Potty Training Tales

by SuperPinkBrony12

How NOT To Be Fancy (Fancy Pants)

Author's Note:

Tags: [Slice of Life] [Comedy]
Characters: [Fancy Pants] [Fleur De Lis] [OC]
Written By: SuperPinkBrony12
Note: This story was Inspired by a comment from Yosh E-O on “A Guide to Surviving Baby Alicorns” written by: Foal Star on Fimfiction.

When Galavant turned two years old he knew there would be changes in his life, his mommy and daddy had been talking about it on and off again for weeks after all. And even though he’d been told it was not polite to eavesdrop he still couldn’t help but do so from his crib whenever he was laid down for a nap or put to bed.

What the colt who sported the same moderate light blue eyes as his father and the same light pinkish-gray with very light white streaks that was done into a style that mixed that of his two parents did not know, however, was that these changes involved how he did his “business” or “royal duties”. To put it simply, his parents had decided Galavant was old enough to undergo potty training. No longer was he to go in his diapers, he was expected to ask either of his parents or one of the nannies or other servants to escort him to the bathroom. There he was to be placed carefully on his potty, a majestic throne of white porcelain. Or if he didn’t think he could make it in time he was to make use of a smaller, portable model that was kept by his bedside for emergencies and night time usage.

But as is often the case for young ones, being told to give up his diapers and instead go in something so big and noisy (not to mention smelly) was a change that Galavant wasn’t entirely onboard with. He knew it was expected of him, it’s what his parents wanted. And to be fair he could manage with that small potty in his bedroom just fine, he loved how colorful it was. It was just the toilet, that throne of porcelain that he didn’t much care for.

For Fancy Pants and Fleur this was a trip down memory lane for the both of them. “Clearly, the apple does not fall far from the tree after all.” Fancy Pants remarked one day to his wife.

Fleur couldn’t help but giggle in spite of herself. “Indeed it does not, darling. I suppose it was inevitable that at least one foal of ours would intimate the father and not the mother when it came to toilet training.”

At that very moment, Galavant came waddling up to his parents. He was still in diapers since his training had only commenced about 2 months prior, and he hadn’t displayed the kind of progress that to his parents would justify graduating him from the undergarments (a quick glance at his potty chart would tell the story better than anyone in the household could, there were just as many storm clouds or frowny faces as there were gold stars). “Mommy? Daddy?” He innocently inquired.

“What is it, Galavant?” Fancy Pants asked. No foul smells greeted his nostrils, so a diaper change was out.

Galavant tried to keep an innocent expression as he questioned. “What you say about I like Daddy over making it to potty?”

The grin on Fleur’s face grew as she floated her son towards her with a glow of her horn. “Oh, so you haven’t heard yet?”

Fancy Pants felt a raging blush start to form on his cheeks, he knew what was coming. “Fleur, do we need to tell him that?”

The mare nodded. “Perhaps it will help to motivate him to make more of an effort not to make messes in his diapers. Your father and I go way back. We were friends since we were your age, even younger,” She giggled as she recalled. “And back then, there was a particularly embarrassing nickname that your father often went by: Fancy Pamps.”

Galavant blinked. “Why do they call him that, Mommy?”

“Because much like you, he didn’t exactly care for using a toilet,” Fleur explained. “And if it wasn’t for me he probably would’ve kept on not using them until he had no choice.” And she began to recall that experience as if it were yesterday.

---

Fancy Pants and Fleur were both two years old, though Fleur was older by a couple of months. Both had entered into potty training the day they’d turned two. It was a tradition in Canterlot, after all. Some families even started their young ones on the process before then just to have a chance to show off to others (and raise their children to do the same).

