This is it, Coco thought to herself as she walked into the theatre just as she had every day for months. She was alone for once, but she wasn’t bothered; she knew that everypony else was waiting for her tonight, and what she needed to do today was surely something she could do on her own. Besides, for once, she managed to have a good secret hiding behind her hooves, and she couldn’t wait to show it off when the time came.
This is the moment everything changes. My last day here, for all I know.
Well, when she really put it into perspective, even if she did move onto another theatre, not a whole lot would really change within her own life. She would still have Bambi and Babs, for one, and Scene had made it clear that her transfer to another acting company wouldn’t influence their friendship at all. So far, she hadn’t been too diligent in searching for another play who would take her, and while she would’ve liked to have thought this was because she knew Scene would at least help her through this stage of her issue, she knew that there was something deeper than that. That she couldn’t go too far outside the confines she’d been placed in here. That, no matter how much her friends interfered, she was still being watched.
But for once, all that scrutinizing pushed her further towards taking the risk. Whenever she questioned leaving Stealer-Orange, sure enough, there he was, back to remind her of just how little she was really giving up. Everypony would still be there to support her, she knew that for a fact, but seeing her ever-persistent producer made her realize that even if they were to leave, she would still make the same decisions. Seeing one enemy finally gone for good was worth losing all the friends in the world.
If she was up against any other pony in Equestria, she certainly wouldn’t have felt this way. She’d never met anypony else in her entire life that would’ve spurred her to such a change.
But if there’s one thing she’d learned from her stint in the hospital, it’s that she couldn’t keep approaching Mosely from a distance. She still wasn’t quite so sure of her own morality, but what she knew now was that there was a way to redeem herself for good. One more night, and then she’d hit him where it hurt most.
The sheer power she had over him thrilled her more than almost anything ever had. When she quit her job with Suri, it had all been very mechanical, rehearsed even, and even if she’d had evidence against her boss then, revealing it would’ve doomed them both. And for what, just to take out her own anger at being bossed around like a servant? If she hadn’t managed to feel anything back then, why was this time any different? Was she really just as ruthless as so many others in Manehattan, willing to tear an immensely successful pony apart for a piece of his sway?
Not too long ago, that’s what she would’ve thought. But in reality, rising to Mosely’s level of success was now the last thing Coco wanted if it meant keeping everypony oblivious to one’s true self. If it meant bringing everypony else down to keep it intact.
No, Coco had spent long enough letting her fear separate herself from her family and from her duty. She couldn’t pretend she was still worthy of their support; after all, she had betrayed them so much just to keep a job. But she would do whatever she could to make amends, which would have to start with quitting Stealer-Orange and figuring out the rest from there. With any luck, maybe Rarity’s ties to the princesses would fast-track her case and Mosely would be tried fairly quickly.
She’d only have to put up with this for one more day. Then she, and everypony else, would finally be out of their misery.
About a half hour after entering the theatre, though, she realized her mistake. Anything she was about to do today would require quite a bit of explanation later.
A magenta earth pony with a bright green mane, who Coco recognized as the leading actress Limelight, was chatting with another mare as Coco was about to go up on stage to help with the dress rehearsal. The other performer was frantically trying to attach a false unicorn horn to her head, but to no avail.
“Ugh,” Limelight muttered with a roll of her eyes. “I have no idea how some ponies put up with these. I swear this thing’ll be the death of me.”
“Last time I had to play a unicorn, I ended up getting a headband and just putting it on that. Works a whole lot better than what they’re doing here.”
“I don’t have that kind of time, though. No way Scene’s going to let me leave set to get mane accessories, even if there was a store close by. Besides, with my mane, you’d spot it a mile away. It’s not exactly the best color for hiding things.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to try, though. He’d probably understand, and besides, you’d be far from the first pony to take time off. I mean, Coco isn’t even there half the time.”
From what Coco could tell, the actress hadn’t even meant the sentence to be judgmental, or at least, that’s what she hoped. She’d had so much going on already that she didn’t even realize how much time she’d had to take off the production; after all, Scene had been the one to urge her to take these breaks more often than not, and it wasn’t like she was using them to blow off work. A few days with the Apples, one day trying to find Babs when she had run away. How bad were those in the grand scheme of things?
But then she realized that she still didn’t really have a full idea of how long she’d spent in the hospital. Most of it was a blur to begin with, and she could only really remember the parts of it that happened after Rarity had come over. For all she knew, she might’ve been stuck in there for another whole week.
That, plus her past history and the fact that everypony on set thought she was messing around with her producer, couldn’t have possibly led to anypony thinking well of her. Her first job on Bridleway, and she was already cast in the role of the cast’s deadbeat. Quitting would only add to that image, even if it did mean finally escaping from this Tartarus of hers.
