Why Would You Expect Anything Else?
Twilight stared blankly at the test results floating before her, her muzzle crinkled in bemusement. Her ears drew back. Her left eye twitched every so often. “Are you sure this is accurate?” she said.
“I’m c-certain, your h-highness,” answered the doctor, a distressed earth pony with a lemon colored mane and tangerine coat, shaking on her hooves. She cowered before Twilight like a prostrating worshiper about to be struck down by a mercurial goddess. Taking a single step back she bumped her rear into the door of the Princess’s study. Her eyes scanned the small room as if searching for an escape.
Princess Twilight, for her part, found this display of fear irritating to her senses. She let out a quiet sigh and schooled her face to something more pleasant and diplomatic. “Citrus, please, try to relax. I’m not upset with you. I’m just confused.”
Citrus’ thick knees knocked together with a loud clack, the echo deafening in the small chamber. “I-I understand your h-highness,” she said, her teeth chattering. “I-I’m always t-this n-nervous.”
This is the premiere expert in genetics in Equestria? Good grief. Resisting the growing urge to slam her hoof through her face, Twilight waved the sheet of paper in her magic, then gestured to a nearby armchair. “Of course, I understand. Shall we go over this, please?”
“Of c-course,” replied the doctor as as she jerked forward and collapsed into the armchair.
Twilight let out another small, barely audible sigh and plopped herself down in her own chair behind the desk. “So, let’s start with the basics.”
Citrus leaned forward and hunched over the desk. “S-so, um, as you’d expect, the vast majority of your DNA is equus sapiens unicornis, specifically from the ethnic groups of High Unicornia and Canterlot dominions. House Sparkle has been around for a v-very long t-time, after all.”
Twilight nodded. Now that they were getting into some details, her initial bemusement had transformed into academic curiosity. “Right, that makes sense. My mother can track our lineage back all the way to the first few generations after Princess Platinum.” Rolling her eyes, she muttered under her breath, “Not that she cares about it, being too busy throwing herself over Neighagra Falls at least five times a day…”
The doctor’s right ear quirked up, a small grin briefly gracing her muzzle. “S-sounds like my brother. He’s such a d-daredevil. Likes to ski on the most treacherous of mountains.”
“Really?” Twilight said, arching an eyebrow. “Is his name Double Diamond by any chance?”
Citrus’ pupils shrank into teeny tiny dots, her mouth falling open. “H-how did you know that?”
Ha, score one for random guesses. Twilight amused herself by forming her mouth into an enigmatic smile, just like Celestia used to give her all the time. “I’m the Princess.”
A faint red blush blossomed on Citrus’ cheeks. “Wow… you’re even more incredible in p-person than I’d heard.”
Twilight managed to resist the temptation to snort. Barely. Maintaining her enigmatic smile, she said, “So, you were talking about the unicorn DNA.”
“Oh!” The geneticist shook her head rapidly, then focused on the paper sitting before her on the desk. “Y-yes, well, if we trace the equus sapiens unicornis DNA back to before the Exodus, we can see where it splits off from equus sapiens progenitrix. Your DNA in total is at least eighty percent unicornis, which is much more pure than most ponies these days.”
“Like I said, long lineage.” A dark frown twisted Twilight’s muzzle. “And a lot of my foremothers were… not as open-minded as I am.” A cold chill ran through Twilight when she remembered the first time she learned about her great-great to the nth something grandmother, who was infamous for her involvement in the brutal crackdown of earth pony rebellions back in the early days of Unicornia’s history, when it was split into many fiefdoms. Baroness Twinkle the Terrible, she was called, at least in some of the texts she’d read and promptly buried in the furthest depths of the Canterlot archives.
Along with the records of the other four or five dictators in her family’s history. Really it’s a wonder she didn’t turn out to be as insane as they were. Maybe Shining was right about her “Twilynanas” behavior being inherited. She should thank her lucky stars she hadn’t gone mad with power the instant Celestia and Luna handed over the reins.
“So, about the rest of it, then,” Twilight said. “That’s where I am… confused.” Confused was a good word. A diplomatic word. Much better than the word she wanted to use.
“Well,” Citrus said, scanning the page, “there is always going to be some amount of mixing from during the early parts of the Exodus. We’ve discovered that pony society was nearly driven to e-extinction and they had to work more closely together just to s-survive. That is why you have two percent equus sapiens terras and three percent equus sapiens pegasos DNA. It doesn’t surprise me at all.”
“No, no, that’s not what I’m talking about,” Twilight said with yet another quiet sigh. Hoo boy. “I understand all of that. What I don’t get is the last part. The remaining fifteen percent.”