However, if one were to look closely at them they would see a noticeable difference between the friends. Namely the fact that whereas Fancy Pants still wore diapers (rather thick ones at that), Fleur wore pull-ups. Pull-ups still looked like diapers at first glance, but they had tabs on the side that were easier for a little one to remove and slide down (usually with their teeth, though some talented foals could use their magic if they were a unicorn), not to mention they afforded the user a bit more room to maneuver (once one got used to how they felt anyway, Fleur had learned the hard way that walking around in pull-ups was not the same as walking around in diapers).

Now there was a reason for this, and a reason why Fancy Pants was often jokingly called “Fancy Pamps” by his peers.

Canterlot was a city that was undergoing a revolution in many things and among the more subtle ones was a change in the way one addressed their bodily needs. A generation ago most ponies even in Canterlot still depended on chamber pots to do their business, emptying them out afterward (or having servants or maids do it for them). But now chamber pots were more often be kept for night time usage. And in their place is a wondrous things called toilets.

At first they had came in the form of a small trench with flowing water and pipes, a peddle would be nearby to make everything “disappear” in the form of what was called a flush. But now, they were being replaced by the much preferred throne ones. These ones were shaped like bowls, had seats with lids, and attached to the back of the bowl is a tank with a gleaming, silver colored handle that triggered the flush. For the nobles it was like having their own thrones in a way of speaking.

Fancy Pants, however, didn’t much care for these toilets. “Too noisy. Too smelly.” He complained and avoided using them as much as possible. Chamber pots were far more discreet to him, and since a servant or maid would empty out his chamber pot somewhere it was less effort on his part than having to struggle onto the seat of a toilet, clean himself, and flush it all away.

The problem with that was that now one could not hope to graduate from potty training if they depended solely on chamber pots. Some mastery of toilets was expected. Fancy Pants was incredibly hesitant towards them (and very good at finding ways around having to use them) he unfortunately remained in diapers even though pretty much all of his peers had already left them behind. This led to the taunting nickname of “Fancy Pamps”, sometimes even having ponies go so far as to give the colt unrequested diaper checks in front of everyone. And if he was found to have suffered an accident there would be all sorts of taunts and jeers until inevitably a grown-up would come around to get him changed.

Fleur was not one of those ponies, though even she couldn’t help but grow frustrated with her best friend’s unprecedented and frivolous avoidance of toilets. “He’s not scared of them like so many other ponies his age are or were,” She thought to herself. “And they’re not as smelly as dirty diapers or a used chamber pot. The ones in other ponies homes are actually really well kept, most of the time. It’s only those public ones that I ever hear anypony talk badly about.” And the foal could understand why, the public toilets were not always reliable.

Even so, that could only go so far to justify Fancy Pants not using toilets at all. So one day Fleur decided then and there that she would train her friend to use a toilet, even if she had to do it herself. She knew how toilets worked, she was pretty smart for her age (and quite forceful as her peers could vouch). And if she could do it without a fuss then she didn’t see any reason at all why anypony else would be any different.

Whether he knew it or not, Fancy Pants was about to be entered into what could best be described as a sort of potty training boot camp, with an unlikely pony as his drill instructor.

---

Perhaps fittingly enough, it came on the day that marked the half year anniversary of both Fancy Pants and Fleur entering into potty training. To celebrate such a momentous occasion, Fleur and her parents agreed to host Fancy Pants and his family at their house. The De Lis’ were more than delighted to have their neighbors from down the street over, even if this little party would only be a private affair between the two families.
It wasn’t long after Fancy Pants’ arrival that he was placed into a playpen with Fleur, and the grown-ups left to discuss important grown-up stuff (though not without instructing a maid to check up on the little ones every now and again). So the two foals were quickly left to their own devices.

A short time later, while in the middle of stacking some blocks into a tower, Fancy Pants felt a faint but familiar twinge in his bladder. By now he was well versed in such signals, so he knew what his body was trying to tell him.

Fleur could see it too, Fancy Pants’ little potty dance was pretty hard to ignore. “Do you need to go potty, Fancy Pamps?” She asked him in a faint, teasing tone.

