• Member Since 17th Mar, 2013
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Carabas



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Commander Hurricane sought only the best and hardiest of pegasi for her warflock.

She failed. Instead, Private Pansy found her.

Cover art from the tumblr of mariponihoney. Proofread by themaskedferret. Written for the Military March prompt for the Time Action Glory Challenge! group.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 46 )

Not for Glory, nor for Honor, but for life and liberty should one sever. Oddly I agree with Hurricane here. Martial Skill can be taught for the most part, but Courage and commitment are something of a more rarefied sort and such are very valuable. In actuality Logistics and can be more important the fighting so having someone who is good at that, who knows how to survive at the fringes, could be valuable as well.

A nice little short. For a yearling who was paid in sliver but was worth gold.

Georg #2 · March 25th · · ·

Unintentionally, Hurricane made an excellent choice for 'other' tribe liaison. They're all used to arrogant tufts of feathers and steel to come striding into the discussion, so a few "Excuse me?" and "Beg pardons?" will throw the other tribe's off their comfortable zones. For some tasks you need an iron hoof, for others you need a feather.

Fascinating story about the pegasi before their unification under one tribe and the founding of Equestria. Love that you explored Hurricane's and Pansy's personalities in this story. Are warflocks groups of soldiers that protect pony lands from raiders even if they are unicorn or earth pony? Or do they just serve the pegasi tribes? Are they part of the pegasi tribes or are they their own group? Anyway, a nice read. Would love to read more about the pegasi and hopefully finally see their powers in action.

8048944
Glad you liked it! :twilightsmile: Pansy's definitely got the mental qualities ready to be hammered out into warflock-ready shape - the physical capacity and proficiency to wield stabby things can come later.

8048993
Always an asset, not (intentionally) mixing one's diplomatic overtures with bodily threats. Pansy might just be the pegasus to deliver there.

8049037
Glad you liked this piece as well! :pinkiehappy: The warflock's the main body of pegasi soldiers at the permanent beck and call of the Commander - and at this stage in history, they purely serve the interests of the pegasi. Maybe a certain new private'll change that. :raritywink:

Look at you, thought Hurricane to herself as she regarded Pansy. Featherweight even in barding, if I’m any judge. Shy of the sight of blood, you said. Barely a pegasus at all, if you asked the traditionalists. But if I could take that impulse of yours and give it to a hundred more callous pegasi… if I could give it to me…

Look at you. Plenty of pegasi reckoning you won’t amount to much. Plenty of pegasi expecting nothing but a cack-up atop past cack-ups as the winters grow ever-crueller.

Lots of expectations going about these days. Let’s prove them all wrong.

YEAH! :yay: :rainbowdetermined2:

...

And she’d probably get nothing but a short life of toil and hardship and petty humiliation, followed up by a painful death, followed in turn by nopony remembering her name. Only what she did. Only the knowledge that whoever she’d saved, in one way, would be saved thanks to her. Is that an enticing proposition?”

Oh, the irony! She's remembered so much! :rainbowkiss:

8049137
History's been vastly kinder to the pair of them than either could have really expected. :pinkiehappy:

several corvid clans

Palaververse confirmed.

Pansy looked even more wretched, which took some doing. “...I could learn to fight.”

It's okay, Fluttershy Pansy. You can be brave enough!

“Chief said—” Pansy swallowed. “Chief said the tribe couldn’t afford useless mouths. So he ordered me out. Said I could fend for myself or… or leech off some other daft tribe, if they had any reason to want a pegasus who was shy of the sight of blood.”

...
Well, survival of the fittest, right?
Right?

mud-botherers

I don't know how I feel about this racial insult. On one hand, it accurately describes what Earth ponies do, move soil around to grow crops. On another hand, it really doesn't do the "insulting" part very well, at least for me. I mean,
"You mud-botherer!"
"Gasp! I disturb mud! How insulting!"
Maybe I am taking it too literally.

Well, that was another glimpse into before Equestria had its alicorns, and I approve of the way this was done. Nice backstory for Pansy, and with her as Hurricane's aide, the world is now safe from the Windigos! Hooray!

8049623
Glad you liked this one! Pre-alicorn Equestria's a fun setting to dip into.

And thus I have my explanation for how a pre-Equestrian pegasus could possibly resemble Fluttershy in demeanor. A combination of inborn gentleness antithetical to the pegasine ideal, tribal hardship, and life in the wild with little recent social interaction adds up to something approximating Yellowquiet. Makes sense to me.

A wonderful piece on the meeting of two of Equestria's founders, not that either knows it yet. Thank you for it. I'm glad my nitpicking provided something constructive. :twilightsmile:

Oh, this is sweet. Or rather, poor little Pansy is sweet, and Cdr Hurricane is a surprisingly wise older warhorse. Excellent little reminders of just how grim pre-unification Equestria must have been - the casual racism, the encroaching Windigos, the uncaring abandonment of children unable to pull their weight. Brrr. Nasty.

Excellent short, a nice companion piece to the Princess Platinum vs. The Dragon story.

