Leaf had gone to the small children's play park nearby and was sitting on the swing, using her tail to push herself back and forth, She swung silently on her swing, missing the old days when Pinkie would liven up any party, even when there were grouchy crashers,
"Hi there," A voice said, a voice that made her ears stand on end as she turned to its owner, looking at her kindly stood Twilight.
"Sweet Mother of the River!" She yelped as she jumped and fell flat on her face as her swing fell back without her, "Ow" She added, Twilight levitated her back onto the swing and joined her with a smile, Leaf looked at her in silence, a mixture of feeling flowing through her as she looked at the mare that had been her sister, but now saw her as a Stranger, she wanted to say so many things, things she knew she would probably never get to say again After a while Twilight started the conversation,
"I saw what happened," She said "Such a little Kirin using such a...harsh word," Leaf Storm blushed as she laughed nervously, "Yeah, this isn't the first time Astrals ruined my party, that's what Daddy called him when he thought I couldn't hear,"
"I'm sorry to hear that," Twilight said, Leaf Storm could feel she meant that and it made her smile.
"Oh, you don't know the half of it." Leaf said as she got down off the swings to look Twilight in the eyes. "I had to share a room with the stupid son of a bitch," Leaf then let out a very angry whinny.
Twilight was stunned at the idea of a child learning such words. "I can assume he taught you that?"
Well, actually, it was Celestia after she found out that blueblood was gay. "yeah among other things that got me my own room because my folks kicked him out when they found out." Leaf said while doing a motion with her hoof, running it back and crossing against the soft dirt, Twilight got off the swing and offered Leaf Storm her hoof,
"I'm very sorry to hear about this, I use to have brothers and they were the best part of my life before I became a Princess," Leaf Storm looked at her in silence as she continued "My brother Shining was a Great Pony, he was the best Big Brother I could have asked for and he single-handily ended the Great Pony Griffion war, and my brother Spike was a hero through and through, I know you know his name, that goofball managed to become a hero in every non-pony nation, with the Exemption of the Chrysal Empire, to this day they say he's a god waiting to return to the world and bring peace," Twilight seemed lost in thought as she put her hoof down and with a start Leafstorm realized she was crying,
"Don't cry," Leaf Storm said holding in her own emotion and throwing out the sentimental comfort she now knew to be a lie, "They're up in the clouds, and I'm sure they're proud of the Princess you are today," Twilight smiled.
"Aren't you a little sweetheart," she replied "I'm supposed to be cheering you up and you've gone and turned the tables on me," Twilight wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Back on point, what I was going to say was that while it's tragic one of your brothers is literal trash, I couldn't help but notice your other two brothers rushing to the scene and stink bombing him," Leaf looked at her for a moment before her mouth pulled up at the corners as she tried not to laugh,
"Please tell me they shoved Skunk bombs up his nose again," She said, laughter beginning to come out of her "I love it when they do that,"
"I'm sure they'd love to tell you about it if you'd come back to your party with me, I left them with Discord so I can only hope it hasn't gotten out of control." Twilight once again offered Leaf storm a hoof she took in silence before they made their way back to the party, Discord was floating over her three friends who seemed to be trying to do something on the table, Pop-pop and the Twins were watching as Astral still struggled with the skunk bombs up his nose, the parents were trying to figure out if they should call an officer when Onyx noticed Twilight and Leaf come back.
"Oh thank goodness," he said, his wife doing the same before leaving the group and heading to the table,
"Honey are you ok?" River asked as the Twins and Pop-pop came back from their glorious view of Astrals suffering
"We still got presents to open," Pop-pop added "I'm sure one of them will kick this party up a little.
"I have a better idea!" Discord declared getting the groups attention as he moved and presented what Winter, Summer, and Autumn had done, they had each cut their surviving slice of cake in half and placed one of each of their halves on a plate for Leaf storm, they had even picked off the Gem candies form their halves and placed them on the cake, the Trio levitated the cake in front of her and Discord snapped, a candle appearing on top of it. Leaf storm looked like she was gonna cry as the trio smiled.
"Happy Birthday!" They cheered, the rest of the party joining in, Leaf storm took a deep breath and blew out the candle, the party kicking into gear as soon as she did so, as Leaf storm and her three friends began talking to each other River walked over to Twilight.
"Princess I can't thank you enough," She began "But you don't have to stay, I understand you're a busy pony,"
"Oh I don't mind," Twilight said happily "I'm the Princess of Friendship after all, and I do love a good party," Discord was floating overhead, looking down at Leaf storm in silence, he was no longer looking at her physically, he was looking at her through the spirit realm, as he looked he got a good view of the table and smiled, where Leaf storm sat he could see the Green and purple spirit of Spike, and next to him he could see the spirits of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, after a quick once over he found two more in the twins with Flim and Flam.