Fancy Pants groaned. “Name’s not Fancy Pamps, It’s Fancy Pants! And yeah, I got to go pee-pee! I need my chamber pot.”

But Fleur shook her head. “Your not going to use a chamber pot. You going to use the toilet, like big ponies do.”

The little colt groaned further as he whimpered. “But I don’t want to use it, my chamber pot work just fine!”

Fleur refused to take no for an answer as she grabbed her friend by the hoof. “The toilet work just fine too,” And then she added. “You don’t want to be called Fancy Pamps forever, do you?”

“Well, no, but…” Fancy Pants began.

Fleur cut him off. “So then you need to do it like the big ponies do it! Come on, I take you to it.” Using her magic, she was able to lift herself and her friend out of the playpen and deposit them both on the floor. As luck would have it, the bathroom was just across the hall from their current location.

Fleur led Fancy Pants along, who was trying to break his friend’s strong grip. For a unicorn Fleur had very strong hooves.

Soon the two unicorns entered the bathroom, and both were soon staring down at the toilet. To most foals its size would’ve been intimidating, but for them the size was of no concern.

“Okay, first you need to take off your diaper,” Fleur declared, sounding like a teacher in school. “You can’t pull it down like I can do with my pull-ups.” She waddled over to help her friend, sensing that he might have trouble.

Fancy Pants groaned as his diaper was stripped off and he was helped onto the toilet seat. He really felt small sitting on it, his legs dangling over the edge while his rump hovered over the bowl. He looked at his friend with a glare. He probably didn’t have anything to worry about, but considering what his other friends liked to do he didn’t want to take any chances.

“Relax,” Fleur said. “Now just, do whatever you have to. And don’t move around too much, the seat is slippery.”

Fancy Pants reluctantly obeyed even though the toilet seat felt incredibly cold to his bare bottom. He found it surprisingly easy to pee into a toilet, it was not unlike peeing into a chamber pot except his tinkling didn’t seem to echo as much as it used to.

He blushed when it was all said and done, he usually just used his chamber pot by himself and then called out for somepony afterward. Going potty in front of another pony (even if Fleur had been nice enough to turn her head to give him the illusion of privacy) was definitely different. He felt glad it had only been number one and not number two.

“See? That was easy, wasn’t it?” Fleur remarked as she turned her head back around. “Now you got to do that everytime you think you need to go,” Then she remembered. “Oh, and make sure to use some toilet paper to wipe yourself up. After that, you put the used amount into the toilet.”

“And I pull down that handle to flush?” Fancy Pants asked, pointing a hoof at the handle. Fleur nodded and he went over to it and pulled it down with all his might.

To both Fancy and Fleur, the flush was very, very loud. Still, Fancy Pants watched as the water started to spin around and around, taking his waste and the toilet paper with it. It went faster and faster, forming a dizzying whirlpool! Then all of the water went down a hole at the bottom of the bowl and began to fill back up with crystal clear water.

“Okay, so now you going to use it instead of your chamber pot, right?” Fleur inquired of her friend in a particularly pouty tone.

Fancy Pants nodded as he hopped down from the toilet to retrieve his diaper. “Uh-huh. And thank you for teaching me, Fleur.”

---

Now the sound of the toilet flushing had caught the attention of one of the maids who was surprised to see the heir to the family fortune and her friend exit the bathroom. “Is everything alright, little ones?” She asked them.

Fleur nodded and declared. “Uh-huh, everything went great. I taught Fancy Pants to use the toilet like big ponies do. He not going to be called Fancy Pamps anymore.”

The maid adopted a goofy smile as she spoke with exaggerated praise (and gave Fancy Pants a pat on the head) “Oh, that’s quite an accomplishment. Though you really shouldn’t be doing things like that on your own. That’s why you have the likes of me to watch over you, and I’m sure little Fancy Pants here has the same at his place.”

