• Member Since 15th Jun, 2019
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

TCC56


Vagabond short fiction writer. Veteran of many fandom wars. Believer of light in the darkness.

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Source

Coco Pommel narrowly avoided a bleak future - beaten down, degraded and her will worn away, she was rescued from Suri Polomare by Rarity's generosity.

Now, she's been called on to pay that forward to someone: herself.

Because sometimes the best way to save a person is via an extradimensional horse version of themselves.


Written for A Most Delightful Ponidox.

Featured 10/5/2020 - 10/6/2020 and 10/14/2020 and 10/17/2020!

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 46 )

Okay, this is going to be fun.

Can we please start with why I ponied up in the middle of gym class and my butt started glowing?

I like the implication that ponying up has always come with cutie marks, but no one realized that until now because they were always wearing something.

Nearly all of which embarrassed the Princess further, as she kept having to admit she never got around to researching and experimenting with the table - a point that the scientifically-minded human Twilight was loudly frustrated by.

:twilightsheepish: "In my defense, after Starlight's little... you know, time loop thing, I've been hesitant to mess with the map."
:twilightangry2: "And those times you were practically begging it to give you something to do?
:twilightsheepish: "Well, if I broke it, then it wouldn't ever give me a mission!"

Spike loudly cleared his throat. Both unicorns turned. "You're both forgetting you have friends to help. Again."

Spike: Expert unicorn wrangler.

Sunset froze. "Since when is Starswirl alive?"

"And do you think you can distract the Twilights long enough for me to fix that problem?"
"No, Sunset."
"I'm just being proactive. He probably has a dozen more artifacts he meant to throw into the human world."

Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this. The premise looks fantastic, and watching residents of one world adapt to the other is always a delight.

Well, this is a promising start. I am very curious to see where this goes.

Side note, I double-dog-DARE you to make me feel a positive emotion towards Suri.

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Side note, I double-dog-DARE you to make me feel a positive emotion towards Suri.

Challenge accepted.

THIS IS SO KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy:

Good start. Don't forget to add it to the contest folder.

Is this meant to take place before or after Spring Breakdown?

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After - note Sunset's comment about how everyone but Coco has crossed over the dimensional barrier. Twilight's had all her things be horse things before, which is why she can concentrate on freaking out about other problems.

Cast On as a Cast Offs pun? Nice.

Picture so CUTE! :heart:

I guess source is linked in the image.

Nice bit of answering Twilight's questions and stuff!

Great start, I'm definitely looking forward to more. There are way too few Coco stories on fimfic.

Mmm. That author's note! So good!

This was indeed a surprise! Hmm... Equestrian Magic has leaked into the human world... Has it happened here??

Well, everyone's still alive... This doesn't have a Dark Tag or anything...

Drama indeed!

Why Twilight? It's doesn't seem like a guide... So why?

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think Suri was going to be the villain in this one?

Y E S

That's a twist, I'm actually really excited for what's next now.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think Suri was going to be the villain in this one?

... Well played. Consider my expectations thoroughly subverted.

Oh dear. We're dealing with some dark Coco. And not a marshmallow in sight.

Also, some very nice character work with human Twilight. Kind of hard to measure up to your demigod alien horse princess analogue... but the problem there is that you're seeing it as a competition in the first place. Crystal Prep sticks with a person, even after they transfer out.

And it's interesting how Twilight didn't try to explain the actual situation to Cadence. I suppose if the principal's only encounter with magic was watching her sister-in-law transform into a dark angel of science, she'll be wary of the stuff going forward. Especially when it's using that same sister-in-law for inscrutable, allegedly "harmonious" purposes.

Definitely looking forward to more.

One of the dangers of writing a ponidox: forgetting which character is in which form, and giving humans hooves that you don't notice until the last second of editing.

Well, everyone's on Earth now... No one has hooves...

But then again, you've written in more settings than I have...

....

Get rid of... And those shears... Really glad this isn't tagged Dark or anything.

....

I wonder precisely what lesson Human!Coco is gonna learn...

And she surely isn't gonna be happy about this...

....

Nice bit with claps for Rarity!

Is human Coco gonna be the real antagonist in this story? That's a pretty big twist.

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Well, everyone's on Earth now... No one has hooves...

I had to make at least three corrections in this story so far referring to humans with hooves or manes. Habits, y'know?

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Is human Coco gonna be the real antagonist in this story?

