Let’s say it’s six hundred-ish years ago, and you’re the King of Scots.

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You probably know how this sort of thing goes. There you are, mowing your grass on a day that can't decide whether to shine or drizzle on you, a few years and counting into your non-writing streak. Whatever thoughts you're having are at the expense of your lawnmower picking a fight with every passing tuffet and losing.

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Just as alicorns descend upon parched wastelands bearing storms and seeds, so too do kindly translators upon my horsewords. Dark Country's received a Russian translation by the kind efforts of oranzinispegasas, an undertaking which leaves me obliged and flattered. If you're interested to see

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A jolly update for folk who like either fanfic readings or The Motion of the Stars, and a downright rapturous one for folk who like both. My name is R has brought their vocal talent to bear on the story, complete with images and background music to help accentuate the tone. Motion's a fairly venerable piece of work at this point, but it's kept

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A nice breezy dialogue to ease in with:

CARABAS’ COMMON SENSE: So, a hypothetical conservation for you.
CARABAS: Two lines in and we’ve already got fictional discourse nested in the initial fictional discourse. Gosh, I must just love to live dangerously.
CARABAS’ COMMON SENSE: Wheesht. Let’s say you were talking to a friend one day, about this and that. Any friend at all. And they had something they needed to get off their chest.
CARABAS: What’s that?

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Amber Spark, accomplished word-smith and all-round sterling soul, could use some aid.

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Heyo, all!

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So this is why we deployed the hats. I've aft wondered.

Merry Christmas, all. It's been a moderately kinder year than 2020 on this front. Here's hoping it treated you mair kindly also and this finds you well.

Oh god, it's the festive season again, deploy hats, deploy hats.

Jake The Army Guy is doing science! Science about fiction and the fictional characters we love, no less. Lend assistance if you're able and willing to push back the frontiers of ignorance, or if you just really want to tell Jake why Such-and-such is the Best Pony.