Potty Training Tales

by SuperPinkBrony12

The Bathroom Brigade (Royal Guards)

Author's Note:

Tags: [Comedy] [Slice of Life] [Alternative Universe] [Dark]
Characters: [Royal Guard] [Princess Celestia] [Princess Luna] [Shining Armor] [OC]
Written By: Foal Star
Note: Takes place within Foal Star’s age regression AU, the royal guards featured here are his own creations, as are the OCs.

At long last, after so many crazy ups and downs involving a foal pandemic and a chaotic royal wedding, things were starting to go back to normal in Equestria. No more unexpected ponies were regressing into foals, ponies could go about their days (and nights) without worrying that they might suddenly be shrunken in stature and diaper dependent.

In fact, this new status quo allowed for a trio of royal guards who had been the first victims of the unofficial “foal pandemic” to undergo a long overdue (for them) development. Bucket Bridle, Cannon Feather and Bright Wing were now finally ready to seriously commit to potty training and ditch their diapers.

Of course, since each regressed royal guard had been adopted by a different pony, each of their training efforts was different. Each adoptive parent had a different idea about how best to approach the training for their little one.

For Princess Celestia, she was overjoyed at the prospect of finally getting to teach Bucket Bridle about the potty. Or rather re-teach him in this case. She’d always felt like a mother at heart, and caring for Bucket Bridle up to this point had filled that void in her heart that she’d been concerned would never be filled again now that Twilight, Luna and Cadence were all grown up (she hadn’t heard from Sunset Shimmer in years but assumed that the mare had probably grown up as well).

So the princess made sure to teleport straight to her son’s nursery after raising the sun one morning. And in contrast to the usual reserved nature she displayed around her subjects in public, Celestia was so excited she felt like a giddy school filly. “Oh, I can’t believe today is finally the day! Oh, I’ve been looking forward to doing this with Bucket Bridle for so long!” She exclaimed, and then trotted over to the small bed her son slept in.

By now, Bucket Bridle had woken up. And he looked up at his adoptive mother with a big smile on his face. “Morning, Mommy!” He cheerfully greeted.

“Good morning, Bucket Bridle!” The sun princess cooed as she tried to maintain her motherly composure. “How’s your diaper?”

“All nice and clean, Mommy!” Bucket Bridle proclaimed as he proudly presented his pristine padded plot. “See?” A quick inspection confirmed that indeed the diaper was clean: No wet spots or dirt stains, and no odors. It was as white as Celestia’s coat itself.

Celestia patted her son’s head. “Great job, Bucket Bridle! That’s just what I like to see!” She then began to break out into a big smile as she asked him. “You know what’s coming next, right?”

Bucket Bridle nodded. “Uh-huh. Me gotta use the potty.”

“Correct!” Princess Celestia declared as she picked her son up with her magic and carried him across the nursery to the adjacent bathroom. “And since you’re getting to be such a big boy, I have an extra special surprise for you: You get to use the big pony potty, or the toilet.”

Bucket Bridle bounced up and down while he was held in his mom’s magical glow! “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Me can’t wait! Bright Wing and Cannon Feather gonna be so jealous!”

Celestia smiled even while she gently corrected her son. “Now now, Bucket Bridle. It’s not a race or a competition. Don’t forget that using any potty but especially the big potty is a privilege, not a right. You have to prove you can use it properly and when expected to,” Then she brought the little colt into the bathroom and set him upon the floor. “Now, let us begin. Don’t worry, I’m right here if you need my help.”

Bucket Bridle’s eyes soon fell upon the toilet in the bathroom, and when they did he noticed something rather odd about it. It not only had the same gleaming white color as his mom’s coat, but it also strangely enough sported huge wings and a huge horn just like the ones his mom had. Heck, it even seemed to have a crown placed atop its tank. “Mama?” He asked her as he tried to keep from laughing. “Why does big potty look so much like you?”

The sun princess’s face broke out into a raging blush as she sheepishly responded. “Well, someponies like to call the toilet the porcelain throne. And someponies take it a step further and refer to it as a porcelain me. I guess it makes them feel more important. When I heard about it, I figured it wouldn’t hurt if I ‘modified’ my toilet to look more like myself when you use it. That way, your first potty time on the big potty will truly be special. It’s a throne fit for the son of royalty.”