Her ears drooping further down than she’d previously thought possible, Coco trotted towards her office area even though she’d already done everything there she’d needed to. She didn’t look back to see what the mares were talking about now, knowing that she’d probably end up regretting what she’d overhear next.
One day more, she thought to herself. Just one day more, and it’ll all be over by tomorrow. What happens today doesn’t matter if it means better things will come later.
Usually, she’d believe that, and considering that it was opening day of her first play, she thought that would be enough to get her through. And yet each hoofstep seemed to last an hour, and just trotting was enough to exhaust her.
It’s funny. Even after I passed out, I don’t remember ever feeling this weak.
Just as she was about halfway to her costume room, she felt a hoof stroking her haunches. Without thinking, she flinched and her hind legs kicked backwards, almost causing her to fall straight on her flank. She heard somepony giggling close by and feared the worst.
“Like mother, like daughter, huh?” asked a voice from behind.
It was the same pony from a few minutes ago, the one who couldn’t get her horn to stay on. There was nothing left for Coco to do, and yet somehow she still felt that she really didn’t have time for this.
“For the record, I think it’s cute,” Limelight said when Coco refused to respond. “I’m really sorry for scaring you like that, but I couldn’t help but remember that filly who would come in with you when you did that. You got all jumpy like she did, so I guess I know where she gets it from now.”
“Actually, it’s not quite like that,” Coco replied. “For one, Babs only gets like that when you touch her flank and we aren’t actually related.”
“Of course you are. You two seem too alike not to be. All those blood complications don’t matter to me.”
“Well, I’m just finishing up something for her to wear to the premiere tonight,” answered Coco. In reality, she only had less than an hour’s work left to go on the dress she’d been planning to surprise Babs with, but any excuse to get away from the cast and crew was enough.
To her dismay, however, she soon realized that such a suggestion would only work on ponies who could take a hint.
“Oh, I’d love to see that!” Limelight responded. “You’ve already done such a good job on the designs for this show, after all. And maybe you’d have a headband in my mane color.”
With a sigh of hesitation, already wondering if this was the right decision, Coco admitted that there were so many ribbons in her office that she could probably find something to tie the horn up with.
“Thank Celestia! I’d kind of been wanting to talk to you anyway, especially after what went on with my castmate back there. Let me just start by saying that I am so sorry for making you hear that.”
“I’m used to it by now. My last job was a lot worse about things like that. It’s one thing when your coworkers say things like that, but when it’s your boss—“
“Oh, I can imagine. But if it did get to you, you don’t need to hide it from anypony. Stagestruck can just get a really big temper before a show, so she probably didn’t mean what she said. Probably just the stress talking, you know?”
“She had a point, though,” Coco answered. “I always thought I was pulling my weight here, but after hearing her, I’m not quite so sure.”
“Lots of ponies get like that right before a show, so don’t worry. You definitely helped out a lot, in my eyes at least. And I’ve been noticing that you’ve spent a lot of this show alone, not talking to anypony here. Even if you would’ve slacked off these past couple months, you could still use a friend. Maybe you’d end up preferring limes over oranges after a couple of days with me.”
Coco’s face went from creamy white to apple red in a matter of seconds. She could already feel her cheeks heating up the second Limelight had finished her sentence.
“Whoa, tone it down. Everypony on set already knows how much you like him, so there’s no need to blush every time you hear his name.”
“It’s not that, it’s just…I don’t know.”
Realizing that she could actually come dangerously close to revealing her secret to somepony she barely even knew, Coco soon backtracked into the land of half-truths.
“I feel like he’s so different from the stallion I thought I knew. And I’m not sure I like the changes that come with being around him these days.”
“But you still love him, right?” Limelight asked.
“I’m not sure I can. For one thing, my family hates him. And everything he’s said to me lately tells me he hates them right back.”
At this point, Coco was almost happy to see the door finally approaching her sight. The last thing she wanted was to relive the closest call she’d had this week, when Mosely had come dangerously close to figuring out Rarity’s plan. He’d found it suspicious from the beginning that a pony who’d so blatantly opted out of the production would come trotting back begging for a spot, but he hadn’t really shown it until a couple of days ago, right in the middle of a cast dinner. Rarity, perhaps against her better judgment, had chosen to go alongside Coco to ensure everything went without a hitch, but not even she could stop it.
An hour or so into the gathering, Rarity had left for the restroom, and with no direct opposition in sight, Mosely made his move. With a quick grab of her hoof, he dragged her into an empty corner of the room before she realized what was happening.
