• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)


Rarity tends to embrace innovation: after all, a pony who wishes to stay on trend must move with the times. And she loves anything which gets rid of dirt. So when she sees a new kind of shower at an expo, she becomes the budding company's first customer. Because what could be more important than cleanliness?

The common sense required not to be a new product's tester. That's much more important.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.)

Now with author Patreon page.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 98 )

You should have found a way to make it five words shorter.

Seriously, was just about to say that. Though it can still be fixed!
(Though, of course, there's still the issue of Fimfic's... unique word count method.)

Estee #3 · Apr 1st, 2017 · · ·


I spend all day cooking and the only thing he cares about is the portion.

*glances at ratings bar*

Once again, the most impressive thing about that opening downvote is how the person who placed it managed to read the entire thing in less than ten minutes.


8064726 We both know that people downvote for the silliest of reasons. Maybe it was because you used an image from the show as cover art? I'm certain that there are better pieces of art you could use, stuff that would attract a lot more attention to the story. I mean, you DID just publish 11k words, after all.

Sponsored Zonewide by Herbal Burble Shampoo:
Clean inside and out!


It's nearly an event when I use cover art at all. Maybe it's a I Would Have Liked It Better Plain downvote. (I'll add it to the list.)

So not only does no one appreciate the cooking, but now they're sending back the garnish.

8064753 If we're talking about it like that, it's like you cooked an excellent meal, something that Chef Ramsey would be proud of, then used month-old grass trimmings from your weed-infested backyard as garnish.

8064758 Lol true. BTW, that watermark absolutely destroys any enjoyment that that pic may have held.

Dang it Rarity, sometimes you have to give up!

8064753 Hm... I see that you don't really use cover arts that much. Why is that? When you spend a lot of time and effort writing something, naturally you'd like it if a lot of people read it, right? And to attain that goal, you have to present the story as best you can to get a reader's attention. The title and cover art play the most important role in attracting attention, so why shoot yourself in the foot by not using cover art?

This was so funny but the ending really sold it. Too many missions have given Rarity a little brain damage on repeat risk management.
I loved the quick mission they had to run through in the middle and wonder if we'll ever get any elaboration on it.

:rainbowlaugh: great description of writing

Precisely how many corrupt businessmen are there in Ponyville? XD That being said, another winner, Estee. :D


1. I've never formally commissioned an artist. A friend drew something for me once. That was it.
2. There's frequently a fairly short window between idea and posting. Even if I did want to commission something, it would potentially postpone a story by several weeks.
3. When I do look for public art, it's often hard to find something truly appropriate. I spent some time today searching for an image of a human 360° shower (unoccupied) and didn't get anything I liked. So I fell back on the old show image.
4. MyMarketingSvcks.com

Oh, stereotyping can just work wonders when done right. And it just ended up so satisfying.


There's one less now...

However, let's be fair: most of the corruption we've seen is in the capital. Ponyville is more for insane businessponies. (Right, Davenport?) And of course, Mr. Rich pulls the local average on ethical standards up simply by existing.

8064836 XD

True, true.

Well, as I said, you've got another great one on your hands, Estee. I look forward to your next work. :D

Yo I could retroactively draw some covers for old stories if you're interested, free. We could pm details

You know, there's just something oddly poetic about using a water cannon to assemble an unruly mob. Shame about the torches, though.

this story reminded me of a gag in a Discworld novel (i forget which one), where Ridcully, the head wizard, discovered an old shower designed by "bloody stupid Johnson" and tried it out. it worked quite well...until he turned on the "musical pipes" and the "organ interlock", which apparently connected it to a pipe organ...
the book didn't say what happened next, but it was bad enough for Ridcully to order the doorway nailed shut.

The more stories that pour out about Ponyville like this, the more I think it wasn't the Mane 6 that cause the crazy. It's saturated the ground and just makes itself known when you step in the wrong spot.

No wonder Discord loves the place.

Well, I've never seen anyone have two stories on the Featured List before. Well done! :twistnerd:

I shall earmark a time to read some of your work later, as a lot of it seems to be quite long. Wish I had the patience to whip up 21k+ words in one week.. sigh :pinkiesad2:

8064869 i was thinking the same thing. It was the book Hogfather

Even though most ponies are naked all the time, you still managed to find a way for both a "sex sells" and "plumbers crack" joke. Genius.

I bet the inventors of the shower received some rather interesting mail. Version 2 should be much improved. And townships all across the land will be forced to upgrade their water services...

Oh, Estee, you've done it again!

Now THIS is how you write a comedy. That was really well done, and I feel like you did the characters justice.

Very good job!

I saw that picture on the Internet labeled
(spell checker claims not to know that word. Yeah, right :trollestia:)

This is a return to your more light hearted early style. :pinkiehappy: YEAH!

And so when they'd learned that the Innovation Exposition was coming to Ponyville for the first time ever, each had thought to purchase a gift ticket for the other, and then spent a mutual giggling hour in trying to sell off their extra ducats.

