• Member Since 17th Mar, 2013
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Carabas



T
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On a dark and stormy night, centuries in the past, Celestia and Luna walked into a bar.

They came looking for knowledge. They found a little more than that.

Written for Round 1 of the Four hooves and a pen writing group. Cover art from the gallery of Lopoddity.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 139 )

Hurrah new Celly and Loony!

This was truly worth the wait. I can't decide what makes me happier, the beautiful lyrical tone of the story, the amazing flare of the characters, Luna being a fight all by herself, the greys...All that and more I suspect.

6421625
New Celly and Luny! :pinkiehappy: Or, well, very, very old Celly and Luny. Either-or.

Glad you found that much to enjoy about it. :twilightsmile:

That is a closed group, so you might want to provide some details about the contest. :trixieshiftright:

6421989
The group itself's intended to be for regular prompt-writing - much like the Writeoff Association, only smaller and more informal - with no real contests, only writing according to a given prompt and getting feedback from the other writers in the group. In this case, the prompt was just 'On a dark and stormy night, two ponies walk into a bar. What are they after, and what do they end up finding?'

Thanks for the clarifications. I hadn't heard of this group before. How very mysterious! :raritywink:

6422153
We're a mysterious bunch, no question. On Wednesdays, we put on our black robes and conduct human sacrifices to the Ebon-Headed Fish God before analysing each other's sentence structure and word choice.

It's intended to be a fairly close-knit, invitation-only affair at present, I believe, but monokeras (our glorious founder) might crop up later in these comments if you want to sleuth out the juicy details.

That wonderful feel when you finish reading, click the thumbs up button...

And the number increases by more than one point. :coolphoto:

6422259
I ken that feel. My intellectual side tells me each time, People must have upthumbed this while I was reading it, but my somewhat more primal side takes it as, I am a god with countless thumbs.

Gracias for the thumbs-up as well!

:yay:I can finally give it my approval through the sky-pointing thumb.

Very nicely done! I particularly like the contrast between the two half-sisters, and again their contrasts with their future selves.

6422293
Thank you! Skywards thumbs are always a nice thing. :pinkiehappy:

6422302
Glad you approve! They're a distinct pair, the half-sisters, and they're not yet the princesses they'll become ... but there's hopefully enough there to set them on the right paths.

6422330

and they're not yet the princesses they'll become ...

Sure they are, laddy!
They never changed!
They never matured!
They only learned the art of...
reactiongifs.com/r/acting.gif

Interesting read. Good story and I'm always interested in Origin Stories for Tia and Lulu because the "official" canon leaves me severely underwhelmed.

The only real complaint I have is that it ends where it does. I'd be even more interested in the full story of their Ascension.

6422361
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lease.png

6422367
Glad you liked it! :twilightsmile: I've not really delved much into the 'official' canon ... and I tend to take the view that unless it's directly mentioned in the main show itself, then outside material should be taken as an optional suggestion.

This was always intended to be a one-off, in and of itself, though I've kicked around a couple of other story ideas focusing on the early lives of Celestia and Luna. One would be their actual first meeting and how they fell into fellowship. It wouldn't be the cheeriest of romps, but it'd be something I'd like to get round to one day.

all l thought during the entirety of the story

6422513
One of my favourite numbers from the whole piece. :pinkiehappy:

6422534 one of mine also :twilightsmile:

One day I'll be able to write like this: to be able to pack so much meaning into such relatively few words.

The thing I found the most disturbing yet plausible was that there'd be collaborators during Discord's reign. There have always been such in any major conflict, but it was still a shock to see them portrayed in this world. What made it even more tragic is the "grey" ponies' admiration for Discord. They knew it was one sided; he didn't even care what they did, or notice, it seemed. Yet they still betrayed their own.

I especially love this portrayal of Celestia and Luna. We all know how this turns out, and that they will both ascend before they face Discord, but it's great to see Celestia as a hero, even before she's earned her horn and wings, apparently. The thought of her starting out as an earth pony is quite intriguing, and an aspect I never considered.

This certainly deserves a sequel, as I'd love to see your version of the rest of their journey. Maybe even run into Meadowbrook again.

Wait, "Complete"? What? No! You can't do this to me! I thought I'd found the first chapter of the next Truly Great Pony Epic.

Well, in any case, looking forward to more of your superlative work.

