• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)


  • EPrincesses Can't Cook
    Following a certain eclipse, both halves of the Diarchy have agreed to work on their absent culinary skills. Anise Verum and Blending Stock are the lucky ponies who get to change that status. ('Lucky' may not be the right word.)
    Estee · 11k words  ·  579  7 · 8.8k views

Sun comes down, Moon goes up. Moon is lowered, Sun is raised. Ever since Discord was originally defeated, that has been the pattern, the heart of stability for life in Equestria, a celestial sign that ponies retain the helm.

But Luna remembers what life was like before, and the shards of beauty which could be found in chaos.

With the second anniversary of the Return approaching along with the associated holiday, Celestia wants to know if there's anything Luna would like to do in marking the occasion. And all Luna wants -- is an eclipse.

Other than Celestia and Luna, nopony has seen an eclipse in more than a thousand years.

This could be a problem.

(This story takes place along the general Triptych timeline, several moons before Luna's Lottery Lunacy.)

Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 216 )

I have nothing constructive to add just now, as I'm only just starting to read this and will edit it to include my thoughts once I have.


My... my eyes are teary. Did that 152MM *sniff* gun hit me again? *snort*


I don't know if any of your Discord is going to come out in this, but my headcanon on the matter is that Discord has no sense of wonder, no ear for music, no eye for beauty. He could create something heatrendingly gorgeous and have no idea, and likewise no idea why a pony would be displeased to see it squashed into a wad of black licorice.

Looking forward to how the sisters juggle this pending drama bomb.

I like this story so far, keep it up!

Oh dear. Yes, I can just imagine the public reaction to this, given that they want to bring back something from the age of Discord to cover up the sun.

Lesson here: Make your own food.


*looks at most recent chapter*

Pretty much.

So that's not going to end badly in any way. :facehoof:

So when's it going to hit Princess Twilight that for the rest of her immortal life she's going to be spending all day stopping one Ponyville Panic after another, all across Equestria?

Probably shortly before she looks into undergoing unpotheosis.

Sounds to me like Murdochs needs his/her/its own dose of investigative journalism; somepony should get in an do a big expose since he/she/it clearly has something to hide...

The word you are looking for is 'anapotheosis'. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Extry, extry! Fraudulent headlines cause riots! Extry!



And it is good that ponies at least have learnt not to mess with the bearers, at last...

I almost feel sorry for Chef and his little minions and the horrible, horrible beat-down they are likely to recieve at the hands of the aforementioned when they screw up their attack. (I doubt Luna and Celestia will have to lift a hoof....)

I don't think the Bearers will even need to get involved at all, these numbskulls look like they're on the fast track to a horrible, horrible beat-down at their own hooves. :trollestia:

Poor, stupid Chef.

So was Celestia repeating herself for effect there, or was that an editing harf?

Not a memory I wished to have, especially given that [i[smell...


"Oh?" Celestia asked, "are we in need of authority?"
A very tall, extremely distinctive shadow.
He slowly looked up, as did his brother. It took some time to cross the full distance.
"Oh?" Celestia asked, "are we in need of authority?"

Repeated line intentional, or not?


A pair of editing hiccups. One was just eye-slide and the second was because I decided that bit of speech worked better slightly earlier in the scene and shifted it -- while the Cut on the original placement failed to take. Thankee for the catches: both fixed.

And, thus simultaneously grateful and mildly embarrassed, back to work.

Celestia silently considered how much of the national budget's disaster relief fund had gone to Ponyville over the last two years, added an estimate for how much more would be required after an invasion of nobles, and made a mental note to, for a very rare once, ask Luna for a check on her math because she was hoping that infinity symbol wasn't really supposed to be there.

Agh! My hernia!


Flim and Flam are (rightly) screwed...!

I am almost disappointed now that I will have to wait at least a week for the next instalment, since I won't have net access while on holiday...!

Just… beautiful. Amazing. Brilliant. Wonderful.

Thank you.

Magical backlash to the horn, very interesting. I was just writing about that in my own story.

You bring up an interesting concept that I was wondering about a while ago.
Adds to the "Read-list".:raritystarry:

So, I have a question... What style of planet is your Equestria? By that I mean, is it a globe or a disc?

Why am I thinking that Discord somehow sealed those lost four inside an eclipse? I could read it that way, or more generally, but it seems like just the sort of ridiculous thing he'd try to pull.

they were put under heavy guard, confirmed as immobilized (heavier on the pegasus) and restrained (devices over the horns of the two unicorns)

And how were the earth ponies restrained? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Whoo, what a ride! A generous helping of hijinks, and then wham, right in the feels.

