If there's a holiday, then somepony's probably overdecorated for it. The Greening has seen entire homes blend into the local grass, while Lambvent shrouds neighborhoods in wool and Hearth's Warming traditionally welcomes guests into homes through making it impossible to see where the front door is. But if Ponyville's going to get dressed up anyway, then Town Hall might as well have a little contest built around it. The mayor signed off on that.
Which meant there was a period of at least two seconds in which Marigold Mare completely forgot her town hosts the Bearers -- and that she'd just given them a reason to compete against each other.
Shall we count down to the inevitable one home visit at a time? In six, five, four, three...
(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)
Rated C for they don't celebrate Christmas Crackfic.
I love that the train starts crashing in the first sentance. Waste no time, that's what I always say!
Posted in
Triptych Continuum Rebooted (group)
Cracfic (folder)
There is a logical extension of this, of course.
Twilight Sparkle was not a morning pony. This morning was no exception. Yesterday had been quite strenuous, and the library was just going to open a few minutes late. Or an hour.
That was until she heard the knock at the tree.
Not at the door. The tree.
Magenta magic fumbled around the bedroom curtains until she found the pull and gave it a sharp yank so she could see out the window. Unfortunately, all she could see was one huge yellow eye with a slit pupil and a general expression of minor malice.
“Pardon me,” rumbled a voice like an impending thunderstorm. “Is this the residence of the Librarian who withdrew the Stones of Ownership from the pony princess castle, where they had been stored according to the Treaty of the Many Broken Fangs and We Won’t Do That Again?”
Twilight had to do something, and she decided nodding was far better than trying to find any words.
“The Stones which were activated yesterday and placed in accordance with the aforementioned treaty to define a new dragon-owned territory for the Dragonlord to portion out to worthy individuals?”
“I activated—” It was all Twilight could say at the moment as the cascade of consequences began to filter down from the top of her mind like snow, freezing her normally acute thought process.
“Good.” The immense draconic eye looked around Twilight’s room. “Nice tree. How much is my new hoard worth? Round figures, of course.”
What is a fascise?
You really, really shouldn't try an indirect approach when you want to get the Bearers to Just Stop.
Perhaps they should resettle the R Lee Ermey pony in Ponyville and have him do the job.
When you started describing the display at Fluttershy's place, my immediate notion was that she'd asked Discord for help. Indeed, I'm not entirely sure that she isn't lying when she told the mayor she got by with more mundane help: with all our technology, we've only very recently been able to capture and keep alive in captivity genuinely deep sea fish (and some deep sea species literally fall apart under more normal pressures. )
(But this is a crackfic. I am undoubtedly overthinking it.)
I wonder when the girls will figure out they can just hold the Equestrian kingdom hostage by just threatening moving to six seperate towns or more importantly just telling Celestia 'No'. Because they should be able to have some fun!
That was a magnificent train wreck of magic, friendship and ingenuity. So much innovation only to explode spectacularly at the end.
Only Estee get that right blend.
Interested in learning more about the Ill-Advised Crossbreed Council. Feels like there is a story to make with that, like about some of the case they deal with or the place they store all the experiments for testing. I picture many thick walls and gardens that look like prison cells
. . Maybe Applejack trying to regain possession of her Winter Zap-Apple could be a fun story.
Oh gawds.
They built HEX.
Then used the Doctors trans reality phone call.
Thank goodness te thing failed to work and went off like adamp quib.
They almost created The Eye Of Horus.
I will allow that outright banning gambling (and, as a consequence, betting) in Ponyville would make Mayor Mare's subsequent career likely to be short, but surely she could win over many minds (and votes) by insisting on the practice being both heavily taxed and fully insured in advance?
Which is kind of why when Foal Services comes sniffing around, the only Equestrian somepony with lazy eye wants to see has scales. He isn't even part way an idiot, let alone a complete one.
The only real teacher they might end up having is an equinoid abomination.
Given how fast AJ whipped up those trees, I'm beginning to think the wild zones aren't entirely big D's fault...
Taupe is a rather boring color.
I knew that was important, but didn't figure out how, until it all came together!
...
Poor Cloudchaser!
...
I thought somehow Twilight was buying regular things and having them delivered to Spike, with the giant green flame, but no! Much worse for the town!
