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To rise against the tyrant. To taste victory. To become what you hated. He had experienced that loop and, given this chance, he would do it right this time. He would turn his suffering people on a better path from its tyrant, Queen Chrysalis.
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Hmm. Let's see how this goes. It has been done before, a few times but I would like to see of this one goes in a new direction. Most of the time they go for a new monarchy but I would not be opposed to seeing a democracy, limited democracy with perception as a dictator, or maybe even a communist type state with Perception as the "Glorious Leader"
11285804
Your comment, with your avatar, is an amazing fit.
Oh. this, this I will be watching....
Love the story so far, but this kind of looks like he telling her that the overseer is wrong.
Other than that, this looks great! I'll probably toss this on my list for email notifications
11285929
I havent read the atory yet but theres enough context in that snippet to say thus;
He says "Of course" because of the trick question. Chrysalis is likely baiting him into saying "No" to her, which would be punished because you dont say No to the Queen. So instead he ignores the contradiction and says yes, his overseer is right
11286141
Wouldn't a smarter answer be "Of course I'm up for the task" or even "He isn't wrong"? He was asked a question, his response should answer it.
It's a trick question, but answering yes or no will always be wrong, Chrysalis can either spin it as him not being up to the task or as the overseer being wrong. Better to just be specific instead of not answering the question that was asked.
11286146
Its never reakly that simple when dealing with superiors. Especially ones that can kill you at the deop of a hat id they decide to. Being specific can be seen as speaking out of turn. You are asked a yes or no question, you give a yes or no answer. Anything more is too much.
Again, just by the snippet it looks like she's baiting him into a "No, Your Highness" response, which is a humongous no-no. Its better to say "Of course". Note he didnt say "Yes". Of course is a safe, general answer. Yes is too certain.
11286146
The need to keep brief.
11286153
I see what you're saying and I can also tell this won't be going anywhere, so I'll just leave my final thought here.
I know that it's a trick question and she's trying to bait him, the story literally states it and it's clearly implied even if it wasn't stated, my problem is simply that the question is "Is the overseer wrong" and he replies with an affirmative. Regardless of anything else, he implied that the overseer was wrong there, which was exactly what he was trying to avoid.
11286159
You can keep brief and still be clear, like I said "Of course not, Your Royal Highness" would only be slightly longer and actually answer the question
11286160
Ok lemme try to explain, this'll be my last if you dont get it, well...
The question is phrased as thus:
I have an important job, and your overseer says you're up for the task. Is he wrong?
Now, there's actually three ways to answer that. Yes, he is wrong. No, he isn't wrong. The third option could be described as simply acknowledging what is said.
It's not a maybe, ita not a yes, and its not a no. Its a non-answer.
See the thing with saying "Of course", is that it is not a yes.
By saying "Of course" he isn't responding to the question of "Is he wrong?" He's instead acknowledging the entire phrase. He's saying "Of course" to affirm what the Overseer said, while also affirming what she said. But he's not saying "yes".
Let me put it in another way. A child known for lying runs up to you, he has red paint on his hands. He says to you, "Sister drew red paint on the wall! Are you going to punish her?"
You respond with, "Of course". You're not saying yes, you're acknowledging his sentence, because you haven't yet made a decision because you don't know the full story.
It's harder to get things such as this across in text, but think of it like sarcasm. Easier to understand heard, not written.
Also to reiterate, if he said "Of course not", he'd be saying no, or it would be perceived as such, and you just don't so that
11286263
Just want to say I've understood exactly what you're saying from your first comment. I'm not an idiot, and I blatantly stated that I understood your point from my first reply, so that comment was completely excessive. I just disagree on a fundamental level. "of course" is most often used as a yes (as I've said), or at least can be interpreted as such. You basically say that yourself by saying "of course not" is, or can be perceived as, no, which is exactly what I have been saying. Anyways, if the character wanted a non-answer, "understood" would work far better while also making sense for a more militaristic setting. On top of all that, you can say no to superiors in the military, you are literally told to say "Yes, Sir/Ma'am" or "No, Sir/Ma'am," so you're as close to being wrong as you really can be there.
Not only that, but in your example, I completely would see that as saying yes. To me, that looks like the person is saying it's a given the sister will be punished. In fact, I can almost never think of a situation where "of course" can be interpreted as a vague answer unless it isn't answering the question at all which is a horrendous idea here. If they're saying it sarcastically, or something similar, then it should be written as such because otherwise, situations like this happen.
This is my last comment here because I was initially simply offering my view and all of this has been way too much discussion for a single line, so I won't reply to any more comments on this line.