"Ah," He thought "I've been wondering where these lot were," He pulled out a pen and pad and wrote a note to himself "Spike especially, I was worried he might have been fully reincarnated but it seems the spell worked, his soul is still in one piece, Leaf storm should have some Spike like personalities in her once she gets old enough, so it's a safe bet..." Discord finished his writing and flew over to River, presenting a small box to her,
"I Present to you," He declared as she watched him pull the small bow on top "The Instant Cakebox," as soon as the bow left the box is expanded and turned into an exact copy of the cake Astral had trashed, River stared in silence when Discord placed the bow back on and it turned back into a box. "Just a little something to surprise the Birthday girl with when you get home," River took the box and he smiled and winked before going over to Leaf Storm. The four young Kirins were in the midst of arguing over dresses,
"I prefer tuxes," Leaf replied simply, "None Flammable Tuxes" She added, there was a snap and she blinked, looking down she was wearing an orange tux with a Purple undershirt and a Purple bowtie. "Oh! Thank you Discord," Even Discord was taken aback by how unsurprised and casual she sounded, almost like she had expected it.
"Hmm," Discord thought "She might have a few echo memories, have to keep an eye on this one," Discord pondered for a moment before blinking "The hell am I doing if she's just like Spike then..." Discord looked down at her with a pair of comically large glasses "You know, just by looking at you I can tell you are overly prepared and responsible for your age.
"he's got you there Leaf," Winter laughed "You're so good at listening to the teacher you only take notes to give to us, she's like super smart, I bet she could multiply if she tried," The trio made a ruckus about how advanced she would be, one look at Leaf told Discord she didn't find multiplication to be advanced.
"Well then, here." Discord said handing Leaf storm a card with an image of a golden Discord on it. "When you've graduated from High School, just come to Ponycity, head to Twilight's castle, and press that card on the ground, I'll give you a job as my assistant in a heartbeat." Discord took the glasses off and put them on Leaf Storm before leaving.
"Wow," The Trio said as Leaf Storm placed the card in her tux pocket, and looked at them through the glasses that were bigger than her head.
"Anyone want a pair of giant glasses?" She inquired, "Her brothers shot up next to her and claimed them as their own. She let out a chuckle as the two used their powers combined to share the glasses, each using one side and holding them up with their magic. Leaf storm took another bite of her cake when Pop-pop declared
"Alright! I've waited long enough!" he got up "Present time!" Leaf storm didn't even have time to respond, her family, and her friends all levitated their respective presents over and sat waiting for her to pick one to open,
"Well since there seems to be a contest between them I'll open Pop-pop and the twin's presents first." Discord heard a noise and looked over to see Astral had gotten the bombs out of his nose, with a snap Discord replaced them and turned back to the presents, Astral began swearing and he snapped again temporarily surrounding Astral in a noise proof barrier that followed him around. Leaf storm opened Pop-pops first and found a thick book named: "The History of the Crystal Empire."
"Oh, dangit," Comet muttered, looking over at Pop-pop. "That's cheating," he muttered as Leaf storm picked it up, even after being reincarnated Spike held a special place in his heart for the Empire, Leaf sat in silence and Pop-pop reacted.
"Quick before she starts the crying part!" The Twins placed their present down and Leaf began opening them, Comets present was full of still in the package Harmony toys, it had the Mane 6 and a fair number of ponies who were only known as the toys now, among them she spied the toy Spike and smiled before moving to Sunrises, she thought it was a large book, but inside was a huge stack of Power Ponies reunited comics, both Comet and Pop-Pop gasped
"you broke the oath," They said staring at Sunrise who was now wearing the giant glasses in victory, using his magic to keep them from falling off.
"I win," he declared with pride.
"Indeed you do!" Leaf storm agreed as she looked at them "I love Power ponies so much!"
"Yup, she has a fair amount of Spike in her she does," Discord decided as she began opening more presents. Pop-pop and Comet were getting onto Sunrise for breaking the promise to not get the obvious winner, River's present had been a stack of Power Pony comics as well, and after a quick check Leaf storm found her mother had gotten her issues 1-50, and Sunrise had gotten 51-98, she looked over at her mother who had a twinkle in her eye.
"Shh, don't tell 'em it was a group project we've been working on all year," She whispered, Her father had been in on it too, his present was 99-178, meaning she was only 2 comics off from the full collection, once she opened Winters she found that her friends may have also been in on it as she pulled out a neatly boxed Masked-Matter-horn and Filli Second, Leaf Storm laughed and held up Matter-horn, looking over at Twilight as she did so, something that didn't escape Discords notice.