I liked the desperate, hardscrabble atmosphere and Meadowbrook's weariness, contrasting with Celestia and Luna's naive but powerful drive for heroism. It's a very interesting background for them, too: half-sisters, one an Earth pony farmer, another a scrappy pegasus noblemare.

Oooooo. Interesting.

A relatively short, but good read. While this could definitely be continued, it's still a nice one-shot :twilightsmile:

6422776
Thank you! :twilightsmile: I'm glad to hear you'd like to see more of it - there's a few comments to that effect - and I might be persuaded to, once I've dealt with several other ongoing projects.

Glad the collaborators struck an appropriately chilling note. And I'm glad you liked the pre-princess forms of Celestia and Luna. It's always been curious to me that more writers don't run with 'Celestia was an earth pony' in their stories The only other one I know off the top of my head is SlyWit's Paradise. I'd have thought ascension from the seemingly-humblest origins would be something more writers would pick up on and play with.

6422840
Alas, no Next Great Pony Epic inbound any time soon (from this corner, at least). There's a couple of other stories about the two at this time I might get round to in due course, though. Glad you liked it, though!

6422905
Cheers, man! It was an interesting mix of elements to play around with, and I'm glad you and others like the background for the two sisters.

6422987
Nah. Deathly dull. Honestly. No discoveries or bar brawls or anything.

6423218
Glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

6422271 :rainbowlaugh:
Behold the might of Dactylius, and his five thumbed hands! Delight in his joyfully upturned phalanges and tremble in fear at the thought of his downward digits.

Great fic, though I'm sad that we don't get to find out how the rest of their journey goes.:fluttercry:

6424566
Tremble as he consigns a million gladiators to death either way it's turned! Weep with awe at his tool-wielding opposability!

6424725
Glad you liked it ... though never say never. I can't promise returning to them in this era any time soon, but I've got a few story ideas here I wouldn't mind getting round to at one point. :twilightsmile:

6423493
Through The Well Of Pirene also had Celestia start out as an earth pony and Luna as a pegasus. And I've seen it in a couple others, but I too am having trouble calling them to mind.

6424921
Ooh, good on it! That's that one added to my To Read list. Cheers for letting me know.

Heh. You know, I've actually had the theory that Celestia and Luna are half-sisters for a while now.

And, well... I'd say this little tale shows quite well why Celestia become steward of the sun. Ever burning, ever alight with hope. A sunny disposition, if you will.

That was quite good, Carabas. I'm not actually sure what thoughts I might offer other than that at the moment... I'm afraid I'm a little addle-brained, but I did enjoy the look at Celestia and Luna as not only half-sisters, but reversing their usual roles as well, and as an earth pony and pegasus.

Oh, by the way: Which side does their nephew Blueblood descend from? As Canterlot Unicorn royalty, I'd expect him to be a little confused with either Pegasus warrior lords and Earth Pony farmers!

6425669
Glad to have your thoughts, Noble, addled though they may presently be. :twilightsmile: Playing around with the origins of Celestia and Luna and making some of the less-used tropes regarding them seem plausible was a fun exercise.

6425671
Glad it chimes with your own theories (Whee! I'm not alone!) and that you thought it gave a good look at Celestia. As for Blueblood, I'd peg him as closer to Luna's side of the family. Pegasi warrior lords and unicorn aristocracy seem like a likely match, and Luna's probably got a few offscreen relatives in these sorts of marriages.

6425742
Oh, it gave a good look at Luna as well! :pinkiehappy:

And yeah, He actually seems a product of Luna's lineage more than Celestia's to me, too. He does share a certain sense of entitlement and prideful ego... :raritywink:

6425831
There are certain broad-stroke similarities, aren't there. One of these aeons, I really want to write a Blueblood-centred story as well, in all his arrogant glory.

6422367 Since the 'official' canon is simplistic and what little exists of the Sister's pre-Elements backstory is currently confined to one book, and hasn't yet been brought up in the show directly at all....

... well, one can never tell when retcons can occur these days when the right circumstances present themselves.

6425858

vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/0/0a/Prince_Blueblood_angrily_pouts_S01E26.png/revision/latest?cb=20130103043426
Some broad-stroke similarities, yes.:rainbowlaugh:

I'd probably love the stuffing out of such a story. As long as it doesn't turn into a bashfic, that is! If being arrogant was a crime, Rainbow Dash wouldn't set hoof outside a jail. Ever.

