• Member Since 8th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen September 7th

Starlitomega


That guy wot does the kissy horses, usually of the pink variety.

E

After doing extensive research on love and evaluating her feelings, Twilight comes to the conclusion that she has feelings towards her hyperactive pink friend. The only question that remains is whether or not Pinkie is ready to put her heart into another pony's hooves.
This story, is now complete for the time being. this last chapter is a little bit of me trying to be more descriptive and improve myself a bit. please tell me how you feel about it.


This is the first story I'll be posting in chapters. normally i like to post them all at once so i know the story's layout and can keep the tone all the way through, but going through about 14,000 words at once over and over again can be pretty daunting.

I promise though i will not let this piece languish over a long period of time. If there is one thing i dislike more than an author never finishing a story, its one that stops updating for weeks or months at a time.

Also a shout out to Bloopsy from the ponychan board is in order for some continuity and in character wrangling later on in the fic. Also he's the only one to ever volunteer to proofread a fic of mine and his help has been invaluable as a second viewpoint during the later parts of the story.

Wall of text.... hope you enjoy and thank you for your time!

No cover image as i am no artist when it comes to pics.....

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 65 )

seems like a good start and TwiPie is my second favorite ship so tracking.

Intriguing.....
MOAR.

"The blonde pony pressed a button above her head labeled “panic” and the applestand folded up around them completely encasing them in solitude.."
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3509-107585_-_applejack_artist-sweetlittlemedic_crossov.jpg

Tracked.....You have my attention! Also that bit with the complete privacy was great :rainbowlaugh:

As far as pacing and flow goes, it's rough, but the ideas in the story are unique and clever. I want some more, please!

Applestand panic room. Awesomeness. :ajsmug:

373794 you sir get +10 internets

373794
i really and truly don't know where that came from.....it was just something silly i threw in.
after i typed it though i immediately thought "AJ the engineer".

375032
more you shall get. i will be reviewing every chapter previous before posting the next so i'll definitely be looking to tweak and improve as i go.

unfortunately as i alluded to in my description you can't UNSEE previous chapters and their mistakes.
again, thank you to everyone who reads, tracks or comments on this story for your time and patience. it keeps me moving forward and i'll be looking into finding a pre-reader or two so the stories are polished a helluva lot more.

376079

I find it fascinating to see an author improve over the course of a story. It's not something you see in the professional world unless you pay very close attention for several years. It's an experience that you can't find anywhere else. That's how I like to look at it.

I'm excited to see where this goes.
One thing I noticed that I would suggest keeping an eye on is word variation; it didn't happen very often, but making sure that you don't use the same word twice in close proximity keeps the flow going. :pinkiesmile:
Can't wait to see more.

I guess this chapter shows why there is a sad tag to this story:fluttershysad:. Glad to see there is something more then just normal cliche shipping going on in your story. Keep it up.

376393
That is one of the virtues of fanfiction i never realized would exist until i started on it myself. heck, I'm proud of myself for the sheer improvement I've made with cutting down on passive sentences during my first rough draft.

was was waswaswas was was was waswas waswaswaswas.
that word is the bane of my existence.... :twilightangry2:

377066
Yes, that's one of the things i shook my head at when i went through my first chapter again applestand blonde pony applestand applestand unicorn :rainbowderp:


It can be quite demoralizing to find so many things that need to be corrected after you put something out in the wild fairly sure that it's ready. At least I'm getting them now.

384434
While i do find alot of plain happy shipfics to be enjoyable, i find the most emotional attachment to stories come with some sort of sadness. If ANY of you have not read Common Sky by SyrinKitty and you don't mind Twiluna, go here NOW!
Certainly blows my crap out of the water.
I am concerned that i may not have enough comedy material to keep the comedy tag though.....

384589
WAS in a good or a bad way? :rainbowwild:

Thank you all for your time and patience with me and this story
Starlitomega/Starlitalpha

a bit of both but will see were the fic goes:pinkiesad2:

Whoa....we have some drama now...Which is honestly good as it gives us an obstacle that needs to be overcome! Also :fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttercry: SAAADDDD.....also I heard All Gummed Up Inside in my head during Twi's crying...thus making me feel even more sad :applecry: Can't wait to see how this all turns out!

Poor twilight. . .

Madame Rarity, I must sincerely disagree :pinkiehappy: Alliterating is one of my favorite traits of Twilights

awsome twipie :twilightsmile: but I just can't wait till dashie finds out :pinkiehappy:

Flawless VIctory.

:trollestia:FINISH HER:trollestia:

Woot! I :heart: TwiPie. Keep going awesome stuff this is.

