23-Into the Sky
A lot has happened in the week since, well, I guess a rescue by the Terror of the Sun, the wrath of Celestia, the breaker of day… Mom. Yeah, that took some getting used to as I found myself constantly pinching various body parts to see if I was dreaming all of this up.
I mean how should one react when they find out their mother, the being that brought them into the world, is an almost immortal goddess… sister… clone thing (I’m still not entirely sure how that works out between my mother and the princesses), that also happens to be the literal personification of Celestia’s dark side. Family reunions are going to be pretty awkward from this point onwards.
But anyway I’m getting off track. When I woke up for the first time after sleeping on the revelation that my mother was The Daybreaker herself and that my father knows, yet doesn't care. The *ugh* coddling began.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love my mom to death but having to deal with her motherly protectiveness and instinct for the second time around was not fun in the slightest. Having the cerebral development of a child with the mind of that of a fully grown adult also didn’t help in those matters as I found myself waking up most nights screaming and in a cold sweat thanks to the trauma of Luna and my magical nuke.
She treated me as If I was made of pure sugar on the verge of melting into nothingness during that first week while she cleaned up the old griffon house.
I mean, it wasn’t wrong *per se* with my wings being held together through hopes and dreams whilst my lower spine ever so slowly mending itself back together. But goddamnit, it was getting annoying to my inner adult.
In other news, however, during that week there were also a lot of various upsides. The big one was that I began to feel my legs again!
Thanks to some magical shenanigans with my alicorn body getting to drink up and radiate magic it began healing! The extra *kicks* my mother gave to my magical reserves helped too but I have no idea how that stuff works. And frankly, I didn’t give a damn back then. I could feel my legs!
Still couldn’t use them though as my mental commands did jack but being able to feel them was a step in the right direction. The same was happening to my wings and my horn with its cracks shrinking and my feathers *ugh* molting.
Jesus that uhhh…that was not in the slightest bit comfortable. Having my mother basically laugh at my suffering whilst also cooing at getting to witness my first molt did not help in the slightest. I thank god that she didn’t have a camera there to document my suffering to show to all her friends. The baby pictures were already far too much thankyouverymuch.
…don't look at me like that.
Stop it, I'm not telling it.
Stop.
No.
…
Ugh, fiiiine… I’ll tell you the stupid story of me suffering via the medium of molting feathers. Just makes my wings itch thinking about it *shudder*. But I’m only telling you this so that you will shut up about it. My recovery is not something I would like to keep remembering but if you must know for the rest of my story to make sense then so be it.
The day had started like any other.
I woke up surprisingly well-rested. The Sun was just peeking in through the nearby balcony and my body did not wish to faceplant back into its soft and cuddly prison. Birds were singing in the morning mist and I could see the very slight specs of commuting griffons above the faraway town.
I still could not help but stare out that window and admire the view. The way the griffonian city seemed to flow so naturally with the mountain it had built itself upon. With the naked eye, I genuinely couldn't properly tell where the mountain stopped and the town began.
We would definitely have to visit that place in the near future if for no other reason than to admire that sweet sweet architecture. Prying my eyes away from the window, I sat up and stretched. My back popped and my wings expanded unconsciously, removing the knots that had built up overnight. A breeze brushed against my wings and I shivered.
Something was different, my wings felt itchy and my bed felt like it was filled with some sort of soft…stuff, poking into my body. Confused, I looked down to see what was poking into me and froze.
There were feathers everywhere. And I don’t mean a small pile, I mean they were everywhere. My bedding was basically just feathers, some broken, most shredded like cheese, and few intact. Just where the hell did these feathers come from?!
Another breeze brushed against my folded wings and caused me to shiver once again. Once again confused as to why I was suddenly being chilled to the core by simple breezes I extended my wing to see whether something was wrong.
“So that's where the feathers came from”
I dumbly say aloud some manner of shock as I witness my almost bare wing.
“Hey, Mom?” I call out still dumbly staring at my naked wing. My gaze switched between the one I had extended and the other still pressed against my back. Both were almost completely bare, the tiniest hints of regrowing feathers visible at the roots.
“Hmm?” I hear my mother humm through the walls before she popped her head in the doorway, her horn glowing a brilliant orange. Once her slitted eyes settled on my wings, a large smile began to form on her face and her eyes lit up with a sparkle only a mother could get.
“Should I be worried?” I ask as I continue to stare dumbly at my wings before a cold breeze forced a shiver throughout my body.
“No, of course not my little Sunspot. In fact, I think you’ve just made me the happiest mother on the planet.” I heard my mother say as she approached the bed and took a seat by my side. Her horn glowed a warm orange as I watched all my discarded feathers be gathered up in her aura before she picked one out of the air and held it close to her chest.
