• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 minutes ago


On the Sliding Scale Of Idealism Vs. Cynicism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon page.)


For the Bearers, a mission can begin -- or end -- at any time. In this case, they're tired, hungry, completely out of bits, and stuck roaming the streets of an unfamiliar town until Sun-raising. So while they're waiting for their ride home, why not take advantage of that costume party? Just go in claiming to be masquerading as the Bearers, keep the circulation centered around the food trays... in Rarity's opinion, it's the best possible way to get through the night. And it's not as if they've ever had something go wrong at a high-society party before.

...except for all the times when it has.

The time to learn what everypony thinks of you is when nopony knows you're there...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Dedicated to Harpo Marx.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 70 )

I read the description and was immediately sold

Glad to see you’re still writing in spite of all the shit life has thrown at you.

I see several prominent rich ponies not getting service from Rarity in the future and possibly a slower response from all the bearers in the future. I would hope in the future Celestia would send a representative of the crown or gaurd to assist the bearers after such an event.

I'm still waiting for the 6 to throw a fit over these 'missions' to places far and wide without serious recompense or really, any sort of coverage/backup. Though I've no clue what 'this' mission was, something about delivering a spell? It sounded like courier work, and why would that be both urgent and require all 6.

Maybe after Tripytch they'll finally start rejecting their assumed burden without cause.

And it's not as if they've ever had something go wrong at a high-society party before.

I think there's a typo in the description. :raritywink:

I had heard of Maretha's Vineyard, of course.

I see. I was considering several possibilities, but it's nice to get some decisive context.

That thing with the centaur --

Ah, that did happen. And now I'm wondering if Fluttershy tried to convince Tirek he should be dead of bowel torsion...

"...I know, Pinkie. Am... am I the only pony who remembers how that usually --"

I empathize with Fluttershy. Speaking from roleplaying experience, the lot of the genre-savvy is not a happy one, to say nothing of when it's your turn to be the party's voice of reason.

Ponyville filled with dozens of little mes, all going around gathering tribute.

I should try to get a percentage of that.

The tribute. Not a licensing fee or anything. Getting to pretend you're me is too awesome to put a price on.

Thus began the annual Tithe of the Dashites, as overseen by High Priestess Scootaloo.

"Did you know they stopped calling their 'unable to perform' list the Injured Reserve?" The hidden wings were beginning to twitch with poorly-repressed mirth. "Now it's Rainbow's Roommates."

Huh. Headcanon considered at bare minimum. If nothing else, I could see it being a running gag in the locker room.

...momentarily distracted from Fantasy #172 in the Vengeance On Rarity Series: inflict them all.

I presume #173 is "start over, inflicting them at random. With extra paisley."

"...mostly for going out in public," the caretaker finished. "...but also for that thing with the centaur."

... I swear I've been writing these as I read.

In any case, hilarious yet sobering stuff. I admit, I do toss and turn at times wondering what people really think of me, so this kind of thing is a special sort of nightmare made manifest in the most hilarious way possible. And yes, here's hoping the palace learns from this one: communicate with the local authorities, have a few vouchers ready to go at all times, or at the very least, don't let the Bearers go unsupervised for more than a few hours. A malfunctioning spell isn't the only thing that might go critical.

Thank you for the story.

Haha, I forgot how funny these vignettes can be. Thank you for sharing. I liked that they shared the actual good things ponies said about them near the end and didn't just hear negative remarks. Very sweet. :twilightsmile:

They totally went to Staten Island. Or something close at least*. Looking forward to the potential Luna oneshot, but just make sure you're resting too, man.

*Note: I don't actually know anything and am probably wrong

To Charlie Chaplin who managed to lose a look alike contest (although the actual details remain sketchy, and may just be urban legend).

A spell was malfunctioning. They solved the problem and were left with no physical evidence that they had done anything.

Exactly what the malfunction was is deliberately left vague, since this story is about *after.*

Martha's Vineyard.

It's a good thing for those officers that the Mane Six are all law-abiding ponies, because I really can't see them not beating the stuffings out of the average pony police force if they decided not to be cooperative. (And if anyone disagrees, please explain why the Pony police aren't doing the job the Royal guards should be doing. :twilightsmile: )

9258545 There are days that I think Estee writes *because* of the things life throws in that direction. Some of which have spikes. Or are electrified.

The palace has, as they say, dropped the ball on this one.

The ball in question is full of rather sensitive high explosives.

SOMEONE is in for a royal tongue lashing.

Not the fun kind.


The pony who'd decided to attend in the guise of a miniaturized ski resort came with a working chairlift.