First: I went through the final chapter and fixed a number of small things which made perfect sense at 1:30 a.m. (Sleep-editing: still not the best idea.)

Second on through...


The actual title inspiration on this one was musical, but it's from Little Shop Of Horrors.


For me, Discord finds a degree of beauty in his own workings and chaos occurring naturally (and that's on display at one point, although not here) -- but having seen it, has no trouble getting rid of it so he can try something else. Plus his sense of what beautiful is can be disturbing to begin with. Chaos esthetics are not necessarily for the faint of heart or weak of sanity And yes, he'd have more than a little trouble with the concept of others desiring consistency, or seeing anything worthwhile in pattern.

As far as personal appearances, even in memory... not at this place on the timeline.


I think it's partially a territorial issue and fears of being without backup. In Canterlot, watch your step because there are others watching it for you. In Ponyville...


I've been working with it since Triptych started and it's spread into the connected stories. If you're curious for my take, there's an extensive definition section near the start of Chapter Eight.

Again: I'm aware I'm going to wind up posting a glossary.


...narrow that down? (Use private mail if you don't want to publicly post your own concepts) If you mean the idea of eclipses in Equestria... as noted in one blog post, there are ways where this is a fixfic for my own mistake.

(Short version: for Luna's Lottery Lunacy, I put a total eclipse in the Lunar Courtyard for a daytime press conference as part of the atmosphere -- then realized that given Equestria's cycle, eclipses can't exist. Several thousand words later...)


I'm flexible. (But until I see a cosmic turtle, it's a globe.)


Okay, that's just -- actually, I can see him trying it, but... well, not with me listening to his speeches.


And how were the earth ponies restrained?


That was amazing. I loved every second of it. Truly beautiful.

>as noted in one blog post, there are ways where this is a fixfic for my own mistake.

And as I may have forgot to tell you, there are many ways in which I am thankful you made that mistake. Because this story has been great.

Very nice. I like the way you dealt with the other four. I plan to deal withthem myself in my own verse.

2981826 Why does everyone hate Flim and Flam, hell, APPLEJACK was the antagonist in that episode as far as I`m concerned, what everyone seems to forget is that their SSCS6000 WORKED and it could make more cider than the apple family, it took the entire TOWN to make more cider than they did. EVEN THEN their SSCS6000 could make more (granted flawed) cider, when it was working and not in overdrive it was still more powerful than doing it by hoof. F&F got cocky, but their invention still worked, and was a marvel of technology. That`s like saying cars are bad because walking is more `honest work`

I just meant the concept as a whole, like a fridge brilliance moment after your watch/rewatch some episodes and realize "Whoa! If Luna's been gone that long it's possible that no one's ever seen an eclipse before". I've never read any of your works before now.


Because in this story, regardless of all what happens in any others, or canon, they were pulling (and have pulled) scams. And in this specific instance, were selling an item that, far from protecting ponies, would be more likely to cause them actual permenant blindness.

So, heck, no they don't get any sympathy.

And having just had our house ransacked, I'm even less inclined than usual to feel anything other than comtempt for the criminal element (which in this case in this story, Flim and flam are.)

Estee, ya bastard! You’re trying to kill me. I’ve long suspected several authors of trying to murder me, but now I’m certain; you clearly intended for me to fall off my chair laughing, hoping that I’d cave my skull in upon the table. Well, I got news mister, I’m on to you… :pinkiecrazy: Still, you might just pull it off; it’s clear that it isn’t safe to read this entire story in one sitting but it’s way too compelling to stop now.

(Seriously, I’m in stitches, and it’s a miracle that I haven’t woken everyone in the house.)

Seriously, I love all your stories. :twilightsmile:

I think your Luna and Celestia are really well written. They just have a great balance between them of humor, ruler, and the 'seen-it-done-it' attitude. Also Chef is such a jackass. :rainbowlaugh:

But really, this was a great story and I can't wait to read more!

What a wonderful read this was.

It started off with an amazingly powerful look into the history of Luna and Celestia, and especially of their love for one another after going through so much. A tale full of pain and joy and fear and hope, with the latter winning out. More than ideal for my tastes in stories - and oh, so many tears were shed!

Then: hijinks! Silly Chef-and-Scum! Twilight verbally beating the crap out of a stodgy Gryphon! Yay! ...all wrapped around more delightful and moving background between the Sisters.