Citrus swallowed, and Twilight could see the swallow running down her throat and into her belly. The poor nervous doctor tried to smile at her, but the strain and shakiness left it looking far more akin to her own mad grins back in the day than anything soothing. “Yes, I-I can see w-why that might confuse you. Though in your case it’s--about f-five fold or more, it is something we’ve noticed among many Canterlot unicorn families, suggesting a s-shared origin which may also explain the genetic drift that causes eastern unicorns in places such as Neighpon. I-It m-might also have to do with Discord’s r-reign--”
“Please, stop,” Twilight ordered, holding up a hoof for silence. Citrus immediately shut her mouth, trembling harder than ever. “I’m well aware of the theories. I helped write some of those back when I was Celestia’s student. You’re not telling me anything I don’t know. What I want to know is, is this accurate?”
Citrus’s eyes promptly rolled up into her skull, the poor mare toppling out of her chair, saved from cracking her skull on the marble flooring only thanks to a quick catch by Twilight’s field. She set the earth pony back down on the arm chair, hopped up to her hooves, and began practicing Cadance’s relaxation technique. In and out. Iiiiin and ooooout. I am calm. I am calm. I am not angry. I am calm.
Oh no I’m not calm this is absurd this is ridiculous it’s not that it offends me or it’s bad but it just doesn’t make sense how is it even possible--
No, no, no, Twilight. Twilight. Calm. Caaaaaaaaalllllllmmmmmmmmmmuh.
It’s fine. It’ll all be fine. Just because there’s no record historically whatsoever of how this is even possible or how I could ever have any family that I don’t know about or anything about the culture that I am apparently a small part of that’s perfectly fine I am not calm I’m not calm I’m not calm I’m upset I’m confused I’m freaking out I’m FREAKING OUT I’M “AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Twilight squealed as she clapped her forehooves to the side of her head.
She spent a couple of moments screaming to herself before her lack of breathing left her lightheaded. The rush interrupted her tirade just long enough for her to get enough of a grip. “No no no. I can be calm. I am the Princess of all Equestria. I may have only been on the job for three weeks but it’s fine. I can handle it!”
Thus determined, she spun on her heels, a determined, if strained, smile plastered onto her muzzle. Leaning down she aimed her horn squarely at the unconscious doctor and used a combination of Beating Heart’s Basic Bring Back to Consciousness and Erana’s Peaceful Tranquility to get Citrus both moving and calm enough to not pass out again.
Unfortunately she must’ve injected a bit too much of the latter spell, because once up Citrus smiled far too wide and started giggling like a loon. “Oh Princess, I’m so sorry I passed out like that,” she said between her laughs. “Oooh look at the room spin, hahaha! Where were we?”
This is why I tell Starlight not to use mind magic, Twilight thought as she gave in to her overwhelming urge to smack her face with her forehoof. She ignited her horn to exert just a small, eensy teensy amount of a nullification spell for the calm, and managed to bring Citrus down to a more manageable level. “I think,” she said, resuming her seat, “that you were just about to tell me if these results are accurate, and how?”
“Uh, well,” Citrus said, placing her forehooves on the desk. She’d stopped stammering, thank Celestia, and looked at Twilight like the professional she purported to be. “It is accurate, yes Princess. I ran the test at least six times. The results might be unusual, but I’m certain it’s correct.”
“But… how?” Twilight pressed. “I don’t understand.”
Citrus leaned over and placed her chin down on her left forehoof. “There’s very little historical data available during the years just before and after Discord’s reign, but what we do know is that it jumbled the population around quite a bit, as we can see in the genetic record. It’s really quite fascinating, you see--”
“I-I-I’m sure it is,” Twilight interrupted with a forced polite smile, “but you still haven’t explained how it’s possible.”
The doctor drew herself back, but unlike before she showed no sign of fear or trepidation. Instead one corner of her mouth quirked as if in amusement. “Same way as any other DNA would get into your family history, Princess. Simply put, somewhere in your family tree, there are at least six generations of Kirins.”
And there it was. The word finally said aloud, the word that confused Twilight so badly it left her head spinning. She was part Kirin. Part. Kirin. Fifteen percent, to be precise. Just enough to influence her magic. Just enough to explain… well, a lot.
Like her tendency to set herself on fire whenever she became too angry. Oh there was the time she tried to comprehend Pinkie’s Pinkie sense, but that was far from the only time it had happened.
In fact it might happen right now. The doctor’s candor set Twilight’s teeth on edge. Her muscles rippled with tension, her hackles raised.
“I don’t suppose there’s any way of tracking who I’m related to,” she said, her voice coming across as testy.