"Spike once told me that they got sucked into a power ponies comic...and that Twilight was Matter-horn," He mused on it "I wonder how much of Spike is still in there?" Summer had gotten her Saddle Ranger and Mistress Marvelous, and Autumn had gotten her the Zap, Radiance, and Humdrum combo pack, at the last birthday she'd had Power ponies action figures and comics, then Astral had claimed them as his and made off with them when the house had been empty, they had been unable to get them back due to Ocean Smog refusing to let them on her property and claiming that girls shouldn't play with boy toys, looking at them she was overjoyed that her missing collection had been returned, and now had an extra 15 comics to go with it. As Leaf Storm began thanking her family and friends for the gifts Discord released Astral from the Stink and the dome, he shook his head and stood up to take vengeance when Discord loomed above him.
"Morning" Discord said "I take it your the brother," Astral looked thrilled.
"I am Astral thunder, yes the Astral thunder, I know, I know you are impressed."
"Listen," Discord said simply "I like your brothers and your sisters, so just an F.Y.I for the future," Discord leaned in with yellow glowing eyes "you fuck with 'em again, you steal something, you ruin their social lives, you kick another cake off a table, and I'll know, and when I snap my fingers you won't be removing what I place in your nose," Discord stood up "Now Mr. Douchebag have a shit day." Discord teleported back to the party and held up a piece of paper to Twilight.
"Oh, I forgot!" She said as she looked at it "We still have a meeting with Rain shine!" Twilight waved goodbye and headed out "Goodbye Leaf storm," She said as they headed off "Discord you got that little shit's name right?" She asked.
"Astral Thunder," he confirmed
"Good, I'm gonna make sure Rain shine knows just what kind of a Kirin he is,"
"Oh, I love ruining terrible creatures' images." Discord sang as they headed out, Astral walked to the table and glared at the twins in silence, when they noticed him they spoke just loud enough for him to hear.
"Did you hear mother?" Comet asked getting the parties' attention "Discord offered me and Sunrise jobs," before their parents could display their joy Sunrise added.
"And offered one to Leaf Storm when she's old enough,"
"Oh yeah," Leaf storm said pulling out the Card, "Mom can you hold onto this?" River took the card and began tapping in excitement,
"Oh Onyx this is amazing, alright let's wrap up I got a get this card to a safe place." Astral watched as Leaf said goodbye to her friends and the party split up with the twins making sure all the presents were carefully taken home. Astral glared at his siblings, settling on Leaf storm,
"I am the special one here! I'm the one that deserves to kick it up in luxurious wealth. Not my lessers. Just wait until Aunt Smog hears of this. This time tomorrow that card will be trashed and you'll be back where you belong Leaf. Below me!"
9715999
It's been updated
as unreal as it seems, there are people like this and I can't say i envy the people around them.
On to Twilight calling Astral a shit. that was great.
Ya know. I've actually fallen in love with this story.
9735868
for the update, for the Discord thing, or both?
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that's so lovely to hear.
9735879
ah
9735918
fair, fair.
9737859
Thank you, I like yours as well.
9738421
np
So satisfying
*takes stock of his random items to sell in the multiverse store and finds a note in a box* Ooook who took the... DISCORD! Ah fuck I hope he doesn't actually uses it or *shivers* poor bastard will never set foot with in 10 miles of anyone. *Sighs and goes back to taking stock*
9838578
Another thing please continue this story because it's amazing. If you're still writing it and I'm just being paranoid, I'm sorry. It just looks like you stopped because your last update was in mid-July.
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I'm just really random, Tho you should be warned when I do update this story it'll probably stop my daily upload's due to the story being intended for longer chapters.
This was fun read and I love what you did with spike and hope they found/see their other older friends that are still alive.
I know I already mentioned this, but please update this soon because the wait has been unbearable and I just want to know what happens next already
Muahahah, I'm going to love when his fall comes. Also, ME WANT NEW PONY EMOJIS!!!!!
9953601
dis is so gud
Interesting story, albeit I hope you don't mind if I try and give you some advice.
The moment with Twilight, while being a risky choice, seeing as I imagine Spike wanting to meet them being the big goal of the story, certainly can help build up the story. This emotional moment with Spike not being sure how to tell her things without sounding nuts and ruining it and then bonding a bit can perfectly reaffirm his determination to see her again. He could even go as far as to tell her, "We will meet again. One day. I will see you again," or something along those lines to show conviction as they part ways. This could be quite the commemorable moment.
