Read It Now Reviews #108 – Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity; The Commander’s Shilling; Innoculation; The Timestone; The Worst of Mentions · 11:35pm Apr 2nd, 2017
I barely read any non-writeoff stories last week, then in a single evening, read ten of them.
Let’s get cracking.
Today’s stories:
Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity by Estee
The Commander’s Shilling by Carabas
Innoculation by Tumbleweed
The Timestone by Bachiavellian
The Worst of Mentions by BlazzingInferno
Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity
by Estee
Slice of Life
19,937 wordsIn many ways, Rarity is still trying to settle back into Ponyville life. Her first moons after dropping out of boarding school have been hectic: preparing for that now-passed first trade show, opening the Boutique. She's been completely out of the gossip circuit and doesn't know what she missed for events, scandal -- and new arrivals. She and Pinkie have spent years with neither knowing the other existed.
As if that was going to last.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Hey, look, an Estee story about Rarity and Pinkie Pie meeting!
Oh wait, no, it’s actually a story about Rarity being crushingly lonely. LOVE YOU ESTEE. 
A sequel to Tricks of the Trade Show (though reading that story isn’t really necessary to understand this one), this is set a week or two after Rarity opened up her Boutique. Rarity has realized that her store is just barely scraping by, and that after being gone for five years in secondary school and returning to Ponyville, she doesn’t really know anyone. She has no friends, no one she can hang out with… all she has is her store, a lonely place which doesn’t even have proper furnishings in her living areas yet because she doesn’t have the money for them. When she’s done keeping her store open for the day trying to sell dresses, she gets to go back upstairs to try and make more dresses to sell, or wander out into the wildnerness to dig up gemstones.
And when she doesn’t have those things to do, she can just wander around the near-empty streets at night, looking for someone to talk to, but feeling afraid to approach any of her old friends (if they could even still be called such).
The biggest chance she gets is Pinkie Pie showing up; the young pony is still trying to fit into the community, but is developing into the energetic creature we all know. She’s a lot sadder than her show counterpart, but she still is trying to bring joy into people’s lives via the power of parties. And by the end of it, Pinkie Pie has thrown a party and Rarity has set off on the first steps of friendship with Pinkie Pie and being less lonely.
A little.
This story lacked a really strong hook. While Rarity meeting Pinkie Pie for the first time is a thing, and the first scene does something to hook Rarity into learning about Pinkie Pie, frankly it doesn’t do nearly as much to hook the reader in – after all, we all already know who Pinkie Pie is, what she does, and that she’s going to throw a Welcome to Ponyville party for Rarity. After the first scene, Pinkie Pie doesn’t show up again for almost two chapters, which are instead consumed with Rarity fretting over her shop and over being lonely.
And unfortunately, this part dragged pretty badly. The story feels kind of repetitive – the overall message is “Rarity is getting by, barely” and it basically alternates between Rarity being lonely and Rarity feeling like she’s only barely getting by and it isn’t going to get better. And while this sort of thing can help to reinforce a feeling of gray monotony, and there’s some nice writing in here (comparing her situation to a carousel, as well as a few punchy sentences), there’s just too much of the same thing spread throughout the first 3/4ths of the work. The pacing is slow and it sort of sapped my attention.
At the end, it all comes back together, as Rarity both makes connections and loses her temper, and we see a very sad Pinkie Pie. But the payoff didn’t feel like it justified the journey to get there.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
The Commander’s Shilling
by Carabas
Slice of Life, Historical Fiction
3,525 wordsCommander Hurricane sought only the best and hardiest of pegasi for her warflock.
She failed. Instead, Private Pansy found her.
Why I added it: Carabas is a good writer.
Review
Commander Hurricane is the new-fledged commander of the warflock of the pegasi, the protectosr of the pegasus people. They lost their old commander and about half their strength, so Hurricane is desperate to recruit more ponies.
She’s set up her station and is waiting to give out the silver shillings to those pegasi who will join.
There’s just one problem – no one is showing up.
