• Member Since 17th Mar, 2013
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Carabas


T
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At the height of the Great Crystal War, Lieutenant Rarity finds in her camp a strange mare claiming knowledge of how to end it.

But first, they must survive the coming battle.

Cover art from the gallery of Shamanguli. Edited by Cursori and Beltorn. An entry for the RariTwi Bomb.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 34 )

9879973
This is the sort of content I write hoping against hope to receive.

Oh wow. Beautiful characterization, and chilling battle scenes. "Poisoned aurora" is a brilliant description of the dark magic's flare!

And Rarity as brave, traumatized young officer, quick of thought and quick with a blade... So good!

9879988
Thank you! Unhappy AUs inspire fancy descriptions. No accounting for why, exactly.

Adapting Rarity and doing her justice was fun to attempt as well. Especially the sword-fighty bits.

Incredible.

An absolute mastery of the English language was displayed here, along with some brilliant character work in both reimagining the canon characters and creating new ones that I quickly fell in love with. I have no words for just how good this story was.

9880163
Thank you. That's an exceedingly gratifying comment to receive. :twilightsmile:

Re-imagining canon in the context of the AU was great fun to attempt. It's undeniably grimmer, but I tried to keep the main pair recognisable.

9880186
You succeeded. Both your Rarity and Twi are undeniably themselves, even if that self is a bit different from what we've seen in the show. :twilightsmile: :raritystarry:

metal meeting metal and and shrieks as metal

Is the 2nd 'and' here an extra, or is it Rarity's frazzled consciousness leaking into the narration?

Very, very good.

You realize you absolutely cannot stop here? The gallant lieutenant and her mysterious scholar setting off on their journey into almost certain doom looking for the one chance to end a hopeless war. I can see how it ends now, captured, imprisoned, tortured, the heroines are dragged before the king himself in his black throne room. He taunts them, showing off his prized possession, the crystal heart, the secret core of his domination network, before the exection. In this blackest moment, true love's declaration, so close to the heart, detonates the entire domination network. As ponies are freed from their control across all of Equestria, Sombra and Rarity duel to the death in the crumbling ruins of the crystal castle.

Actually I could write it if that were ok.

9880731
That'll just be the author's perennially frazzled consciousness, alas. Thanks for spotting that. :twilightsmile:

9880829
Thank you!

9880848
No plans to follow this up, alas - I was content to just write what's shown and leave it open-ended. That's a suitably dramatic final confrontation you've sketched out there, though. If you or anyone wants to take it further, feel absolutely free. :pinkiehappy:

This was great! Good job imagining Twilight in the Sombra War Timeline and how Rarity could get involved in the front lines. The battle scenes were well done and I was sad to see so many ponies die, and Twilight and Rarity had interesting interactions.

yessss
op twi

Rarity clashes swords with sombra
Twilight being all 'been there done that'

yessssss

Comment posted by Arcfoxx deleted October 14th

Holy mother of Luna that was good
Was sad to reach the end though........

9882022
Glad you like it! Adapting the main pair to the setting and bouncing them off one another was good fun to write, as was trying to do justice to the sheer confused horror of the battle.

9882110
Glad to have provided all these elements. Elongated yeses are always fun to receive. :twilightsmile:

9882380
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

For my part, I turned to the kerfuffle.

She saluted, then went back to performing maintenance on her leg. Then I turned to the captive.

Because I have a little sister in Manehattan, and a mother still

It's amazing how much impact one word in the right place can have. In this case, it's "still."

On came the steady trot, sixty hooves crashing on the stone perfectly in lockstep.

The synchronized blows broke the bridge and sent them all tumbling into the Neighagra.
Or not, but I still had time to dream.

He’s at fault here, for all of this. Him, and nopony else.

I almost find myself hoping that this version of Starlight got herself enthralled. Almost.

It was mad. It was an utterly mad plan, and I suspected that even if Twilight explained it all in exact and excruciating detail with the aid of diagrams, it wouldn’t stop being mad.

Later, she did exactly that.
I was right.

Magnificent work, from the grinding despair and horrific chaos of battle to the beginning of hope and healing by way of diving into the monster's maw. Thank you for a great read and a few ideas I may have to appropriate for my own story set in this timeline.

9883463
Exceedingly glad you enjoyed this one, Fan, and that it delivered the right progression of despair-to-chaos-to-hope. Feel free to appropriate any ideas from it you like. So as one of these ideas concerns the freelance researcher and her dashing new lieutenant friend. :raritywink:

And those are all excellent additional Rarity-thoughts. My hat's off to them.

Great, now I wanna see this as a whole story. Excellent write, good work setting up the world without it being blatant nor the focus. Interesting characterisation and, as I said, I really wanna see more of this haha

9887196
Thank you! I'm especially glad you like the way I handled the worldbuilding - I tried to avoid overt or blatant infodumps, and instead have it filled in naturally by the characters' observations and reactions. No plans on my part to write more of this, alas.

A compact, wonderfully written slice of war adventure with a lot of good emotion and a suitably badass Rarity and Sombra. Wonderful work! The cover art is also very delicious stuff.

9897599
Glad you like it! Getting across the emotion and harrowing nature of the setting was something I was keen to try and accomplish, as well as doing each character justice. Sombra's wonderfully smug and good fun, I ought to work with him more often.

slice of war adventure

The best tag combination. :raritywink:

9897720

Sombra's wonderfully smug and good fun, I ought to work with him more often.

I couldn't agree more!

The best tag combination. :raritywink:

When's knighty gonna add that one, huh?

Witch Sparkle and Officer Rarity strike out across the wasteland of despair to battle the Vile King in his lair, the growing familiarity with each other blossoming into a blinding furnace of love for each other. Will their feelings for each other be enough to finally overcome the darkest of evil?

Stay tuned next week to find out the exciting conclusion to this wonderous tale!

(loved this story)

9898953
Now there's the denouement I should have used. Albeit with a footnote or two muddying the definition of 'next week'. :raritywink:

(Glad you loved it.)

Wonderful! But the end is rather like trying to step down after the last stair in a dark basement.

9899584

Wonderful!

Thank you! :twilightsmile:

But the end is rather like trying to step down after the last stair in a dark basement.

There's a fun simile. How so?

9899616
I expected it to go on longer! :rainbowlaugh:

The emotional arc came to a landing spot quite nicely, but the plot was so interesting that I wanted more. Plus, I don't think I'll ever get tired of bad-ass Rarity.

9899626
Alas, I'll forever be one of those horrible people who decides, "Gosh, this is a fun setting, and these are a nice set of characters whose dynamics and chemistry work even when adapted to it. I bet there's heaps of story potential. Welp, it all gets 14,000 words to exist in and then it perishes."

Rarity kicking haunch and taking names is a thing the world needs vastly more of, no argument there. :raritywink:

That was really good. Great story.

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