And then the end: the sorrow of what was, the agony of what might have been, the pleasure in what is... and ultimately, once again, the hope for what can and will be, and many more tears.

I have nothing more to say right now than thank you.

Light and laughter,

Hah, I loved this! So good to see the Chef get his just desserts, and Stock being a good guy all along :D

Oh yes, just ignore the fact that when the Apple Family told them they didn't want to make a deal with them, which they had every right to do, they refused to accept that answer, and then tried to take they're home away from them. Also, no, it did not take the entire town, just the others of the mane 6 to.

3012557 Just because it could make more doesn't mean it's cider worth buying. If you watch the episode, only one pony drinks the FF brother's perfect cider, Granny Smith, and we never get her opinion of it, though she does get a nervous look.
And we all hate them because they want to take the Apple family's farm right out from under them. If they just wanted to make their own cider and compete with the Apples, well that's business and I can get that. To make their cider, though, they needed apples, and rather than grow them themselves, they wanted to swindle the Apples out of theirs.

3202543 The apple family DID agree to the deal though, they could have said "No, get the *$#@ off of our farm!" I might burn in hell for this, but why spend years building your own orchard when you could probably make a deal with a farmer as a provider. As several youtubers have proven, the deal the Flim-Flam brothers offered the Apples, would have made them MORE money at the rate ONE SCS6000 was working.

3022842 (First, my sympathies, I know the feeling of being robed) And yes, I am not speaking about the story, I personally like it. I was merely speaking about Cannon occurrences.

3201603 Well, I will say that they did pressure them into the deal, I will admit they were agressive, in the end, the Apples made the deal, they gave in. As for the mane 6, That is still six extra bodies around the farm that normally don't work there. And as I said, Technically, they won the bet. It was "who could make the most cider!" not who could make "the most DRINKABLE cider" They won the farm, fair n' square...well...sort of.

When I read Chef in this chapter, why was I envisioning A dumb version of Gareth Blackstock from Chef!


Except the deal was not "for the farm", the deal was for the "exclusive right to sell cider in Ponyville". Which is probably not something any of them have the legal right to do anyway (Mayor Mare seemed to take it seriously, so I'm not really sure what to think here). So Flim and Flam won the exclusive right to sell their undrinkable cider in Ponyville, and they would still have to find their own apples, unless they came to a separate agreement with the Apple family.

It apparently would have driven the Apples out of business, if they couldn't find any way to compensate, but Flim and Flam were threatening to drive them out of the cider market through legitimate competition, which would have had more or less the same effect. But Flim and Flam would still not own the farm - all their comments to that effect in the episode are nothing more than an intimidation tactic.

As for whether the offered deal (1/4 of the profits from machine-made cider) is actually profitable for the Apples, I'd want to examine the assumptions those youtubers made - I suspect they are assuming that the apples will otherwise provide no profit, or that only a small percentage of their yield is being used, which may or may not be the case. (Simple example, if we assume, for the sake of argument, that they use 10% of their annual yield for cider, and that Flim and Flam would use 100% of their annual yield, with the Apples getting 1/4 the profit, they'd be making (1/4)*10 = 2.5 times as much money from cider sales, but would then be out of apples to, y'know, sell. I strongly suspect there's not enough information provided in the episode to determine exactly how profitable the deal would be. Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about apple farming and cider-making.)

3204002 Huh...never thought of it that way...perhaps I was being a little bias to one side...still, what if we are just over-thinking an obvious moral in a little girls show... :applejackunsure:

Nah. :ajsmug:

And there, for all but the survivors, the count stopped.
"We were six..." she whispered.

Excuse me while I curl up in the corner and totally don't cry to myself like a little bitch.

2948687 it won't, because she's doing it already, and she's not immortal, like Cadence.


When I read Chef in this chapter, why was I envisioning A dumb version of Gareth Blackstock from Chef!

Sadly, I've never seen the series -- and having just read up on it a little, I'm starting to make tentative plans for fixing that.

I didn't have any particular chef in mind when I put him into the story -- although when the time came for his real name, the GR initials were ultimately a deliberate choice and a small tribute. (Fortunately, at no point did he ever say this was the most amazing counterrevolutionary cell.) However, the more I look at him, the more he could arguably pass for a slightly less demented version of Marco Pierre White.


But even so... it still wasn't intentional. There just seem to be certain, shall we say, personality traits which are known to pop up at the top of the profession.

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