This story is a sequel to So Long Old Friend
After seeing his final sunset Spike awakens, having been reincarnated as a Female Kirin, still retaining thousands of years worth of Memories, she does everything in her power to try and raise to a position of power so she can be near her friends, all the while trying to think of a way to tell them who she use to be.
Will she win them back, or will she spend the next thousand lifetimes trying to return to their lives.
This is a Sequal, the first one is Required reading before reading this one
Featured: Dates
Special thanks to Viper Pit for being a Co-writer/Pre-Reader
If you like this story and would like to support me feel free to buy me a Ko-fi
Chapters (25)
Nice :3
9638437
I concur
Good story, i like it
good story, found these for you Will look at other chaps.
not being fire resistant, casue both River Moon [cause ] ??
she made a series of baby noised [ noises ]
Her ear spiting cry filled the room [ splitting ]
He ran over at a walking pace to the crib [ ???? ]
Pop-pop said, smoking coming off his long mane [smoke ]
Leafstorm when from raging to crying, [ went ] ??
Astral had been ground for a month [ grounded ]
Sugarcubecorner [Sugarcube corner]
I really hope Astral and Leaf Spike will bond somehow in the future
9638633
thanks, I fixed it
I have no idea why I did this
but I find reading the sentence funny so I'm keeping it
Best part of the story so far
This seems to be very interesting so far.
At first I was going to pass the story by, but it's a rather cute idea, and I am looking forward to any more chapters to follow...
Nice. Can't wait for more. Maybe get someone to edit these and those coming.
Man the twins are fire
Pls mor fast I cant take waiting this long!
Your sentences are running together from lack of proper punctuation, but other than that the story seems interesting. I'm defeinitely keeping an eye on this.
So far, the writing is a bit ...meh, but the story is looking very good
Thx for the Chapter!
I cant wait till the next chp im bursting with excitement
Amazingly well done.
Really it is.
Love the story. Can't wait for the next chapter\chapters.
plz dont let this story die
9715999
oh trust me, this story has had so much planning put into it, it's not dying I'm just on a break is all.
9715999
It's been updated
as unreal as it seems, there are people like this and I can't say i envy the people around them.
On to Twilight calling Astral a shit. that was great.
Ya know. I've actually fallen in love with this story.
9735868
for the update, for the Discord thing, or both?
9735694
that's so lovely to hear.
9735879
ah
9735918
fair, fair.
9737859
Thank you, I like yours as well.
9738421
np
So satisfying
*takes stock of his random items to sell in the multiverse store and finds a note in a box* Ooook who took the... DISCORD! Ah fuck I hope he doesn't actually uses it or *shivers* poor bastard will never set foot with in 10 miles of anyone. *Sighs and goes back to taking stock*
I know that I’m a little late to reading this story but I like it so far. Oh and here’s some things I caught while reading.
It
Super
I read this right after its prequel and still feel sad, but I'm still interested in the plot of this story so I don't know how to react
9838534
That's a fair feeling to have
9838578
Another thing please continue this story because it's amazing. If you're still writing it and I'm just being paranoid, I'm sorry. It just looks like you stopped because your last update was in mid-July.
9838778
I'm just really random, Tho you should be warned when I do update this story it'll probably stop my daily upload's due to the story being intended for longer chapters.
This was fun read and I love what you did with spike and hope they found/see their other older friends that are still alive.
I know I already mentioned this, but please update this soon because the wait has been unbearable and I just want to know what happens next already
your grands drop
Grades
Muahahah, I'm going to love when his fall comes. Also, ME WANT NEW PONY EMOJIS!!!!!
Okay seriously, I love the premise and will read this in a bit, but this is ridiculous. Is English not your first or second language by any chance? I highly recommend finding someone to proofread, because the spelling and grammar is just bad. The story description is meant to be the part that draws people in by catching their attention so special attention should be given at least to that part. Yet the description of this story is filled to the brim with both spelling and grammar errors, so the first impression it gives me is not good in the least. After all, if the description is filled with errors, then how must the rest of the story be?
