• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 29th, 2013

CogsTheBrony


I write fanfics. Mostly gay ones, actually. So far it's focused on Big Macintosh and Caramel, though I'm going to be branching out in the near future to focus on other ponies.

E

Twilight's been almost alone for a thousand years, and in a desperate attempt to bring her friends back, intentionally unseals Discord, Spirit of Chaos, from his stone slumber.

He's in for some nasty surprises, since she's changed quite a bit over the years...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 87 )

What do you mean 'Complete'?!

Also, you might want to throw some single quotes around the thoughts.

Interesting idea, Twilight is mostly in character and Discord could use a bit of an argument.
Why did you mark it as complete, it can be expanded upon.

It kind of left off at a REALLY weird place if it's going to try and stand on it's own as a oneshot.

And...?
I am not sure this can count as complete. Did you make a mistake?

Yeah, I liked this, it need expansion though... It would be pretty easy to pick up from where you left... :twilightsmile:

... this can't be complete! It would just be... *checks tags*

Oh, you meant for us to feel sad! ... you monster. :fluttercry:

Complete?! What a tease!

ummm TA-DAA?! Is it suppose to cut off there?

Well crafted - but I have to agree, this is not a complete story.

unfinished, short, character development and story of 40k words worth packened into maybe 500 (rest was dialogue), used sad tag wrong...

but at least not (much) ooc

:facehoof: downvote

Oh that is so mean to just leave this like this! More!

...this isn't complete you magnificent bastard.

Discolight adventure... And go:rainbowkiss:

Not bad... u better finish this though... it doesn't seem to be finished at all.:derpytongue2::applejackunsure:

Damn, really good but it doesn't seem finished by a long shot.

I am going to favorite this only because I expect that complete tag to either include more chapters, or change to incomplete :derpytongue2:

Err, no, this is complete. An ambiguous ending is one possible choice, and I think that's one the author made.

CDR

I like this. I like this a lot. We are all waiting.

I think I have to toss in my vote with the rest of equestria.... where is the rest if this is complete?

To quote Marvin the Martian: "Where is the Kaboom? Where is the earth shattering kaboom?"

This was an interesting if melancholy idea. I quite understand why you left off where you did but still judging by the reactions most are posting those reasons don't sit too well with most.

If this were just an exercise in creative writing I would say you succeeded 100%, however as a story there was too little time spent developing both the setting and the character of Twilight. While the reason for her sadness is quite understandable given the scant details we are given I can't help but feel that this does not really warrant the sad tag simply because of the aforementioned lack of time spent really developing things.

Heading off any arguments about how you were going for a minimalist approach I can't help but feel that you would have been better of forgoing that if you really wanted us to attach ourselves and feel emotionally invested in the characters and setting. Minimalism is very hard to pull off well and I'm sorry to say that here you did a merely average job.

All is not doom and gloom though. I didn't have any problems understanding exactly what was going on, there were no major spelling or grammar mistakes that I noticed. Twilight was perfectly in character for the most part. Discord on the other hand probably could have used a bit more convincing, he caved in my personal opinion far too quickly. I loved the bits about how big spike had gotten and Twilight's adorable defensiveness regarding the size of her book collection.

Overall? I'd give this a 3/5.

as much as i would like to thumbs up and fav...i cant...im not saying i dislike it...contrary actually...i really do like what i read...but with the "end" just dropping off like that...idk...it could, and should be expanded...otherwise...its good stuff...and if you dont expand it...thanks for the quick and interesting read anyway

The fuck?

Complete my ass.

I love the open ending. It allows the mind to wander. Also, I think that Discord's thoughts were well-done. He would not normally be called upon to perform chaotic acts upon command, as that in itself would not be chaotic. Perhaps the chaos that both Twilight and Discord have manifested lends itself to the ending.

Just a thought, mind you. :twilightsheepish:

Tracking Favoriting because there is no way that this is complete.
And if it is, then when will the sequel be out?
You can't just do that. You can't. You can- and you did- but that's just a dick move invented by who knows which author.