“What are you doing,” I ask as I meddle around with a nearby blanket in an attempt to cover my wings from the breeze that had continued to assault them.
“Oh, just something us mothers do. It's not every day after all that you get to experience your daughter's first molt. Oh, I’m going to frame this, hang on, I know there was a case somewhere in this house.” She exclaimed as she closed her eyes and the aura around her horn increased. I could hear the sounds of rummaging throughout the rest of the house as she was no doubt ‘feeling’ with her magic for what she was looking for.
“Mom, do that later, explain the situation to the confused daughter now, please?”
That seemed to break her out of her motherly… whatever it was, as the distant sounds of magic had stopped and she looked down at me sheepishly.
“Sorry, my lovely little sunspot. This is a big moment, after all, once those new bigger, and stronger feathers come in I’ll finally be able to teach you to fly! Now that those young and…broken…feathers are all gone.” Her features darkened when she mentioned my previously injured wings. Deciding not to push the big angry momma bear any further I decided to try and steer the topic away from, well, that.
Then what she actually said registered in my brain. “Wait… you’re gonna teach me how to fly!?” I exclaimed in excitement as I practically jumped out of the makeshift blanket nest I had created.
Only to immediately retreat into it as the cold air slammed against my naked wings and sent a chill so icey up my spine I swear it felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on me.
My mother laughed at my antics before she embraced my blanketed self in a warm embrace, making sure to avoid my nearly healed horn.
“Yes, yes. But it's no use to be jumping around with your wings as bare as they are now. Here, tell you what, with that horn of yours almost as good as new and you, full with as much energy as the little star that you are.” She said with a nuzzle, causing me to giggle in return. “Why don’t I see if I can find a nice jacket for you and we can see about getting you back on your hooves again and go for a walk around the house?”
Hearing that I would finally be able to properly stretch my legs and not just hobble and limp around my room sent me over the sun. Sure I would most likely take several hundred facefuls of dirt and end up with far more akin to dark chocolate than alabaster-white by the end of it. But damn it all, I wanted to run again!
“Now” My Mother continued. “Let's see if I can scrounge up something hot and sweet for you in the meantime. Get some fire back in your body before you freeze.”
Over a week would pass before I was truly back to 100% percent. My ‘adult’ feathers had grown in fully, If you could call them adult considering I still looked like I was twelve, however, they were truly something to behold. They now held a slight orange coloring along their edges. The color grew in intensity as it reached the feathers' tips giving them a warm gradient.
It was certainly a nice look but what really took the cake was just how densely packed my feathers now were. Like seriously I had no idea they would be this dense. Like, take a look at this.
*Muffled sounds of an extending wing*
Can’t even see the light through these feathers. And I thought that little safety bubble I had before was nice. With these new bad boys, I could smother a pony to death, probably even myself if I held my wings too tightly together.
Well, other than that, thanks to my mother’s continued magical support in restoring my horn, it looked as good as new now. With only a small scar left as a reminder that it ever happened at all.
My legs were also back to near 100%. I could run, climb trees, and basically do anything I could before with only minor difficulty. Sometimes I would still trip and or begin to limp once my muscles decided to say ‘screw you, it's time to stop now. When that happened I was done for the day. I had used my full range of motion and only several good night's worths of sleep would bring me back up. Till then I had my *eugh* ‘Safety stick’ or Cane if you get technical, but I am not an old woman so I get to call it my safety stick, to help me stay upright in the meantime.
Luckily it wasn’t needed a majority of the time but I still had to keep it on me just in case something happened. I don’t doubt that it was magic or enchanted to the Sun and back by my mother to alert her should anything happen considering every time I so much as went near the thing my fur tingled with magic.
Anyway, now that I was finally up and about lots of things had changed since I was first brought here to this once decrepit house. Thanks to my mother's tireless work, and lots of magic, it had been almost fully restored to its former glory.
The broken tiles and overgrown walls that once plastered this house were long gone. Its egg-like shape became fully visible and able to really show off the beauty of griffon architecture. Or at least, the old griffish architecture as this house was far, far different from what I could see in the distant griffon city.
But aside from the restoration of the house, it was finally time for me to learn how to use my magic, to learn how to fly, and fully take advantage of the gifts my heritage had given me. Because I was not just Jolyne, the unfortunate human that was sent here by some cosmic accident.
I was Jolyne, the firstborn daughter of the wrath of the Sun, the terror of the skies, the burning vengeance of Celestia herself. And we were going to get home, no matter the cost. And to do that I needed to know how my new…my actual body worked. I was going to fly and that unfortunately meant I needed a little…kick, from my mother.
