• Member Since 17th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen June 2nd


I'm an irritating fangirl who also writes. A lot of my stuff is sad. I am sometimes overly sex-positive, so if you are sex-negative, I might have called you an elitist taint jockey. Sorry about that.


Everypony gets their cutie mark eventually, but eventually can be a long time.

(A super-sad Sweetie Belle story in the form of a note to her sister and a note to AB and Scoots. Teen for suicide.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 68 )

Sweetie Belle suicide note?
Nice. Many laughs have been emitted from my mouth.


I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while. It was originally a lot longer, a lot sadder, and way more maudlin.

I've promised myself not to write any more suicide note stories from now on. One was enough. :trixieshiftleft:

Hmmmmm.......damn, other then changing handful to hoofful and the fact that I honestly doubt it would take thirty something years and still never get a Cutie Mark, this was harsh, though not tearful, I love suicide, I laugh at it and have written it, it's a very good story, short though, so it could be explained much more, it's sad how even the Gods can't help her....damn, this was depressing but enjoyable:twilightsmile:

You might enjoy my story Suicide Letters if you like death.


My original idea for this was much longer -- Sweetie Belle as narrator, remembering seeing other ponies get their cutie marks, one by one, until she was the only one with no mark. I wanted to end it with the words 'I'm nothing.'

But that seemed unnecessarily long. Dunno.

Also thought about writing a follow-up funeral scene, but I don't really want to touch the discovery or the suicide itself. The funeral would be from AB's point of view.

2582653 We've got a mean and heartless user here!:pinkiegasp:
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! :raritycry:
Just joking!:rainbowlaugh:

2584113 No, you really should run. I'm fucked up in the head, my friends.

I say we feed it cupcakes and buy it dinner.


:pinkiecrazy: I say we make it cupcakes and eat it for dinner! :pinkiehappy:

2585546 I say we eat the cupcakes and make it for dinner. :rainbowhuh:

It wasn't really tear jerking. I think it should probably only have the 'Tragedy' tag and not the 'Sad' one. They are kind of incompatible tags...

I didn't feel connected enough to Sweetie Belle in this story to actually feel anything other than: 'Well, this is a tragic situation.' There wasn't much of a struggle n this piece since it was predetermined, right from the start, and I think that's what made this far less compelling than it could have been. I guess I was just hoping there'd be more of a conflict and struggle for Sweetie Belle, implied or otherwise.

It wasn't bad by any means, but I just didn't find it as engaging as I hoped it would be. Regardless, thank you for writing this.


A valid criticism. Originally I had pictured writing Sweetie Belle remembering all the things that led up to her suicide, ending with the meeting with Celestia, but I kind of felt like it'd be a cheap sort of stretching-it-out. I decided to cut to the ending, so to speak.

There's probably a middle ground in there that I could have attempted (perhaps a different version of Sweetie blowing up at Apple Bloom's foal) and if I ever get motivated, I might even try.

I'm glad you liked it to some degree, though. :pinkiesmile:

AS long as there's cupcakes and dinner in there someone, I'm happy.


:pinkiegasp: OHMYGOSH! BEST IDEA EVER! Dinner cupcakes! Dinner cupcakes!!! :pinkiehappy:

This story would explode further if you were to add another chapter in which Rarity comes home in time to see her sister die. Though that may just be my own sadistic nature, Rarity would absolutely break down during the event and the trauma would be...

Well... I can't be blamed for the sick pleasurable feeling slowly rising to the top of my spine.

This is a good story, the mood of hopelessness is rather pleasant, though I felt it was rather rushed, having read the comments I wish you had added some more melodrama, it is Sweetie Belle after all and she is very much like her sister. (Or tries to emulate her)

Perhaps from a differant perspective? Display the sorrow Sweetie Belle is feeling by writing it in story format rather than note e.g. Sweetie Belle is in the tub, her mind slowly becoming fuzzy, writing the note, keeping the slow death moment from being revealed by simply writing it off as discomfort to her mood.

Then BAM!

Sorry... I went off on one there.


I had considered writing a funeral scene from Scootaloo's perspective (or possibly AB's), but then I figured that'd just seem pointlessly cruel.

The idea of her writing it while she's drifting away, though . . . I wish I'd thought of that! :facehoof: I'm not sure I could have pulled it off, honestly, but it would have offered some definite options for more sad.

I had so many creepers at first


But seriously, this was a great story.



Glad you liked it. I'm half considering a story about some of those creepers and the 'blanks' they creep after.

*Rarity walks in*
"Sweetie Belle! I'm back"
Finds her and the note.........:raritycry:


Yeah, I almost wrote a second part which took place at the funeral. Poor Rarity. :raritydespair:

2710108 I do like this story I'm just about to read Mayflies :raritywink:


I was going to suggest it, but then I thought that would be dreadfully crass of me! :raritywink:

Spectacular title! I thought The Note was her cutie mark (a musical note), which was a powerful and painful irony when I got to the end.
Exemplary...and really sad.


I'm glad you liked the story. :twilightsmile:

(And don't tell anybody, but I think you gave me an idea. :raritywink: )

Please let me know if and when any alleged and unconfirmed:trixieshiftleft: idea that you may or may not have gotten from me:trixieshiftright: comes to a theoretical fruition. I should very much like to read it.


