Kirin coffee is the best there is.
There is absolutely nothing suspicious about it.
An entry for the A Thousand Words Contest II in the Comedy category.
Chapters (1)
Raugos
Joined 13th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- danatron1 · 1000 words · 79 1 · 1k views
- marmalado · 1000 words · 54 3 · 874 views
- Dashie04 · 1000 words · 164 views
- SpoonierThanThou · 1000 words · 57 3 · 684 views
- JimmySlimmy · 3.4k words · 184 3 · 1.6k views
- The Psychopath · 1.5k words · 28 1 · 433 views
- Admiral Biscuit · 2.6k words · 239 2 · 2k views
Featured In9
- Coffee, Tea, and Everything Else129 stories ·70 members
Comedy4,734 stories ·1,292 members
Comedy, Inc.2,129 stories ·389 members
The Comedy Palace217 stories ·99 members
Autumn Blaze83 stories ·244 members
- Food, Drinks & Cooking324 stories ·0 members
Kirins Forever!40 stories ·20 members
A Thousand Words592 stories ·232 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.165 seconds
Total duration
863 users online
539,884 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
#cutestcanonkirin
#kirinbeansarepoop
11618176
Spoilers, please.
11618179
Isn't it obvious, tho?
11618186
Maybe. But I'd rather let readers find out the long way if they happen to glance at comments first.
I saw it coming, because I drink kopi luwak.
That's some good shit.
Remember, everything fermented is poo.
I have a sick mind. I twigged to the gag far too early. Still fresh and strong, like mountain grown Columburoian coffee.
You should try the Beer.
To be fair, that's how I imagined a Kirin spa would look like.
*distinct lack of words*
I wonder whether anyone told Keen where honey comes from...
Ok but why is he named Greg?
11618378
There was originally a little part mentioning that Greg is a griffon, but it accidentally got trimmed out in my efforts to keep it at 1000 words. It's back in now.
11618517
Ah, that makes sense. I should not have assumed his race, my bad.
Makes sense in story lol
The word of the day is "civet" and I immediately suspected it before I even clicked the story. Especially with the memes about their beer.
I wonder if similar could be said of the little clusters of gems so prized by Rarity and her fellow fashion moguls for their avant-garde clothing designs?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2022/9/26/2954715.png
11618228
The hottest shit in town.
11618339
Nah, not sick. Just experienced.
11618354
Changelings?
11618628
SockiePuppetry did a cute(?) little comic on that very thing.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2022/12/26/3014518.png
I knew where this was going just from the fic's title. I was not disappointed.
I didn’t expect this ending at all lmao, not until they mentioned the Kirin eating a ton of those cherry things
Greg must be a fan of the Soylent Green movie, too
This reminds of the joke about kirin beer. This is not my kind of humor.
Truly a Kirin cultural tradition.
Yup. That went exactly where I thought it was going.
Honestly, more people need to learn how much of the food we eat is a product of something that came out of something's butt.
Okay, I have to say, this is a totally inaccurate analogue for civet coffee.
For one thing, it implies that the creatures that produce it are kept in even vaguely humane conditions.
For another, it implies that the coffee tastes good.
I'm just going to refer to the words of someone far more experienced than I:
64.media.tumblr.com/46fce1712d6a3c44cf136f73d726f96e/tumblr_nls7t6Qap31u754fgo2_1280.jpg
Haha, knew it! Called it 1/3 into the story and read the rest with a big goofy grin on my face as I wondered how you would pull it off
Very nice.
Can I have another cup please, dear author?
EDIT: So, Kirin beer is pee. And Kirin coffee is poo.
What else can these marvellous creatures / perfect roommates / ideal partners do?
11618628, 11618642
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/6/19/2069572.png
Source.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/4/12/1705603.png
Source.
I have had kopi luwak. It's good, but not really worth the high price and animal welfare concerns.
I kind of want to try https://www.foodandwine.com/news/bourbon-pointu-coffee-bat-saliva.
derpicdn.net/img/2021/1/27/2538307/large.gif
My brother brought some instant packets of durian coffee back from a trip. I like the Jeruk Peruk tea better...
11618887
Given what pollen is and what's unaccounted for, I assume honey.
11618868
Fair enough. This story isn't intended to be an accurate portrayal of how civet coffee is farmed/harvested. As for the taste, Keen is an unreliable narrator. There are those who swear by civet coffee, but most agree that it's nothing special outside of its novelty.
Yeah, saw this coming
Well It doesn't take a genius to figure out were this is going, not sure if want... But still my curiosity compels me.
The start of the story is entertaining, but the end is shit.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/6/4/1749830.gif
I did see what was coming. Still laughed. Of course it works perfectly given kirins.
10/10 would have another cup, with sugar. No cream, though.
11618887
Well, you’ll never guess what Kirin shakes are made out of.
And don’t even start on Kirin smoothies.
11618239 An' if it isnae Scottish, it's CRRRRRAP!
I'd love to see this get a sequel because this was just golden.
11618706
derpicdn.net/img/2019/8/14/2117615/large.png
11619331
Good thing that the contest's word limit is just 1000. It was hard enough to push out as it is.
11618921
That comic is hilarious!
11618937
The bat coffee doesn't sound too bad, and the price isn't completely insane, either. Apparently there's an elephant version of civet coffee, and that 'Black Ivory' stuff goes for 2000USD per kilo.
Also, despite all the crazy marketing claims, durian doesn't necessarily go with everything.
I don't give a FUCK
I love honey and it's double vomit
I love figs and they all have dead wasps inside
I'ma love that kirin coffee cus it taste like firecy fucking energy just the way I like it
That is SO pony.
Well it's canon that pegasus farts are helium, so this isn't too far removed...
11619912
Tell me more about the dead wasps that power figs.
11620165
So every single fig you've ever eaten except by human interaction has eaten a wasp that's specialty is figs their pretty tiny and they go into the figs to lay their eggs but die in the process as well as tearing off their wings to get in a tiny entrance then they are digested by the figgy juices. Also I don't think any of the males escape and the babies mate inside. Hahahahaha enjoy your figs yum
OH NOOOOOO not the cat poop coffee!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
11619912
It's true that the best coffee in the world (Sumatra) comes from volcanic soil.
Now that you've done kopi luwak and durian, what's next? Hakarl? Casu marzu?
11620638
There was Surströmming a couple of years ago.
11620478 Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.
11620561 I grew some pretty fantastic coffee in NJ, with 1 or 2 potted trees I bring inside for the winter. Takes about 4 years to get enough beans for a pound of roasted coffee. It takes a month to dry the berries and then a few more months to age them (makes the beans get more flavor when they're aged inside the dried berry in a cool, dark, dry place. And then it takes a week to cut off the leathery berry husk by hand. And then I have to keep all the windows in the house open to air out the smoke when I roast the beans... at least that part's fast.
But then I get a pound of really great coffee! ... ... Which is gone in a week. ..... I need to convince some rich idiot that it's a delicacy and costs $80,000 a pound.
11620219 I now have a story in mind of a giant fig that eats changelings... kinky! (OMG, VORE!!! RUN AWAY!!!)