----
Typo:
too close anything > too close to anything
If the Sun gets jealous, then Oppenpony is right, the super balefire bomb is too dangerous for all ponykind
That was a good story.
How many favours was Fluutershy owed again ?
Because her display seemed to be the most intensive and difficult, even beating Applejack's tree breeding.
Custom water tanks... bioluminescence... and one small leak or mass distribution error can crash the whole thing.
It seems that Rainbow isn't the only one who used WIS as her dump stat, though hers is still probably the dumpiest. The other five mares all seem to have done so as well. Spike is the only one who even seems to scrape average on that stat, and he'll have a pretty good one once he becomes an adult.
All six mares are basically idiot savants, each in different ways. Taken singly, Rainbow is probably the worst culprit, but I'm wondering which combination of two or combination of three would be the most dangerous. And the combos for two and for three may be disjoint sets.
This was fun!
So what's Tyre like in Menajeria?
I think that should be "black dragonfish."
Anyhow, a very amusing story. Thank you, and I hope you had a pleasant Christmas.
Meanwhile in Ponyville, Filthy Rich, who first suggested the lights festival in order to sell glowbulbs, is extraordinarily happy to have finally found a proper way of thanking Discord for saving his daughter's life.
The uptick in out-of-season sales of Sunglasses didn't hurt things either.
Funny how that works. At least nopony tried to shoot at a missing scale during Spike's greed growth incident.
Lovely example of seasonal madness and the unfortunate tendency of Harmony to produce miracles when united, even when nothing particularly needs a miracle at the moment. Thank you for it.
11783766
I'm still waiting for the six of them to do something so astoundingly, hilariously, dangerously stupid that they power up the Elements to try to fix it, and then the rainbow beam shoots up, loops around, and slams right into the six. Spike is untouched.
Wow. So, this whole trainwreck culminated in a light show so spectacular, the SUN was jealous.
MATH TIME!!!
Solar luminosity is 3.8E26 W. Let's assume that Equus's Sun is scaled down to the same size and orbital distance as its Moon, which for Earth would be a factor of 400, with the luminosity being reduced by a factor of 160,000 in accordance with the inverse-square law (same temperature and surface brightness, smaller surface). To make the comparison more direct, let's constrain this analysis to the visible spectrum only, which comprises about 42% of the Sun's radiation. Putting it all together, we can roughly estimate that Celestia's Sun emits 1E21 W in the visible spectrum. To put that number into perspective, 1E21 joules (1 W = 1 J/s) is 4,000 times the total energy released by the Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear device ever detonated (57 megatons TNT equivalent), which shattered windows hundreds of miles away and produced a mushroom cloud 67 km high.
And the Bearers' shenanigans made it JEALOUS.
Even if we are extremely generous and assume Sun is only comparing this light show to the tiny fraction of its light that actually reaches the planet (about 3/10,000), we're still left to conclude that the Golden Oaks Library, in that one moment, produced enough energy to glass the entire Everfree Forest. Literally their only saving grace was that all of this energy was in the form of visible light, the photons of which are not energetic enough to cause significant damage on their own, but even that doesn't account for the heat that would be generated as some fraction of that light is absorbed by everything in the area, which would almost certainly lead to autoignition of any unshielded organic matter unfortunate enough to be nearby.
Marigold has every right to be peeved right now.
11783922
Given how much more dumb stuff the girls get into in Estee's stories compared to the show, I think it's only a matter of time before that happens. And it will be glorious to watch.
As soon as the Mayor's speech to Fluttershy was revealed, I knew what the Six of them were going to do, but it was still funny!
BUT! Rainbow's last line? It was SO Rainbow I almost pissed myself laughing...
Thank you for one of the best laughs I've had all year.
Calling it, they put all of their ideas together.
11782793] Agreed.
Harmony dang it, Rainbow
This is a delightful look at Mayor Mare. Though as soon as I learned what she said to them I knew the hilarious train crash this was headed towards.
11805142
Same here. Once I read what she said, I was able to guess how the Bearers interpreted it. I just didn't foresee the way that things went Completely Wrong.
Did Spikes common sense take a short holiday in this? With how he is normally portrayed in your stories, it feels like he should have seen this coming from a mile away and gently shut the girls down, before it could escalate to gigantic flashbang state.
11782493
My impression of TC so far is that if they were like that, they wouldn't be Element Bearers in the first place.