As a representative of the dictatorship of readers I demand more! Lol I had too
I had vibes of playing Tropico reading this.
Rebel against the crown, set up your own pony town, then build nukes to keep the enemy from burning you down!
11286307
Final comment just to say that i wasn't trying to imply you were an idiot or anything of that like, i misunderstood your comment as saying you didnt understand and so was trying to make one final comment to try to see if i could explain it better. I apologise.
Edit: I see my entire comment chain got dislikes for no reason...
11286706
You did imply that with the first line of the giant comment, and I don't really see many other interpretations of that, but I vaguely see where you were coming from (even if I think you're objectively wrong). The dislikes aren't for no reason, it's a simple expression of agreement/disagreement, so it just means they disagree with you.
ok this is intresting i will be keeping an on this to see where it goes.
I'm interested to see where this goes. Please continue!
More please?
If you need an OC for this story, just let me know via PM.
11303151
More is coming. The patron is covering one a month.
Given what I know of the history of dictators IRL, PG seems particularly competent. Then again, the perspective of it being his second time around probably helps.
11312447
What is he, Chrysalis?
11312462
She does set a rather low bar, doesn't she?
Yay update! Good chapter!
I’m hooked into this intrigue. Will things for the better, or take a turn for the worse… I hope for the better!
11312469
Couldn’t be! Chrysalis’ only friend was a singular log.
Way to let slip that the changelings don't need any more convincing...
11335906
Hm? If they agree, or not, either way, we've left canon behind. Canon does not have Celestia and Chrysalis having a round two while changelings fight changelings. Whatever happens here is new territory. Not sure how I spoiled anything.
11335911
...oh. Right. Never mind!
Thanks again D-S for another amazing chapter. This chapter was really exciting and I am even more excited to see what happens next with Perceptions attempted coup of Chrysalis now out in the open. I'm excited to see where you take this story and how it will deviate from cannon from here one. Good luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.
The POV character has a very "Revolutionary" Attitude and I hope he creates an interesting form of government
This would be EASY to do if Chrysalis is as dumb as in the show. Just slip into the city with her, wait until she's alone with Shining... then STABBITY STABBITY STABBITY!!
Or slip some DDT into her drink. Because bug.
11336139
She is no smarter than usual, I hope I showed? But she is powerful, as she is in the show, drunk on the power of Shining's love. If he attacked her while alone, there's a good chance he would be splattered, and that would be the end of the coup. He went for a safer route. She's hiding as royalty. If I went the poison route, by all rights, royal people have protection against that. Yay tasters!
11336142 Ah, but that which poisons bugs may not poison ponies!
Hence, DDT!!
Likes the fast storyline. Other changling stories take forever to betray Chrysalis.
Too bad I don't have the money for more chapters a month.
11339436
The majority of the story is about aftermaths. This is setup, so I am keeping it brisk.
Chrysalis/Chrysalys?
11346699
Fixed
Can't wait for more
11336684
You're forgetting DDT seriously fucks humans up pretty badly, too. Along with eagles, and tons of other life forms for dozens of generations once that shit is in the food chain.
11360838
Mistakes may or may not have been made. How's the chappy?
11360856
It was was a rather fun ride.
Also, somehow, I suspect that Luna and Mirage would get along pretty well...
tenuous
11361082
Fixed. How was the chappy?
Chappy was goody
11361192
Found another after rereading with more sleep
friends
Good, liked that they were able to selectively expel the changelings loyal to chrysalis better than what I was expecting to happen.
The usual speculation puts it as a love wave which throws all the changelings out of the city, in many fics this results in changelings being injured even if they were not of chrysalis's hive yet in this one it was able to have pipbuck level friend or foe handling even with changelings changing sides by the second.
I like the outcome better but I don't like the mechanism as it doesn't seem straightforward to explain.
Celestia comes off as rather harsh, she denied his request outright and did not suggest an alternative, he tried to but was then dismissed.
11362126
Did she? I thought she was making it clear she couldn't allow a not-equestrian city in the middle of Equestria.
But an Equestrian city? Not so many complaints...
11362126
Shoot, sorry for responding twice to the same thing, but it was a matter of will, as most magic is. Their wish was for Chrysalis to buzz off. Chryssie and those on her side were shoved away. Those not on her side were left behind.
Mind, not on her side doesn't need they're eager to be a part of whatever Perception Gap has in mind...
This is the start, not the end.
If you need an OC for this story, just let me know via PM.
(Don't know if you saw the last one)