Citrus gave a gormless shrug. “We’d have to have a database of genetic samples from every Kirin in Equestria and more besides to get an idea of that. I doubt you’re that closely related to anyone around now. It was so long ago, Princess, that--”
“But you could do it,” Twilight growled through gritted teeth. “You could tell me who I’m related to. Who I can talk to. Who I need to start studying from to understand this bit of my family history I don’t know!”
“I suppose we could try,” Citrus said after a moment.
Two weeks later, Twilight found herself standing outside a gaily painted house bursting to life in such vivid reds and golds it filled her mouth with the taste of autumn itself, which to her always tasted like pumpkin pie. Or maybe it was the rising odor of pie drifting from the open window. The fact that she hadn’t had anything to eat during the twelve hours it took her to travel here didn’t help.
She raised her hoof to tap on the door, only for it to slam itself open against the wall, taking her with it. As the ever-familiar pain of blunt impact trauma filled her skull, legs, wings, and barrel, Twilight just held onto her temper. Just.
Then the door slammed shut, revealing a kirin with a coat of greyish gold and a fluffy, lion-like mane of tangelo orange. “Oh. My. Goodness! I’m so so sorry I didn’t see you there I was just coming out because I was so happy I was going to have company I made a pie you see and we’re going to have lots of fun chatting together I’m Autumn Blaze by the way, you’re Twilight Sparkle right you’re Applejack and Fluttershy’s friend oh we’re going to have so much fun together!”
The constant stream of noise wormed its way into Twilight’s ears as she became more and more enraged by the second until, finally, inevitably, a flash point was reached. She screamed at the top of her lungs as her whole body ignited, her coat burning white hot while her mane lashed out like a towering inferno.
For about five seconds.
And then she was doused, not by her own magic, but by Autumn dumping a bucket of water all over her. Trails of smoke billowed and curled into the air all around her as she stood there, her chest heaving as she scowled at Autumn with all of her hate, wishing like crazy that she’d learned some sort of death glare spell just so she could use it now. “You… I… why…”
Autumn set the bucket down with a loud clang and slung her foreleg around Twilight’s neck, pulling her in hard enough to cut off Twilight’s air. “Oh, you just needed to cool off a bit,” Autumn said cheerfully as she rubbed a forehoof on Twilight’s waterlogged mane, frizzing out her hair everywhere. “But don’t worry I know a whole lot of anger management techniques that’ll be great for handling that. I can see where you get your Kirin genes from now you looked just like a unicorn version of a Nirik it was sooo cool but so hot at the same time oh I don’t mean hot like you’re attractive I mean you are but I’m not saying I’m into you like that don’t misunderstand it’s just going to make things awkward if you do so maybe let’s go inside and have some food?”
Twilight struggled out of Autumn’s grip and let out a loud groan. “Yes. Let’s. Please.”
I'm sure this has been done, but here's my take anyway. 
Thank you to Rainstorm Riddles for proofreading assistance. Also thank you to Frustration in Excelsis for the suggestion to change equus avia to equus progenitrix.
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That, that makes more sense than it should.
Coincidentally, there is an add for various D.N.A. tests off to the side as I read this, odd.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/6/11/1459056/medium.png
15%, that's over 1/8
I thought that she was freaking out because she was part zebra before the kirin reveal.
I was torn between whether she was going to be part kirin or "100% that bitch". That reference is not old, but I suppose it is just a smidge too old to be the focus of a new fanfic.
Nicely done. I suggest a horizontal rule for the scene break though, immediately before "Two weeks later"
Pfft
10687611
Nah, that's not something I would've referenced. I didn't even know what that was till you said it.
10687615
I knew I was forgetting something.
Good idea, will do.
With this photo kinda expected Philomena would have been the ancestors she was weirded about. 😋
More please!
That... that makes waaaaaaay more sense than it should. Hilarious that she turns out to be the long-lost cousin.
Actually, I think I've only ever seen this concept tackled once before. Granted, there could be a few more similar stories that I'm just not aware of, but generally speaking, the "Twilight is part-kirin" headcanon has been surprisingly unexplored.
Either way, I'd say you did it justice. Kudos!
:)
Seriously? WHY is she so upset that she is part Kirin? It doesn't sound that bad? So, what the heck is her problem?! It's like her own Liberty got burn down or something to be this angry?
It CAN'T just be from the Kirin Genes. I'm glad that Autumn will give her Anger Management Classes. Because, Twilight is just being Angry from a ridiculous reason.
