I'm writing stories. They will be up eventually.
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Suri Polomare had every reason to be confident. A little theft here, a little deception there, and Fashion Week was as good as hers.
Too bad she didn't think about the long-pressured conscience of a certain timid assistant.
Inspired by the artwork of muffinshire.
Edit: So I've been told this story was featured. That's fantastic and I love you all for it. For srs.
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Ha! Oh yeah! Sweet!
That's something that I'd like to see on the show! Good work! This deserve everypony!!! 
Now that was absolutely awesome! Excellent work!
i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/ahhelga/clap.gif
Awesome, simply awesome!
An excellent novelization of Coco's character buildup. Bravo!
Ha ha! Suri deserved it!
This was a really good story, and a great insight into what might have happened before Coco found Rarity at the theatre. Suri deserves everything she gets.
I did find some errors, which are detailed below.
decency
Rarity
here a while
apparent
Also, you are missing the closing quotation marks here. And AFAIK, when one character quotes another that quote is in single quotation marks:
I could be wrong, though.
If it was me, I would use 'hoof' in place of hand — given that this story is being told from a pony's point of view. But you're the author, so this isn't really my call to make.
That's all I could find. I'm sorry to be 'that guy', but I am of the belief that authors cannot better themselves if people don't tell them where they are going wrong.
I would so pay big bucks to see that part in the story (especially the part when she quits)
4042036
Keen eye! I guess that even with a writing app that has spell check, I can still make mistakes, it seems. ^_^;
Fixed all those mistakes right up. And don't worry about being "that guy." Your reasons were good, and I DID ask for it after all.
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
4041232 And I agree!
The story is just very well done but I think you really should change the word 'hand' to 'hoof' because I think it makes much more sense because you are writing the story in the 'Pony' universe.But honestly,you decide for me I think 'hoof' makes much more sense
sigh, not sign
4043394
Yeeeah, and that's not supposed to be "designated" either. Fixed.
4043322
I get that reasoning, but to me, saying "on the other hoof" didn't quite fit. It would have felt, well, sillier by comparison to me.
Besides, not every word is equinized in the show. Key example, Scootaloo saying "girlfriend" on Hearts and Hooves day.
4043597
I suppose context matters when it determines what to use. That, and the person writing it as well.
Like a baws.
Like a boss, Coco.
Noticed in a few places where some words needed to be capitalized or otherwise changed. I'll copy the document and get it back to you with the fixes in about a week or two.
Other than that, I really enjoyed how you wrote this. After the fixes are made, this will definitely be one of my favorite slice of life stories.
4044910
Well, I'll try my best, but changing stories on my phone is... tricky. Still, I look forward to it!
This was a pretty nice story, but it'd definitely benefit from a once-over by an editor, if you can find someone willing to take the time.
4045458
That, I don't doubt. But keep in mind that this was my very first story ever, after all.
That said, is there a group on this site where people offer themselves to be pre-readers? I imagine there would be.
Well, other than a few capitalization errors that I noticed...
This is one of the best stories I ever read! Way to cheer up a girl!
4045623
Aw shucks...
At the end of all of that, all I can think of is three simple words that could've very well went through Coco's mind:
Seriously though, great story mate, I really enjoyed it. And the funny part is, is that if they had put in Coco's leaving, I'm pretty sure they would use that.
Very nice, and I love the end explaining where that rainbow thread came from, I always wondered that.
4045523 There are a few, actually; I think one of the main ones is The Proofreader Group. There's also Proofreading, Prereading, and Editing and... actually, that's all I found after a quick Google.
I will caution you, though, from what I've heard these groups tend to have a pretty decent backlog of stories. At this point in time, I would probably also recommend against asking your followers or readers if they'd be interested; nothing against you or any of them, but you probably don't have the knowledge of what to look for in a prereader yet, and prereading requires someone with a fair bit of free time and a willingness and ability to be honest to a fault about what they're reading. If you talk to any other authors, you might like to ask if they can recommend anyone for the job. Mostly though, don't get discouraged; this is still a lot better than some stuff I've read (and, probably, written
), and you will improve if you keep writing. 
4046098
Well dayum! You're just a complete pile of awesome helpfulness, now aren't ya? These groups are going to be super helpful! Seriously, thanks a crap-ton. I owe you one, Pinkie Promise.
4046145
There are a lot of points in the story where you don't capitalize "I'm".
But this was awesome in so many ways. I live for character pieces like this on this site. Liked and faved.
4046841
Yeah, I've finally had enough of those. I went through and cleaned out as many as I could find. Hopefully I didn't miss one!
Excellent! Very awesome story, and the fanart goes perfectly with it
4048041
Well THAT was emberrasing. Thanks for the tip.
4048077 Yep.
This was a nice little fic. Two Mustaches and a ScootAngel
. Oh! and a Cookie!
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/138/1/b/fluffy_rarity__cookies_and_milk_for_breakfast_by_schnabsix-d5077rd.png
Her name ought to be Coco Pummel, because she just destroyed Suri...
Man.
Coco Pommel is best pony and this story did her justice.
Thank you for the read.
To tell you my thoughts on this fic, I must tell you a story. Years ago, when I was reading One Piece for the first time, I met the villain Enel. He was the first fictional character I wanted to punch in the face, so when it happened I literally shouted 'YEAH!'. Since then, I have met many fictional characters who are so smug and self-centered, and no franchise has provided more than MLP. Blueblood, Diamond Tiara, a few personal fueds, and last but by no means least, Suri. She is actually the worst, because if I hate DT too much I feel bad because she's just a kid, and Blueblood didn't get enough lines or screen time to fully incurr my wrath. While it isn't physical contact, most of my fantasies where I punish them end like this. Now I just need a Heroes of Olympus fic in which Octavian gets kicked in the nuts...
4051207
...Huh.
4043519
Tara Strong also slipped up (or didn't, since they didn't have her retry the line) and said 'anybody' in the first episode to feature Braeburn.
[Youtube]
4043597
^Best argument
I am just SMITTEN by this! Such a wonderful background tale of the two most genius additions to the MLP: FiM-verse. My only qualm with this is Suri's lack of resolution. I mean, sure, Coco's the star on this stage. But a hint--some dialogue, or even a whole scene to Suri herself--would not only thicken the bitch's character, but make this fic feel more complete.
All the same, you've collected a like and fave from this guy!
Well done!
4052301
Well, it certainly looks helpful! Thanks for the link!
Great work here. Have my like. About time someone wrote a story about that cute little mare.
Clearly some misnatropic, petty, jackanape ass hat has clicked the down vote on this story by mistake
You go, girl! (Or boy.)
I cannot believe this is your first story. The story structure is a bit wonky, but all in all it's fantastic. Well worth the Popular Box.
4052735
Golden rule of the populous; People are Fickle.
I'm actually glad for that thumb down. Keeps me from getting a big-headed ego.
4052945
Or... they liked this story so much they turned their screen or laptop upside down so they could give this story another up vote
Unless we hear otherwise from the show or the show staff, I will be accepting this as canon for how this happened. Awesome story. I love it!
To whoever disliked this, BUCK YOU!
Awesome work!