• Member Since 5th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 41 minutes ago

Shrink Laureate


Oh, did I say that out loud?


T

Seeking shelter from a storm, a pony chances upon a small cave, but finds it already occupied by a gryphon. Despite fear and mistrust, the two of them must share it until morning.


Many, many thanks to Solstice Shimmer for ideas, commentary and feedback.
Edited by PoisonClaw, sevenofeleven and Pascoite.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

“There are times when a fic so perfectly encompases the meaning of Friendship is Magic that it becomes easy to believe that the writer is a nom de plume of one of the show's writers.”

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 25 )

You do know if u wanted this would make a good horror fic plotline

Great story! loved it!:pinkiehappy:

P.S. sequel? (I wanna know how the bake-off ends!)

Zal

This is my frist comment on the site and I am makeing it because this story deserves it. I really enjoyed reading this its just really enjoyable and I liked it a lot.

Thank you! For a nervous new writer, that means a lot.

I'm currently working on some improvements based on feedback I've got. They won't fundamentally change the story, just tighten it up slightly.

6999685
I may do something with the same characters in the future, but not a direct continuation. I think the uncertainty is an important part of the story. Being told that things work out well in a story is easy; having the resolve to do them when you don't know is hard.

"Do or do not. There is no try." -- I wonder how many iterations that line of the script went through before they were happy with it?

Some edits have been published.

What a lovely pair of characters, symmetrical in ways that make you think. I really enjoyed this story. :)

Reminded me a little the predator-prey issue from Zootopia.

Very nice - compact, good characters, good pace.

heard stories that before that, gryphons would sometimes hunt ponies as prey.

...and for some reason she found this oddly alluring. :trollestia:

“Only a couple of times, really, and I never hung around. I always though you just preferred not to eat meat, but that was... weird.

Brulee face-hooved, "And when was the last time you saw a deer chomping down on a wolf."

Silly uneducated beakies, not knowing what an herbivore is. :trollestia:

That, that he can’t just trot into somepony’s life and... fix it for them.”

That's what money's for!

Money solves everything! *throws money at a giant asteroid about to hit Earth* We'll be fine no-*KABOOM!!!*

And Gosling will still be a... a little predator in a room full of prey.”

Brulee found her breath catching... oh how she wished a big, huge predator had swaggered into her class and fixed its glorious hungry eyes upon- "Ava... would you consider possibly eating me alive while telling me sweet nothings?"

Ava blinked, "All the ponies in this cave are crazy!"

Brulee ermed, "But I'm the only pony in he-"

"MY POINT STANDS!!"

:trollestia:

Brûlée tried not to think of the implications of a word like ‘ladyhunter’ in a romantic context...

...but she failed. "Mmmmmm... a big handsome griffon hunting me..." Brulee drooled. :rainbowwild:

Ava tried to slide back even further from the obviously deranged and possibly rabid pony. :rainbowlaugh:

Brûlée watched the bloody show for a few moments, horrified to realise that the gryphon actually had a line of sharp little teeth inside her beak,

It was then that Brulee realized griffons were, in fact, xenomorphs. She then found out Ava had implanted her with a facehugger during the night. :trollestia:

Logic insisted that a creature would inevitably return to its nature, regardless of how much it stood to gain from not doing so.

Actually, that's not logic, if I might be semi-serious for a moment. That's actually a highly presumptuous notion which ignores direct evidence of individual differences in temperament, the effects of differing evolutionary pressures upon behavior, the effect of environmental upbringing influencing development, and the significant effects of possessing a sapient mind capable of performing conscious and cognizant thought processes rather than relying entirely upon emotion.

There are a number of bird species which dramatically depart from basic instinctual behaviors when presented with a more optimal set of circumstances. Crows, African Grey parrots, and keas have shown an extraordinary level of adaptability... in the keas' case even to the point of learning predatory behaviors to take advantage of slow, stupid sheep in New Zealand.

Intelligence permits an animal to behave in manners far exceeding an baseline instinctual response. Logic accounts for this in any process of analyzing and forming decisions about a creature's behavioral tendencies.