1688208 Yeah, you didn't even *start* the obvious zombie apocalypse. :derpytongue2:

Heh. Well, good story and an interesting take on what Twilight would be like 1000 years from now. But there's still a lot left untold- not just in terms of her powers and such, but how she's changed personally. I can certainly see her freeing Discord after a while if she thought she could handle him. Twilight is a fairly ambitious creature by nature and not averse to taking a few risks. And as said, old enemies are better than nothing.

That's where you end it. Right there. Good. Don't listen to these idiots, they don't know where to end a story. This is perfect.

1688499

"Discolight?" What about twicord...er.

(sorry)

The complete tag confuses and enrages me. :twilightangry2:

While this ending does mean it acquires a "sad" tag for simply not knowing, I have to agree this feels like it's not complete to me.

It has to go wrong, go right but with ironic consequences, or something. It can't just END, there's no climax at all.

I'm not going to downvote this because it's very well written and definitely does deserve an upvote, but I'm not upvoting it until it's actually complete.

I loved this. I want more. It looks like there could be more added.

More? Please? :fluttershysad:

Watched and favorited. Of course...you already knew that. Didn't you? :ajsmug:

"Can't... Hold... On... Much... Longer!"

Complete? Thats ridiculous.

Yep, it's complete. It covered everything I wanted it to, hit all the points I felt it needed to, and intentionally ended with no resolution.

i.imgur.com/R8hbl.jpg

We want more, this is too good to be a one-shot and doesn't seem complete at all.Dont want to seem forceful, but seriously, its not done.

You know, every pony, this is why this is fanfiction; we could just gain the authors permission to create another chapter, or some story prequel so that this story feels more complete. This is the difference between the fat trolls and the fit innovators; trolls just complain about stuff, while the fanfiction writers do stuff.

I am holding my thumb up hostage until you write another chapter :derpytongue2: JK

Meh, I'll bite.

You made this ambiguous on purpose, didn't you?!

...fucking tease.

1693150 Well if that is the case then I can't like it. You've made so many questions and answered zero. You should have at least had Pinkie start to move and maybe her first words being something about Chocolate Rain but ending like this makes the story pointless.

Besides. why not write more. You've setup a really easy story to write for yourself with lots of questions that you can answer and people who are willing to read it.

1695483 - This is fanfiction, we don't need his permission. Someone could write a chapter 2 and post it as it's own story. Hell, half a dozen people could write their own chapter 2s.

1700508 (Obsidian)

But at least you get my point, right?

Even though it is The End, it isn't really...

the end. :raritywink:

1700752 - Yea, I get it, still I can claim to be unsatisfied. The author built up a fairly interesting universe with but a brief handful of words, but then just dropped it, abruptly. Even if someone else takes up the mantle, it's not quite the same.

Complete? Why you little...
All that world-building, all that character interaction, all the build-up this spell got to RAISE THE DEAD, and you're just going to leave it like that?
YOU EVIL!!!

1700247

All right, let me ask you this: why do you think I wrote this, and posted it in its current, completed state?

Excellent fic- and unlike many of the previous reviewers opinions, an excellent ending. (Course, it gives a different perspective if you are an author yourself!)

While i hate stories wit hno ...ending but the point of a story is the journy while i hated some shows for never giving me a ending, I've still loved those shows, AND YOU SIR! are the fisrt story I can read and say i honestly like it even without a bit of a drawn out part of it, Loved this story wish it had a ending but you have a perfectly acceptible point and i want to kill you for it :rainbowlaugh: keep going strong and wish you luck on future works.

Gentle breeze guide you home, a warm smile to welcome your return. :twilightsmile:
I do hope you one day make further use on the consept you made here today am sure someone else will try but, i doubt it will be as good as the original idea. Its your story and your right your choice. :fluttercry: even thoguh am sad about it Keep going strogn and joy be your path. :twilightblush:

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