Aww! :rainbowkiss:

And then both unicorns, who had a number of things in common, silently and mutually thought of the other reason they'd both wanted to attend InEx.

"We still haven't seen the brothers," Twilight said.

They mutually broke into a gallop.

Wow. They don't appear! I'm amazed!

"I think," Twilight determined with what, on any other day, would have been immediately recognized by Rarity as surprising insight,

Character Development! :pinkiehappy:

"somepony discovered that certain stallions and mares like watching a pretty pony wash herself in public."

SexSells sorta... It's not why Rarity's buying it... ... But still, DistractedByTheSexy and other tropes?

And here I thought the Rarity might call on Ratchette, and her apprehension was due to Ratchette being super-dirty, usually, but no. ... Plumber's Crack trope!

... Pipe Fitter has kids... And a wife? Or a series of wives?? Wondering who they are...


NoodleIncident Mission... 8 limbed creature...

That's some luck, with that water cannon... Unless it wasn't actually luck, and she's just saying it is...

... So, are Rarity's loans getting paid off? I hope so... Wonder when it'll happen...


What's Ponyville gonna do without a plumber? ... I guess a Canterlot one is gonna move in... ... Or is Aqueduct their new plumber?

... How many times will / does InEx go to Ponyville??

Congrats for the double box :moustache:


Nah, they probably downvoted it after they realized that you included a pretty mare showering in public in it.

For shame!

Why would they need to read any more of this smut after that?

I think, deep down, all of us have succumbed to some fantasy like this. It's a flaw in the human character.


This is one of those rare fics that would work as an episode of the show.

So, how badly beaten was Pipe Fitter when the mob caught up to him?

Rarity, who was behind him, wrenched her gaze towards the ceiling.

Ba dum tish! :pinkiehappy:

8064716 You mean how the word count for the chapter is 12 more than the total?

8064958 Well, you know. Hide, reveal, hide, reveal... even when the reveal decidedly does not entice.

8065018 That might also have been interesting. On the one hoof, Ratchette, but on the other, her mark is for devices and conveniences and engineering in general, not specifically plumbing. (In addition to Rarity possibly insisting she use up a case of Foal-Castille before entering her shop, yes.)

Wow. You have been on fire, lately, Estee.

(Now what's wrong with Mr. Davenport? Nothing wrong with a quills and sofa store, any more than a picked eggs and motorbike store or a contraceptives and spatulas emporium).

Well this doesn't make me feel much better about getting a new shower fitted next week.

So what's the deal with FiMFic's weird weird count method? How is it different than say, Microsoft Word?


I just want to know how the word count algorithm works ;_;

8065385 I totally forgot that happened. Thank you.

Well, I was wrong about the no-cumuppance part! Huzzah!

Alo, the image of Bon Bon dragging a petulant, pouting Lyra aay by the tail was just... Perfect.

Somebody needs to draw that.


The getting clean part of the retribution against plumbers part...?

InEx was generally held outdoors, all the better for allowing the smoke to clear.

And let's not forget the wisdom of not confining the things likley to explode...

Some Assembly Required.

I started reading this story thinking of the Unseen University shower in Hogfather (as did others, it seems), but for all the trouble it caused that one came fully built. Your story was more about the building.

And it was hilarious. All Pipe Fitter really needed for the picture to be complete was an actual pipe (the smoking variety), which he would gesture with while describing the work to be done.

...each had thought to purchase a gift ticket for the other, and then spent a mutual giggling hour in trying to sell off their extra ducats.

Uh... Is that last word supposed to be "tickets"? Because otherwise, I have no idea which country in this setting uses that particular currency.
EDIT: One Googling later, I've learned a new slang term.

...it would feel like additional kicks, and I suffered enough of those from an entity with eight limbs.

Hmm. Squirk or Sleipnir? Or both rolled into one. Or neither, but what fun is that?

It became known as the Big Dig.

Oh dear. I don't even live in the Boston area and I can see that for the warning sign that it is.

In any case, a hilarious tale of the dangers of early adoption, especially when the product is so far in the pre-alpha that it's approaching cuneiform. Thank you for it.

Do I detect just the slightest smidgen of a hint of a grudge, possibly based on personal encounter history, towards punctuality and professionalism of plumbers? :duck:

In this episode, Rarity gets wet.

Reads the title like:
"Three hundred and sixty degrees of complete global saturation."

That too, but not in this case. At the time I commented they were equal.

I don't remember all the specifics, but it's related to (non-directional) quotation marks and apostrophes, plus some other punctuation. Word gives me a count of 10239 (10348 before removing "-- and --", which in Word count as 2 words each when separated from other text by a space on each side, and -- which counts as 1 (Word doesn't like some forms of hanging punctuation)) for the chapter vs. 11125 (or 11116) from Fimfic. With 586 non-directional quotation marks, 219 non-directional apostrophes, and 80 --s you get the total count of 11125. Fimfic doesn't seem to count actual em-dashes, en-dashes, or directional quotation marks.

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