I am not nearly talented enough (and this story is not nearly long enough) to do two antagonist twists.

By my count, the first two chapters combined are missing at least 54 dashes.

Nice twist. I noticed that nopony seemed to consider that what they know of Suri and Coco's interactions on the human side might be actively changing – which could even be the cause for the map calling pony Coco. That just meant that I watched the characters assumptions unravel along with my own.

Most interesting. I look forward to seeing what Human Coco has been up to.

"I was told to come here by a magic table."

Ah, yes. A completely logical reason, that.

She turned to Twilight, eyes alight with determination. "I'll need your help, Twilight. But we can do this. We have to do this." A sliver of doubt crept in, and Coco wavered. "Right?"

Note to self: Life needs more Coco.

It took finally encountering Sugarcoat and using the word 'magic' to get proper (if sarcastic) directions.

How dare you relegate Best Human to a mere mention like that and don't actually show her on page.

Ah, this is going to be tricky. Especially since Coco's already entered in the competition. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go from here.

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"Take the second left after the bio labs, then never contact anyone you leave behind."

"It's a completely unresearched artifact of immeasurable strength tied directly to one of the most powerful natural forces in the world!

Exactly; it's pretty much the only thing to survive temporal shenanigans, showing up in timelines it really shouldn't. I'd say that it is THE "artifact of immeasurable strength", after it managed that feat.

"I'm so high,"

That...can be so easily taken out of context. Am I immature for doing so myself, in my head?

"But you're Twilight Sparkle. You can't be evil."

The pre-princess Twilight Sparkle once hypnotised the majority of Ponyville, in the hopes of writing a report she thought was due weekly; I'd say that's "evil", or at the very least "intensely immoral and unethical".

"It is when she's you," came the almond-bitter counter.

So...have you accepted "your" Princess of the Fall Formal victory, yet? Because, as far as any non-CHS people know, you somehow managed to participate and win despite not being a CHS student.
Y'know, since this often gets overlooked and all.

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I still contend the Smarty Pants Incident was ptsd and chaotic residue from Discord, especially since it manifested as an insane obsession with order and some seriously trippy imagery.

MY GOD THAT COVER ART IS CUTE

With things being the "Similar but diffrent" event deal that happens with EQG I think the goal of the map was 3 things. Help Human Coco not become a vindictive jerk, help Suri out of her funk and learn to be better, and give Pony Coco the bravery to settle this gs with Pony Suri in Equestria.

Of course appealing to Suri's ego worked. Some things are the same regardless of which side of the mirror you're on.

"Actually," Twilight unhelpfully corrected, "I had to register you under a different name so they're expecting, um." She hesitated. "Popo Commel."

i.redd.it/c1id93tlv1t21.jpg
"Hey."

... fortunately, Twilight's lack of knowledge about her former schoolmates was made up for by her ability to guess Cadance's passwords to the Crystal Prep computer network.

"I keep telling her 'shiny less-than three' isn't secure."

Oh, this is fantastic thus far. And the most sympathetic Suri I've ever seen. Not that I've seen many, but this one's still quite well-portrayed. Good balance of likeability and... well, accurate characterization. :twilightsheepish: And that threatening voice mail from human Coco was downright chilling. Looking forward to more.

it's always fun to torture a character with their dark past

Their dark and sexy past in this case.

and you have absolutely no idea how [high fashion] works or even what most of the words to describe things are

I've done that to myself in the past with other topics. I have not yet learned my lesson.

"Who I would have been," Suri elaborated, "Without the Games."

Twilight's reaction to that matched my own.

Explaining a second Coco would never work.

That would lead into an explanation for Twilight's dress, at which point Suri would disqualified for copying off of the will of Magic itself. :derpytongue2:

Their shame of their own hides means they've reduced the art of fashion to mundane workaday cloth-slop that they take entirely for granted.

I don't think I've ever seen pony Rarity look at human fashion this way before. Points for novelty.

A fantastic map mission from start to finish. Like all the best ones, the summoned ponies make perfect sense in hindsight. Thank you for a great read and a brilliant examination of a character most of us discarded, myself included. Best of luck in the judging.

Also, Coco working with Autumn Blaze, and a reconciliation with her own Suri looming... Sequel when?

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Also, Coco working with Autumn Blaze, and a reconciliation with her own Suri looming... Sequel when?

It's something under consideration, though I've got a really full slate as it is.

