Named
Ponyville town hall was decked out in beautiful white bunting with blue, yellow, and mint green roses. Hundreds of ponies were gathered within. Sat in the audience was practically everypony in town, as well as a few visitors – including the Princesses themselves. Glorious sunshine poured through the windows onto the stage.
Upon the stage stood the blessedly betrothed couple, Lyra and Bon Bon. Between them, officiating the ceremony, stood the Mayor.
At this very moment, the Mayor indicated Lyra. “Lyra, if you would like to say your vows?”
Lyra looked deep into her beloved Bon Bon's eyes. “I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. In the sight of the Sun and the Moon, I, Princess Lyra Heartstrings, take you–”
“What?” exclaimed Bon Bon, followed by quickly covering her mouth with a hoof.
Lyra paused. "Er. Bonny?"
“Sorry! Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, honey.”
“It’s okay. I–”
“It's just, like, how long have you been a princess?”
Lyra blinked. “What? I'm not a princess.”
“You're not?”
“Of course not. Why would I even be a princess?”
“Then why did you…” Bon Bon checked herself. “You know what, never mind. Carry on.”
“You're sure about that?”
“Yes, yes, absolutely sure. Please.”
The mayor and hundreds of gathered attendees – including at least four actual princesses – waited patiently, if nervously and with a little confusion.
Lyra resumed. “I, Princess Lyra Heartstrings, take–”
“So you are a princess?” interrupted Bon Bon.
“What?”
“You just said it.”
“Said... my name?” asked Lyra.
“You said ‘princess’.”
“Yes. My name.”
“Your name, and also the word ‘princess’,” insisted Bon Bon.
“That’s…” Lyra closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Bon Bon. Bonny, darling. We've been going out for nine years now, right?”
“Something like that, yes?”
“So I really hesitate to ask this, but... do you know what my name is?”
Bon Bon squinted. “Of course I do. Your name’s Lyra Heartstrings. I mean, you just said it out loud.”
“No, I... well, yes, but also no.”
“Huh?”
“I’m Princess Lyra Heartstrings.”
“So you are a princess?”
“No, I'm not a princess. My name is Princess Lyra Heartstrings.”
“It is?” Princess Lyra nodded. “Since when?”
“Since always! That has always been my name. How do you not know that?”
“Why did you never tell me?”
“I did. Lots of times! I must have. Right?”
“I'm fairly sure I'd remember if you ever told me that your name was 'Princess'. I mean, what sort of parents name their foal ‘Princess’?”
Mrs. Heartstrings, sitting in the front row less than two ponylengths from the couple, was about to interject until her husband corked her with a hoof.
“Really ambitious ones,” replied Princess Lyra with a sideways glance into the audience. “You’ve heard of ponies calling their foals Duke or Earl, haven’t you?”
Prince Blueblood shifted uneasily in his seat.
“Sure I have, but not Princess.”
“Look, I don't tend to use that name, for obvious reasons, but I must have mentioned it to you at some point in the last decade. I must have said something like, ‘I can’t believe my parents called me Princess’ or something like that.”
“No, not a single time. I'm pretty darned sure I’d remember if you had.”
A mother in the third row covered her foal's ears.
“You know what,” said Bon Bon. “I'm fine with this. It’s just your name. It doesn’t matter. Carry on. Go ahead.”
“You’re sure?” Princess Lyra asked. Bon Bon nodded decisively. “Okay then.” She took another deep breath and resumed her vows. “I, Princess Lyra Heartstrings, take you, Bon Bon Fondant, to be my–”
“Um, actually,” interjected Bon Bon with a sheepish expression. “Sorry, sorry to stop you again, but um…”
“Seriously?” asked Princess Lyra.
“It's just that, uh, my name isn't actually Bon Bon.”
“Oh, for the love of Celestia…” Princess Lyra drooped her head.
Celestia coughed pointedly. Princess Lyra flinched nervously. The mayor took a careful step back, putting a little distance between her and the couple just in case.
“I mean, uhm…” Princess Lyra gathered her wits. “Your name isn’t really Bon Bon?”
Bon Bon pressed her hooves together. “Yeah, uh… So, um, you know how I told you that the job I had before we met was, uh, a little more dangerous than being a sweet shop owner?”
“Right. They had a bunch of factory safety violations, you said.”
“Yeah, so, uh... as it turns out that wasn't quite the full story…”
Raven Inkwell whispered something urgently to Celestia, then Celestia quickly stood up. “Ahem!” she declared.
The mayor took several more cautious steps away from the couple.
“We do hereby grant Miss Bon Bon Fondant special royal dispensation to be married under her current given name,” Celestia said in a hurry. “And to discuss any further matters IN PRIVATE.”
Princess Lyra looked closely at Bon Bon. Then at the princess. Then back at Bon Bon.