This is the story of how a pony like Private Pansy ended up as the personal aid to Commander Hurricane. Here, we see Hurricane as a more rounded pony, not only elements of her personality from the play, but also the elements necessary for her to act as a protector of the pegasi. And we also see Private Pansy herself, a shy, young pony – too young to join – who still holds the strength and determination to want to contribute to helping out the warflock, even when other pegasi have abandoned her at times.
This is a nice piece of historical pony fiction, and while it is small and self-contained, it says a bit about what Commander Hurricane and Private Pansy were like, and how they came together – as well as a hint about why Private Pansy ended up being so vital to the founding of Equestria, as we come to see her personal views, and how Commander Hurricane made use of her.
If you’re into stories about the founders of Equestria, this is likely to be up your alley.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Inoculation
by Tumbleweed
Comedy, Random
10,689 words"Every normal pony must be tempted, at times, to spit on her hooves, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
Over brunch, Twilight Sparkle lines out her plans to turn to a life of villainy. For the most part, her friends are all for it.
It makes sense in context, honest.
Why I added it: Tumbleweed is a good writer.
Review
Twilight, being the logically-minded creature that she is, knows that today, she’s not that powerful. But tomorrow, she might be much more powerful. And where will the world be then? Likely cowering at her hooves when she uses her massive intellect and magical powers to rend the world asunder.
So, clearly, the solution is to go a little bit evil now, as a sort of inoculation against evil. It worked for Luna and Discord, right?
There’s just one problem – Twilight and her friends have Chronic Hero Syndrome, and are really, really bad at being evil.
Needless to say, hilarity ensues.
This is a fun and consistently silly story, told in typical Tumbleweed fashion. The characters are all mildly comically exaggerated in fun ways, the various problems they try to create and accidentally solve are all amusingly mundane, their evil plots are too well thought out or not well thought-out enough (often at the same time), Rarity is entirely too enthusiastic about being a vamp, and Applejack, naturally, is having none of this nonsense so gets to be the hero. By default. Even if she actually just wants to stay out on the farm and not deal with it.
This story made me smile, and I suspect that, if the silly premise sounds fun to you, it will make you do so, too.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
The Timestone
by Bachiavellian
Adventure, Drama
6,255 wordsStar Swirl has found a way to keep touch with the Princesses even as the centuries go by. Its only cost was his life.
Why I added it: Bachiavellian is a good writer.
Review
Star Swirl the Bearded created a timestone which allows access to a pocket dimension of dreamstuff, where he has ensconced himself for the rest of eternity. The stone will only work five times, but from his place in between the worlds, he will be able to advise Celestia and Luna at least a few more times – longer than would ever be possible as a mortal pony.
This story is about five visits, each spaced out further in time than the last.
I liked the idea of this story, but by the end, I was left feeling like it didn’t really have much of an arc to it – it feels like more of a series of events. While we see various glimpses, it doesn’t feel like it has the same impact as it would if we saw more of an arc to the visits – instead, we more or less see glimpses of things we knew were going to happen, and Luna’s banishment – which gave the most opportunity for development, really – is the fourth one, without a proper follow-up, which, given the format, makes some degree of sense but still is kind of annoying because it doesn’t let us interface with him properly as a person.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
The Worst of Mentions
by BlazzingInferno
Comedy, Romance
5,689 wordsYesterday, a book on massage nearly destroyed Ponyville. Today, a rumor just might destroy Rarity, or lead to her destroying Ponyille. Spike is there to help, of course, or at least try to. All he really wanted to do was ask her out.
Why I added it: It is the sequel to The Best of Tensions, and BlazzingInferno is a good writer.
Review
After the previous story, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect out of this story – more ship teasing, perhaps?
Alas, this one struck out straight into Sparity territory – and I have to say, it sort of struck out with me as well.
As a non-Sparity shipper, this story didn’t really feel like it had a whole lot of lead-in to the ship. The story starts out with Rarity wanting Spike to ask her out (despite the fact that at the end of the previous story, she suggested that even if she was going to go out with Spike, it would be another year or two), and then the humor starts getting… weird for me, as passing-by characters talk about how attractive Spike is while talking about how unattractive Rarity is.
