• Member Since 4th May, 2013
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Estee


On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)

T

There are six pony virtues. Six. And fortunately for the pickup artists, confidence stallions, and desperate of the world, there's also a lot of sapients who can't count that high. Princess Luna's Return produced a few side effects, and one of the more consistently annoying is a never-ending parade of those who claim to be the hitherto-unknown virtue of This Is Worth Some Free Drinks. Others take it further.

Division Seven is an international, multispecies effort, created in an attempt to find and discipline those charlatans. And ideally, to do so before something... happens.

The planet has strange ways of reacting to the presence of true Bearers.

Imagine how it might deal with some of the fakes...


(Now with author Patreon, SubscribeStar, and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art created by RamblingWriter.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 58 )

There actually is a Seventh Virtue. It just doesn't have a bearer, because the crushing burden of Putting Up With Your Friend's Shit is shared between the other six Virtues.

Added to
Triptych Continuum Rebooted (group)
Unassigned (folder)

:trollestia:

Cassandra feels pity for all those who think they're the real Seventh Element of Harmony.

Then one of them asked them what he was doing there. Who he was . And the small stallion tried to think of somepony he could be. A pony whom large, distrustful locals would never, ever hurt.

Him

:flutterrage:

Of course Eeyours goes for concrete brutalist architecture. It’s sturdy and depressing. Perfect!

I just finished reading this and couldn't help but chuckle from beginning to end. For me in particular the behavior of the ponies of Drayton reminded me oh so close in spirit to certain people I know outside of the pages of fiction. Which made it all the funnier.

I shall be watching this with great interest as the premise alone practically invites fun and interesting stories.

11787307
:moustache: Damn right. And I don't get paid enough to deal with their shit.

"It should be something we can all do," she considered as dark eyes regarded the two bound pegasi with open sympathy. "Eyebrow-raising contest?"

:rainbowlaugh: :yay:

11787517
Yes.

Let's just hope the necklace doesn't have to be removed as... explosively as the inspiration's ring was.

Still, always warms my heart to see a good Sir Pterry reference.

Hey!
I know My element is weird and all but faust had it and The tree gave it to me after i replanted it!

11787188
That and also empathy/forgiveness is sunset's and the tree didn't give her one

I honestly never even thought of this benign a problem, but now that there is a story about it, it makes so much sense! I really can’t wait to see where this goes :pinkiehappy:

For the repeat offenders, I wonder if the DV7 has pointed out that claiming to be a "seventh bearer" can attract attention form the Bearers enemies ... like Chrysalis, and from their "friends" ... like Discord?

Oh, this is going to be glorious. Looking forward to further disasterpieces from this world's most unfortunate OCs.

(And after seeing Drayton, I wonder how they would react if they ever learned that Fleur claimed to be from there.)

"We must declare war on Equestria."
"But we can never win such a war!"
"Of course not, but we could win the peace. I've given this a lot of thought gentlestallions and I'm perfectly positive that I am right. You must remember, Equestrians are very strange ponies. Whereas other countries rarely forgive anything, Equestrians forgive anything. There isn't a more profitable undertaking for any country than to declare war on Equestria and to be defeated."

Oh my, if Carmina's not scared straight by this, well, she'd have to believe it first, and she might.

Dang, the irony, or something. Wander just wanted to not be hurt, but then his lie got him very, very hurt. :applecry:

"I did say 'everyone' back there."

Minor error: he said ‘anyone’.
Love the idea! It’s like Jury Duty, a cute little story that can keep on giving.

This is such an enjoyable read so far! Looking forward to future chapters :)

Someone has a GRUDGE against small towns, and I feel it's for entirely good reasons.

11788219 "But what if we win anyway?"
"Oh, that could never happen."

There actually is a Seventh Element. It's Humility. Nopony has ever been able to find her (or him) because if asked, the ones who say no obviously aren't it, and the ones that say yes are obviously not it. Which is perfectly fine with Humility.

Did Fluttershy seriously steal someone else's birds? :pinkiegasp:
......
You know, now that I'm saying that out loud....were these birds sick, by any chance? :facehoof:

:pinkiegasp:

Also--

They call themselves Element-Bearers Dark, of all things.