“Ya sure it safe?” Bucket Bridle asked as he eyed the modified porcelain contraption, almost as if he thought it might come to life or something.

Having by now regained her composure, Celestia firmly nodded her head. “Of course I’m sure,” And using her horn, she removed her son’s diaper and set it aside. “I even got a special seat just for you. It’ll make using the toilet much easier.”

Sure enough, as Bucket Bridle trotted closer to the toilet, he could see that a plastic seat had been placed upon it. It was finely decorated, golden trim with a lush, red color and royal symbology printed all over it. Definitely a seat meant for royalty, not just for any old foal.

Though still a bit hesitant, the foal tried to jump up and grab the seat so he could get into position. Alas, he wasn’t quite tall enough or strong enough to reach the seat. It kept slipping out of his grasp.

Princess Celestia chuckled a bit as she used her magic to gently float her son onto the seat. “You’ll get it eventually when you’re a bit bigger, Bucket Bridle. Now just get comfortable, and if you have to do anything just do it.”

---

Bucket Bridle carefully sat down as he watched his mom turn her head. Despite this, it felt like she was still watching him from the way the toilet looked. Heck, it even seemed to have that warm, gentle and comforting feeling to it that his mom always exuded. It was almost like she was telling him. “I’ve got you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’ll always be here for you.”

And perhaps it was because of that that Bucket Bridle found him relaxing. His body seemed to operate almost on instinct. Soon, he felt satisfied that he’d concluded his business and couldn’t help but exclaim! “I did it!”

Celestia only smiled as she turned back around, using her magic to pull off a few rolls of toilet paper. “Well done, Bucket Bridle! See how easy that was?”

“Uh-huh!” Bucket Bridle nodded as his rump was wiped clean. “Me can’t wait to do it again!”

The sun princess then deposited the used toilet paper rolls in the toilet bowl and said to her son. “Go ahead and flush it. I’ll make sure you don’t fall in.”

So Bucket Bridle carefully stood up, the foal making his way towards the toilet handle as he used his wings to give himself a little bit more balance. At last, he grabbed the edge of the handle and forced it down.

At that moment, something most unexpected happened! The toilet’s wings began to flap, and it became dislodged from its place on the ground! It started to fly, and an unsuspecting Bucket Bridle was along for the ride! Meanwhile, the toilet simply used its horn, and everything that went down the drain poofed into the pipes instead of hitting the ground.

“Mommy! Help!” Bucket Bridle called as he desperately clung to the side of the toilet for dear life, all the while the porcelain throne flew all about in a way that shouldn’t have been possible!

Immediately, Princess Celestia sprung into action as she unfolded her own wings and flapped them furiously! Soon, she was in the air, all but touching the ceiling of the bathroom. “Enough!” She cried out as she lit up her horn, concentrating its magic on the flying toilet that held her son captive! Suddenly, with a poof, the wings, horn and crown all vanished. The toilet had retuned to normal.

With a great deal of straining, Celestia delicately brought the toilet back down and back into the position it always occupied. The drain was now connected to the pipes again. Then she lowered her still frightened son down from the seat. “Bucket Bridle, I am so sorry about that,” She apologized. “I guess I didn’t take into account the powerful magic I used to make the toilet look like me. I promise, I won’t do that ever again.”

“It’s okay, Mommy,” Bucket Bridle chirped as he gently reassured her. “Ya just trying to help me go potty. And me did do it!” He puffed out his chest! “Now me big colt, right?”

“Not necessarily,” Celestia cooed as she put her son’s diaper back on. “You’ve taken a step in the right direction, but potty training isn’t something you learn in a day. It takes months of doing what you did today to become a big colt. And it’s just as much a case of learning when you have to go and when you don’t, as it is actually making it to the potty when you do.”

Bucket Bridle frowned. “So, me not get to wear pull-ups?”

The sun princess put a hoof to her chin. “Well, I’ll think about it. Maybe if you can go a week without doing number one or number two in your diapers, we can see about getting you some pull-ups to try,” Then she declared. “But first, let’s wash our hooves.”

---

That very same night, as Princess Celestia was tucking Bucket Bridle into bed (after inspecting his diaper and finding it still dry and clean), Princess Luna was busy doing what she always did at this time: Patrolling the dream realm.

In particular, the dream of one little colt demanded her attention. The dream of her son, Cannon Feather. And it seemed it had something to do with what he was going through in the waking world.

