• Member Since 17th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2019

Cola_Bubble_Gum


I'm an irritating fangirl who also writes. A lot of my stuff is sad. I am sometimes overly sex-positive, so if you are sex-negative, I might have called you an elitist taint jockey. Sorry about that.

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Comments ( 80 )

The sadness seemed a bit un characteristic for some of the ponies, but you have earned my up vote!

So emotional! I love it!

2530426

Thank you for the upvote!

AJ struck me as the sort to keep family grief in the family (even 'off-camera', so to speak), so I figured it was something she only shared with her brother. I probably could have communicated that she was dealing with the pain better overall, though. I appreciate the feedback! :pinkiesmile:

2530373

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

I cried some when I wrote it, too.

:pinkiesad2:

Very well executed. Short, sweet, and to the point, this story gave a very good portrayal of the guilt you feel after the death of someone close. Few errors, strong conveyance of emotions, and excellent characterization. 8/10.

That... was touching. :pinkiesad2:Wait a minute! I'm not supposed to have emotions! I'm a robot!

Fuck, CBG, I love how you write. :rainbowkiss:

that was touching
i was all like::raritycry::applecry::fluttercry::pinkiesad2::ajsleepy::fluttershysad:

Very touchingly done, and quite easy to empathize with the characters. Bravo. - Maha :ajsmug:

2530914

I appreciate this response a lot more than I can really manage to say. :raritystarry: I got pretty ruthless with the editing on this one, and I guess I got it right!

2530941

D'awwwww! I won't tell the robot police, I :pinkiesmile: promise!

2531027

I'm really glad you liked it :pinkiehappy:

:'( sooo touching.. i actually cried

2532187

I'm really glad you liked it :pinkiesmile:

2531449 Don't tell Sue, either. She'd throw me in a trash compactor if she found out.
Quote, what are you typing?
NOTHING! Absolutely nothing!

2532259

Nobot will know! I :pinkiesmile: promise! :pinkiehappy:

2532338 Oh, thank yo- was that a pun?

I liked it, but I do want to say that the bloodtype stuff just seems way over-the-top contrived to artificially increase the sadness. That's the one thing that draws me out of the story. The unlikeliness of it, and the fact that it was some rare mutation both parents had, and somehow they didn't pass it on to either kid. And the doctors know Mac and AJ's blood type without asking, and Granny knows their Dad had the exact same rare mutation.

Really all the references to blood types took me out of the story and annoyed me. Way too contrived. Otherwise, I liked it though.

2537657

I'm glad you liked it despite that. :pinkiesmile: It's a fair cop. (And I actually understood how unlikely such a thing was, statistically. There are mutations that can do that, but the odds are astronomical of two people getting married and having the same particular mutation. I played that one by Soap Opera Medicine because I saw no other solution. I figured Granny would know because one of them was her child, though.)

Originally I was thinking she'd kill herself out of grief, but I couldn't reconcile Winesap killing herself after AB was born.

2538002 Nobot? Really? That's what you went with?
...
...
...
Okay, I see how strange I have been acting. Disregard eeverything I have said in the previous two comments.
...
Hi! I'm Quote, the battle-recon robot! Who are you?

2538204

Cola Bubble Gum, writerpony. :twilightsheepish:

2538208 Pleased to meet ya.:pinkiehappy: Oh, and as long as you hang around me, you better watch the skies very carefully...:twilightsmile:

2559500

Happy to help with the feels! :twilightsmile:

2559779 DO MOAR! I think you're gonna be my source for sadfics for now:pinkiecrazy:

2559789

Awww, thanks! I probably will, but I don't know how soon. I'm really glad you liked it, though!

2559875 That was sooooooooooooo sad! :applecry: But also well written and super sweet. MUSTACHES! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

2585685

Thanks! I'll have to keep my spare moustaches on a plate.:raritywink:

2587474 Welcome. Keep up this level of writing and I'll be providing tons of mustaches. :pinkiehappy:

A great story indeed. Great characters. Great emotions.

2625026

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

Finally got to finish the story.

Interesting how you portray AJ's motive for being honest as an embedded past fear of lying. You could almost believe it as cannon.

Nice story!

2645690

My intention was to make something that could conceivably pass as canon, in this story. So I'm glad it seems to have worked out! Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

I almost forgot to read this fic. and I am glad I didn't. this was well done.

That...
That earned one of my rare faves. Congrats, you wrote a nice one here. That hit pretty well. You did a good job with the characters, the emotions they were going through, and it was well written enough that I could really empathize with each of the characters situations and emotions.

Well done indeed.

2720118

Thanks. :twilightsmile:

My biggest issue with this story is the Soap Opera Medicine (as another commenter pointed out.) Technically, it's not impossible, but it's absurdly unlikely. I wanted it all tied up in one big ball of guilt, and I couldn't think of another way.

I figure I get to use my Artistic Medical License now and then, but it still bugs me. :twilightsheepish:

2720140

I wouldn't be too worried about it. You're telling a story, after all, and everything stayed in character, which to me is more important than the hand of plot having something happen. Sure, it might be a little cliche, but there's a reason cliches are around: they work when used correctly. And here, I feel it works very well. It actually reminded me a lot of the film "To Live" (which if you haven't seen it is brilliant and will make you :raritycry: a lot), which is a really good mark on your part. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Used poorly, yeah it'd be a crutch, but I don't think you did that at all.

Nice job.

2720165

It bugs me out of a nagging MUST BE REALISTIC! itch I have, but I am very glad it doesn't detract from the story for most folks. Even the person who pointed it out to me said the story was good, and that they just had an issue with that particular thing.

And I know what you mean, about cliches and the reason they exist. I am endlessly amused by the way people post 'original ideas' on some of the groups for writers on here.

I'll have to check the film out sometime. :twilightsmile:

Brilliant dialogue.

2882594

Awww, thank you! :twilightsmile: I'm glad you liked it!

Man, that was a really good story! It was very well written.

3064264

Awww, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

That was really well written overall, but the whole "odd blood type because of a mutation that's not hereditary" and both parents happening to have it felt really really contrived.

Still, overall, good job. :twilightsmile:

3192712

Yeah, it's kind of the major flaw in the story. I couldn't see any other way to effectively make both deaths AJ's fault, and I needed them to be.

I know it's Soap Opera Medicine, but I saw no other solution, and still don't. The original hospital scene involved Winesap surviving long enough to say goodbye to her kids, and it was overall way more melodramatic. I knew I had to get rid of that, because the trauma of seeing someone's body versus the trauma of them simply being gone is different and I wanted that to be there, but I couldn't figure out a better way to handle killing Winesap.

I'm glad you liked it despite the flaws, though. :pinkiehappy:

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