While characters casually insulting Rarity outside of her hearing is potentially amusing, here it felt a lot like negging. Simultaneously, having adults talk up the attractiveness of a character who is, frankly, a young teenager at best, was pretty uncomfortable. And the result is Rarity being weirdly self-depreciating while talking up how attractive Spike is by comparison.
And this felt… not only out of character for Rarity, who has an enormous ego and a lot of self-esteem, but also kind of creepy. Making it out as if one character is doing a character with low self-esteem a favor by asking them out on a date is a standard romance trope, but it is also very wish fulfillment-y, as you get the whole knight-in-shining-armor complex going on there. But when you take a character like Rarity, who not only is attractive but who knows she’s attractive, and then put her in that situation as the supposedly unattractive character with no self-esteem, that’s just weird.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Summary
Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity by Estee
Not Recommended
The Commander’s Shilling by Carabas
Worth Reading
Innoculation by Tumbleweed
Worth Reading
The Timestone by Bachiavellian
Not Recommended
The Worst of Mentions by BlazzingInferno
Not Recommended
And there we go!
As I’m writing this, it is early in the morning of April 1st, but it will likely be a few days before you see this. Hopefully, I will have gotten some serious writing done by then.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 189
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 603
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 2093
Feeling's not mutual!
I misread your Inoculation rating and was about to tear you a new one. Thanks for the ratings.
4481552
4481555
The founders seem like quite the springboard for stories, given how undefined they are. I like seeing interesting takes on them, and this was a neat one.
4481553
Innoculation was fun! I do have to admit some confusion at the Dark tag on that story, though.
Ah yes, my favorite kind of fanfic to read - genre!
4481560
Fixed~ It is slice of life. And historical. Huzzah~
4481562 AKA, just 'Genre'.
4481563
Well, at least it isn't literary fiction. Ugh~
You keep saying Estee's a good writer, yet you never seem to recommend his/her stuff. I don't get it.
4481564 Two words:
My. Immortal.
Now that's worse!
Thanks for the review; I always appreciate your thoughts! I've been in a bit of a writing funk recently, so when FoME's contest swung around I just told myself to write something. I'm very glad that I did, and I had a bunch of fun, but Timestone is definitely one of my more half-baked creations. Oh well--onwards and upwards, I hope!
4481569
I gave Three Hundred and Sixty Degrees of Saturation a worth reading literally yesterday.
I think the reason it seems weird is because Estee is a very prolific author. I've reviewed more Estee stories than stories written by any other writer (50!). 19 of those are not recommendeds; that means the other 31 are at least Worth Reading or above, including 6 Recommendeds and 2 Highly Recommendeds.
As overall, my average is to not recommend slightly over half of the stories I read, Estee hits well above par (62% worth reading or above for Estee, compared to about 37% of all stories I read). But because Estee produces lots of stories, even hitting well above average still means a lot of misses.
4481572
I know the feeling of a writing funk.
But I'm glad you got something written! That can be just the ticket out.
I hope to see more of your writing in the future; I know you've got lots of good stuff in you.
Incidentally:
TD hates everything, Steam Edition!
The last 25 consecutive games I wrote Steam Reviews for got red thumbs.
I really need to finish playing the games that I actually like.
I have played games I've liked in that interim, but I didn't ultimately end up finishing any of them, so I haven't written reviews... 
4481552
4481575
Definitely be sure to read this response, Estee.
Glad you liked Shilling!
Not so much rampant mangonelling in this one, though I did manage to get away with 'serjant' and 'banneret'. 
And another case I don't quite see the recommendation. Timestone this time. Yeah it could have been a bit tighter, and more punch to it. But it was a solid idea and well executed for the most part. My biggest issue was mostly the final visit and how it really felt like it should have had greater emotional impact then it did, more to it then as simple as it was. For as short and quick as it is thou, still overall good. Definitely ways it could be better, but still worth the look.