Two very familiar looking pegasus ponies, one with a golden coat and the other with a silver one were leading a rather frightened Cannon Feather along. And the little one was wearing nothing but an oversized, fancy diaper that looked like it could barely hold anything at all.

Gold Wing seemed to be smirking as he told Cannon Feather. “We’re almost there, Cannon Feather. You can hold it for just a few more seconds, can’t you?”

“No! Don’t wanna!” Cannon Feather protested as he kicked and screamed, but to no avail as he was brought closer and closer to an ominous looking door at the end of a long, unlit hallway.

“Oh come on,” Silver Wing groaned and rolled her eyes. “Your uncle and I are tired of changing your dirty diapers all the time. We both agree that you need to start using…” The next words out of her mouth seemed to take on an ominous echo. “The chair!”

“No! No! Not the chair! Anything but the chair!” Cannon Feather pleaded in vain as the two older pegasi led him straight through the door that had “The Chair” written on it. It opened with a creak, and light briefly flooded the foal’s vision. When he could see again, he saw a truly massive throne style toilet resting just up at the top of some steps. Instead of a handle, there was a pull chain off to the left hoof side next to a plunger. The pipes beneath the drain were clearly visible, and it was even possible to see through them.

Gold Wing and Silver Wing carried a squirming, crying Cannon Feather up the steps as they tossed aside his diaper without a care. Together, they threw him onto the toilet seat without bothering to see if he would land on it, or fall right into the bowl.

Cannon Feather just barely made it onto the seat, and try as he might he found that he couldn’t get off said seat no matter what he did. “Please, I sorry!” He pleaded to his aunt and uncle! “Don’t do it! I too young to go!”

“Not anymore, you little twerp!” Gold Wing coldly hissed. “You’ve been nothing but a pain in the rump from the day you showed up at your Aunt Silver Wing and I’s doorstep.”

Silver Wing, meanwhile, had made her over to the left hoof side and had grabbed the massive pull chain with her hoof. “Everypony has to go someday!” She replied with a cruel indifference to her nephew’s clear discomfort. “And it’s your time to go, Cannon Feather! Goodbye!” Then she yanked the chain down as hard as she could!

“No! NO!” Cannon Feather screamed, but it was no use! The toilet roared to life with a mighty “Fwoosh!”, and a stream of water shot up from the bowl, blasting Cannon Feather high into the air! He tried in vain to fly, as the water quickly receded and he followed. He fell into the bowl, straight down the drain and into the pipes as his aunt and uncle just looked on and grinned, waving goodbye to him.

“Well, that’s one less turd to deal with!” Silver Wing replied as she watched her nephew disappear down the drain, through the pipes and into the trap where he disappeared completely from sight. The screams stopped as watery gurgles briefly fluttered up through the drain and were then silenced.

Gold Wing, meanwhile, kicked the discarded diaper as he and Silver Wing headed down the steps. “Honestly, a sewer rat like him is better off down the drain anyway.” And without another word they left the room as the giant toilet’s flush cycle finally completed itself. Cannon Feather was nowhere to be seen.

---

Princess Luna had seen more than enough! “ENOUGH!” She cried out in her Royal Canterlot voice as she immediately moved to dispel the dream scape and comfort her son! “It’s okay, Cannon Feather! Mommy’s here for you now.” She gently called.

Cannon Feather was greatly relieved to see his mother. But even so the memory of what he’d just endured in the dream was too much. He welled up with tears and ran straight to her while crying! “Mommy! It so scary!”

“I know, my son. I know,” Luna gently reached out a hoof to stroke him and calm him down. “Potty training can indeed be a frightening experience for little ones. And I know you’ve had a lot of bad experiences with toilets, experiences that no colt your age should have to endure. But I promise you, I won’t ever let you go down the drain again.”

“Ya really mean it?” Cannon Feather sniffled.

The moon princess firmly nodded. “Indeed. Besides, I think you’re getting too big to fit down it anyway. And I don’t foresee any more of your friends needing to be rescued from the drain either,” She then spoke in a comforting and reassuring tone. “Now come on. Dry those tears. You wanna be a big colt like your fellow guards, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Cannon Feather nodded back. “Wanna be like Bucket Bridle and Bright Wing, they not afraid of the big potty!”

“Oh, I’ll bet they probably are, even if they won’t admit it,” Luna said with a wink. “And the only way to overcome your fear is to face it, not let it control you. You know what that means.”

