• Member Since 11th Mar, 2017
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No worse than branch-and-bound in a double blind trial


Ever since Rarity knew she was a filly, she knew what it meant to be a lady. Her platonic friends were wonderful mares, yes, but her prince would sweep her off her hooves any moment now, if only she were a little more lady-like. That's what she tells Twilight, anyhow.

Unilaterally dubbed one of the top 10 fics of 2020 by review master Present Perfect.

This story is part of the First and Only Raritwi Bomb. A week's worth of stories and art all centered around Rarity and Twilight. If you liked it, the previous story posted is Carabas's "Sledding and Other Horrors", and you can find a master list of all Raritwi Bomb content here, https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/873741/the-raritwi-bomb-masterpost.

Thank you to Nonnie for prereading, as well as with fourths, listening to my proto-outline.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 66 )

Before I read this, I must know: How is Rarity not ladylike?

She makes her living with her hands... or hooves... or horn... whatever. The point is that she works, which is decidedly lower-class. Why, a seamstress can no more be a lady than a chamber maid can! Seriously, though, the canon, ahistorical explanation is that she does not herself follow the rules dictated in the above passages.



While what they said is indeed true in a class definiton, that's not what the story means by it. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that why Rarity isn't "ladylike" is kind of the whole point of the story, so answering you would probably mean spoilers galore. If you want to know sort of what you're getting into without TOO much involvement in the story, think about the event the author posted this story for, then read the prologue. The prologue is very short, and explains Rarity's thinking without getting into the actual plot. Along with reflecting on the event theme, that should give you what you're looking for without getting too deep.

An interesting setup you have here author, you have piqued my interest. Liked and tracked.

Thank you! And that is about 1/2 of what's going on ... the other half is implied here, but my lips are sealed :)

Ah, of course. One shouldn't jump to conclusions after all. Very well, consider my anticipation hightened further. Here's to tantalizing hints and the possibility of subversion of expectations. :twilightsmile:

Story looks good so far. The idea that Rarity has never dated anyone doesn't fit how I view the character, but I'll accept it for this fic, and it's important for the premise. Glad to see multiple fics with trans ponies in this RariTwi Bomb.

Twilight and Doctor Hooves is an old season one era fandom pairing that I was surprised to see again. It'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Well -- are there any canon pairings for Rarity? We see her crushing/pining on stallions (Blueblood, Simple Ways dude, Tom), but I don't believe she's ever explicitly been "in" a relationship, at least beyond a failed first date. Even in the finale, she and Twi are the ones left unpaired so this is totes canon compliant :grin:

It’s because twilight and rarity are secretly dating. Canon just doesn’t want to admit it.

Ah, in that case! I think you've come to the right fic :-)

Well, it's left purposely ambiguous on whether Fluttershy, AJ and Rainbow Dash are actually in relationships or not. I pretend Appledash isn't a thing because I just don't like them as a couple, but I feel that the intent was leaning more to couple them. Fluttershy and Discord actually I do believe is legitimately a "this can go either way" kind of thing.

My name is Rarity, and I am no perfect lady.

But Rarity the pony you just described as the perfect lady is you!

Rarity's voice in here is soooo good!

Self-esteem takes tiiiime

It's coming..! I've been busy with IRL stuff, then Non* and Jinglemas. But this story should be the new focus (and I finally have time off now) unless I get distracted by more shiny one-shots :pinkiecrazy:

A very important set of inner monologue revealed facts. So many things that go into how Rarity defines "lady", some big, some little, some just plain wrong (from our perspective).

I'd go a step further and say your comment summarizes this story's interpretation of Rarity well :) Thank you for reading!

Great chapter! I was expecting the romance with Dr. Hooves to be an ongoing thing in this story, so I didn't expect things to jump forward. Rarity's narration of the scene was great. Among the Rarity-narration genre (shrug), I don't think I've seen a story where she's this unsure of herself, and you handle it really well while keeping her in-character. And with this chapter, we start getting more explicit hints about why Rarity is so obsessed with being ladylike.

Thank you! I was expecting to drag the Dr. Hooves romance on longer too (and maybe if I do a v2 of this story, that can be retconned in) but there's not much "interesting" going on there, esp. from Rarity's perspective? I'm not sure; this is my first proper multichapter so pacing is a little wacky. Uncertainty is always fun, since it means you get tension just from the narration itself ... no shortage of things to write about if Rarity can spend pages spiraling and it remains nominally legible. And yes, the cat's out of the bag now.

Romance? Twilight, what did you go and do? “Yes, that is how the author advances the plot.” I stared off up to the brightly lit corner, noticing a lampshade hanging from above.

You smooth mofo.

The Princess, in dire straights, laying out curled up on the cold winter ground outside the Boutique, head staring at the floor of the door, hind legs dug into the snow bank beside the pavement. The Princess, forehooves outstretched to punch through the door the minute I swung it open. The Princess, overdressed in shoddy makeup, now a coloured river streaming down her muzzle leaving misty trails behind.

'Straights' should be 'straits' unless Rarity is trying for some kind of wordplay.

Pkft, trying? I rather think I'm succeeding, dear!

