• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2014
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I’m cuckoo for Coco Pommel!



Years ago, Coco Pommel rescued a young laborer in Manehattan's textile district when she was on a delivery shift for Suri. Realizing that every reformed villain or assistant needs a project, she sets out to adopt the filly, Babs Seed, as soon as Rarity leaves Manehattan. But between her daughter's troubled past, bitter relatives, and a disputing producer and director on her Bridleway set, Coco soon finds that giving love--and getting it--may be harder than anypony ever imagined...especially when it comes to forgiving herself.

Takes place during late S4 and S5. Romance elements come in Act III. Edited by Smaug the golden, Elusive Element, Harry S Faustin, and pokefreak13. Cover art by DreamscapeValley

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Chapters (66)
Comments ( 478 )

im looking forward to seeing where this goes cuz i adore coco x3

Okay this is coming out of left field, completely unexpected, but I am here to see where it goes

I like this one as well! It took me a little bit to figure out where the two events--finding Babs and telling her that Coco was officially her guardian--were on the show's timeline. You could maybe try clarifying between the past and the present a bit more.

It feels like the story is over right here. I, personally, don't see the need for anymore chapters on this story.


I'd like to elaborate a bit more on what happens afterwards, though. Why? The sheer response that this event will elicit from Rarity itself merits continuing parts. If she wasn't mad at Suri before...she's going to be :flutterrage: very soon...

As long as the focus stays mostly on Babs and Coco, you should be fine. :twilightsmile:


Yes, it will stay on both of them. The CMC, Applejack, and Rarity come in for when they visit Ponyville for a while, and Rarity basically buys tickets to Manehattan just to yell in Suri's face. I also want to do some world expansion with possible Manehattan!CMC. One of them is a female sci-fi nerd/conspiracy theorist, so this ought to be fun. As much as it'd be good as a one-shot, I feel like this could also become a good slice-of-life, too. I'd prefer to elaborate on the relationships while staying between Babs and Coco. Also, Coco will not be shipped in this. I'd prefer to have her focused on Babs at the moment.

Okie dokie! :pinkiehappy: As you can tell, I've faved this, so I'll be watching!

I really like that Scene Stealer.

Interesting individual.

You've earned a like and fav my friend.


Thanks. Introducing an OC is always risky business, but I have a friend in the theatre world who somewhat inspired his character. The ukulele thing actually came from him--he never had multicolored ones, but he did have a habit of randomly playing it in hallways. I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

I was wonder about how Babs was an orphan if she was an Apple, then I see your AN, bit of a strech but it makes sense. Babs isn't an Apple by blood, but she is an Apple none the less.


You'll see once we hear more of Uncle Orange's backstory. Just because her parents are dead doesn't mean she isn't an Apple...
:ajbemused: : Forgettin' about somepony?

Ok now I'm confused about how exactly Babs is related to the Apples. Nut I think I will continue to read this


Trust me, we'll ease into this plotline. It's a bit confusing in one sitting. Though I will say that it was slightly inspired by this foreign film. And that's all I'm saying about it...:trixieshiftright:

Whoa! Hold up! Babs is an orphan?:pinkiegasp:

Oh, I gotta read this now:raritystarry:

I like this Scene Stealer guy. A lot.

Good job on this!


You Sir, have my complete attention. Your fic is now officially on may Favorites list. :eeyup:

Keep Up the good work

Color-coded ukuleles. Brilliant!! :pinkiehappy:

Vengeful Ukulele color

As for Suri .... Go get her, Scene Stealer!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:


Seeing that Rarity's going to be ending up joining up with Scene in the whole Suri-hunting thing, her only hope really is that Coco's feeling a bit hesitant about the whole revenge thing and ends up deciding to help her. But it's interesting to see some devil's advocate here...

Babs' understanding and excepting was a little too quick, but other than that' a very good start.:pinkiesmile:

I'll admit, I was worried during babs' dream. That worried me a lot:fluttershyouch:

But I'm glad babs now knows she doesn't have to worry about those bastards anymore and that coco cares for her.:pinkiesad2:

I'm interested to see how the apple family will react when they see babs and her new mother when they go to ponyville. I'm also looking forward to the shock rarity will have when she finds out.:pinkiehappy:

This is gonna be good. Favourited and liked:twilightsmile:


Normally, I tend to stay away from cursing in my stories. But I will admit to finding it difficult to dance around that very word you called them.

And this was my first time writing a nightmare sequence; I thought it came out rather well. I like how Babs was so determined to stand up to them so well before Coco was brought into the situation, and couldn't help but think she had shades of "action heroine" in this scene. She'd play that role pretty well, I think. What doesn't help is that one of her friends is your typical archaeology-obsessed colt who has a habit of dressing in reverse-gender Daring Do ("Indiana Jones" attire here) cosplay. This makes me very tempted to do an alternate universe story with aged-up versions of Phoenix Stripe (the aforementioned OC) going on archaeological adventures with Babs as his badflank female assistant. That'd be tons of fun. :rainbowlaugh:

I enjoyed this story very much so far. I get all fuzzy inside when I see peop... ponies helping others in need.

I am looking forward to your next chapters. Thank you for the great read. :pinkiehappy:


That, right there, is the ultimate compliment that a writer can receive. :rainbowlaugh:

Just a few things I'd point out: the tensing in the first chapter was somewhat confusing, and the nightmare scene was a bit too telly.

Other than that though, this story is great, and the idea is really unique! Looking forward to more :pinkiehappy:

Coco was enough for me to give you a thumb up and favourite your story, but i like it too.:pinkiehappy:

It was somehow a bit hard to understand at the start, wich timeline she was. I mean i think i know tha Coco and Bab Seed are now a bit after the Episode with Rarity?, or is this even after season 4? (english is just my second language, i am not that bad but i think maybe because of this i don´t understand it right away.