“I’m just trying to be like Mommy and Daddy,” Fleur declared again. “They always try to help everypony be better.”

“It’s nice that you want to help your friend, Fleur. But the bathroom is not a place for little ones to be in without a grown-up, especially when the toilet is involved,” The maid lectured. “Still, Fancy Pants making good on his toilet training and showing progress is something to be celebrated and rewarded. His parents will have to be informed of it.”

Fancy Pants just blushed. “I gonna get out of diapers?”

“It’s not my place to say, that’s for your parents to decide,” The maid advised as she trotted away. “Speaking of which, I don’t think they’d be particularly happy to see you out of your playpen. So if I were you, I’d get back to the playpen with Fleur on the double.” She gave the last part of the line with a knowing wink.

---

“That was the end of anypony calling your father Fancy Pamps, Galavant,” Fleur concluded her tale to her son. “Thanks to me he was able to master toilet usage in the blink of an eye, and nopony ever again gave him a hard time. We were both fully out of diapers by the time we were, and we had graduated from pull-ups by the time we both enrolled in magic kindergarten.”

Galavant's little eyes lit up with amazement. “Wow! Daddy used to be like that? That’s silly!”

Fancy Pants’ blush grew so bright and so big that it now consumed his whole face. “Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that I was a sort of unofficial potty rebel back in my foalhood. And it was your mother who basically put me on the right track when it came to proper potty usage,” He struggled to regain his composure. “So I hope that you’ve learned from this story and are further committed to getting the hang of your toilet training.”

“Uh-huh,” Galavant nodded and was set back down. “I won’t be like you, Fancy Pamps.” And he darted away.

Fleur laughed too, but Fancy Pants just sighed. “Fleur De Lis, darling. I swear, you can make it so hard to love you sometimes. I would’ve thought you’d take that embarrassing story to the grave.” He thought to himself.

Galavant could soon be seen making a beeline for the bathroom as he shouted. “Gotta go potty!” Both his parents knew what that meant, just like them, he was being trained with a toilet which meant that he needed help getting onto the seat.

Fleur was about to head to the bathroom, when Fancy Pants put a hoof in front of her. “I believe it is my turn to be on bathroom duty, Fleur. Hopefully it shan’t be more than a few minutes.”

“Whatever you say, darling,” Fleur taunted with a grin. “Although I am sorely tempted to make you Fancy Pamps again just so our son has a role model to emulate.”

“Let’s not give him anymore ideas, Fleur. I have no desire to become the laughing stock of the town again,” Fancy Pants remarked as he trotted off. “Keep this up and you’ll be sleeping on the couch every night until Galavant is out of his pampers.”

Fleur reluctantly consented. “Oh, you’re no fun sometimes.” She playfully remarked to her husband as she watched him trot into the bathroom. Truth be told the childhood experience of knowing him as “Fancy Pamps” was part of what had drawn her to him and why she had originally become romantically involved with him while serving as his bodyguard. She felt almost like the big sister he never had, always looking out for him and trying to help him.

At times she could forget that her husband had come a long way from that little colt she’d helped toilet train as a filly.

Comments

[Yosh-E-O]

D'aww. That is a great name for the foal of Fancy Pam...err...Pants' and Fleur De Lis' son. gallavant sounds both noble and proper.

I like how the tale keeps Fleur in the driver's seat of Fancy Pants' development. You can definitely believe such a friendship could grow into a relationship that would make the pair proud parents themselves. It's actually quite romantic as Fleur has looked out for Fancy and, no doubt, he's tried to do the same.

<LoL!> I am certain gallavant will not want to be known in the same way his father was. I can hear the youngster saying little reinforcement lines to himself on how he's not going to be like 'Fancy Pamps' and making it quite an audible declaration. Kids have a way of holding on to what gets their parents to blush.

Very nicely done. If time allows, I'm hoping to start on Gabby today. Woop!

[Foal Star]

This was so cute