10687655
She's not upset that she's part Kirin. She's freaking out because it's something she didn't know about herself before, and it's such a bizarre, unexpected surprise that it's shocking to her. Not a bad shock necessarily, but Twilight's prone to reacting poorly to, well, everything.
Both times she became angry in this wasn't because of being part Kirin, but because of how frustrating the person she was dealing with was proving to be. The second time in particular because she gets door-slammed far too often, and then you have miss lovely chatterbox that is Autumn Blaze to boot.
10687653
Ah, I'm glad to see I wasn't just retreading old ground. Thank you.
10687659
Understandable. But, how would her Friends, Spike, her Parents and Brother, Celestia and Luna, Cadence, or the Young Six react? Even have Discord probably get a joke about this.
10687668
I think for the most part, it'd be a combination of "that explains a lot" and "well that's pretty neat." Discord would probably joke around with her about it, and Pinkie would probably throw some kind of "Congratulations on your newly discovered heritage!" party, but that's about it. Of her family, I think Night Light would be the most intrigued, from an academic standpoint. Twilight Velvet might use it as an excuse for more daredevilry. Shining could be curious to see whether or not it has any effects on his magic.
Basically, after the initial shock, they'd all be like "alrighty then" and move on, with only her direct family still exploring it for the sake of how it affects them.
Interesting. It makes sense, but I wonder if Celestia always knew?
10687672
That's it! After they found out. They just "Alrighty Then" and left?
This was funny and I wonder how many other unicorns are realted to kirin. I have personally read only one story where Twilight is part kirin but that's a longer stroy wher it's just mentioned that Autumn is her cousin. It's not said what for cousin so probably not much closer than here.
10687684
Well I wouldn't say they'd do that immediately. More like, that's how they'd feel about it after the initial few hours or days or however long it takes before Twilight stops talking about it. Of course they'd still be supportive of their friend.
10687575
That's enough to potentially claim minority status, if Equestria has that sort of thing.
*insert broken brain anatomy here*
Huh, wha? *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
This was hilarious. I was honestly expecting our favorite purple plotted princess to be part griffon or hippogriff or even dragon.
This made my head feel funny.
This story is great! 👍🏽
It answers that huge question of exploding that one time.
Sold into my favs, a rare treat!
aww i was hoping for her to be part rapidash... oh well
Well, that’s exceedingly different from most stuff I’ve read on the matter. What fun! I just wish there was more!
10687672
Sounds about right for the Sparkle family.
And here I thought she was going to find out her ancestors were some form of molded plastic.
Perfect way to explain ’rapatwi’.
Now all we need is a sequel about Rarity being related to Dimond dogs or dragons (due to you know her greed over shiny things and you know... Gems) imagine her reaction to finding that out, it would be priceless and would most certainly give Twilight’s a run for her money.
Cadence being related to the pies (due to her cutie mark being literally a rock)
Oh even better the pie family is somehow related to the original Crystal Empire royalty making the oldest of the family technically their proper monarch.
That or the best possible idea... Discord, who is he related to you ask... Gummy.
Or you know just make it so that he’s related to literally anything but Pinkie, that would be funny.
Also just gonna add this into my favourites real quick.
9/10 really good for what it was.
in which chapter does this take place in of danganronpa in harmony's wake
10687672
And then Shiny realizes that this means Flurry might be like thayt, and has a panic attack. :-p
Though 15% is enough that either it was super strong back in the day, or maybe Greqt Grandma wasnt living up to the Applejackiest truth about what happened that night at the bachelorette party.....
It's weird how this headcanon hasn't been explored much. There's plenty of opportunity with it!
In retrospect that actually explains so much.
10687856
"You mean I can royally order ponies to party?!" And thus began the end times.
10687882
thing is that Shining Armor hasn't shown this ability, so it's very possible his genetics don't include enough of the kirin dna. It did say 15% is just enough to influence Twilight's magic. so possibly 14% or less gets overriden entirely. Therefore if he doesn't have a sufficient amount of that dna, the only way Flurry could possibly get enough is if Cadance as well has some. And we just don't know enough to say for Cadance.
Bear in mind also we've seen cases of Flurry get emotional, and angry at least once, right? No indication of that flare up.
Funny, but the excessive stammer made it a bit hard to read
10687856
It just so happens that someone already has a 'Rarity is part dragon' story. Don't remember the details to it other then she never realized that ponies don't eat gems.
10687644
Well twilight CAN be a bit of a birdbrain
10687983
Depends on how it expresses itself in males. It could overall up their defensive instincts. Alongside the magic boost that has to be something from both the kirin and unicorn genetics liking each other, I.E. this is why Shining Armor is the best shield creator/deployer.