PS: I would like it if Bab seed is a bit more excited about getting a new mom.


She will be. She's just getting used to it now; give her time. :twilightsmile:

I would like her to be a single mom in this fanfic, well i would not like the Orange guy as a Coltfriend right now, if this maybe was a hint of him getting her as a Marefriend.
I would prefer it if this fanfic focused on strengthening the bond between Coco and Bab Seed.:rainbowkiss:
I now there is nor romance Tag but it just want to say what i would like befor it is done.

Beside that it is a good story to me, just the Nigthmare Scene was a bit long, but then again maybe it was the best way to make the Nightmare real enough.


She's not going to fall for the Orange guy (he has an altogether different role in this story, one that would probably make Coco hate him once she finds out about it). Admittedly, there is somepony who has a crush on her, but he's in a higher position and so he can't tell her right away because of the whole stigma against those types of relationships in the workplace. So any and all romance will be more subtle in this series.

4491537 oh ok, he was just to odd for me. I think i would like if we see enough about Coco and Bab Seeds Mother, Daughter Moments befor the romance really start. I think you manage to make the guy nice enough for me if he comes:raritywink:

I look forward to seeing coco show uncle orange how wrong he is.

Now I wait for the chapter at the apple family farm.:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

I like Scene Stealer, a lot, I can just imagine him when he's heard bad news

Scene Sealer: "stage hand?"

stage hand: "yes?"

Scene Stealer: "fetch my 'angry' ukulele" *stage hand gives him a crimson ukulele*


First off, I must point out that you've written applejack without her twang. Instead of "your" or "you're" it should be "yer" and instead of "I" or "I'm" it should be "Ah'm".

Sorry, but for any member of the main apple family, I feel that needs to be taken I to account.

Also, at the beginning of babs' first scene in this chapter, you have it start of with meanwhile, when it doesn't need to, since the scene change is enforced by the ****** above the words.

Now my my reaction to what happened when they got back.

Celestia damn it! How dare your, suri?:twilightangry2::flutterrage: oh, I can't wait for rarity to force down your throat that you were responsible for babs' torture and I can't wait for you to be told how family is worth missing out on a little work.

Of course, you'll probably not understand, because you never had a loving family. How do I know? Because I can't see parents raising a filly To be like you. You're worse than diamond tiara. Oh yeah, I said it. Tiara is better morally than you


First off, I may end up changing Applejack's lines to suit her accent, but I wrote her that way because dialect is a very rocky area when it comes to writing. Some writers swear by it, but others think it's a lazy shortcut and grammatically incorrect. (And yet milestones of literature like Wuthering Heights and Their Eyes Were Watching God use it in spades, making the issue extremely hard to determine.)

And if you think Suri is the worst one behind Babs' torture, you just wait. There's somepony even worse who's going to be revealed several parts later. Namely, somepony connected to her birth parents. :raritywink:


Thank you very much for that. :)

4611870 and he plays like chris Jericho in fozzy while hiting people with said 'angry' ukelele

Besides, everypony knows that a Scoltish play is bad luck in the theatre world. I don’t want actors to back out of it because they think ghosts are going to pop out backstage or some other preposterous reason like that.”
“That’s the wrong Scoltish play,” I sighed in annoyance, rolling my eyes.

Funny story 'bout that: my high school did "M" my freshman year and one of our actors called BS on the curse and said the name. No sooner than he said it, he promptly fell off the stage and broke his back. Moral of the story kids is never mess with theatre curses.

I like the premise to the story. Definitely an interesting pair of characters that you don't see often.

Also, well done on the whole sweatshop labor deal. That stuff's pretty awful to think about. Textile industry's always been rough. The spacing of the paragraphs was a bit tough to get used to, but it's good. I like where this is going so far. I'll be reading on :twilightsmile:

P.S Have a like.

Scene Stealer's quite a character, isn't he? I think I like him.

And is it just me, or does Coco and Babs' relationship seem a lot like Lilo and Nani from Lilo and Stitch?

Coco. More than anything else, I’m doing so much of this for Coco.

I'll ship it :derpytongue2:

And well played! That Spiderman: Turn off the Dark reference xD rich...

Scene Stealer seems like a pretty great pony. Here's hoping nothing goes too terribly awry. Another chapter down, more to read :twilightsmile: I think you deserve a favorite this time :twilightsmile: /)


For dialect, I agree with you. In part, this is fanfiction, so we don't need to write dialect for known characters like AJ, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. I usually only write dialect now if it is extremely heavy or on an unknown character. Since we know the canon characters, we know how they speak. The human brain will associate the character with the voice and read the text in that character's voice. Word choice is also important for dialect. Rather than focusing on spelling of words like "I'm=A'hm," use those idioms and slang of that certain dialect.

Also, didn't Babs say in the show that she had a sister? For the purposes of your story, maybe that was a lie or she is now deceased too, but I'm pretty sure she said she had a sister.

On another note, the spacing is different now! :pinkiegasp: It actually took me several paragraphs to notice :twilightsheepish:

Can you help me with what happened so far? I just noticed that story again, and i am not sure why i stopped reading it, since i still saw my thumb up on this story, however i don´t know if i have the time to read the first three-four chapters again tomorrow. I am just curious if this was the story, where Bab Seed had to work with mean ponys till Coco came.

You know shits about to get real when the vengeful ukulele comes out!:rainbowdetermined2:

I can't believe that I put off reading this for so long, I really like the story so far, can't wait to read on!

I would love to have colored gloves and make random gestures all damn day to describe how I'm feeling.

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