Enzyme Scooped Salad

Twilight tries to feed Applejack a salad. It doesn't go well.

Written for Quills and Sofa's "Write Something Terrible" Panic. The idea was to write a terrible story, but I interpreted it as "write a terrible idea inside a story."

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Comments ( 12 )

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ThePinkedWonder

ThePinkedWonder #1 · Aug 24th, 2021 · 5 · ·

If I were Applejack, I would have said, "Okay, Twi, if you think eating that 'salad' is so safe, why don't you eat it?" then watch and laugh at whatever BS excuses she tries to come up with. Or she might actually say I have a point, which would ruin my fun.

So, right now you're probably wondering what kind of crack I was smoking when I came up with this, and it wasn't actually my fault.

I was about to guess that maybe you had whatever I have when I come up with a crackfic.

Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #2 · Aug 24th, 2021 · 2 · ·

Well, you did a good job for the prompt you were going off of. I can't say I'm that impressed by the end result, but I don't think I could have done any better myself. You managed to get some good crazy Twi in there, although it didn't go far enough to be that funny. One thing that does bug me is that you hard-coded Applejack's accent, which I find myself compelled to complain about in every fic that does it. Lastly...

I’ve got something experimental that’ll really knock your shoes off!

Missed opportunity for "knock your horseshoes off". That is all.

Dewdrops on the Grass

Dewdrops on the Grass #3 · Aug 24th, 2021 · 1 · ·

10949212
Fair. If it means anything, I wrote it while also working, so I didn't get as much time in as I wanted. Re Applejack's accent, I suppose I can understand that. I find I prefer it hard-coded because it's more fun, but definitely I respect your viewpoint.

TY for pointing out the missed opportunity. Ah well.

Eroraf86

Eroraf86 #4 · Aug 24th, 2021 · · ·

Minor technical nitpick: enzymes are proteins that catalyze chemical reactions, but they're not the main structural components of food. I think I know what you're thinking of, though: food substitutes synthesized from microorganisms, like the vegan meat products made from fungi.

Dewdrops on the Grass

Dewdrops on the Grass #5 · Aug 24th, 2021 · · ·

10950021
Yup, you're correct. That's part of what made the prompt extra silly, because of the scientific inaccuracy.

A Soul In Limbo

A Soul In Limbo #6 · Aug 25th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Amusingly enough, I just finished reading a Star Trek crossover, and this sounds a lot like it could easily have been a part of that story. XD

Edit: Waitaminute, that was YOUR story. I didn't realize you were the author of this one too, Dewdrops. XD

Dewdrops on the Grass

Dewdrops on the Grass #7 · Aug 27th, 2021 · · ·

10951337
Hehehe, yup. Just a silly one off.

Haradion

Haradion #8 · Aug 30th, 2021 · 1 · ·

I get this reference! Back to the future!

Also, really good fic. I was waiting for it to turn out Applejack had sabotaged the project to keep her farm i n business. Nice work.

Dewdrops on the Grass

Dewdrops on the Grass #9 · Aug 30th, 2021 · · ·

10957835
Yes!

Congrats on getting the reference, and thank you.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #10 · Oct 15th, 2021 · 1 · ·

There was a bit of arugula, some spinach, romaine and iceberg lettuce, even some chard and kale.

wow, this exhausts my own knowledge of the leafy greens! (except mustard i guess?)

“Of course it’s salad!” Twilight insisted, adding in a laugh that grated on Applejack’s nerves.

aww! i can picture the exact grating Twilight laugh

But uh, why don’t you dumb it down for me anyhow. Ya know, in case Ah’ve gotta explain it to Rainbow Dash.

wow, burn on Rainbow Dash!

]This could revolutionize the planet, Applejack.

it is fun to pair up this mad scientist that will overturn Equestrian society forever Twilight with the practical Applejack here

She opened up her mouth ever so slightly, feeling it water up like Rainbow Dash had just emptied a cloud all over her tongue.

aww, what a delightfully MLP fanfic way to describe this!

“More than 100% natural, in fact. So much so it overflowed all the way back into fake.”
“Uh, what’s that now?”

gotta admit, i share Applejack's confusion here!

Both of them burst into laughter as they left the laboratory together, shoulder to shoulder.

aww, and a nice friendship lesson to end on! sometimes a pleasant lunch with friends is better than trying to bootstrap an entire new genre of food product from hastily-assembled homemade magitek device

One of entries on that list was, "Enzyme Scooped Salad that is actually more than 100% natural."

oh yeah, that is a very difficult prompt to work with! the idea of an artificial salad in particular does make the concept much more disturbing than if the technology were used to make, say, sandwich filling. fun little exploration of a terrible Twilight idea!

daOtterGuy

daOtterGuy #11 · Oct 20th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Howdy, hi!

I really liked the interaction between AJ and Twilight here. This was just really great comedy start to finish and just such out there science that couldn't help but love it. Also this line:

Twilight let out a high-pitched giggle that scrambled down Applejack’s spine like a spoonful of spiders. “Oh Applejack, that’s okay. Sometimes even I don’t know what’s going on inside my head!”

Really makes it for me. It's such a visually crazy thing that it sticks in my head even past first reading.

The setup and the payoff is super great. The just slow addition of more and more ridiculous behavior from Twilight to the eventual force eating of the salad that had the exact expected result was executed wonderfully.

Super enjoyable. Thanks for the read!

EileenSaysHi