Still, it at least alludes to something that's always tickled me - we have only two notable characters in canon with ties to the theatre. Yet there are exactly zero fics of them together in any way. Much like the Discord/Zephyr Breeze pair, it's amazing that even this late in the fandom's lifecycle there's still obvious stories that have never been tried.

I feel like human Coco coming around almost instantly was a bit forced, and just having her be downcast for a long minute wasn't enough. More so than Twilight's baggage going unacknowledged, I'd assumed that revelation was supposed to be the whole climax. Instead, it was more about pony Coco. Oh well.

The real moral of the story? Don't mess with Popo, be they Mr. or Miss.

"I still hear it, you know. Your scream. At three am when I can't sleep and I'm just staring at the walls." Suri's hands balled up, grabbing fistfuls of the violet fabric. "And I remember realizing that we'd killed you."

Oh, indeed. Wow. That actually makes a lot of sense.

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Oh, indeed. Wow. That actually makes a lot of sense.

That's honestly one of the parts of Friendship Games that sticks with me - right as Twilight gets pulled into the bright shiny sphere of hubris, that scream. It's memorable. And for a bunch of kids who fairly directly caused the situation? Yeah, that's gonna scar.

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I feel like human Coco coming around almost instantly was a bit forced, and just having her be downcast for a long minute wasn't enough.

The speed of the reversal on her was partially on purpose - I was trying, format-wise, to lean heavily into a show-like feel for things. Across the board in EQG media, once the villain's defeated they reverse course to become good more or less instantly. (Sirens aside.) (Seriously, the only one that isn't resolved thirty seconds after the climax is Juniper, and then only because she's in a second one where she does do her instant turn-around.) I could probably have stretched it out more on her part, but it felt truer to the source material to have the quicker crumble.

The other part of it is that I remain absolute garbage at pacing and some things never change.

That, in turn, made Twilight smile. "You really don't. Plus Applejack's been waiting for you! There's a friend of hers she wants to introduce you to - a new up and coming playwright who's..." The Princess barely suppressed a snicker. "Really on fire."

...please tell me that's Autumn Blaze.

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It 100% is.

I really liked this story.

"Actually," Twilight unhelpfully corrected, "I had to register you under a different name so they're expecting, um." She hesitated. "Popo Commel."

Coco's head thumped against the table again.

"Really, darling?" Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I panicked!" Twilight confessed as she started to panic again.

Yes.

Twilight groaned in frustration, rubbing her hips with annoyance as the cutie mark hidden under her dress pulsed. "Not again. This feels so weird."

I admit, this puzzled me for a good minute before I remembered that's how all the map missions normally end.

This was a very satisfying read. I mean, once I got used to all those hyphens.

That fateful moment when you realize that you need to describe a stunning piece of fashion and you have absolutely no idea how high fashion works or even what most of the words to describe things are.

I feel your pain.

I was a little put off by Sunset's godlike ability to know where to point Twilight and Coco so the story could get underway, but I acknowledge that the alternative would have been multiple plodding scenes of the two stumbling their way around to find their mission, so it's a necessary contrivance. I hadn't noticed that human Suri was on the Shadowbolts team until you brought it up -- that was an excellently observed justification for her change of heart. And you did a great job of showing pony Coco the full importance of the magic of friendship.

"There's a friend of hers she wants to introduce you to - a new up and coming playwright who's..." The Princess barely suppressed a snicker. "Really on fire."

And that's how Coco Pommel became rich designing fashion-forward outfits made entirely out of vinyl. It's a niche market, but an otherwise untapped one.

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I acknowledge that the alternative would have been multiple plodding scenes of the two stumbling their way around to find their mission, so it's a necessary contrivance.

Basically the entire reason Sunset was there, yeah. Without it, there would have been a lot of aimless fumbling before they even figured out that they were supposed to be on the human side of the mirror. Better to rip off the band-aid fast and get to the point, even if it was a little clumsy to start.

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Also! Before I forget again.

Side note, I double-dog-DARE you to make me feel a positive emotion towards Suri.

Shall I chalk that up as a success?

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I mean, technically, I never specified WHICH Suri, so maybe? I definitely feel a lot of positive emotions for the human Suri, but I'm still waiting on the pony one.

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I mean, technically, I never specified WHICH Suri, so maybe?

Hoisted by my own petard! Curse you cross-dimensional duplicates!

I like Coco Pommel

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