Bon Bon very pointedly did not look at Princess Lyra at all.
“Later,” Princess Lyra whispered.
Celestia looked at the mayor. “Madam Mayor, I believe the ceremony can now resume?”
“Of course,” said the mayor nervously.
“Unless anypony else thinks this is the perfect time to declare their true identity?” asked Princess Lyra.
Ditzy Doo started to raise her hoof, but Dinky pulled it down with a shake of her head.
Turning back to Bon Bon, Princess Lyra rushed through her vows one more time. “I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. In the sight of the Sun and the Moon,” Princess Lyra cast a nervous glance at the row where the two princesses were sat, “I, Princess Lyra Heartstrings, take you–”
“I'm not Mayor Mare!” shouted the mayor.
“Now? Really?” exclaimed Princess Lyra.
The mayor was briefly engulfed with green fire, revealing her changeling form. “I've been impersonating the mayor for five months now!” the changeling shouted. She stood with her eyes closed, trembling, expecting retribution.
“Yes, we all know that,” insisted Princess Lyra, “but can we please finish this wedding?”
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Fun little story!
I would like to take this opportunity to announce that my name is not actually RB, but is, in fact, Reluctus Brontsworth. Shocking, I know.
Very cute story! Lyra is a real princess in our hearts. Best of luck in the contest!
It's not a proper wedding without the sudden but inevitable changeling surprise!
Very cute story
11610004
Amen to that!
11610003
I thought it was Radical Brontosaurus...
This was so dumb and kept a stupid grin on my face the entire time.
Derpy!
Seriously. WHY is Celestia here? It's what ruined Slice of Life. Characters who literally had zero business being there, were at Cranky and Matilda's wedding. Now it's happening again
.
11610487
So, comedy factor aside....
Cranky and Matilda were both independently invited to the Gala. As neither particularly seems to be nobility, it's plausible thqt they just.... y'know.... are friends of hers?
Similar thing here. Bonnie is a former agent of Celestia's. Lyra is anformer student of hers, albeit not a personal one. And Lyra was one of Cadance's bridesmaids, which would imply that between being friends with Cadance and Twi both, she probably has some pretty posh contacts herself.
So I'd say that, again, she's probably there because she likes the couple of honor, with Luna tagging along to get out of the castle ajd socialize.
"What?! But I'm... I'm an evil, chameleonic, soul-sucking monster who sees every pony as either a pawn or something to be consumed! I intend to drain your love, your life and everything that makes you you! I'm-"
"A politician - we know. Now, the wedding?"
That was quite the story and it was funny in the end
"Thankfully, my sister remembered to bring the gift this time."
"I did? Oh, yes. Of course. Just one moment. I'll be right back."
11610487
Don't you think it is adorable to watch a little pony wedding? I think it is adorable, and I'm not even Celestia.
At bare minimum it's her chance to hold Princess Luna's hoof and stare at her in a completely platonic manner (like she did in a show)
11610487 You mean why would she attend the wedding of one of her personal students?
hehe that was amusing
That ending got me, well played.
This should have been part of the episode!
Greetings. Your reading has been completed and can be found below. I hope you enjoy.
This was amazing! Loved every minute.
aww good color combination!
Bon Bon has learned better from the years she has known Lyra!
ahaha so true
hehe love Equestrian swearing
absolutely love “Bon Bon Fondant” as Bon Bon’s full name
hehehe, also love the switchover to “Princess Lyra” at every instance
oh Celestia, never change!
dang, there sure are a lot of ponies with multiple names!
love this vow, btw
aww, love it! also fun commentary on how nopony cares about whatever these background ponies are up to. just a delightful slice of LyraBon, thank you for writing!
I imagine this kind of thing comes up rather often in Canterlot.
Sweetie DropsBon Bon just never encountered it in the halls of S.M.I.L.E. (Besides, most ponies there used codenames anyway.)Also, I’m sure She of the Seven Bubbles can fit in her thrilling identity reveal later this week.
Delightful, adorable little comedy. Excellent work in getting that many jokes in a single kiloword without ever feeling rushed. Thank you for it and congrats on the bronze.
Hahaha, oh jeez. Name confusion exceptionally well done. n_n
You can has review!
11610487
What's the population? Are there so few ponies that Celestia can visit every wedding?
Hello! A slightly belated courtesy note for my review. Light-hearted silliness -- and sometimes, that's just what I need. Have a like!
Princess Celestia sighed. “We do hereby grant this changeling the official powers of office necessary to officiate this wedding.” She looked at the changeling. "There, all nice and official now, no worries about it getting annulled later."
The changeling looked around at all the increasingly impatient wedding guests. "Oh. Uh. Right. You're sure you don't just want to... do it yourself or something?"
"No. I'm a guest. Get on with it."