“Are you sure this is the right way to teach me?” I ask with a gulp as I look down the very high and steep cliff we were standing at the summit of. Meanwhile, my mother hovered several feet in front of me, above the large drop I was currently looking down into.
Her large wings flapped methodically, their draft clearly visible among my dense rippling feathers. She looked at me expectantly, her arms crossed in front of her as she looked at me authoritatively like a no-nonsense teacher…or queen.
“Yes. You're an Alicorn after all, and not just any alicorn, you're my daughter as well. You may not consciously know what to do, but your Pegasi instincts most definitely do.” My mother began as she flew over towards me before booping me on the muzzle. “And no daughter of mine is going to remain flightless if I have anything to say about it.”
I look back down the cliff. “But are you really, really sure? It’s a…long…way down.” I gulp at the end of my sentence as I hear the clip-clop of my mother's hooves landing beside me.
“You’ll be fine, just remember what I taught you right?”
“To…spread myself out to slow my fall…”
“Yes”
“…extend my wings to start a glide…”
“Yes, keep going”
“…And finally flap my wings, together, to generate lift!”
“Very good! Now let's put it into action shall we?”
“Ye-ahhhhHHHHHH!” And suddenly I was falling as I felt myself get tipped over the edge and off the side of the cliff.
My limbs flailing wildly at the sudden assertance of gravity with my lungs still screaming out with a sound only a falling child could make.
“Cmon, do what I taught you to do.” I hear the calm and reassuring voice of my mother as I look to the side and see her falling alongside me, a relaxed and comforting smile on her face.
Right, yes, my mom was here. She told me exactly what I needed to do. She was there for me, she would catch me if something went wrong.
Realizing that I ceased my yelling and focused on doing exactly what she told me.
Spreading out my limbs as far out as they could I could instantly feel myself begin to slow as I caught the wind.
Okay so far so good.
Feeling confident I extended out my wings. Unfortunately, it appears I had… mistimed the extension of my right wing as I suddenly found myself upside down with my wings flapping uselessly in the updraft and my gaze to the sky.
Thinking fast I finished extending my other wing and attempted to flip myself back over… it didn’t work as I suddenly found my mother above me looking with a disappointed look in her eye. An orange glow proceeded to envelop my being as I felt myself grind to a stop mid-air.
“Let’s try again, and this time, make sure to extend them before you jump, hmm?”
“Before?! You pushed me off!”
My mother giggled sheepishly. “Got to keep you on your toes my little sunspot.”
I pursed my lips in annoyance as I was flown back up to where we had started to give it another go.
This time I made sure my mother wasn’t going to pull a fast one on me as I took a deep breath, extended my wings as far out as they could go, and… was tipped over the edge again by my pesky mother who had managed to sneak around me.
“Oh god dammmniiittttt-!” I yelled out as I felt myself begin to fall again.
Only this time instead of falling… I flew, or well glided, but goddammit I flew! I actually flew through the air! And my god it felt…amazing. The feeling of wind brushing past and through my feathers and mane was and still is indescribable.
“Yes, Jolyne, you’re doing it! Now flap your wings! Flap them with all you got my little sunspot!” I could hear my mother cheering me on from behind me, and with a massive smile on my face, I did just that.
Tensing my muscles I gave a mighty flap with both of my wings intent on making my mother proud.
Only to immediately miss time my flap and begin to wobble dangerously. Luckily my mother was flying there right next to me as she very delicately adjusted my wing and prevented me from spinning out.
“You can do it. Concentrate, Jolyne.” My mother said encouragingly as I gave another wobbly and experimental flap.
“I…I’m doing it!” I yell out in excitement as I watch the smile on my mother's face grow tenfold.
“Yes you are, my little sunspot… yes you are.”
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Damn, you started writing fan fiction with this theme seven months earlier than the same one in the Russian segment of fandom (we're too late.).
I'll read it, but a little later.
Admins: "By your command!"
*takes over main page for you*
we wanted a update how about 3 updates
From bottom of the Barrel to sky high with mother dear ♡
Celestia & Luna will get a probably not only verbal lashing in time for what they did...
Great to see the story continue!
Hey! It’s good to see this back. I was hoping for an update for a while now, and it’s finally here!
You’re writing in this chapter is by FAR an improvement over how your first one is written, and I certainly applaud your hard work. I do wonder though if you are thinking of updating the chapters already out, considering your improved writing skills and the lore inconsistencies within the story (at first Joylene was 6, now she is 11-12 with barely any time passage) which would definitely improve the quality of your earlier chapters. But overall, thanks for another chapter for this story!