424460 Cuteality
Twilight Wins

424274
The original plan had Pinkie refusing to say anything about it and then twilight goes to Rainbows home and they chat awhile, but it never seemed to pick up in pace again after that. I then reworked it and thought this would be the perfect place for Twilight to shine, not only in forgiving and comforting the one who hurt her, but also gathering the courage to chase her down and not let a good thing walk away from her.

Pinkie is almost always shown in a positive light in most of the fics i've written so i kinda wanted to take that away from her and cause her to really be a negative force. I just didn't realize how difficult that would be since she's such an upbeat and freespirit. Looking back now I'm glad i gave Twilight a chance to shine because when she really puts her heart in something, she makes sure it gets done.

there's still an epilogue coming as well. thank you all for your time, comments and favorites as always

Starlitomega/starlitalpha

I am thoroughly enjoying this. I love your take on Twilight being the pursuer and Pinkie needing the assistance to take that step.
Plus it's just all so adorable.
I can't wait to read the epilogue. :pinkiehappy:

as far as shipping goes i think i like Twipie (or Twinkie) better then most :pinkiehappy:

then again those two are my favorite characters

Bravo! Good show. A most excellent story and I am almost sad to see it end. It was quite a ride.

D'awww! I love when Pinkie comes out not only being increadibly improbable, but smart enough that the improbability is intentional. The fact that Twilight picked up on that and they're studying together gets an extra d'awww from me :pinkiehappy:

Jolly good show, mate!

As, it's over. I hope we get the occasional update.

Well done! I enjoyed it thoroughly! :twilightsmile:

453276
it certainly put me through the wringer, i kinda am sad to see it over too buuuuuut....


453294
i wish i could've found a nice place to amp that up more. if i had more time at the begining maybe have pinkie rattle off some facts about space then bounce off while twi stands there horrified.
453862
454001
im certainly glad you did. i just hope i wasnt oo slow in getting the whole thing out.

453866
considering i just did an update for applepie, a fic thats been complete for over 6 months now, its not out of the question. but i refuse to force something that isnt there.

thank you all for your time, patience and support. it means a whole lot more than you know.

Starlitomega/Starlitalpha

Yes. Baking shenanigans! Just what every Twinkie story needs!
Very nicely executed tease with the tic tac toe as well. :trollestia:
Very good chapter. I have nothing to critique right now. :pinkiehappy:

It's pretty sweet, but I'm not really into all this shipping stuff. The way I see it, Rainbow Dash is the only gay pony of the mane six.

This last chapter seems basically unnecessary, since the plot was wrapped up pretty nicely by the fifth one.

There are punctuation errors scattered throughout the chapters, but they don't detract from the story much.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. I've never really read anything like this before.

You cracked me up with the "Pinkie snores like a chainsaw: party hard, sleep hard" thing.:rainbowlaugh:

SageWise

I'll quote bison on this one:
YES, YES!!!

How to beat Pinkie at Tic Tac Toe: make the first move and select the center tile. If you just counter your opponents moves, you will eventually win.

459494
After doing an epilogue to Applepie that involved baking, i was hesitant to do this one, but by moving it more to the comedy side of things i feel satisfied with it.

459544
460752
thank you, thank you, i have to say, I'm not sure exactly caused me to draw this out, especially in such a short amount of time considering i thought the fic complete, but i had the right amount of inspiration and energy drinks to push it through.

459578
I don't really look at any of them as being "gay" or "straight". The only real reason there are so many F/F pairings is down to the fact that all the main characters are of the female persuasion. They're the ones we know best so of course they're going to get paired with each other. As long as i can make an appropriate line from one pony to another, i'll feel comfortable pairing them. Also, you may notice that ALL of my ships involve Pinkie. This comes down to the fact i identify with her the most. I have hypoglycemia so i have to keep my sugar up constantly which sometimes involves Pinkie style binges, i fall into Pinkamena style depressions now and then thanks to dsyphoria which is a side effect of hypoglycemia, (imagine the opposite of euphoria) and my life's dream (which i know is unattainable but the point is to try anyway,) is to make everyone i meet laugh, even if it's at me.

TL:DR: i write Pinkie fics because i identify with her the most of the mane 6.

My punctuation when it comes to dialogue has ALWAYS been a problem, My first and foremost focus however is on making the story as descriptive and making it flow as smoothly as possible. People can overlook punctuation if the story being told is good enough. expect me to work on this in the future though.