I absolutely will, and thank you! :twilightsmile:

Auuuugh! Cola! What have you done to me? :raritydespair:

Finally getting around to reading the rest of your work :twilightsmile:

You can't be serious.... First this one --> The Note and now this one. Next thing we know there is going to be a Apple Bloom one if there already isn't one.


I write sad things! :raritycry: It's kind of what I do.

The only thing I've written so far that wasn't sad was a nearly-no-plot clopfic. :twilightsheepish:

I'm sorry to say that the first 'The Note' the one by SonicRainboomGirl was more tear-jerking than this one.

Just because Scootaloo commits suicide as a filly and Sweetie Belle does it when she's wrinkly and old (jk). But both are for the same reasons, kinda.


Nah, it's okay. This was a rough effort. :twilightsmile: I know it's got flaws.

Actually, I found no flaws in the story. I just found the other one sadder than this one for aforementioned reasons. XD I don't even know what 'aforementioned' means. I just heard it from somewhere.


Well, you used it correctly. :twilightsmile:


Actually in the show you have adult blank flanks as background ponies. Usually Stallions. So it is possible to hit your 40's and never get your Cutie Mark. Although I would think that there would be support groups for Blank Flank adults. Since there are enough of them to warrant it.


:pinkiegasp: OHMYGOSH! BEST IDEA EVER! Dinner cupcakes! Dinner cupcakes!!! :pinkiehappy:

Is it bad that the first time I read it I heard it in Pinkie Pie's voice. Then the second time I read it after I put it in quotes I heard it in Morgan Freeman's?

Also :

1) I too would like to know when the story that Rustling Leaves gave you comes to fruition.


2) The Whole adding a part with Rares or the CMC survivors, would be wonderfully exquisite.


I will let you know, and I appreciate the input. :twilightsmile: I got the impression there was really no indication that cutie marks had a specific timetable, which got me thinking about this possibility.

Your welcome, and there isn't an exact time table. If you look at the List of Ponies. CTRL+F : no cutie mark . Brings up 15 ponies both Mares and Stallions who have no Cutie Mark. So that's at least 15 canon ponies who are adult Blank Flanks.


See, if I'd actually done some damn research, I could have fleshed that out more and actually had her talk about going to support groups, older ponies with no marks, etc.

Once again, I find I underresearched something. :unsuresweetie:



Twilight would be sad at you not researching things:twilightoops:. But honestly speaking :ajsmug:. There are alot of people IRL that either don't or can't go, or even don't know that support groups exist for what ever problem they have.

So it's entirely possible that its enough for ponies to know other ponies who are Blank Flanks, but not enough to know if there are support groups. Although those Blank Flanks [just like with the CMC] would gravitate towards eachother, and help one other. Although alot of smaller communities might not have that if there aren't more than one in that community.


I know that's the case, but what I wanted to show was that Sweetie exhausted all her options, all of them, absolutely. So it nags at me that I didn't capture it, in retrospect, because of this issue.

Which, I know -- the story's in the can, let it go. :twilightsmile: I can, mostly.


Although we can pretend that while Out of Story we know that those groups exist. I did give an out in story. That she basically lived in a smaller community, and had a good chance that she didn't know about those groups.

I mean, and correct me if I'm wrong. But she felt that others used her because being a blank flank was a novelty, she then grew old, had no job, no family of her own, no 1 Mare / Stallion [since the split of Stallions and Mares is heavily towards Mares [which I think in nature holds true as well] so I'm not going to do the whole natural homsexuality thing. Rather I'm saying that F/F would be common than the rare M/F due to natural rarity.

Although there is scientific viability to FF impregnation on Earth, and if magic there can make a living Fruitimal, manipulating gender [like certain fauna can do in nature] is possible with magic. Thus the 1 Mate, 2.5 children and a White Picket fence is viable without having to fight hoof and nail for the rare male when other options are viable. Especially since herding [polygamy] isn't done in canon.


But lets say that this was still the case. She got hit up by a lot of males that only cared, for her, for her cutie mark. Blank Flanks are just uncommon enough to be counted as a deformity / disability when adult hood is reached. And she just wasn't into mares. So at her age. She thinks life isn't worth living and ends it.

If she were to go to a Blank Flank group. She'd be with ponies going through the same pain and humiliation. Would know of places where ponies like them could get good jobs with no discrimination. And she could have a nice stallion or what have you. Get her children, and have a maybe not successful life, but at least a more satisfying one.

But by not knowing of that group. She basically had no reason to live on. Her depression fed the feeling that she was worthless. And I can see her ending it all.


Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It'd have been much more difficult to justify her downward arc if she actually had access to a support group. :rainbowhuh:

I guess I really hadn't thought it through.


It's all good :pinkiehappy: *Gives Cupcake Cookie*, after all it's still a nice little fic all on it's own. I've read Mayfly, and One Lie. And both of those are wonderful bittersweet, sad fics. This while a tragedy is, on it's own, a pretty decent sad fic as it is :twilightsmile:.

2999588 Now that is a really fair and logical point, never thought of that before:facehoof:



Well, I can't claim there isn't at least a superficial resemblance, but I looked at your story list and it doesn't show me as having read yours. (Although I suppose I can't rule out having seen it in a list and not realized I used the same title.)

Having said that, "The Note" wasn't even the original title (it was Epitaph, before I decided to go with something that fit better), but still, just . . . wow.

Sorry? :twilightoops:

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