• Member Since 15th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 21st, 2018

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What if the villains were allowed to win without a fight? Would all of their plans bear them the fruits they so desired?
Probably not, especially when their royal adviser is Twilight Sparkle.

A collection of (continuous) One-shots in which our heroes don't have any epic fights with villains, and simply allow the power of logic to crush all of the hopes and wishes of the would-be rulers of Equestria.

Currently up: Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra (bonus chapter - the fight is so not-epic it happens off screen).

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 613 )

Someone stop that wagon! I need to get on it with my band.

As with many other authors I've seen on this site, I'll be using the first post to put my own comments and acknowledgments down, guaranteeing that most of you are forced to read them if you actually finished the story.

So, first off, I need to acknowledge my proofreader - WhatTheMoo. He gave the story a very thorough fixing up of missing commas and other punctuation abuse, and pointed out where the sentences just didn't seem to flow right. If you still find problems with my writing, complain to me first, as I didn't follow all of his advise (just the parts that I thought were right.)
I intend to continue this with another couple of chapters for Discord and Chrysalis, though I haven't yet decided whether to keep all of them in the same canon as each other. If I do, it will obviously change a few minor details here and there, and I'll need an Alternate Universe tag by the second chapter.

And please, do tell me what you think of my silly little idea.

:rainbowlaugh:
Nice idea! Chances are that most Evil Overlords don't follow their advisors...

(Elements of Harmony) Wait... so we're just going to sit here in the Castle of the Pony Sisters, collecting dust for eternity? ..... FAIL D:

That having been said, I LOVE this story so far. Take a Casio Watch, one of my Favorite things, my Upward Pointed Thumb, and this lovely piece of train track.

This is great so far! In addition to RaptorCallofShadows' gifts, may I humbly offer this piece of string and a framed portrait of Pat Buchanan?

BRILIANT! For your service I present to you a buy one get one half off coupon for baby food, a toy dump truck, a slightly used ant farm, and four pounds of pocket lint. Enjoy.

that was both incredibly clever and hilarious, Twilight's reasoning of the whole situation may have been my favourite part though NMs shock was also fantastic.
If anything you could do two set's for this fic one where Twilight and co deal with the "most recent" villain much the way she did here and other chapter following along this AUs canon... though would Discord even wake up in this universe seeing as there are no new bearers.

Regardless thumbs up faved and followed! :pinkiehappy:

Awesome. I love stories where villains get what they want without fighting. So hilarious to watch them go all "BWAH?".

Well, I'm feeling warm and fuzzy with all the positive comments so far, although I'm not sure what I'll use the baby food coupon, slightly used ant farm and toy dump-truck for. The four pounds of lint on the other hand, I'm sure I'll see plenty of use for, along with the new watch and train tracks. The severed upward pointing thumb will go into a glass case to be admired right in front of the picture of Pat Buchanan, with a piece of string tied around it.

Don't worry about the Elements RaptorCallofShadows, Twilight is still planning on hunting them down for her own intellectual curiosity. They'll just not be being kept in a vault that only Celestia can open. Twilight's so keeping the key.

vazak: I may just have to take your suggestion and write it both ways, though some of the alternate versions might find their way into their own stories. Chrysalis in particular is a treasure trove of potential silliness for my bizarre mind.

Be careful with what you wish for, because it may come true... :rainbowlaugh: This fic is priceless, I just can't understand how could it have so little recognition, not even 80 views as of this post and not even 20 thumbs up? I guess this is going to need submitting to some groups to allow it to shine a little.

Brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT!
Bravo! This smited thine foe with accuracy most unheard of!

Keep it up lad!:pinkiehappy:

that was insanely good, seriously, i laughed the entire time!:pinkiehappy:

Nicely done and well plotted! It's not my personal headcanon of events behind the scenes but this is well written enough that I can buy it. Good show!

Can't wait to see how Discord will be talked down...
After all, he is Chaos. Capital C Chaos. that, versus the one closest to Logic incarnate, could give some interesting fireworks...

Gloriously Beautiful! there are no other words!
The beginning had a few hints of "a failed friendship student" that had me on the floor but they never got too bitter.
Trust Twilight to be able to make herself Absolutely Invaluable to whatever princess is in charge :twilightsmile:
“I'll leave you with your student for a bit, so she can fill you in on what you've missed... Celly. I'll need her back within an hour or so though.” :heart:
Have All my Favorites! All of them! :twilightsmile:

1544941: It's probably because its only been viewable on the site for a day or so. Though I'll probably submit it to a group once I've gotten the second chapter finished & proofread. Any suggestions on where to submit it?