Cannon Feather nearly gasped! “We gonna…?”

The night princess smiled as she began to light up her horn. “We probably should’ve taken care of this before you went to bed. But better late than never.”

A moment later, Cannon Feather woke with a start and saw none other than his mother standing by the side of his bed. “Welcome back to the waking world, my son. Don’t worry, I already checked your diaper. You didn’t have an accident, despite the nightmare. And accidents are nothing to be afraid of, they are natural even among foals your age from time to time.”

Cannon Feather was nevertheless greatly relieved to be helped out of bed and led along by his adoptive mother. He always felt safer with her around, especially at night when everything was so big and scary (at least in his eyes).

Mother and son soon reached the bathroom, which had undergone a bit of a transformation from when Cannon Feather had seen it last.

A big blue toilet the same color as his mother’s coat greeted him, along with was a plastic toddler seat that looked like it resembled the surface of the moon. The lights were dimmed, and all around him he could see a very particular flower hanging down from above.

Luna explained as she brought her son close to the toilet. “I’m still not exactly thrilled that my sister gets a normal looking toilet, but I have to make do with this one. But for your sake, I figured you’d be more comfortable with it rather than any of the castle’s other toilets. Naturally, it only seemed fitting to have a toilet seat that was like the moon.”

“And ta flowers?” Cannon Feather asked as he had his diaper removed and he was gently floated up onto the seat.

“Lavender is know to emit a very calming scent, to aid in a good night’s rest,” The night princess told her son. “It should help put you at ease. Just relax and don’t wiggle around too much, and you’ll be perfectly fine. Something tells me that your aunt and uncle were nowhere near as gentle as this when they trained you.”

Cannon Feather shook his head. “Nu-uh, they just hire a nanny to do it. And every time me had an accident they would punish me.”

Luna frowned at that notion. “That is an absolutely horrible way to handle something as delicate as potty training. I assure you, I will never punish you for your accidents. And as you’ve seen, I will always be here to help you any time of day or night.”

The foal soon relaxed and did what he had to do, greatly relieved he had done it in the toilet instead of his diaper. “Wow, tat was easy!” He exclaimed!

A smile formed on Princess Luna’s face as she brought over some toilet paper to wipe her son’s bottom. “Indeed it was, Cannon Feather. And don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, that’s what my sister and I are here for, as are the castle staff,” She then warned. “But don’t take your training for granted, child. I may not punish you for accidents, but I still expect you to make an honest commitment to your training. If you want my help, you have to promise me you’ll always try to make it to the bathroom if you have to go. And that you won’t make a fuss whenever potty time comes along.”

“Okay, Mama,” Cannon Feather agreed with a nod. “Me promise to be good.”

The alicorn with a dark blue coat smiled anew. “I’m sure you will, my son,” And she was quick to coo. “Oh, just wait until my sister sees how big you’re getting. Maybe she’ll agree with me that you’re ready for pull-ups.”

---

In between Celestia helping Bucket Bridle in the morning and Princess Luna helping Cannon Feather at night, miles away in the Crystal Empire, Bright Wing was undergoing his very own potty training attempt.

“Wow!” Bright Wing exclaimed in disbelief as he entered the bathroom with his father not too far behind. “Everyting’s made of crystal! Even the big potty!” And he was right, the Crystal Empire’s bathroom had plumbing fixtures made out of solid crystal (though thankfully the water flowing from them was still natural instead of being solid).

Shining Armor couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, I could hardly believe it myself when I first saw it. But crystal or not, it’s still a toilet. And a toilet is only ever used for one thing.”

Bright Wing was ecstatic! “Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Ya the best, Daddy! Me gonna master potty training!”

Shining grinned. His son’s enthusiasm was adorable if nothing else. “I’m sure you will, my son. But don’t get ahead of yourself. This isn’t a race. In fact, if you try to rush it you’ll make a mistake. You might have an accident, or worse.”

“But ya won’t let me go down the drain,” Bright Wing retorted. “Me not gonna be like Cannon Feather. Me gonna be better than even Bucket Bridle!”

“Not if you keep acting like that,” The stallion replied with a wink. “Cadence thinks I’m rushing things by trying to train you so soon after our move here. And normally I’d be inclined to agree with her, seeing as she is the foalsitting expert. But you’re part of the Sparkle family now, and that means we do things the Sparkle way. As my mother can vouch, those methods work wonders. Probably helped that Twily was so well read on the subject, she could’ve practically run her training all by herself if she’d wanted to.”