Dang...I wanna see that one now. :raritystarry:

For every one of those comments made to the Mane 6, I was going "Oh, no they didn't!" :rainbowlaugh:

Figures Rarity was the one to mess up what had been her idea to begin with. :ajsmug:

Well, that went about as well as I expected. At least the mansion was still standing.

You have a certain style of writing that makes everything you write very entertaining. You're the Morgan Freeman of writing style, I think.

"Eavesdroppers never hear well of themselves." old saying

Growing up, when it wasn't baseball season one of the local TV stations used to show old movies on Saturday afternoon

The real question is whether or not this incident will be what prompts Celestia to devise some sort of official identification documents for them.

Or devise some method of communication so that if they finish early, they can call for a ride home.

Or invent a charge card.

Or literally anything so that it doesn’t seem like she does this to them on purpose.

Did Twilight only find out it was a costume because she tried to do a quick reshelving?

Or does she......:trollestia:

Wait a minute... Fluttershy does have tail extensions.

Ah yes, the downside to being famous. Namely, the fame. Random strangers think they know you better than you know yourself based on nothing more than rumors and their own projections.

It'd be so much worse if Equestria had social media like Facebook or Twitter.

Good to see you back in the thick of things. I really enjoy these little side stories - there’s a time for your epics, and there’s a time for these that are short and come with enjoyable snark.

Holy shit, that's an old episode.

God that's weird to think about, feels old man.

Yeah, but I thought that was located within another place like a city or something. I don't know. Don't mind me just being dumb online lol.


That also happened to Dolly Parton if my memory serves me correctly.

Actually, I think they were implying that this was something Gabby Gums had made up so to fulfill Diamond Tiara's requirement of "juicy" stories.

Makes sense the tabloids got a hold of it and then ran with it, in either case.

Yep, that sounds about right,..!

I don't know what they're mad about, Rarity's plan got them food and a place to sleep. It was a clear success.

The real Martha's Vineyard is a very large island off the southern coast of Massachusetts. The one that isn't Nantucket.

It's full of summer homes for the wealthy. There's no bridge and the ferry doesn't run at night.

Well clearly your memory is no worse for wear, bravo.

Five ponies looked at her. Thought about how a mare who was so good at talking them into trouble could also talk them out of it. Everything she'd brought to the group: both for the missions and on a personal level. Regarded a mare who was, at the end of all things, their friend.

moments like this are why i keep coming back to this site.

Lol when i looked at this it had six hundred and sixty six views.

Well that was fun. Poor bearers. What was the actual mission they had been sent on?

They did lie quite a bit but a lot of it was also just private stuff, mainly it's Fluttershys reaction that makes it seem true.
Sometimes so I'll take it.

"But she still has a chance for love!" the teenager beamed. "If she just looks at the right ponies. After all, you know who's already been repeatedly proven immune!"

Applejack blinked.


Kid's rather desperate to get laid... Or maybe is already dead inside.

IIRC Triptych was originally planned before the canon reveal of Starswirl, so Estee had a rather worse outcome for him.

After this and the clothist colony, I wonder whether Rarity will learn that haring off with the first idea in her head that could get her out of a little discomfort just isn't working out very well.

So... something I've been wondering for a while now:

Why tails?

Judging from bits of the early story, a malfunctioning spell.
I'm assuming something that'd been installed and forgotten about.

I do like stores that show us how others see the bearers, how they think they act and really look. Seeing the hero's though different cultural lenses, like the culture of elites we saw here. I recall one story where Twilight goes to a reindeer country and discovers they call her "Celestia's shadow" and think she's a dark sorceress/assassin.

Honestly, the bearers need to get paid for all of the work they do. This is crazy.

As always, the only thing I regret after reading an Estee story is not having gotten around to it sooner.

Whilst I enjoyed the story, I must admit that I don’t really understand the ending, can someone explain to me?

I get that Twilight would do this kind of stuff for free, but everyone else. The fact that neither Celestia or Luna offer monetary compensation is really weirdly out of character for the universe you've made. It makes sense in the original series as real world applications and taxes don't exist. But they do here and that hasn't changed.

Unless there's an obstructive bureaucrat directly responsible for that stuff and its in a later story.

I recall that in the Triptych continuity, Star Swirl was responsible for creating the Alicorn Amulet in a failed bid to ascend, driving him mad and leading to a horrible death. I could be mixing it up with something else though.

Twilight spent the whole series gushing about how great Star Swirl was. A "never meet your heroes" type moment is almost inevitable given that setup.

I'm confuse as well. I don't know what happened in the end. The gossips seems like nothing I ever heard.

Eh.They don't get paid, they don't have to pay property damage even if it's their fault... most times it's a balance. I'd work for no pay if it got me out of replacing everything the parasprites ate.

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