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TCC56


“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.” - Patrick Rothfuss

Sequels1

T

Wallflower Blush used to be a nobody - an invisible girl no one noticed and no one cared about.

Now she's managed to find friends, love and even something resembling popularity.

She's really turned her life around.

Her life.

Someone else is looking for a shortcut.


Written for A Most Delightful Ponidox.

Reviewed by PresentPerfect to earn a rating of Highly Recommended!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

This is one of the most creative takes I've seen on Wallflower's myriad of internal issues. I don't even know what to say right now, just... Damn son. Is good.

And the way you subtly weaved her past struggles re: short sleeves shirts, knots, etc was super well done. Truly an excellent and unsettling story all around 👏

Warped and spooky, but most disturbing of all is how much sense the logic makes in context. :pinkiegasp: I particularly like the “lady or tiger” ending.

Why would you notice someone invisible like me?

Seems someone got hoist by her own petard...

What a gut-wrenching spin on the old evil twin trope.

And... no tragedy tag. Wouldn’t have read it if that had been there.

10452808

Ooh. Right. Thanks for reminding me! I was worried that this was gonna be a Kill And Replace sitch.

Well, I'm gonna follow this.

Nice, creepy story, TCC56!

I wonder if there'll be a revelation that people do notice Pony!Wallflower, because people are gonna look for her...

Wait, this is Complete... :rainbowderp:

10452842

Wait, this is Complete... :rainbowderp:

Hence the downvote.

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10452894

Wait, this is Complete... :rainbowderp:

It's complete.

For the contest.

Like Cleaved before it, I may do a bonus chapter later on to follow-up the scene as it stands. But what's here is what I want to put into the contest - it covers the story-moment I wanted to present.

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Even if Ponyflower say's her copy is the only one with the key, the other members of the gardening club will want to enter the shed at some point. She also didn't gag her, a couple of screams in the morning will catch attention and make discovery easier.

Ponyflower is really bad at kidnapping.

And more importantly, you may look the same, but you ceirtanly don't feel the same. And Sunset, empathy incarnated, will know that something's off, and a quick mind-check will blow the cover completly.
And when that happens, Ponyflower will be an excelent addition to the statues in Celestia's garden. Or its soil.

10452908

Ponyflower is really bad at kidnapping.

Yes, for the reasons you note as well as others.

Well, someone is going to need an awful lot of therapy after this....

So many hyphens and not a dash to be found.

I don't have somepony to save me from myself like you did.

Moments before she goes to meet have a date with that very same pony. :facehoof:

"[…] Why would you notice someone invisible like me?"

Well played. Not just this line, the whole concept at play here.

I'm slightly disappointed that there isn't more; I'd think it wouldn't take long for a conclusion of some sort to be possible, given that it appears pony-Wallflower's plans will unravel rapidly. On the other hand, I can see why you'd want to stop it here for the very same reason.

Ah. There was a rational explanation - this was her extradimensional magic horse self. Of course.

I do love this setting.

... or the shame of throwing away every short-sleeved shirt she could never wear again.

Yeah, baggy sweaters carry some unfortunate implications. :fluttershyouch:

The human world making its way into the published Friendship Journal is a truly fascinating concept. What would most ponies think of such a revelation? Especially the ones who'd known Sunset?

I honestly quite like how the loose ends—human Wallflower left ungagged, the pony's continued use of Equestrian diction, Sunset's powers, etc.—leave some hope without spelling anything out. Much like the ending circumstances, this seems like all hope is lost, but calm contemplation shows a number of possibilities to consider. Wonderful snapshot of some terrible circumstances. Best of luck in the judging.

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Yeah, baggy sweaters carry some unfortunate implications. :fluttershyouch:

Is that from where all the 'Wallflower secretly cuts herself' stuff comes from?

So many hyphens and not a dash to be found.

My feeling exactly, I confess.

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Hahaha, adorable as ever.

I'm aware of your work, but a lot of people (that write/reads about Wally) seem to agree that she does, so I wondered if there was an actual canon hint to it.

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Is that from where all the 'Wallflower secretly cuts herself' stuff comes from?

waves wildly at all the Scampy

But more directly: while the show (for obvious reasons) can't/won't address it? Wallflower is extremely strongly coded to fit the mold of a teen struggling with depression issues. It's a common problem, she fits it very closely and the secondary/tertiary behaviors of depression are usually hidden or disguised in ways that Wallflower demonstrates.

It helps that Wallflower is one of a very narrow slice of characters in popular media (and basically the only in the over-arching MLP canon) who visibly wrestles with said issues, so those who deal with that latch on to her. Even beyond that, it creates an avenue to deal with a serious and important subject that's often ignored through a character that can do it without being pulled out-of-character.

Is some of it projection? Yeah, maybe. But it also fits her - after all, this is a girl who's song literally ends with "Won't be long before I'm gone".

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I can totally agree with that. It's one of the reasons I really like the character (the long messy hair also makes her adorable) and relate to her personally.

And yeah, proyecting happens, I actually did it with Chrysalis insanity on one of my stories, and I do have some moments of my life I can easily mold into Wally and remain in character.

It was the comment of the sweater that actually brought up the question, as I don't really know if that is a signal (my ex had cut herself but didn't hide it).

I do find the topic uncomfortable since I had the impulse to cut or hurt myself before. I almost didn't read the story when someone mentioned it in the comments, but I gave it a try and enjoyed it.
Hope you do something more with this later and good luck in the contest.

Welp, you've managed to take Wallflower - a character whose very nature is that she hates herself - lashing out at someone else, and you've made it work. Because even though she's lashing out at someone else, really she's still lashing out at herself. Well played.

You play off the pair's shared history brilliantly as well, from evil Wallflower explaining her plan out of sheer spite ("I don't want what's best for you [...] and I think you know why") to the dark moments they both knew that they shared, working them into a conversation without needing explanation.

Add to that some lovely, subtle hints of those darker moments - expertise in knot-tying, mention of short sleeves and all - and this turns out to be quite a lot deeper than your average evil twin clone story. Different and thoroughly enjoyable!

I'm really surprised no one wrote this before. This is a genius idea, especially for the Ponidox contest. When you consider that Wallflower's defining characteristic from Forgotten Friendship is that she hates herself above anyone else—even more than Sunset—destroying her own life, even in another form, makes a ton of sense.

Lot of great tension in here. The subtle hints with the sweater and the knots were great touches. I know there's a sequel (and I'm reading that in a sec), but I would be surprised if Fake Wallflower actually succeeded in her endeavors. Even without the geode, Sunset is too observant. :ajsmug:

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I never thought that Wallflower cut herself. I assumed the baggy sweater was because she was too poor to afford anything better. Same with the rest of her outfit.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Ho, shit! :D

This is painfully short. How dare you just end the story there! :raritydespair:

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