461606
Pinkie ALWAYS wins. that's what breaking the fourth wall gets you, Teleportation interruption, temporary anti-gravity, and Pinkie sense are just some of her more well known powers.
Fact: when asked what pony was his favorite, jayson theissen dodged the question a bit and backpedaled to pinkie citing that she could appear in almost any scene since she can approach from any angle due to her unusual nature. This question and answer can be heard on the bronyville podcast.



Thank you to all of you fro your time and patience and expect more hopefully by the weekend. i'm kinda drained at the moment and i'm stuck with the after hours radio this week.
Starlitomega

Its good... I'm abit miffed about applejack's accent writing but uhh... I can live with it ^^

586604
OH! someone finally says something about my AJ accent!

OK, let me start by saying im native to Louisiana so when i do my AJ dialogue i literally type how i think i sound when i talk. Thus far you are only the second person to make any mention of it.

too much? too little? any advice or suggestions will be considered.

starlitomega

Cute, cheesy, simple.

I'll give you a positive rating, but it's not something I feel like faving.

599573
The fact you took time enough to read it is enough for me, the like, a bonus, a fav is unnecessary since the story is complete. Only thing i'll be doing to it from this point forward is touch ups on grammar and such.

I'm glad you enjoyed it though!
starlitomega

Hey cool, a mane six shipfic where Applejack isn't involved or used as the traditionalist pony to create friction.
Awesome, gonna check out the rest of this and see how I still feel.

twipie I always preferred twinkie. twipie sounds like your talking about twilight's "vag":rainbowlaugh: But that's just my opinion.
By no means am I dissing twipie, I love twipie.....forget I said that:facehoof:

I just can't see Pinkie lashing out like that, it's out of her character, I know I'm being "that guy" but it had to be said.

1457100

i think in the right mood that she might. Seeing her act the way she did with rainbow in party of one speaks to me that she might if the stakes were a little higher.

and don't be afraid to speak up.

...odd, part of me feels like I've read this before, and yet I have absolutly no idea what's going to happen. I think it might just be Deja Vu, though. In any case...that was a shock. While it felt unnaturally sudden and out of nowhere, since there was brief mention of a "memory" I'm guessing she was really yelling at that, instead of Twilight. And it was obviously a sudden impulse else Pinkie would have still been seething instead of guilty. ....I gotta say though that I thought that AJ throwing a teacup at RD was a bit...disproportionate to the minor offense of sticking her foot in her mouth. Kind of violent. o.0. But that grievence is the size of a mouse hair. I'm glad I found this so far, though :D Can't wait to finish reading it.

I'm not sure I approve of Applejack and Fluttershy's message being "Give Twilight a shot"...it's entirely besides the point, and pretty much turns the situation into something that corners Pinkie into accepting Twilight's offer. Pinkie's offence wasn't saying no to the date, it was treating her horribly about it. Applejack and Fluttershy should have stopped at convincing her to apologize to Twilight for the way she treated her. Whether or not she went on a date with Twilight should have been entirely optional depending on what exactly Pinkie wanted. But, I could be misinterpreting. Maybe they're telling her to give Twilight a chance to speak, instead of assuming the worst? Pinkie did throw some accusations after all so that would make sense. I don't think I misundersood, and telling Pinkie to give Twilight a shot would only have been appropriate had she expressed a desire to date Twilight but held back by her fear. Otherwise they're crossing the line.

Twilight's threat to Pinkie Pie was....satisfying. I love Pinkie Pie and didn't want her to come out of this in bad shape, but I dislike it when characters who were wronged end up never calling the wrongerer on it, and a fair justice had to be served. For this same reason, I'm glad Twilight took back her offer to go out with Pinkie Pie at first. Especially in that she did so in a way that was gentle, not mean or angry. I'm still confused by Applejack and Fluttershy. I don't know if they were just trying to get Pinkie Pie to apologize (though the words "give her a chance" suggest that isn't it, though it could have been meant that she should just listen to what Twi has to say without prejudice), or if they simply already knew Pinkie Pie wanted to go out with Twi before Twi even confessed her feelings toward Pinkie to AJ, or if they were telling her "You did wrong by saying no to her. go say yes to her" which would have been a reaaally bad message. [continued in next post, PS3 text limit]

I'm just really confused as to what AJ and Fluttershy were telling Pinkie to do. Reguardless of whether AJ or Fluttershy knew, though, I'm glad it was made obvious that Pinkie Pie wanted to go out with Twilight before Twilight asked (as opposed to because she asked. So many ship-fics give the impression that the one saying "yes" is humoring the one who asked). Also....I love it when characters are so...passionate. XD it may not be wise in the dating sense to get hot and heavy early, but I just love it when characters are so...attracted to each other that they fail to keep their hooves off each other XD...and these two couldn't wait a single second! :yay:

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