Plus, for all his arrogance and cowardice, at least he didn't try to ban a beloved holiday because he thought it insulting.:twistnerd:

6425946
If it's ever brought up in the show directly, then I'll have no option but to weep and sulk amidst the ruins of my headcanon. Past that, I try not to go by external official sources.

6425965
No bashing intended for Blueblood, rest assured, though it would open with him fighting - and badly losing - a duel, which qualifies as a somewhat more literal bashing than meant, I think. He's a character with his own internal thoughts and fears and ambitions and loves; he'll be treated nicely. Or ... well, as nicely as I treat anyone, really.

6426006
And that already sounds incredibly promising! There really is a big difference between letting a character experience (comedic) suffering and letting them suffer out of personal spite.

6426006 And so, it turns out that Celestia and Luna were happy little fillies who leaped and frolicked in the land beyond the wobbles with their father who was and enchanted Prince!

One day, the Prince noticed a spot on his face. Foolishly, he ignored it, and 3 years later he died of cancer.

The spot, however, flourished and went off to seek its fortune.

And... I guess Discord showed up at some point. *best official canon ever*

6426062
Totally agree with you there. Inflicting suffering's a lovely tool, when used for purely comedic purposes. Inflicting suffering just because of personal spite towards a character is rarely seemly.

6426067
Just get all the remaining Pythons to write all the canon. Then nobody shall have any complaints, ever.

6426090 I dunno. Cleese may have gone a turn funny.

He's on Twitter. You know what that can do to a person.

Look what happened to me!

Wow.
Not only adding to my head canon, but this could be a 70,090 word tale.

6426488
Thank you! Always a pleasure to corrupt the head canon of others.

I liked this. Effective delivery of the story you set out to tell. And lots of little clues dropped here and there.

why does no pony value honesty these days?

They still know how to laugh here, at least

Indeed. And not particularly relevant to the telling, but it was there.

The young pegasus fidgeted her wings

No long, drawn out explanation. No clubbing us over the head with it. Just a simple reference that immediately conveys the time period and scenario. I often find myself recommending writers "show, don't tell" their stories. Here, you've shown things, simply and effectively.

6426588
Cheers for picking up on the clues here and there - every element gets a mention at some point over the course of events. Helps account for how The End of the Day's weathered the chaos as well as it has.

Showing rather than telling's an art I'm still picking up, but I'm glad to hear this latest piece has done it well.

6426830
That was excellent.

“Remain ready to wallop anything unfriendly.”

I like the idea that when the two work as a team, the walloping is Luna's responsibility.

Luna flew out in one swift, brutal plunge from the shadows to the right of the group, barging into and knocking over two of them, an earth pony and the unicorn, in the first second of the fight. They fell screaming and the two next to them upped spurs and whirled upon the rising Luna, daring a melee. But Luna, small though she was, was a melee all by herself, and the air was soon filled with the screech of spurs on barding, the crack of hooves meeting joints, anguished yells, and Luna’s furious war cries.

This is everything I could have hoped for. :pinkiesad2:

I also like the way each of the elements are name-dropped...

“That’s … surprisingly generous of you.” ... "They were being impertinent, and that wasn’t our fault, and why does no pony value honesty these days?" ... "You’re still making things to protect ponies against him, acting for kindness’s sake." ... “They still know how to laugh here, at least,” ... "But loyalty to doomed causes got its hooks in me, I’m afraid."

This nearly sounded as though Meadowbrook (Kindness), Tallow (Generosity) and the fiddler (Laughter) would join up and eventually become bearers along with Celestia (Loyalty) and Luna (Honesty). In which case I guess Starswirl would have been Magic?

6427229 It was mentioned in "Magical Mystery Cure" that Starswirl didn't understand the importance of friendship, meaning he'd be a very poor bearer of Magic. Besides, in the next episode, we got a flashback that showed the sisters bore the Elements by themselves, with Celestia holding Kindness, Generosity, and Magic and Luna bearing Laughter, Honesty, and Loyalty.

6427229
Glad Luna delights! And excellent catches for most of the elements. Magic was intended to come into play for the tavern itself, shielded under magical enchantments, where all the other elements come together to keep chaos at bay.

6427395
Yep, Starswirl's not intended to represent any element himself - he's turned his back on the company and fellowship of others long ago. He'll still stumble across most of the process for alicornification, though.

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