Since I have no interest in dating my platonic friend. Twilight.

🎵When Rarity was in Egypt's land...
Let my waifu gooooo!🎵

See... cuz she's... in denial! :pinkiecrazy:

Whaaaa? It's not like she's been dropping hints this entire time???

Oh Rarity, so determined to hold on to her misguided definition of lady, while the truth is cuddled softly within her hooves. :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight: “I love you, Rarity. You’re my best friend in the world, and as a scientist, there is so much I wish to discover about you. But for now, one question would suffice. I would to like to know… if I pull that off will you die?"

Rarity: "It would be extremely painful, darling."

I was thinking of how funny it would be if that romanitic little fantasy had taken a turn toward baneposting. Dreams do things like that, to me anyway. And I was drunk.

Well that escalated quickly. Especially since I had forgotten what happened at the end of the previous chapter, lol.

It's a red herring for the drama, darling! but given how last chapter ended it was too funny not to write

Looking forward to the next chapter.

This was a cute read, very nice. :raritystarry:

Though, it might be because I haven't read the first half in a while, but how, exactly, is Rarity Trans?

Thank you for reading!

It's possible I should have made it more clear in the first half - this was my first venture into longer stories and I'm still getting the hang of structuring/pacing/etc - but it was indicated obliquely throughout, e.g. "If only I had been born with fabric instead of a sewing needle, if only. What simplicity that would bring – to be accepted as a lady for simply existing, never having to prove myself." from Love Sickness. "Passing as a cis mare" from Hangover (part I - should be one chapter but I digress).

The overarching idea was "Rarity is trans; Twilight is not. Rarity transitioned young and blends into prejudiced Canterlot society but internalized strict heternormative ideas of ladyhood, afraid if she were not a perfect lady in the eyes of high society she would lose her social status. Twilight's a princess and can do what she wants. Rarity is gay but doesn't tell anyone because she is afraid and somewhat in denial; Twilight is bi but doesn't realize until now because she's as dense as her volume divided by her mass. Rarity is a hopeless romantic of the group; Twilight relies on Rarity for boyfriend advice. Which is a real pickle when Rarity has her own lavender feelings to work through... and a laundry list of internalized *phobias to overcome."

All of the above should be there but maybe doesn't shine thru as well as I would've liked. Oh well; I'm more happy to hit Complete than anything at this point tbh.


Rarity transitioned young

Ah, that was the only thing I had missed then. Thank you for the clarification. It was a lovely story that I enjoyed thoroughly.

Thank you! The out-of-universe bit is esentially all the trans stories on the site are *about* coming out and transition. I wanted to write a story with a trans protagonist dealing with the issues that can persist even if you pass.

Well, it was a good story, despite me missing that detail. I thought it was more about coming out as homosexual, with a dash of social class stigma. In either case, you captured that feeling well, of being unfairly ostracized by the thing you want to be most.

Only Rarity would dream in such exquisite detail.

An interesting look inside the mind of a Rarity. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Thank you for reading!

Comment posted by Fillyfoolish deleted Jun 15th, 2020

Fantastic job with this story! Glad things worked out in the end.

Your frantic and meandering narration does a great job getting us in Rarity's head as she struggles against her immense nerves and self-hatred. It really doesn't help for Rarity's nerves that Twilight is pretty thick when it comes to love. Yes, Rarity was definitely talking about Pinkie Pie that entire time, Twilight.

I was surprised to see that Twilight already knew that Rarity was trans. From how Rarity treated that fact, I figured she kept that a secret from everyone.


I write to inform you of a high crime committed against me: grand theft of a priceless payload. A thief, I insist, stole my heart.

(God, this is way before your time, isn't it?)

Very lovely stuff, Filly. Rarity had gorgeous narration and her problems were conveyed in a way that made them authentic to who she was. I can’t remember the last time a story on the site dealt with internalized issues in this way. It’s good to see that remedied.

The sequel hook is also very nice.

Thank you!

I mean... as I was writing this I was assuming the { M6, Sweetie Belle, parents } knew but nobody else did. It seems sort of implausible that she would get to this point with Twilight and not have told her, but I admit it's not at all indicated in this drift. (Originally the story *started* with a coming out scene but that was deleted as you might recall for being boring exposition.)

And... yes, probably is.

Thank you!

The sequel is your favourite of https://www.fimfiction.net/user/251940/Frost+Flower/stories :duck:

Goddess, but you really can write Rarity. It's over the top in the best. Possible. Way, if you'll pardon the cliché. And a trans character to boot! Not a cliché, trite caricature of one either, but one struggling with someone that easily could've been ripped from my own life. This was truly a joy.

I don't always make my way back to this fandom, but for pieces like this I'm glad I still check my feed. From a filly who would've been asleep a while ago if not for this, thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you truly for the kind words.

I’d like to imagine that while Rarity was confirming her inner feelings and trying to convince herself of things that it played out in real time. She just stands there with a number of conflicting followed by determined looks and ends shaking her hoof at the ceiling. Twilight meanwhile would have worried about this if she actually slept.

Also I’d like to think the crashing machine has gained sentience and has become aware of when it is spoken of.

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