“You know,” he whispered in her ear, “I’ve never been gladder fate chose you as our costume designer. I’ve heard plenty about that other mare’s skills, but really, I don’t trust her one bit.”
“She heard you needed help,” she’d responded. “You kept wondering how you were going to find a replacement for Suri once you fired her, and now you have your answer.”
“You really think she just came for that? If that’s the case, she sure picked a suspicious time to show up. You know there are ponies around who blame me for your accident. For all you know, she could regret not having taken the job. With all the attention you’ve been getting as of late, it wouldn’t be too unreasonable of an assumption to make.”
“But Rarity isn’t like that.”
“How many times have you met her? Two or three? Ponies have a way of deceiving you into thinking they’re somepony else.”
“I’ve seen that firsthoof,” Coco had replied. Just like you, Mosely.
“Well, I’ll be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt until she proves otherwise, for your sake at least. But what I can tell is that she wants to tear us apart. From there, you’d lose your position of safety within this play, and those above me would fire you on the spot. She pretends to care so she can leech off you. I’ve seen it before countless times, and I couldn’t do anything to prevent it. But you know I couldn’t let that happen to you, right? Losing a valuable employee and marefriend like you would be too much of a cost for any of us to bear.”
Too scared to even consider how much more he really knew, Coco merely nodded her head, focusing all her energy into making it look like she really agreed with him.
“I—I’ll be more careful around Rarity,” she’d told him.
“You know, with the way things are going, someday you might have to choose between the two of us. And I’m afraid that you may end up making a choice you’ll end up regretting.”
“I won’t. Because I know who my allies are.”
Everything in her was telling her to say something else, anything else that would convince him without making her stomach turn just thinking about it. Somehow, though, the lines still flowed out of her mouth.
“I wouldn’t give you up for anything or anypony, Mosely.”
Right as Rarity was exiting the restroom stall and making her way back into the main area, the first thing she saw was Coco leaning against a wall. Kissing Public Enemy Number One as if she’d never seen the darkness.
****
“Um, Coco? Equestria’s waiting for you to come back from wherever you are.”
When Limelight gave her a slight poke on the nose, the costume designer finally realized that no matter how hard she’d tried to avoid thinking about it, the recent memory had come anyway. Ever since, she’d done everything she could to put her mask back together, the one she’d had before Bambi had told her everything. She’d worn it all week, and yet somehow, every time she remembered letting herself fall into Mosely’s arms that night, it cracked a little more.
“You say you’re trying to get over him, and yet you’re still stuck in your daydreams,” said Limelight. “I mean, sheesh, I’ve heard some stallions like those types of mares who bend over backwards to deny their love, but that doesn’t mean you have to lie to everypony else.”
“It’s not anything like that. I was just nervous about the play, after all. It is my first one on Bridleway, after all.”
“That would explain it, then. We’ve all been there, and honestly, I feel like ponies always pick on the new ones here. Next play, you’ll probably be in a lot better of a place.”
She doesn’t know just how soon that’ll come, Coco couldn’t help but think to herself.
“And besides,” Limelight continued, “if you need some cheering up, I’ve heard this night’s intermission is going to be extra special. Every once in a while, this acting company picks somepony on set for a special honor. And considering how well you’ve been doing with the costumes and how fond Mosely is of you, everypony’s been saying you’re the shoo-in for it. When he ended up confirming it this morning, nopony was surprised.”
“Am I really doing that good of a job here?” Coco finally asked after a few seconds of going through other possible responses. “I mean, I’m sure there are other ponies who deserve it more.”
“Well, it’s too late to convince them otherwise now. This’ll definitely solidify your job here; there’s no way anypony will fire you after what’s going to happen tonight. Even if you two don’t work out, you’re definitely going to be brought back for the next Stealer-Orange production. So stop worrying so much and take it in!”
“It works like that? If a collaboration team likes a pony enough, they keep giving them job offers?”
“Yeah,” Limelight replied, slightly confused by her question. “It’s like anything else. They try out new workers and actors, and when those don’t work, they don’t ask them back. You can end up getting a job with another company after that, but that means you have to build up a whole new loyalty thing with them, so the sooner you can get a famous one to like you, the better. On the same vein, once you get known for being on one, you’ll be associated with them for most of your career. Tonight’s the night you’ll be drafted to Stealer-Orange for good, so to speak.”
Hearing that, Coco suddenly couldn’t keep her hooves from galloping as fast as they could, even though she’d stopped to talk to Limelight.
“Wait up!” the actress yelled after her. “I know it’s a lot of pressure, but it’s going to be all right. I shouldn’t have said anything, and I’m sorry. I was really afraid when I first became tied to Stealer-Orange. I was afraid I wouldn’t get any more deals, but the opposite happened. It’s going to be okay, just trust me.”