Discord being there and actually spilling a lot of information...it fits less I believe. The whole situation can be an incredible plot twist. A revelation that might lead to conflict, anger, shock or any other emotional situation. It probably would have been better to keep it a secret. There could be subtle hint dropped as in Discord not being there mentioned as Twilight grumbles how he got other things to do and left her to meet Rain Shine. Just to name an example on what could be done. Overall I do hope you have something to replace the weight of this information. Another opportunity for a peak in tension, because Spike and the others learning about it in the future will have much less of an impact as people already know about this now.
The tickets from Discord also might make it too easy for Spike. Reaching his friends, which seemed like a herculean task before and now is already in his grasp. It feels a bit like there is a struggle missing. This stories goal seems to be after all to get to them. And I got excited seeing Spike do that in a new body. It is half the adventure. An audience loves to see the hero struggle, so they can root for him and then be elated once the heroes goal is reached.
Then we have Astral. Having an antagonist like Astral is a good thing. An arrogant Blueblood kind of type, only more destructive. He could be an arrogant snob, or an actual real-live villain, depending on which road you want to take him. And that is really good. Family conflicts like this can actually way a good bit. The antagonist can have debt by facing his own issues, feeling like he was abandoned by his parents, feeling like most of his family never appreciated him. Or Ocean using him to accumulate more fame and wealth for herself. Her being a manipulative type could help form his character. You have lots of room to build things like that out. There was only problem with him in this chapter. And it was not him directly, but the payback. And I don't mean the twins. That one was just minor after all and fit. I meant, everything after that. His comeuppance seemed too early so to say. It was in my opinion too much. Discord and then later Twilight exclaiming they would mess with him and Discord already having messed with him then by the end wasn't something that should be done too soon. It actually puts the antagonist down a notch, before he actually becomes a threat. It makes him seem a lot less threatening. And while it certainly can be satisfying, it would be better to not deal any major blows of justice his way. At least in my opinion. Like I said, comeuppance I think is best served at the right time. And if you want to you could even try and set up a reformation route. All is possible with Astral and he can show quite a lot of potential!
And I just noticed, as a little addendum, that Discord threatening to punish Atral if he tries anything could cause complications. Astral will now try something. If Discord steps in, it takes all danger the readers feel from the antagonist. If he doesn't, it feels like Discord isn't keeping to his word, as if it doesn't mean much. A conundrum of sorts. Just as something I was mulling over.
mindblowing!!, I never expected that Discord was behind this
Spike honestly should have muttered, "Well that would explain a lot."
I feel Discord and Twilight did not act as they should in regards to Astral, maybe Discord, but Twilight seemed out of line. Also, that card wouldn't really matter in the long run. 12 years is a long time to hold onto a card, unless it is a special magical one cause Discord made it. At which point stealing it could have grave repercussions.
yap, i thought it looked a little to personnel, i’m so sorry for what you have to endure,
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Surely, after 6000 plus years, he would think to put a safeguard on it that would bind it to its intended recipient. If not, at least put an anti-Astral charm on it.
I like this, the spelling and grammar aren't perfect, but the story and plot makes up for it. I had a feeling the brothers were flim and flam, looks like they get to be good guys from the start.
As for the swearing, I'm going to put that up as over 6000 years on a single language will definitely change the intensity and vernacular of the swearing environment. We've gone from Peeved being a harsh swear for adults, to the F-bomb for kids being the unhappy truth. Much like our own language, they've become desensitized to it.
That blueblood story was great though! I can totally see that scene.
To say that I have issues with this is an understatement. I can't really force myself to continue this any longer; it saddens me because the idea and premise is so good, but the execution does it nothing but shame.
The writing does not have the same pacing and quality as the first story, that's for certain. I feel like I'm reading scenes that have been thought up by someone who is too young to know all that much about the experiences of life; the birthday scene in particular here is just, like, wtf? We get that her brother is a dick an all but to have him show up out of the literal shadows like some arch-villian just to ruin his sister's lame 6th birthday party is just too absurd for how this story should have played out. And don't even get me started on Twilight and Discord just randomly popping into scene unexpectedly; Spikes reaction to someone so integreal to his previous life alone is just another 'wtf' moment. One last thing that I have a major issue with is that in the previous story, you made it a point that Spike had been alive for well over 6000 years; yet here he is basically acting like a preteen when his mental state should be that of one who's endured centuries.
Hopefully this all gets cleaned up; like I said the premise is really cool but the way it's written and played out leaves too much to be desired.
Ok, I actually laughed at that.
Why would he lie?
No way.
I’m sorry, what spell?
Does it have something to do with them being reincarnations?
Doesn’t she already know?
Who’s aunt smog?
It is... too strange for Discord and Twilight to be thousands of years old and has the language of a teenager.
You know the brat is in trouble when the literal princess of friendship calls you a piece of shit.