1545006 ; 1545093 ; 1545220: Your comments fill me with glee and a renewed drive to keep working on this. I have to balance writing with a programming project and culture research project at the moment... but I will try to get the next chapter out within the month, preferably within the next couple of weeks.

1545274 : It should be fun to do. My only concern with writing the Discord part is keeping it believable and humorous at the same time. Deciding how he'll react to things is a bit challenging at times, so I'll probably be re-watching his episodes at least once or twice while writing the second chapter. I expect both Twilight and Discord to be pulling out their manes by the end of dealing with each other, though for completely different reasons.

1545325 : I'm happy that you enjoyed the story. As for the hints of disgruntled Twilight? I had just finished reading an update on that story when I started on mine, and I've always seen Twilight as having an internal smart mouth regardless. :twilightsheepish:

This is everything I could have ever wanted in a fanfiction of his nature. I can't help but feel that my life is complete now.
i.imgur.com/97pbN.gif
Now just to settle back and wait for the rest :pinkiehappy:

I couldn't stop smiling as I read this. Diplomancy is the best fighting style! I like how you both kept Twilight in character and Luna/NMM intelligent. You make a lot of good points, and spun things in a way that avoided crack, which I can appreciate.

The only thing that has me scratching my head is the last paragraph, which could imply Twilight has an interest in gathering power rather than just serve Celestia and do research.

This was wonderful. I do so hope you'll be adding more as suggested by the description - I assure you it will be being read and enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

1545653: Ah, but what does she use her new political power for? Granting herself permission to study whatever she wants, like potentially dangerous magic artifacts. Also, remember what she did the second she saw winter wrap up going to pot from poor management? Took over running everything. As far as I'm concerned, she does this sort of thing automatically, frequently without even noticing.
No, having Twilight try to take over Equestria is already scheduled for a different fic I've got in the works for after this is done. One of them anyways. Not sure the order I'll be working on my pet projects though.

A different format then the rest keeps me impressed.

1546858
Running Equestria would cut into her time gaining knowledge and power. And the purpose of power is to gain knowledge, right?

Good stuff here. I had a feeling about where it was going once I saw Twilight had requested some alternate decorations ... poor Nightmare Moon didn't stand a chance. :twilightsheepish:

Great story! I can't wait to see Chrysalis arrive on the scene :twilightsmile:

OMG Please continue this! I love this!

that was awesome, hope you update soon! :twilightsmile:
liked and faved :pinkiehappy:

Oh that tricky bitch Twilight. Giving herself so much power, Luna doesn't even know she is being used as a puppet.

I noticed a couple errors, but nothing too big. It will be glossed over by most readers as they chuckle at how dealing with nobles must be.

1550618: I think I found at least one of the errors that had been missed in editing. I seem to have used a plural instead of singular when referring to the fog, because it was going to be billowing storm clouds in the first draft. Then I went back and re-watched the episode, and saw that NMM hadn't been quite that dramatic in her entrance, so I changed it, but forgot to change the tense. That should be fixed now.

Ah! my little pony: buerocracy is magic!
Great fic!:twilightsheepish:

1550908
Think I also noticed a "her" when a "here" should have been used.

Twilight Sparkle, Master of the Nat20 Bluff Check.

That was hilarious.

1544040
The Seal on Discord might have been weakening ever since Celestia and Luna were cut off 1000 years ago.
I always figured it was all the things together.
-Luna renouncing Harmony
-Celestia using the elements in a way they werent meant to, cutting off herself
-NMM shattering them
-they bonding with new bearers
-as the straw that broke the camels back, the CMC fighting next to the statue
The first two happend here as well, so it might still happen. Celestia specifically mentioned the seal broke because she and luna lost connection to he elements, and that most likely happens already during the first NMM conflict, given the elements petrified, inactive state.


For the story itself... Brilliant. Favorite, T-up.

We never really got told about the seal did we, heh so I guess anything goes. :pinkiesmile: Good idea there with lot's of different things all happening weakening the seal until the final straw breaks the stone.

This is beautiful! I honestly laughed out loud, which practically never happens. The concept was great, but the execution makes it gold. I especially like the way you sell Nightmare Moon's reactions- lots of authors might have been tempted to go for ham or 'comedic' despair, but you keep it somewhat realistic and focus on Celestia's understandable gobsmacked reaction instead. The fact it's STILL hilarious while remaining vaguely plausible makes it ever so much funnier. :trollestia:

Never going to update this, are you? :pinkiesad2:

1667107: Actually, I've been working on the second chapter for a while now. The problem? Discord isn't cooperating. I'm on the third re-write of it, and it's to a point where it's longer than this one was, and only 3/4th or 1/2 done. I'm considering breaking Discord's AU chapter into two parts just so you all don't have to wait so long for the updates, and maybe skipping on his cannon chapter, at least until inspiration strikes. On the bright side, the Changeling chapter doesn't look like it will take too long for me to crank out after this.

