• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)



It's one of the highest services a pony can aspire to.

Some ponies shouldn't aspire that high.

Audiobook performance by ObabScribbler.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 38 )

A Wonderbolt on trial? Oh dear. He'd better pray that Spitfire doesn't know about this. She's gonna hit the roof when she finds out. :rainbowderp:

This was very silly, but it was the good kind of silly. I certainly got a few chuckles out of it. Also, you managed to capture all of the character's voices relatively well, so there was not all that much confusion as to who was talking. There were quite a few grammatical hiccups (you may want to consider an editor), but that's just nitpicking. Overall, nice work. :pinkiehappy:

And we now see why jury trials are a mess. You do not get ponies like Twilight on the jury, you get maybe Hayseed if you are lucky.

Gave me a good hearty laugh. Especially Applejack's part.:twilightsmile:


Thanks for the spot. I've been so wrapped up in my Extinction Of 'Everyone' campaign (the word, not the world -- 'everypony' still doesn't always get in on first typing) that other errors have been scurrying away in the dark. I didn't even see the triple comma I had in for an ellipse until I went in to fix your find.

As long as I'm writing...

Open Courtroom Playground

I hereby grant permission to FIMFic's writers to take the Jury Duty concept and use it to show any other characters of their choice being rejected from service. (A little 'original concept by Estee' at the end of each would be nice, along with a notice of having written a new one.)

After all, all the ponies in this jury pool are crazy.

(Double-posted to Comments and Blog for better visibility.)

:rainbowhuh: Uh who are the other ponies? There are 2 extra conversations, or were those Twilight again because of all the inefficiency and school work. Otherwise this is pure comedy gold, AJ and RD for sure.


Twilight again both times. You know, once she gets going, she's kind of hard to stop.

I wonder which Wonderbolt it was? It couldn't be Soarin, he's way too chill. Well, maybe if the dude was blocking the pie counter. Then shit is on.

:ajsmug: Ah calls em lahk Ah sees em...
:rainbowhuh: I still don't get why they wouldn't want me in there though. I'd be like, the COOLEST juror ever!
:yay: i'm just happy i DIDN'T get chosen...
:duck: Well, I still say they could have at LEAST hired me to advise their client on how to dress for a trial.
:facehoof: i just can't figure out why they wouldn't listen to ANY of my suggestions... they would have saved so much time!
:pinkiehappy: well, how about a "nopony-got-chosen-but-that's-okay" party to celebrate?
:trollestia: there better be cake.
:eeyup: eeyup...
:moustache: sweet. i could use some cake before they sequester us after the trial tomorrow.
:twilightoops: how did YOU get chosen?!
:pinkiesmile: silly Twilight, he has a mustache! how could you not trust someone with a mustache?

Pfft, yeah this is pretty much how it would happen. :rainbowlaugh:

RD, Twilight, and Pinkie would be the worst jurors ever.

Hilarious little story.

I would have loved to see all six of them in an actual jury setting, though. Imagine the havoc! :facehoof::pinkiecrazy:

That was awesome, and it makes me really want to read a Twelve Angry Ponies story.

I have heard stories from my dad and Uncle Henry (Lord rest both their souls) about the jury selection process. This story sounds like someone who's been there.

And I so love Applejack's comments:
"Ah want t' make sure Ah've got this right. So once this thing gets started, the one at that table is gonna be sayin' his client is innocent, never did anythin', and we've got t' let him go. Right? And you, you're gonna be telling us that the very same pony did everythin', needs t' be punished, and we've got t' be the ones who say so. That's the way it's gonna work?"

"Yes, that's basically it..."

"Well, fine. Let's just save some time, then! Just tell us right now which one of y'all is the lying bastard, and we can all go home!"

I'm with you, Applejack! :ajsmug:

And since she's the Element of Honesty, how could she even sit on jury? Wouldn't she be able to pick out the liars from the get-go? Surely that sort of ability with its power to shorten trials (and cut attorney's fees) would get her disqualified.

In that case, she should just be the judge: it would be the best money saving decision Celestia would ever make, and being a lawyer would suddenly become a lot tougher

3115411 True, but AJ would probably hate it, seeing how she's just a farm girl at heart.

No arguments there, perhaps in her home town where disputes are few rather than in Canterlot where i assume this summons took place.

Okay, this is hilarious. I really loved Applejack's straightforward approach to the whole thing.

How about Insert Name Here as a first name only. If his first name was Insert, I wouldn't let my filly get too close to him, if you know what I mean.

Hi there. I hope you don't mind, but I liked this fic so much I have put together an audio version on YouTube.


Mind? Ummm... see most-recent-as-of-this-writing blog entry. (For late arrivals, that's this one.)

Short, can't repeat it all here without feeling twice as linguistically bereft form: anything but. Thank you.


Ah, that's what was throwing me off. I didn't know Twilight got multiple sections, so Twi2 had me thinking, "...Cheerilee...?" and Twi3 had me completely stumped. But now that I've got it... I've got it. :twilightsheepish:

I listened to scribbler's reading of this and loved it. This is a great, funny little Fic. Favourited and liked:twilightsmile:

This is a silly little thing.

Poor lawyers. They never saw it coming.


So silly and fun! XDDDD

Poor Twilight. The world is full of ingrates who don't appreciate her efforts to make things more efficient. ;)

This was hilarious and silly and fun. :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:

This was awesome. Also, I think Rarity has a point...


There's one simple reason that won't work:

They're all lying bastards.

oh, that "insert name here" reminds me of several Diskworld stories:
Vimes has a personal "dis-organizer" run by an Imp who always calls him "insert name here".
and when people take the oath, they keep saying, "i comma square bracket name of applicant square bracket..."

Unless you are Detritus, then you repeat it about 10 minutes later after everyone else does.

You'd think they were being dumb and quirky at first glance, but they were actually being smart. They just dodged jury duty which can be loooooong and boring.

hell, I was just in jury duty in September; I managed to get out for nearly the entire month, then on the VERY LAST DAY, I got picked. had to stay the whole day and miss work (which was okay, because my job has a VERY good jury duty policy)

Cool, I'm up for possible jury picking myself.

"Say, you know some ponies say names are destiny? You know, like how somepony will name her filly with something that includes a reference to an occupation and then that pony gets a cutie mark for the job? What kind of cutie mark do you think Insert Name Here would have? I bet it's a blank form! You'd be really good at filling them out! Or writing them up. Maybe in triplicate. Wow, that's boring . When I have a foal of my own someday, Insert Name Here? Is not going to be on the short list."

Finally someone understands.

Perfect characterization.

"Well, fine. Let's just save some time, then! Just tell us right now which one of y'all is the lying bastard, and we can all go home!"

I think I died of laughter right here. :rainbowlaugh:

omg pinkie, rarity, aj and twilight were insane in this story why haven't i found this earlier?

I read a story about a week or so ago where Twilight becomes a Princess via a strange adventure with Princess Luna (oh and they are an item btw). Anywho, Twilight is having a meeting with some group of Nobles and she gets a bit flustered and tells everyone to freeze, and in doing so freezes time across the entirety of Equestria. Naturally, Twilight panics and tries to figure out how to fix things, and whilst doing just that notices some errors and inconsistencies within the magical "field" that is part of Equestria, she makes everything nice and neat and restarts time, but quickly notices something very wrong. Everyone, including her special somepony Luna is acting very odd, they are all acting like machines no emotion, no personality, no nothing. Thankfully before the story's end everything is back to normal, but she learned that perfect efficiency is not all that its cracked up to be.

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