Bright Wing laughed and kicked about in his pampers! “Tat would be so funny!” Then he asked. “But what about ya, Daddy? How ya do with potty training?”

“Well, let’s get you seated on the potty first and then I’ll tell you.” Shining Armor immediately replied.

Bright Wing’s earlier confidence left him as he looked at the crystal toilet and frowned. “But how me get up on the seat? And how me keep from falling in?”

The unicorn with a pristine white coat just smiled and winked, lighting up his horn. “Why, with this of course!” He produced a well worn looking potty seat that had clearly seen better days. The white paint had faded and there were signs of stains here and there. It even looked a bit rusted around the edges. Still, it managed to fit above the normal toilet seat just fine. “This is the same potty seat the Sparkle family’s been using since my dad was your age, and he was the last in his family to be fully trained. Not so easy when you’ve only got one potty to be shared among at least five other foals.”

“No way!” Bright Wing exclaimed as he felt his diaper be removed courtesy of his father’s magic, and then felt himself be floated onto the well worn plastic seat.

Shining nodded his head. “Yup. In fact, it would seem that being a late bloomer when it comes to potty training kind of runs in the family,” A blush formed on his cheeks as he confessed. “Let’s just say I had some… issues when it came to ditching diapers.”

Bright Wing was amazed and eagerly wanted to know more. “Really? Ya not wanna potty train when you a foal?”

“Not exactly,” The stallion continued his confession. “I was born a bit prematurely, which means I came out of my mommy’s tummy sooner than I was supposed to. It’s rare but it does happen. Because of that, I was kind of on the scrawny side. I couldn’t even leave the hospital until I was over a month old, that’s when the doctors were sure I’d survive. And because of that, my mom basically pampered me to the fullest extent possible. She didn’t really rush to do things like wean me off of bottles, let alone potty train me. So I had to kind of learn how to do it myself.”

“So, why ya helping me?” Bright Wing asked his father.

Shining Armor explained. “I just figured a champ in the making like yourself wouldn’t mind a helping hoof from time to time. But take it from somepony like me, you don’t have to be in a rush to grow up. You can take as much time as you need to master things like potty training. If even a pony like me could grow up to be captain of the royal guard despite my issues, then I know for a fact you can do anything you set your mind to. Given enough time and patience, of course. Both of those are things you need for potty training.”

“Wow!” The foal exclaimed! “Me never knew ya used to be like tat, Daddy! Ya so amazing!”

“Not as amazing as you are, Bright Wing,” Shining told his son. “You just went potty in the big potty all by yourself. I figured if I kept you busy with something else, you wouldn’t even notice,” And he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Cadence forgets that I was around for Twily’s potty years, and I still remember a few of my old tricks.”

“So now me just need to wipe and flush, right?” Bright Wing asked as a familiar smell reached his nostrils.

Shining nodded and trotted forward, pulling a few rolls of toilet paper off a nearby rack with his magic and presenting them to his son. “Yup. And then you have to wash your hooves. When you’ve done all of that, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

---

So Bright Wing (with a little help from his father) wiped his rump clean and flushed the toilet, amazed at how quickly it sucked everything down. Then, after being helped down from the seat, he eagerly washed his hooves as he tried to anticipate what his surprise would be.

The stallion smiled as he lit up his horn again. “Ready for your surprise?” He asked his son, who nodded in response. “Okay then. Close your eyes.”

Bright Wing obeyed, keeping his hooves shut tight even though he wanted nothing more than to open them.

“Okay, you can open your eyes again,” Shining said at last. And when his son did so he presented a brightly colored package depicting some sparkling blue colored undergarments. “I present to you, official Crystal Empire brand pull-ups. Don’t worry, they’re not made of actual crystals. They just look like crystals.”

“WOW!” Bright Wing exclaimed at the top of his lungs! “Tank ya, Daddy! Ya the best! Me can’t wait to wear tem and show tem off to Bucket Bridle and Cannon Feather!”

“Not until Cadence gets back,” Shining replied. “I want to make sure she’s okay with it first. Don’t be surprised if we have to prove to her that you’re ready for them. I’m more than happy to help you just like I helped Twily all those years ago.”