Again, a lovely premise, but you need to find someone to help you.
Fire them. Seriously get rid of them and find someone else, because whoever that is, they have utterly failed at helping. Could they not even be bothered to edit the description? I mean, good on them for volunteering to help out, but if you aren't good at looking for and fixing errors then you really don't have much business being a proofreader.
9953601
dis is so gud
Ah hello again haha
9954459
hi
I think this chapter was great. Other comments may be complaining about the grammar, but I personally couldn't care less on that part; I'm all story and so far that aspect is great.
9954487
I agree
Any error my mind tends to correct anyway with what fits so not that much of an issue.
9954703
That same reason is why I don't care about grammar. My brain has autocorrect on
Interesting story, albeit I hope you don't mind if I try and give you some advice.
The moment with Twilight, while being a risky choice, seeing as I imagine Spike wanting to meet them being the big goal of the story, certainly can help build up the story. This emotional moment with Spike not being sure how to tell her things without sounding nuts and ruining it and then bonding a bit can perfectly reaffirm his determination to see her again. He could even go as far as to tell her, "We will meet again. One day. I will see you again," or something along those lines to show conviction as they part ways. This could be quite the commemorable moment.
Discord being there and actually spilling a lot of information...it fits less I believe. The whole situation can be an incredible plot twist. A revelation that might lead to conflict, anger, shock or any other emotional situation. It probably would have been better to keep it a secret. There could be subtle hint dropped as in Discord not being there mentioned as Twilight grumbles how he got other things to do and left her to meet Rain Shine. Just to name an example on what could be done. Overall I do hope you have something to replace the weight of this information. Another opportunity for a peak in tension, because Spike and the others learning about it in the future will have much less of an impact as people already know about this now.
The tickets from Discord also might make it too easy for Spike. Reaching his friends, which seemed like a herculean task before and now is already in his grasp. It feels a bit like there is a struggle missing. This stories goal seems to be after all to get to them. And I got excited seeing Spike do that in a new body. It is half the adventure. An audience loves to see the hero struggle, so they can root for him and then be elated once the heroes goal is reached.
Then we have Astral. Having an antagonist like Astral is a good thing. An arrogant Blueblood kind of type, only more destructive. He could be an arrogant snob, or an actual real-live villain, depending on which road you want to take him. And that is really good. Family conflicts like this can actually way a good bit. The antagonist can have debt by facing his own issues, feeling like he was abandoned by his parents, feeling like most of his family never appreciated him. Or Ocean using him to accumulate more fame and wealth for herself. Her being a manipulative type could help form his character. You have lots of room to build things like that out. There was only problem with him in this chapter. And it was not him directly, but the payback. And I don't mean the twins. That one was just minor after all and fit. I meant, everything after that. His comeuppance seemed too early so to say. It was in my opinion too much. Discord and then later Twilight exclaiming they would mess with him and Discord already having messed with him then by the end wasn't something that should be done too soon. It actually puts the antagonist down a notch, before he actually becomes a threat. It makes him seem a lot less threatening. And while it certainly can be satisfying, it would be better to not deal any major blows of justice his way. At least in my opinion. Like I said, comeuppance I think is best served at the right time. And if you want to you could even try and set up a reformation route. All is possible with Astral and he can show quite a lot of potential!
And I just noticed, as a little addendum, that Discord threatening to punish Atral if he tries anything could cause complications. Astral will now try something. If Discord steps in, it takes all danger the readers feel from the antagonist. If he doesn't, it feels like Discord isn't keeping to his word, as if it doesn't mean much. A conundrum of sorts. Just as something I was mulling over.
I think this is one of those moments where readers can really sit back, and truly need to appreciate inner dialogue, because I loved this
When will this series continue, I love it and am so into it I just reread what there is so far for a second time