I'm an irritating fangirl who also writes. A lot of my stuff is sad. I am sometimes overly sex-positive, so if you are sex-negative, I might have called you an elitist taint jockey. Sorry about that.
PRICING CHANGED FOR FUTURE COMMISSIONS. The first 4k is 10.00 USD. Every 1k after is 4.00 USD. (So 5k would be 14 USD, 6k would be 18 USD, etc.) The longer, the more likely I'll be disinterested, because my process makes it hard for me to write long things most of the time.
Slot 1: TAKEN
Slot 2: TAKEN
It's only short shorts but the prices are reasonable, I hope. Read the blogpost if you want more details. 
Feel free to send requests once the queue's clear again! 
[><] 200 followers
[ ] 500 followers
[ ] 1k followers
[ ] 10k followers
[ ] THE WORLD
[><] 10k story views
[><] 25k story views
[ ] 50k story views
[ ] 100k story views
[ ] ALL THE VIEWS
[><] get a story featured
[>< ] get sexy story featured
[ ] get sex featured
[><] get sex
[ ] FUCK EVERYTHING
my wife tells me I can bring joy to others
my wife says my words bring comfort
maybe I no longer believe the world is worth the risk of helping, because humans are fundamentally predatory.
so if the world fundamentally betrays you, what would make you want to share those things with them?
serious question. trolls and bullshit gets deleted and reported.
I demand the independence of woman, her right to support herself; to live for herself; to love whomever she pleases, or as many as she pleases. I demand freedom for both sexes, freedom of action, freedom in love and freedom in motherhood.
-- Emma Goldman
Deciding you can't do wrong is the first step towards evil.
-- Winston Rowntree
Me
My twitter
I'll read anything Cola writes, because the dark stuff always comes from a real place. -- Einhander
I'm pretty sure I'm that annoying fangirl who can't stop praising some of the writers on here, sort of the Scootaloo to their Rainbow Dash. (Only less cute than Scoots.)
I read almost anything. (The number of humanized or HiE fics I've read, I can count on one hand. Damn hard sell.)
I write . . . okay, let's be honest, I write a lot of tragedy, and I lean towards sad, dark, and romance. (At least lately.) I do include explicit scenes in some stories, and I even have one or two clopfics in the Gears Of My Mental Machine, but mostly I just want to write about what characters do and feel.
I'm getting back into producing good writing. 
Roger Ebert
I miss Roger Ebert.
I remember seeing him on television, telling me about movies I didn't know if I'd ever see, making me wonder about all of them. Little sponge for information I was those days, I was rapt. He was ranking them! I was fascinated by the things he had to say before I could understand most of them properly in a cultural context.
These are a few of his quotes.
When I am writing, my problems become invisible, and I am the same person I always was. All is well. I am as I should be.
That. That so hard.
I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.
A sentiment I agree with in general, and even manage to remember at times.
If you understand why "Kill Bill" is a good movie and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is not, and "Bad Santa" is a good movie and "The Cat in the Hat" is not, then you have freed yourself from the belief that a movie's quality is determined by its subject matter. You instinctively understand that a movie is not about what it is about, but about how it is about it. You qualify for "Bad Santa."
(emphasis added)
That's how I feel about art in general. It's not about what it's about; it's about how it is about it.
And fuck yeah, I loved Bad Santa.
my wife tells me I can bring joy to others
my wife says my words bring comfort
maybe I no longer believe the world is worth the risk of helping, because humans are fundamentally predatory.
so if the world fundamentally betrays you, what would make you want to share those things with them?
serious question. trolls and bullshit gets deleted and reported.
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3002801
Probably not, but if I ever get more mentally well adjusted it might happen. I'm guessing a 1/1000 chance, sorry.
hey cola-bubble-gum will they be a part2 in sweets for sweetie ?
2535110
Well, thank you. ^_^ I rarely come on, but this was a nice comment to find when I did. (I snuck back through the login door to read Naked Singularity again because it makes me laugh so much. I kind of needed a laugh.)
I hope I have reason to call someone an elitist taint jockey someday. It's just such a wonderfully unexpected phrase.
1852631 made it through two concert performances and another week of Lyfting. :)