Being tied to these ponies for the rest of her life, knowing that she might never be able to leave Mosely’s side now, all Coco could think was that this had to have been planned from the beginning. This was never about how well she did her job; he had to have known she was going to leave.
But she couldn’t let it get to her at this point. Doing anything less than that would shatter the mask she had been trying so hard to repair.
“It’s nothing,” she responded. “No need to apologize. Now, I suppose you want to see that dress I told you about?”
As Limelight walked into the room and let herself fall under the spell of a newly sewed gown, Coco realized that dread and relief could, and occasionally did, intermingle.
****
Limelight had left not too long after Coco found the headpiece she’d been looking for, but then again, perhaps that was for the better. For one, it certainly gave her more time to throw herself into the last shreds of work for tonight, and less time for her to think about how her plans for anything beyond that had just been bungled. There was only one thing that mattered right now, and that was the last sparkles of the dress.
She’d intentionally crafted it to fit the play’s magic theme, though not so much out of novelty but of fear. To everypony else’s knowledge, she was just finishing up a few spare costumes in case any of the major pieces got torn during performance, nothing out of the ordinary. The only reason she’d even let somepony like Limelight, whom she barely even knew, find out about it was because she’d been put on the spot and couldn’t come up with a better excuse. She couldn’t help but silently hope it wouldn’t be the next thing the actress would chat about when she was getting her makeup done.
Not that it would be such a bad thing for the stylists to know about, or anypony else, for that matter. Her main concern was making it resemble the other costumes to the point where it would be inconspicuous. That, in a sea of darkly-dyed capes and glittering star patterns, nopony would suspect that it was to be worn offstage.
“Amazing work as always,” she had heard him say about her original design, which he’d caught her sewing just before her stay in the hospital. “Almost enough to turn a street filly into a princess.”
He’d muttered that last bit in a voice too low to hear, but Coco could pick up on it. In her desperation to prove Bambi’s statements, she’d learned to tune herself to even his most subtle quirks. She’d kept working on it for a couple days before finally realizing that she no longer associated it with her daughter, that Mosely’s remarks about it were the only thoughts she could summon. When nopony was looking, she stuffed the unfinished dress into a closet, wishing she could do the same for all the other little trinkets that reminded her of him.
Of course, she’d put plenty of extra details into the dress that would differentiate it from all the rest. Its navy fabric was just a tinge lighter, something that could only be discerned if you had the color cards for both. There were just a few more diamonds than stars on it. There was a little less glitter, since Babs had never really been one for that sort of thing. To an undiscerning eye, she’d look no different from any of the foals acting in the production.
It wasn’t the nicest or the most original design she had. But if it meant not getting heckled by Mosely again, and if it made up for at least a fraction of the pain she’d caused her family, then it was definitely worth it.
A few ponies had asked her to watch over dress rehearsals, but for the most part, most of the odd jobs they asked her to do could be done straight from her office. Even after she’d finished the dress, she was hesitant to just leave it behind, and she would always give the door a careful lock when she left. Every time she did this, a part of her sighed in exasperation, lamenting just how paranoid she’d become over the past few months. But the logical side of her knew otherwise: very few things in this theatre were Mosely-proof. She certainly couldn’t outcon him, but she could at least try to predict when he would be most likely to pop in.
Two hours remained until everypony had to get on stage, and he still hadn’t shown up. At this point, Coco was just finishing up her last unicorn headband, which several other actors had requested after Limelight was able to run through her entire performance without a hitch. She had an extra-large bag of mixed nuts on her desk, knowing that she probably wouldn’t leave the theatre until late in the evening. At that point, most of the crew would probably just go celebrate with ciders and extravagant meals. Coco, on the other hoof, would have been just as happy going to the diner where she’d first made the fateful announcement to Babs.
At least that place had good memories.
Sometimes, she wondered if she was making too big of a deal about the whole affair, that there was just something about her that couldn’t handle pressure. After all, this would be the second job she’d quit in just under a year. Sure, it would be for her family’s benefit this time, but the harsh reality weighed on her nonetheless. Even with all the stress she’d been put under on set, she still compared it to her time with Suri and felt her treatment to be better, within the workplace, at least. Outside of it, as much as she’d blown it up to be, she’d still only been with Mosely for a little over a month and a half. Relatively speaking, she still had it pretty good.
Even if it felt like it’d been a lot longer, like time itself had slowed down.
Everything she could do for the play had already been done. The thoughts invaded her mind once more.
They would stagnate there until a sudden knock at the door alerted her to the outside world.