normally do.

Now again, all these elements are very hazy on the details and quite open to interpretation on purpose. But to me, one can either decide that Pinkie was BEING a jerk on purpose, or one can think a bit deeper and realize that disagreements like these are never really one-sided.

And I apologize for jumping to the conclusion that you didn't. Admittedly, your comment suggested that there were too many problems for you to have had enjoyed it, so I made the assumption, for which I ask for your pardon.

Thank you! :twistnerd::twistnerd::twistnerd::twistnerd:

This should also address 2444721 's concerns. Same thing, really, with Pinkie being a 'butt'. I encourage people to look beyond what's obvious and fill in the holes with rainbows rather than stone. =)

Mmm, good on so many levels! At first I had some doubts about your Twilight, but she's fine. Good as new.
*Pats your overly-formal Twilight some*

2446553
Oh, it's always fun to over-exaggerate the qualities of a character for the purpose of hyperbole, isn't it...~
:twilightsmile: <- Dorklet Twiglet

Oh Twilight...Always studying...:twilightblush:

2460093
Mmm yes... that's the follow up fic, surely.
That pie looks delicious, too.

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