8049730
Your nitpicks are excellent nitpicks. :twilightsmile: Glad you liked it!

8049788
Happy you like this piece as well. No doubt at all about the grimness of life for pre-Equestrian ponies ... but there's still the odd bright glimmer here and there.

The rest, as the bards say, was history. Important history, in fact - The sort of history still remembered in festival and song millennia later.

8049902
Definitely one of those small-pebble-kicking-off-an-avalanche affairs.

Call yourself the best of your tribe? What even is your tribe? Where are you from?

Obviously, She's a moon yellow pegasus of the threstal bat pony tribe. The most hideous one of their flock.

Whenever another bat pony, or chicken, looks at her this is what they see...

of course every other pegasus tribe sees...

Not unheard of to bring in the young to teach them the ways of war.

8050380
Nothing like a little dichotomy in appearances. :pinkiehappy: Jings, it's been a fair while since I've seen that particular Looney Tunes episode.

8050421
Not unheard of at all, alas. It's happily not something that happens in modern-day Equestria ... but in these dark old times, it's bound to happen.

But if I could take that impulse of yours and give it to a hundred more callous pegasi… if I could give it to me…

And isn't that interesting? Sounds like Hurricane wishes that she herself was nicer.

Bet she wished it even harder after the Windigo thing. :yay:

Awwww. This this fic was oddly endearing. Well written and great at setting the mood as well. Just lovely. :yay:

What a cute little flower. I hope she likes digging latrines for Platinum's castle :rainbowkiss:

A solid vignette, mhm.

But I can never really cotton onto the idea of pre-Equestrian conscription.
Just seems like making trouble for yourself, giving weapons to the resentful and all that.

8050892
If there's anything to inspire a shift towards niceness, it'd be a run-in with hate-eating demons of primal winter. Association with Pansy might get her a little heads-start, though.

8051092
Thank you! Glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

8051239
It's an honourable occupation, that. Those latrines shan't dig themselves.

8051330
Conscription in general's probably a pretty awkward sod for reasons like that. There's something dodgy about handing out weapons to folk who'd really prefer you weren't giving them weapons.

A pair of ancient equine stories, and both intriguing and touching. You have my permission to do more of this.

8051608
Nothing confuses a pony quite like taking them away from all they love and then immediately giving them a weapon.
After all, their chief weapon is surprise.

8049623 I'm fairly certain that mud-botherers isn't necessarily pertaining only to Earth Ponies, but unicorns too. Correct me if I'm wrong, Carabas , but I believe that it means "those who bother with mud," thus referring to the flightless, and therefore inferior.

So, as the first story I've read in over a year, I have to say that was pretty good. I almost thought the founders had been forgotten on this site, despite so many wonderful storytelling avenues like this that are available to them.

The narrative flowed pretty well, especially the banter between Hurricane and her serjant (sergeant?), but I particularly liked how Hurricane was willing to listen and empathize with Pansy. Almost reminded me of Steve Rogers and the doctor in the first Captian America movie where he said perhaps what they needed was the little guy to fight.

If you do plan on continuing the tales of Commander Hurricane and Private Pansy, do let me know.

Also, thank you for the fun and smile worthy story.

What an interesting little history.

All in all, quite enjoyable. Thank you Carabas!
:twilightsmile:


I can just see Hurricane, Westerly, and Pansy having an extended conversation like William Wallace, Hamish, and Steven in Braveheart:

"Her? That can't be Commander Hurricane. My mane is prettier than hers. Alright Mother, I'll ask her. If I risk my neck for you, will I get a chance to kill griffins?"

"Is your mother a ghost or do you converse with Céleste?"

"In order to find her equal, a Cloudsdane is forced to talk to Céleste. Yes, Mother. The Almighty says don't change the subject; just answer the bucking question."

"Mind your tongue!"

"Insane Cloudsdane."

"Smart enough to get a dagger past your guards, old nag!"

"That's my friend, Cloudsdane. And the answer to your question is yes; if you fight for me you get to kill the griffins."

"Excellent! Private Pansy is my name. I'm the most wanted mare on my cloud-state, except I'm not on my cloud-state, of course. Mores the pity."

"Your cloud-state? You mean Cloudsdale."

"Yeah. It's mine."

"You're a madmare!"

"I've come to the right place, then."
:yay:

8051798

After all, their chief weapon is surprise.

Nogriffin expects the pony conscripts! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to Céleste.... Our four...no.... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....

I'll come in again.

Nogriffin expects the pony conscripts! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to Céleste, and stylish plumes—oh buck!

Lovely bit of pre-history going here. I'll second FOME's comment, in that your history for Pansy makes perfect sense given for her character, given what we know and what you've put out for Pegasus culture.
8049623
Coming from a tribe that never actually has to touch dirt unless they really want to I can see it being a pretty damning insult.

8049623
It's a lot like cotton-picker. Sounds harmless, because what's so bad about picking cotton? However, used in the correct context, is a racial slur for African Americans; due to the fact that it refers to their great relatives having to pick cotton as slaves. Mud-brother isn't as harsh and really only makes fun of the fact that they have to use dirt as a livelihood, but you get the point.