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cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/841393714369789953/979849068517949480/Six_kill_me.png
one step at a time
"The time has come.
Execute order 312 and occupy the featured page."
At this point you could outright call her Celestia's Identical Twin, and that Celestia is the evil one.
Damn I really forgot what this fic was about, Im'a read it all again
it's good
also,UPDATE
so are you going to do this routinly now? where you take over the feture box by updating only when you have 3 storys updates at once to go? Cause if so go right ahed as that is hilariuos
This mother-daughter situation does bring a smile upon my face. Bravo!
Good job on this chapter, can’t wait for more 👍
Thanks Conner for a great chapter. Cheers!
HA!!!!!
I am happy to see that this is still alive.
I would like to see her reunite with Spike.
Looking forward to next update 😊
Yes! Finally, I've been waiting for you to continue this story.
I've read 14 chapters and I just can't compare our product with the local one.
1. How it all started.
Russian: a young student made a big firecracker (yes, we are beaten off) and wanted to blow it up with friends. On the way to the meeting place, the fuse of the homemade explosives ignited itself. As a result, the man was blown up.
A few months before, in Equestria, Celestia performs a ritual to expel Daybreaker from herself, enclosing her in an obsidian sphere. Over the past months, the evil version of Tia almost died inside the sphere, but one free soul (our main character) appeared in the spiritual world, which merged with Daybreaker, allowing them to free themselves from the sphere.
Local: A random magical phenomenon leads a person from our world to the world of Equestria. (I will not paint much, because everyone has read the beginning so)
2. Characters
Russian:
The main character (has no name) is a human, a man. A young guy, studying at an agricultural college. He doesn't know anything about MLP
Daybreaker is a mare, alicorn (+/- 1000 years old). A pyromaniac, a nymphomaniac, a masochist, a bit of a sadist, a self-confident egotistical sybarite with a terminal stage of narcissism, megalomania... and an inferiority complex because of its uselessness.
Celestia is a mare, alicorn. He has ruled Equestria for a thousand years, putting up with his alter ego. After Luna’s return, without talking to anyone, she encloses her other half in the aforementioned sphere so as not to be influenced (also because DB offered to "sleep" with Luna to let off steam).
Luna is a mare, alicorn. In this fan fiction, he acts as a peacemaker between his own sister and Daybreaker, because he has experience of interacting with Nightmarish entities.
Local:
Jolyne - as far as I understand, she is a human being, a girl. Loves history, MLP series, inquisitive nature, because of the child's body has become extremely impressionable.
Luna is a mare, alicorn. She has an explosive nature and sometimes she does before she thinks, is extremely caring about everyone who is dear to her, knows how to make her own mistakes and analyze them.
Celestia is a mare, alicorn. She has a secretive nature, knows how to manipulate the emotions of others, is inquisitive and playful, patient, has a tendency to self-blame. She acts less expressively than her own sister, however, sometimes does not know when to stop.
3. The general message.
Russian: the main character will get used to a new role, perhaps slowly restore relations with Celestia, because now what little remains of Daybreaker's mind is under the partial control of the person who got into her body. There will be a lot of emotional experiences like "Do I think so or DB?" (the plot has progressed very close)
Local: Jolyne will move on, maybe find the strength to forgive the mistakes of Celestia and Luna, or find a way to return home.
I'm sorry for writing so much.
I am grateful to the author for the work, but I will also say that events seem to me too fast. Personally, I don't have time to sympathize with the characters, as they are already sitting and smiling, drinking tea.
All the best and lots of inspiration.
11254675
Update:
I have reread the entire story and remember everything up to this point
it's back
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I am glad to see this story continued so recently after I asked about it. I hope that it goes on for many, many more chapters.
I have a question: what happened almost 90 years ago? (question to chapter 20)
O-okay... we have an unexpected plot twist here... well, we'll see how things unfold. (m6 comes and this one says, they say: "let Jolyne go, monster!" and Daybreaker is like this: "I will not give you my daughter" M6 enters the battle with DB, gets a kick and goes to cry to Celestia. )
Will sunspot and the main 6 meet again
How long before Celestia and Luna get their just desserts for being so mean to that poor. Like she asked for a new body or to look like a evil version of Celestia. They knew that this yet they kept trying to blame her for something that hadn't happened.
Will jolyne meet the six again and introduce them to the original daybreaker
Celestia & Luna might have caused this to happen:
Gran trabajo, espero ver mas de este fanfic, realmente pense que habia muerto jaja, aunque lo vi muy tarde jaja
when is more?