You have to remember that not everything expresses itself the same way in both genders even in the same Phyla. Great example of this is the Peacock. The males have that really cool fan tail that looks gorgeous, but the females do not and look rather drab.
I've always liked this hypothesis. Though I do wonder what the distinction is between E. sapiens avis and E. sapiens pegasos. I suppose the former is alicorns? And there's the question of how much genomic rewriting went into Twilight getting her wings, to say nothing of what her apparent implies for her telomeres...
Sorry, thinking too much about pony science is always fun for me. Thanks for a delightful little tale, though it does feel like you overplayed... well, everyone's personality. Each character is one note played at deafening volume. Mind you, that's fine for this sort of story, but you may want to pull back on the throttle in less goofy ones. Again, thanks for the entertaining read.
10687575
Yep, 1/7 is 14.3% and 1/6 is 16.7% so closer to 1/7th Kirin ...
And remember that genetics can be tricky as what one gets from which parent (and beyond) can differ greatly even within the same family!!!
10688016
true. but what we do know about kirins seems to emphasize the nirik form is natural to their race. The entire village besides Autumn took a vow of silence to prevent it. I highly doubt that would not include the men in that case.
plus, while your logic using peacocks as an example is sound, it's not a valid comparison in this situation. We are dealing with mythological creatures here, first and foremost. This fanfic takes dna composition as part of the reasoning for certain things. And we know that coloration, for example, is not fully a genetic trait. We've seen enough families to indicate that it can, but doesn't always, influence mane and coat colors.
Given both of those points, i'd say it's just more likely that Shining doesn't have enough of the dna to show it, and therefore cannot give enough to Flurry. Remember that genetic mixing happens each generation. if Twilight's mother had the dna, and her father doesn't, it's a lower possibility. The dna she inherits from her mother must contain all the kirin dna her mother has. That would apply to Shining as well. And simply put, that 15% showing up in both kids, is unlikely.
humans as an example, inherit 23 chromosomes from each parent. 46 total. that means in our case, 15% would be roughly 7 chromosomes. So that's 7 out of 46 that need to be inherited. In our case, those odds of getting those specific 7 chromosomes out of 46 is rather low. Exact calculations i can't really figure though. Any google search pulls up the punnett square, which only factors chance of dominant or recessive traits on one chromosome.
But even if we assume the same number of chromosomes across the various pony races, it's still very unlikely for both to have it.
10688025
Alicorns are probably (maybe unsurprisingly) E. sapiens alicornis, if keeping with the naming conventions (alae = winged, cornus = horn, put them together and you get alicornis). And probably only is used for true Alicorns, which would be exclusively Luna and Celestia.
Well, depending on your headcanon that is.
It's also possible that E. sapiens avis is meant to be attributed to Hippogryphs, since they're the clear "horse birds" of the equine species.
She's got both her kids into positions of royalty, including Supreme Empress of Equestria. She's done her work, I'd say.
Of course, that means HE inherited it too. But I'm sure he's much too calm, he doesn't have any episodes...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/10/1/1845614__safe_screencap_shining+armor_season+6_the+crystalling_cracked+armor_cropped_faic_male_pony_silly+face_unicorn.png
10687882
Nevermind the Kirin thing, Flurry Heart is descended from a long line of potential madmares. That's way more screwed-up.
10687976
I don’t think the Empire’s budget would be feeling to good...
Due to you know everypony at all times partying (“if you not smiling... then your doing it wrong”) and being analysed by Maud day and night (due to them being made out of rocks)
10688008
Wait...
Just had an idea.
What if instead of Rarity being related to a dragon, a dragon was related to Rarity, “has writing gone too far, the answer is no... it has not gone far enough.”
I mean, what if someone like Garble realised that he was 17% pony, and that 17% was actually Rarity, or Fluttershy, now that would be funny.
Opening joke ran too long.
I enjoyed the bit about twi's unicorn family.
10688085
I mean, she's related to Twi and Velvet, so Shiny already knows about that!
10687882
Yup, that was part of the joke, and suspecting that was at least contributing to Twi's freakout.
10688025
10688081
So this is where my lack of proper Latin knowledge comes in to play, but I was actually intending avia to be a precursor to modern day, equivalent to homo erectus or something like that. I chose avia, as in one way of referring to grandmothers, to roll with matriarchal societies, etc, and go along with Twilight's foremothers comment. In retrospect I could have chosen something that sounded a lot less like "avian." I'll have to think on that and correct it at some point.
Also thank you FOME for the critique regarding the personalities, as you are 100% correct. I exaggerated on purpose for comedic effect, so no worries: well aware how hard I'm pushing that throttle, hehe.