• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 44 minutes ago

Estee


On the Sliding Scale Of Idealism Vs. Cynicism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon page.)

E

Most ponies believe there's only one route to the Elements: gather a team of six, have each member demonstrate a vital virtue, then find and activate the magic. As it turns out, there's actually two.

You can grind.
Or you can start spending money.
Decisions, decisions.



(Now with author Patreon page. Also, as of this posting, trying out Ko-fi tips for the first time. Does anyone know how to embed that button?)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 129 )

So you're saying cutie mark cancer comes from a loot drop?

I can buy that.

Also, have you seen the new ponies with murals of themselves on their coat? That's the new Rainbow Power, I guess.....

Wow, saving Equestria really gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment...

8617938
Dang, you beat me to it.

8617942
I had to post it quickly, before I even read the story. There was no way I was gonna give that joke up if I didn't have to lol.

Is this actually the first time seeing Estee Nightmare Moon?
Eh, all's whale that ends whale.

8617938
*Shakes angry fist!

Simply brilliant. I applaud you, Sir or Ma'am, I applaud you.

Help! I'm trapped in an alternate reality and I can't get back!

Oh...wait. :fluttercry:

Damnit EA!!!!

Ahh, a game designed to make the player lose from the start. No matter how much they pay.

Pity there aint alternate games on othre cheaper platforms that are freee to play, without microtransactions, and that reward grinding by having the bosses capped at a lower level the player can achieve.

Your characters are so overleveled they can take out bosses just by mashing A?

Theres no such thing as Over Leveled.

There is only the OFF SWITCH. :pinkiecrazy:

But just think of the sense of pride and accomplishment you'll feel when you finally get all six! :derpytongue2:

Comment posted by JavaScript deleted Dec 18th, 2017

“There is a third option,” the monster said through gritted teeth. “You could use micro-transactions.”

“Micro-Transactions?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“Yes, this offers the best of both options. Or the worst, depending on your point of view.”

“What are micro-transactions?”

“If, for example, one of your party was hurt. Badly hurt. Not quite dead, but very badly hurt. Instead of waiting for them to recover, you could buy a healing potion. There are various strengths, and the fee paid is a reflection of the power. For two bits, you have the restorative power of one cracked hoof. For two-thousand, you could recover from an injury that punctured up to four internal organs.”

“And this is better, because...”

“Because you get to control your financial investment in the quest! You have the hard work and bragging rights of the grind, but with the higher likelihood of success offered by full purchase.”

“So, I could do this and guarantee that no pony would die?”

“I provide perfectly acceptable cannon-fodder, and she wants everyone to live,” the Nightmare muttered. “Yes, if that is what you really want. But do consult your financial institution first. They may impose an individual fee on each transaction.”

“What? That’s outrageous!”

“Where do you think I got the idea from?”

Alternate ending take if you wanted to go too meta would have been exclusive rights to next chapter dlc. But that is probably a bridge too far.
Quite the weird and absurd little story here. I do like how it starts normally in Twilight's POV before the joke kicks in.

The intent is to provide Bearers with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different Elements.

As for cost, I, Nightmare Moon, selected initial values based upon data from the Pre-Discordian Era and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before my return. Among other things, I'm looking at average per-Bearer credit earn rates on a daily basis, and I'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that Bearers have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay.

I appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion my loyal subjects have put forth around the current topics in my court, news articles and across numerous protests against my rule.

As your Queen, I will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as I can.

I might be imagining it but before I liked the story, it was on thirty-three likes. Then when I did, it went up to thirty-eight.
Again, it's very likely that I was hallucinating given how sick I am right now but I'm pretty sure that's what I saw.

8618092
Swear to God, you're comment was on one like, and then I liked it and it went up to three.

I must be out of my mind right now.

8618215
Likes aren't tracked in real time, only updated when you add yours. Reality is not, in fact, crumbling around you.

Well, it may be, but not because of that.

8618225
Well that's a load off my back.
Kind of.

I choose to treat the downvote count as representing FIMFic's total number of Electronic Arts employees.

That's one four!

This fanfiction may or may not be satire, you'll never know.

Is it just me, or does this comment section make anyone else feel a little bit... iunno, personally attacked? I can't quite put my finger on wh-

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Nightmare Moon has an excellent business model! I approve!

P R I D E
A N D
A C C O M P L I S H M E N T

8618361
Mine took it from 51 to 70. :trixieshiftright:
Clearly this means my opinion is worth more and not that I left the page without refreshing for a while.

8617926
Well of course you can buy it, that's the whole point :moustache:

Well, now that you've outdone my Black Friday story for sheer mercenary destructive greed, I'm tempted to return fire with a story in which Celestia and Luna expand the deficit by 1.5 trillion bits to give themselves a royal tax cut.

On the other hoof, that's a slippery slope of cynicism which can only end in fire and tears.

E L E C T R O N I C
A S S H O L E S

8618426

On the other hoof, that's a slippery slope of cynicism which can only end in fire and tears.

For you two, maybe. For me, it'd be entertaining.

This is the best story ever made. It speaks so many truths that it made some sort of salty liquid come from my eye, I don't know what it is, i think i will have to go to the hospital to get myself checked out.

Should have asked Glimmer for a Cutie Mark booster pack. I hear she has been collecting them for years.

8617959

Simply brilliant. I applaud you, Sir or Ma'am, I applaud you.

Press [F] to pay respects

8618262

To understand the nature of this fanfiction and any further fanfictions you may read, please purchase the Satire Filter DLC from the store. It'll fill you with a sense of pride and accomplishment.

8618259

And you, Sir or Ma'am, just earned yourself a follow.

Oh, dear. Once again, I thank my stars that Minecraft Java Edition--the one video game I play with any kind of regularity--is truly a one-purchase deal. There's no saving the world in it, but there's no need to buy anything either. Once you've got the game, you've got it all, and forever (at least as things are now).

Nightmare Moon almost reminds me of Discord.

Okay, I know I'm probably getting to the point where I'm known as the 'takes this way to seriously' guy, but does this Nightmare Moon's general manner and style resemble the real one?

You beautiful bastard.

There’s a reason you and I get along so well. And this story is proof.

Now the question is, how deep can this rabbit hole go? When will the ride end?

8618478
F

Can you pull duplicate elements?

.... *take a long drink from his flask*

Now, this is why I keep clear of any video games more complicated than "minesweeper."

JMP

8618673
I'll join ya, buddy. I pre-ordered Battlefront II

I've rolled the Flim & Flam Truthfully Honestly Genuine Amulet of the Element of Kindness four fucking times already. That's the same four-star rarity card. Do you have any idea how much I had to grind to get all those x10 rolls, only to find out that it's WASTED on the same fucking reward.

"Kindness" my ass. The game is rigged.

8618603
I am certain that there is a mod somewhere, it is the most modded game in the world after all

8618746 :trollestia:
"Oh dear, it looks like you have detonated a mine! Would you like to pay $1.50 for an additional life?"

"It looks like you are having trouble deciding on your next move. Would you like to pay $0.25 to randomly reveal one hidden mine?"

"For only $5.99, you can get the brand new flag pack, which changes the shapes and colours of the flags you plant on mines!"

And now we know what Gamer Luna's nightmare version is like.

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