My jaw dropped at when I finished this... My lord, she is an evil mastermind! :pinkiegasp:

I forsee that after 5 or so chapters twilight will somehow be the immortal god-queen of Equestria, the wastelands, the crystal Empire, and be the sole spirit of Harmony and Chaos. Discord will be her court Jester, NMM, Celly, and Chrysallis will be either delegated to minor kingdoms or her mistresses depending on which way you go, and King Sombra will be her tutor in crazy dark magic.

She will still be inferior to Pinkie, but then so is everypony, so what can you do? :pinkiecrazy:

Cleverness is my favorite thing to read. :pinkiehappy:

1669651
So, the spirit of chaos is not playing nice in script, eh? Who would've thought? :twilightsmile:

I also forgot that you were going to have two lines after this point: canon (as if all the prior episodes went the way they did) and your own (as if episode one was Twilight's coup--I mean, assistance). I wouldn't mind seeing just the AU chapter(s) though.

And, we have Discord. Or part of his chapter anyway. :twilightblush:
I'm actually done the second part, but It still need's editing and proofreading, and I've made you all wait for this chapter long enough as it is, so I'm posting part one now. This one covers Discord's introduction and the establishing of him being in charge. The second part will cover his actual attempt at ruling, along with the conclusion. If you want to read it all at once, just wait a day or two.

I'll post the second part within a day or two, assuming WhatTheMoo can find the time to proofread it during the week. This mess is long enough for two chapters regardless of delays though. I hope that Chrysalis's chapter is shorter than this one was: It's over twice as long as the Nightmare Moon chapter, once both parts are factored in. Dear Luna and Celestia, but Discord is an attention hog.

As for the story itself, I am terribly sorry for my segue into daring do style stuff at the start, but I had to kill a writer's block after the second re-write, and that just made itself into the introduction to the chapter, showcasing just how different things are for Twilight in this AU canon caused by the first chapter.

I'll do the Chrysalis chapter next, then think about if I need a canon version for Discord, or if it will even be possible to do something with Sombra. No offense to him, but he doesn't have much back story or personality for me to borrow off of from the show. I'd have to extrapolate fully from what little we do know about him, which is that he was a tyrant who didn't mind grinding his empire into the dirt with slavery and oppression. Might not work so well for this series.

As always, if I missed something or there's an obvious error, please point it out to me so I can fix it and stop embarrassing myself.

1688263

Haha. I do hope Discord wins , honestly. It'll be fun to see Trollestia and Discord won't rule even if he won, because it makes sense and .... you know the drill. Winning is fun, ruling for eternity - no fun. Haha, off you go!

Finally! I don't see why you were so anxious at having to write for Discord since you did a good job here of it.

1688263
I don't think you can do anything with Sombra with this other then what happened in the episode. not only was he totally okay with wrecking the country in the flashback, in the episode's present he was less of a character and more of a vague disaster, my headcanon is that Sombra died banishing the Crystal Empire and that big cloud monster is his Black magic going wild with his last intentions. sorta like a living curse.

Looking at the end, it seems like Twilight may not have anticipated the bet ...

I like this Twilight!

She's a take-charge mare who knows what she wants, and goes out and gets it. She doesn't step on anyone's hooves unnecessarily or maliciously though, so it's all good. Poor Discord, guy doesn't know what's coming, I give him a week before the nobliity drive him nuts, or he turns them into fruitcake... both work to the benefit of Equestria though so, win-win for Twilight/Celestia.

1539508 advice*

good story so far =3

Oh Sweet Celestia I love this so much. :pinkiecrazy:

I like how Discord broke the fourth wall a couple times when remarking how "this is different" when viewing Luna's defeat at the hooves of Twilight and those pesky nobles.

Ha!
This is awesome. You can tell exactly where Trollestia caught on to Twilight's brilliant last-second plan. :trollestia:

And it's also obvious that Discord had a cliff-notes version of how things were supposed to go while he was in stone, and is now very confused. Well done with the more subtle example in the stained glass of Twilight's easy victory.

I'm curious how Equestria's new ultimate weapon will work against the changelings. Ooh, will she identify Chrysalis before the wedding, and make a quick deal, and then help her deal with the aftermath, forcing Chrysalis to confront several of the major issues with her plan as it unfolded in the wedding episodes? :pinkiehappy:

that was hilarious. :rainbowlaugh: I also love the new rainbow dash. and i love how twi just trolls Celestia with her own laws.

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