I am so curious right now :pinkiecrazy:

and the joy in crafting lies was essentially built into his psyche.

I hope a potted plant falls on your head, buddy -_-

The stallion, when in the presence of all but one other, didn't really see ponies. He didn't truly recognize griffons, zebras, donkeys, or any of the other sapients as sapients. At best, they were sheep. There was an obligation for the only two real people in the world to conduct regular shearing sessions. And once the wool grew back, you returned to do it again.

I LOATHE this guy already 😡

"Because who can you trust more than the Bearers, customer o' mi --"

You-! :pinkiegasp::facehoof: No wonder I hate this guy's guts!

"What is your desire, master?" in a truly friendly way.

Oh my God :ajbemused::pinkiesick:

I just looked up what 'parsimony' means. Aside from Starlight during her cult-leader days, these are the only two unicorns I've ever wanted to punch in the face.

then there was a certain pleasure in taking it from the sheep who kept kicking you --

Well f*** you too, jerk >_<

GO TWILIGHT! :pinkiehappy: (I thought it'd be a reformed Trixie for a second, but this was badass.)

Flim and Flam in your 'verse are scary in how they view everycreature. It makes me feel both pity and anger towards them, though the anger is a lot more prevalent. Con artists are creeps, imho, and I do love seeing them get their just desserts :twilightsmile:

I'm not sure exactly which aspects make your writing style so unusually delightful, but they do. Maybe the answer will come to me later.

Poor Rarity…. At least her fabric and her reputation were recoverable after the attempts by these latest phonies.

Damn Flim Flam Brothers. You guys are screwed now. Hahaha.

Flim and Flam are a pair of narcissistic sociopaths -- why am I not surprised. I suppose the only reasons they don't go around killing the "sheep" is A) it prevents you from "shearing" them again and B) it would take more energy than F&F are willing to invest.

Let's see. That's 2 cartoons + (3?) times in the Continuum. Damn, the jail system in EQ is lamer than Arkham Asylum.

:trollestia:

Good humorous ending! Nice incorporation of Shelf-mare! That editor's gonna have an interesting paper to edit / write!

...

"And I'm saying that as a mare who had to do a lot of studying for an accent."

Indeed! How close did she get to the real?

...
Typo:
The mod nearly lost her a few times, > The mob nearly lost her a few times,

Mmm, Element Bearers Dark. Now with almonds! (I can only imagine how Rarity may react if she ever hears about that chapter's farce. To say nothing of how Trottingham may react to her.)

In any case, yeah, not surprising that the brothers would try to pull this particular con once word had sufficiently spread. Learning from friends may not be an option for them, but after a few kicking sessions, I'd expect them to learn a little from their enemies. But that would mean recognizing them as something other than walking wallets, and that may forever be a leap too far for them.

"personality traits were a major factor in magic"

Oh. Huh.

...
Based on personal experience, it preferred to initially strike with the powerful right hind leg.

:ajsmug:

...

Smoke and "master"...

Ooh, Genie scam! Huh.

...

minor smidgen of irony

Heh. Smidgen is a coin.

...

(Seriously, setting up a trot-by opportunity meant she'd practically wanted them to have the golden fabric.)


Yep, thought it was her.

...

Think horses not zebras. mmm

...

Ah. Magic to track down stuff is real useful! Yay for fabric!

I always found your interpretation of the scamming Brothers to be interesting in the way they are so fundamentally broken and mentally ill. They can't help themselves, stop or even learn from their failures. Stories involving them or their POV are very informative because a lot of the scams we see in your stories have basis in reality.

since when are Flim and Flam "metallic" ponies?
or was that part of their disguise?

It's probably not a good idea to impersonate or steal from a mare that while has absolutely average field strength can and will use that strength to hold dozens of pointy needles and will go for the eyes because someone has besmirched her reputation.

And she is definitely the type to hold a grudge.

11948253
Any grifter with a modicum of experience knows the tale of the Golden Goose.

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