• Member Since 5th Jun, 2015
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Shrink Laureate

“Trixie hates to interrupt a good monologue,” said Trixie, interrupting a good monologue, “but maybe we should continue it somewhere not on fire?”


Princesses Celestia and Luna would quite like to retire, now that Twilight Sparkle's ready to take the throne. But Twilight doesn't seem to have gotten the message.

Reading by Straight To The Point Studio

Thanks to Solstice Shimmer and MitchH for putting up with my random thoughts.

Cover image: this + this

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

A fine story. You do very good Luna-speak.

This makes a frankly terrifying amount of sense. Very well done. (Though I do have to wonder what it was about the modern era that made Luna want to leave the throne so soon after returning.)

Still hate their retirement...... -_-

“The Element-bearers have simply returned them to the tree where they belong. It’s an act of mercy.”

“’Tis reneging on a deal. We traded fairly for those six enchanted baubles, and now it has stolen them back. We are of half a mind to turn that jumped-up lichen into firewood.”

“We even got the Tree of Harmony to build her a brand new castle, and what does she do? She turns it into a library!”

I cannot help but suspect both events may be closely related. :rainbowlaugh:
As in "Fuck you too, Lulu."

Frighteningly plausible, and extraordinarily funny! :trollestia:

“Thank the stars, she took it.”

“With a device to control the sun and moon in her hooves, she has no excuse to call on us.”

“Indeed. Art thou packed for our ‘holiday’, sister?”

“I am. And the palace guards and servants have all been told that we’ll be away for a while.”

“Then let us be away. If we make haste, I wager we can reach Griffonstone ere she notices.”

Keep dreaming you two.

Hah, nice. :D

Wonderful stuff! Just wish it had gone a little longer.

It all makes sense, now! :twilightoops:


Season 9 must be officially revised so the princesses don't retire, among other things. You all know damn well that has to happen. Join the Same My Little Pony campaign. Check out @SaveMLP on Facebook and Twitter and sign the petition below. Help save the franchise from Hasbro's stupid decisions.

At last, everything makes sense.

the show is over, man.
You have to let it go

Wait, you have to wonder? I mean as a human I've gone through tape cassettes, vinyl, cd/dvd, blueray/sd/mp3, Betamax, vhs, laserdisc. Let alone computers that used to be cludgy as all get to now phones that exceed said computers in power. That's in just the last 40 years. Try and imagine 1000 and the culture shock is staggering. The fact that Luna can be understood at all, considering the colloquialisms of her tongue, is a testament to how little the language has drifted. I mean Ye old English is extremely hard for modern people to understand even if it can be generally read.

I know if I had a chance to ditch being under a microscope and trying to finish the backlog of books alone sometime this century Id give up the crown.

One word.


The language has drifted not at all, and Luna just likes the affectation. For proof, look at the Pillars, who all speak modern Equestrian perfectly well despite being incommunicado for about as long as Luna.

The duo really should had just laid the whole "princess responsibility" right after Season 3 instead of being subtle. The hints just kept flying over Twilight's fan worshipping head. When Season 9 came and the retirement announcement came, no wonder she is still surprised.

I always hated this premise. I thought the point would be divide up the status among an increasing number of Alicorns. They didn't try to dump the entire Kingdom on Cadence after all.

I always assumed after a hundred years or so the princesses would get board of "Retirement" and beg to "do princess stuff" again and Twilight would happily arrange for them all to take turns, as solo rule would have gotten a little stressful on her too.

Well, this explanation makes about as much sense as season nine ever possibly could. Though I would note that Twilight's quiz meltdown came after the princesses announced their retirement. Not sure if the anachronism there was on purpose or not.

Damn it! Er...

...scrambles for retroactive justification...

Here we go. In Oliver's points of canon post for that episode, he says:

  • Chronology markers: Spike has wings, requiring Molt Down. The Beginning of the End is referenced, which would force this episode into Season 9, but is not a hard lock. Mudbriar’s presence requires it to at least postdate his introduction in Maud Couple. This could fall through into Season 8 if required to explain Twilight’s mental state transitions with a coherent theory.

So, yeah, clearly that's what I've done there. Totally deliberate.

This will be the most trying post of your career soldier. You will follow the Princess with this tranq rifle. At the first sign of her going into a panic attack hit her in the neck. If we ever find you using the bullets recreationally you will be relieved of duty and possibly be sent into rehab.

10812008 10811974

Moving from a diarchy to an Alicorn Triarchy or Quadarchy (If cadence counts) could have solved some of the problems

Ri2 #26 · May 12th, 2021 · · 1 ·

Cadance already has a full-time job as the figurehead of a small city-state in the distant north.

The thing abut Immortals, sometimes it takes decades to realize your choices were not the best.

I've seen some theorise that they said the princesses were retiring because to a mortal subject it would seem like it, whilst for an immortal, you can take a 100 year vacation.

It can take me decades to realise I've made bad choices. Does that mean I'm immortal?

10812274 Oh really? How many immortals have you known?

Well, aside from me. :trixieshiftright:

10812287 I shall have to test you... *whacks you repeatedly with a wet lasagna noodle* Yep, yer immortal! :pinkiecrazy:

Every single moment of this fic is pure gold! The reactions, the drama, the comedic inputs, oh man! Literally everything about this story is very believable and it's more than just a treat to enjoy! It's spectacular! Hopefully, the reading for this lives up to just how amazing this story is!

Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/iCCZjMLW08Y

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

A very very terrifying amount of sense as I sit here lmfao. 9/10 Excellent job woulda read it sooner but front page didn't tell me it was completed or a oneshot.

I could see Twilight setting up some sort of representative republic level of government so she can focus less on governance. Then Celestia and Luna sitting somewhere else reading this and realizing that Twilight found a way to keep doing what she loves.

10813949 The government in Equestria doesn't appear to do all that much to begin with. They mostly seem to oversee things and sort out problems ponies come to them with. Local officials look like they manage the affairs pretty much by themselves with little input from central authority.

But of course they all fall flat on their faces when Celestia and Luna show up. Moving the Sun and Moon tend to have that affect.

10813949 "Sister, we hath a letter from your student. She is inviting us to Canterlot to participate in court."

"Oh, no. Not a chance. I'm working on my tan."

"Not a full Royal Court," corrected Luna as she read. "It would be very small. Nine members, to be exact, and none of them her."

"She's not going to be at court?" Celestia arranged her reflector to get more sunlight under her chin. "Good. She must be too busy actually ruling."

"Actually, she's setting up something called..." Luna carefully phrased the odd word. "Parle-lee-ment. Are you certain we should turn down her invitation, Celly? At least one of us should attend, and it might as well be both so we don't have to describe it back and forth afterward. The letter says it would be most excellent. A supreme court is her exact phrasing."



Then they find out Twilight made the job for life and alicorns can’t retire.

. . . Yes they did. In her second appearance ever, no less.


You can blame the show for that.

"Ah yes, Twilight, since you are a alicorn, have a student, and have mastered friendship, I will retire now. Bye."

Chalk it up to the show's identity crisis. Sometimes the "hasbro kids advertisement" element kicks in and stuff like this just happens.

The level of snark in this story is over 9000, and it's a grand lot over 9000.

“We had a coronation! Cheering crowds, livery, the works. How much more of a hint does she need?”

Many many many hints.

Also 100/10 for the Luna dialect going completely off the rails.

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