Really nice piece. gives some credence to what mostly seemed like a comic relief aspect of the Hearth warming episode. (scared little private Pantsy)

Part of me wants to see this continued (possibly as a romance, but that's just me being shameless shipper), but I can see why this should also remain a one-shot as well. There is a sense of completeness to the story.

especially when the mud-botherers were being as recalcitrant with their dwindling crops as they were.

"Now that they have so little to eat, they're annoyingly reluctant to feed everyone else too, the jerks."

No wonder the Windigos almost got those clowns.

8054158 I used to be familiar with so many racial slurs... dozens of them. We used to have a list of them in one of the men's rooms at college, carved into a stall wall. It was there for my entire degree; 8 years total.

Nobody got offended because we weren't whiny douche bags back then who needed to hide in safe spaces and have cocoa and pet puppies.

Oh well, it has made the country far easier to conquer. I suppose I'll find that useful. :pinkiecrazy:

Tenth #32 · March 31st · · 1 ·

8062609
Ugh, safe spaces. Absolutely hate the existence of those. They might as well be called 'Escape Reality' Zone.

8063149 Most of the standup comedy in the 60's and 70's would get people stoned to death by the PC crowd today.

Mel Brooks, Jerry Seinfeld, and even Bill Maher are all in agreement that the political correctness has become insane and destructive to creativity as well as basic liberty.

8051649
Permission very happily received! :twilightsmile:

8052274
In this case, it's earth-pony specific. Unicorns can sometimes fall foul to it, but pegasi generally have another range of tribal slurs for them.

8052937
Glad it was your first story after a year, and delighted it didn't disappoint! :twilightsmile: It's nice to be able to give the founders some attention ... the group this was written for should have a few more devoted to them in its folders, purely to get them some attention.

8053263
You're quite welcome, and I'm glad you liked it! Braveheart and Monty Python-inspired riffs are always a nice thing to find in a comments section.

8053907
The pre-history - as well as Pansy's background - were fun things to delve into. You're spot-on about the pegasi's own lack of interaction with dirt being a major part of the insult. A good way to start fights would be to whip it out against a fellow pegasus.

8054158
Spot on. Out of context, it sounds a little daft. In-context, it's an invitation for some manner of reprimand, verbal or physical or otherwise.

8054537
Glad you liked it, and that it fleshed out Pansy a little. :pinkiehappy: No plans to continue on with this at present ... but it might interest you to know that when I was originally hashing out some sort of Hurricane/Pansy piece, a romance was considered.

8055311
Blinkers are a wonderful thing to have on; they mean you don't have to see any of the nasty danger heading your way.

8062609
Imagine whoever had the role of keeping that list up to date as more slurs were invented.

"Er, lads, I heard this new epithet this morning, but ... I'm really not sure whether it's genuine or someone was just making shit up. Any of you got any ideas?"

"Just walk up to a member of whatever group it refers to and repeat it, mate. If you wake up a few minutes later in great pain, it's probably good to go on the list."

8066225

"Er, lads, I heard this new epithet this morning, but ... I'm really not sure whether it's genuine or someone was just making shit up. Any of you got any ideas?"

"Just walk up to a member of whatever group it refers to and repeat it, mate. If you wake up a few minutes later in great pain, it's probably good to go on the list."

Calvin and Hobbes comes to mind here...

"Today for Show and Tell, I've brought in some flash cards I made. Each card has a letter followed by several dashes. When I show the card, you yell the vulgar, obscene or blasphemous word they stand for!...Ready?"

8066225 Them's was good times, I tell ya! :trollestia:

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #108.

My review can be found here.

8069514
Much obliged, and delighted you liked it! :twilightsmile:

8050892

And isn't that interesting? Sounds like Hurricane wishes that she herself was nicer.

Or perhaps it means she wished more ponies, including herself, had Pansy's' courage, determination and sense of honor.

“I’ll do anything,” Pansy said desperately. “I’ll learn to kick and loose shot and storm-craft from dawn till dusk, and I’ll spend dusk till dawn doing everything else that can help. I’ll … I’ll dig every latrine, and cook every meal, and fletch every arrow, and… and anything! So long as I can help other ponies. The way you helped me. The way you helped my tribe. And if I’m no help at all, just leave me behind. I know how to cope with that. So long as I know I’ve tried my best for others.

8071974
They're the virtues Hurricane's got her eye on, yep. The niceness'll likely seep in later by sheer osmosis. :rainbowwild:

Comment posted by RoastPelican deleted April 4th

8072198 Really? The way she thought about callous pegasi specifically made me think she had to have the niceness in mind at least a little.

Oh well.

8072451
Oh, she definitely had it in mind. To an extent, she's contrasting it with what drove her and other callous pegasi to arms - ambition and martial glory. Pansy's got the same qualities of courage and determination as a lot of them and Hurricane, which Hurricane respects ... but the different place it's coming from intrigues her as well to an extent.

It's entirely possible I'm mucking up and forgetting what I was trying to say with that sentence, though. Glaikitness isn't an enviable condition, I wouldn't recommend it.

Best version of Hurricane.

8128537
Glad you think so! :twilightsmile:

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