I am a super-genius and know this instinctually. :trollestia:

7103772

"Mmmmmm... a big handsome griffon hunting me..." Brulee drooled. :rainbowwild:

Hey! Stop pornographising my characters. I'm saving that for the sequel. :twistnerd:

An enjoyable read. I like the concept and the characters. The predator-prey dynamic is something I think a lot of people overlook. Ponies are, technically, a prey animal, but usually get written as dominant omnivores. (like humans.) Many stories would me greatly improved, I think, by acknowledging the actual position in the food web that ponies would naturally occupy.

I will say the ending left me wanting a bit. This reads more like a prologue than an independent story. As a prologue, though, it would certainly get me reading the rest.

As for the writing itself, You're pretty good at remembering little details, but you do miss* some of the macro stuff.
I think it could do with a good bit more granular detail, as that helps a lot with immersion.
(*Or possibly fail to explain/mention it.)

Overall, I like it. Keep up the good work.

7128794

Ponies are, technically, a prey animal, but usually get written as dominant omnivores. (like humans.)

As depicted in the show, there aren't many natural predators around that ponies need to be afraid of, at least in the civilised areas. Outside of the settled lands, things can get more hairy. We've seen various large and dangerous creatures both in the badlands, and closer to home in the Everfree forest, quite close to Ponyville.

static.dhne.ws/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/0.jpg

There's a clear ecological difference between the settled and wild areas of the world, even when they're close together. This suggests that, as part of their prehistory, the ponies successfully exterminated or drove away a lot of the pre-existing megafauna.

This isn't at all unlike humans, who wiped Europe, Asia and the Americas clean of a great many big, dangerous creatures as they spread. And it wasn't even an organised campaign, we did it inadvertently. As climates changed, we adapted faster than they did. But even now, if you were faced with a saber-toothed tiger, and hadn't brought modern weapons and armour with you, you wouldn't be top of the food chain very long. Humans didn't climb all the way to the top of tree; we just chopped the top of the tree down.

I have a future story planned that goes into the history of gryphon-pony relations, and why predation is no longer a thing.

7128933 I didn't mean they are currently being preyed upon. They once were a prey animal and would still have the inbuilt instincts of one. Especially considering the ultra dangerous fauna of the world they inhabit. Humans still exhibit many instinctual behaviors that are entirely unhelpful in modern society.

Human psychology is founded in predation. Not from the top, but pretty close. Ponies would be much farther down the ladder. But at the end of the day, you are writing your world and you should write it your way. Still a good story.

(I hope I don't come across as preachy or argumentative. I'm just trying to clarify what I was getting at.)

Oh, I totally agree. A lot of the herd behaviour we see from ponies - even in the TV show - can be seen in that light. For example, the way Ponyville collectively shunned Zecora is exactly the way a herd huddles together as protection from a predator. Twilight is an exception in that case because: 1. she's spent her life to that point in Canterlot, far away from anything dangerous; 2. she's really really powerful, even before her ascension; and 3. she's used to working alone. She doesn't know fear the way a typical pony does.

At the same time though, humans have more in common with that herd mentality than is commonly understood. We tend to assume that humans are top of the food chain, and Hollywood has popularised the strong, solitary, lone wolf protagonist since before films were in colour. But early humans survived by working together more than by individual strength, and a lot of our social instincts are founded in that. It's interesting to explore the psychological aspects of a sapient prey creature precisely because it's not so entirely alien.

I would imagine, in the far distant future when we finally get out to exploring space, that we won't meet many tiger equivalent species in the black. Even if top-tier carnivores evolved the intelligence needed to achieve such things as space flight, they'd have a much harder time collaborating socially because they don't have an evolutionary history of it. A grand endeavour, like a space rocket or a massive stone pyramid, can only be achieved collectively. Ponies in space I can totally believe - they'd probably favour larger world ships with nature-like environment inside.

I'm glad to see that many are liking this story:twilightsmile:
(To everyone that is reading this; keep an eyes on this author. There's plenty more where this came from:rainbowdetermined2:)

Hey, nice story. I enjoyed it plenty. Here's a thing I noticed:
"... asked Ava sceptically." I think you mean skeptically.

7410619 That's just the preferred British spelling.

I feel that either British or American spelling is valid on an international site like this, but each story should be consistent. Since I'm never going to adjust to American spellings of eg "armour", I stick to British throughout.

Except for the word "manoeuvre", that I simply cannot get right in either form.

I was pretty sad to see it end there. I was really enjoying these characters.

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