After reading a few chapters (and dropping the story) I genuinely don't know how this fic has such a high score, it's literally just torture porn against a child that's done absolutely nothing and the prose in the earlier chapters I tried to read made this story feel like something I'd find on fanfic.net back in 2009 before people realized blasting sentences with font size changes and either italics and bold does nothing but piss readers off. I had an entire bit tearing the first half dozen or so chapters to shreds and then deleted it because I realized it wasn't constructive and was just me saying what's already been said (and ignored) a dozen times over so I'll just say two new things instead. First off, stop changing the font sizes and bolding sentences. That shit is a visual nightmare and is probably one of the biggest neon red "I'm an amateur writer" signs on the net. It looks awful and breaks the visual flow of a paragraph and even the entire chapter. There is genuinely no reason to do it, it just looks bad. Second off, less is more. You sometimes type like you're getting paid per word and you have a debt to the mafia that's due in a week. You'll have the characters give redundant information, describe things that have no purpose, and constantly have them begin or end sentences with Big Bang Theory jokes and quips that feel incredibly awkward and out of place. Holy shit, the random jokes destroy this story's tone. You'll go from beating orphaned children half to death to doing Big Bang Theory tier stand up at the drop of a hat and it kills the mood.
Haha, the character that just cried herself to sleep described the sun as a celestial object that emits photons! Normal people don't refer to the sun like that! What a quirky character! *holds up spork*. Haha woops, broke a kneecap again! Better hope they don't send me to the glue factory! *Audience erupts into laughter, credits scroll down the screen as "performed in front of a live studio audience" flashes on the bottom*. Haha I haven't been fed in two days and I'm starving to death! I'm as hungry as a.... small herbivore! *audience starts cheering as they furiously rip the flesh off of one another as the applause sign catches on fire. Nobody was mentally prepared for that exquisitely subtle humor. The death count was in the triple digits. It was pretty funny.*
11425287
yep. I am in the same boat as you and i wrote the story XD
I wrote this when I was still a complete novice and i am not lying when i say i cannot read through my own story without cringing uncontrollably
11425639
Make a spinoff where she wakes up and she's now in regular Equestria instead of this evil nightmare world and doesn't know how to cope with not being abused every two seconds.
"What are you talking about? Luna assaulting children? Forced to wear a magic inhibitor that kept you paralyzed? Celestia locked you up and starved you? You must've hit your head harder than we thought. Must've been quite the bizarre nightmare. I don't even know what could've made you think inhibitors turn anyone with "corrupted" magic into time bombs. What's the point of having magic suppression if it doesn't work on people that are most likely to need suppression? "
On the bright side, you have genuinely improved as a writer by a far margin since you wrote this one, so I'd say this story was worth it for no other reason than trial by fire.
Is this going to continue? If not maybe a rewrite..
11425639
Oh, it's not that bad. It's in decent english, has a plot, and the characters are of normal intelligence. Do you know how many stories here cant even hit this basic mark?
While it's no work of Ernest Hemingway, it's better than a lot of other stories on the site. It's also a fun read. I think that you are similar to myself. Very critical of our own work. Sometimes overly critical.
I do hope that you continue to add chapters. Many of us are invested in the character and really do want to know what happens next.
Monk
"The idea simply stated that when personal feelings are mixed with power, bad things happen." -Corvo
11425639
I’ve really enjoyed this story and I think you’ve done a great job so far.
I wonder what our little Sunspot will be doing 2023.
Luna and Celestia will sweat bullets for all they did to the Foal directly & indirectly...
11425639
I kinda know what feeling when reading over some of my first story, and so was the grammar awful! I managed to try to edit a couple of the especially cringy parts and the grammar in it is far better now, but saying it's a flawed story is an understatement.
Plz continue this.
aw man I keep seeing this story and getting excited, but then notice the anthro tag and just die inside a little
Press F.
11476315
F
11476390
Here you have confirmed my opinion.
Jolyne will use weaponized cuteness vs the once that hurt her.
The royal sisters acknowledged they deserve it.
The mane six realised they followed the bad guys:
camo.fimfiction.net/1ElbcqyI1MrL_ZJPQOQZ7BzZIDLEYlHPBFVZ-58yePA?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Fnewsfeed%2F000%2F960%2F338%2Fe55.gif
Update?
Glad to know she enjoy the time with her mother
She suffers so much
are we getting an update soon?
Is there going to be an update anytime soon?
Interesting story so far. Would like to know if/when it gets updated.
Is this story undergoing ze hiatus arc?
Continue ?
Yes or No ?
. . .
Amazing story with unexpexted turns, can't wait for more 😁