Backflipping through reality at ludicrous speeds. What does RB stand for, anyway? | Ko-Fi
The crime? Murder.
The victim? Prince Blueblood.
The culprit?
Well, that one's Rarity's job.
Take heed! There be spoilers in the comments!
An ex-entry into Aragon's Comedy is Serious Business contest which sadly grew too far beyond the word limit to submit. Be sure to check out the actual entries here!
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........ this was so anti-climatic yet it was so likely to happen.
This is a great opening to a story. I'm definitely interested to see where this mystery goes
Clue, but with ponies...I loved it.
Great story! Very Clue-like which is awesome! You had me curious to know what all the little pieces were and what each pony’s part was. Really well done!
Again, this was enjoyable! I especially liked the interviews with the Major and with Dela - rather gave me a very classic detective, Agatha Christie feel. And the ending of the chapter was hysterical
And the plot thickens! XD
I'm definitely faving this story, I loved it all the way through!
Naturally, I decide I'm gonna write a pony murder mystery ... only to see somebody else has done it, and probably better, too. Harumph!
In any case, this is a well done story, well in line with the traditional 'cozy' mystery. The narration's a little gag-heavy, especially at the beginning, but it doesn't detract too much from things. Rarity as a Miss Fischer style detective is something that honestly isn't done often enough. It'd be super fun to see a sequel to this, though I'm not sure what could be added besides more of the same.
Keep up the good work!
And then we got to that later!
Fantastic stuff. I only figured out a few of the potential murders before the big reveal. Thank you for a wonderful read.
(Also, is it really treason when it's against Blueblood?)
Dammit Rainbow...
Also probably a red herring because I doubt the author is going to make the killer that obvious.
Rarity is actually kind of a massive hypocrite in this at best, and a scheming, backstabbing mastermind at worst. I mean, I was buying it right up until that ending reveal that maybe she just has an incredibly, overly strong sense of justice that overshadows even her loyalty to friends like Fancy Pants, or even Applejack (who would likely be quite upset at the prospect of her family being arrested for murder), but that reveal proves that she's no better than the rest of them. The fact that she works so hard to reveal the killer means either she thinks only she is above the law, or it means she saw an opportunity to throw suspicion off of herself and onto friends and associates.
But the fact that she clearly wanted Blueblood dead as much as the rest of them, though, and had the intent to carry out a murder scheme, only to then turn around and even bother to investigate the "death" is beyond the pale. She could have just remained silent and everybody would have been happy with Blueblood's death. Blueblood would have woken up, gotten stunned at the fact everybody trash talked him, and foolishly stumbled to his death on his own, and nobody would have to be imprisoned (perhaps even strung up?) for conspiracy and treason. Instead, she decided to meddle, even though she was just as guilty. That either stinks of hypocrisy or downright villainy.
This was hilarious
Awesome story! I've head this on my favorites for awhile now and finally got around to reading it. I knew it would be good just from the summary. Rarity would be proud. 5 stars man, I love this.
This was fantastic, I like to imagine they all get out of it somehow.
This may be my favorite bit right here. I dunno why a word in several sentences in a row is funny, but it certainly is.
This was a goddamn work of art
Genius.
Amazing!
I see somebody's played how to Host a murderer...
That’s telling, when death is more interesting than Blueballs’ monologue
I know that all too well. My grandma died, apparently in her sleep, and I wondered “how?”
Ding-Dong, the Bitch is dead! Which old bitch? The bastard bitch!
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Pretty sure she wasn't going to kill him, just had a weapon in case he did something spectacularly awful. Or in case of detective shenanigans.
Um, from the little I've read about it, I think that conspiracy to murder requires multiple people to be acting together willingly with the intent to commit murder. The same for conspiracy against the crown, or any criminal conspiracy for that matter. However, as Rarity so well demonstrated, every one of them was acting on their own, save for Fancy and Valencia, and as that wasn't a willing partnership it wouldn't count either. Really, as far as I can see, the only crime committed was the blackmail and since, from her general demeanour and distaste for Blueblood, I doubt Valencia would be pressing charges, I don't know that any of the charges will stick.
Anyway, mostly a very well put together mystery. The only real problem I saw was that the reveal about Mr Orange's cologne came a little out of nowhere - it's possible that there was a line about his cologne or how he smelled that I missed, so It's perfectly possible that this is a problem with me rather than the story, but if not, then it's a little head-tilting. Particularly since the line about the smell being what ponies think oranges smell like, even though they actually don't, suggests that it wouldn't be his or his wife's scent. After all, he may be a doofus, but he should definitely know what his own fruit smells like. Still, since his involvement was mostly a joke, I can let that slide.
But, other than that, it all worked quite well. I did think it very likely that Blueblood was faking his death due to his choice of guests - why would he invite Rarity and the Major to a gathering of "personal friends" when they had, at most, a professional relationship with him and both had major reason to hold a grudge against him. But I admit, the reasons I thought he did it were a lot more nefarious... and a lot less in-character than his actual reasons.
Huh. So, turns out that writing a review of a mystery is kind of impossible without going into necessary details that require spoilers. Well, short version: enjoyed immensely, bravo.
She's more a cannon, but...
That's how you get parasites, Dashie.
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Like Celestia's own on national sponge cake day.
Hee! I finally got around to reading this, and I'm very glad I did! Lots of fun and I do love me a dramatic mystery.
I noticed all of the lens and the frazzled cord and the "newer" monocle individually, but I didn't put them together. And I noticed how the pufferfish demonstration was at the same time as Mrs Orange's toilet trip but somehow didn't put the rest of the pieces together. I was barking up completely the wrong tree with the "pegasus sword".
I did think it was a bit weird for everyone to think it super incriminating that an invoice from Mr Orange smells of Mr Orange's cologne. That seems pretty natural to me: he obviously had to handle the paper to post it... It doesn't seem to imply they're having an affair.
Nevertheless, this was a delightful mystery with quirky comic elements. Very enjoyable - thank you!
welp, this is just sad. He dies by realizing everypony hates him and wants him to die
that is a worse way to die
As others have already mentioned, this is a solid opening.
However;
This is throwing me for a loop here. Why does the narrator keep referring to him as "Major"? Is it supposed to be a part of his name, like in Catch-22, or is it referring to his rank? (I'm assuming the latter, but shouldn't it then be Captain? If the former, why is it the Major?) Also, is the rank Captain above Major in Equestria, or did he somehow get demoted? The inconsistent capitalization doesn't help much either.
Oh, so he was demoted. Kudos, that's good plot development.
I see that inconsistent capitalization is still present, though:
The mental image of a bunch of oranges sending out paperwork just makes me smile. Next, you're gonna tell me coconuts built Blueblood's mansion, or that pears tend to his garden. Which would have been befitting, considering the stallion was absolutely bananas.
(There is also one uncapitalized "major" somewhere)
I'm sorry for bringing this up, but it does stick out, particularly in a story of this caliber. But on a lighter note:
I rate this conversation four-and-a-half out of five chuckles. Well done.
This was amazingly well put together. Almost Asimovesque. I love that the little things like Mr. Orange reading Romeoat and Juniper are called back in the culmination. It rewards the reader for paying attention and keeping tabs on what's happened.
Thank you for writing this.
woah... that makes a lot of sense
How does one even go about assembling a story like this. It's so intricate, so much continuity
Rainbow knowing about swords is perfectly in character. And Rainbow having a craving for escargots is hilarious!
Hah! This was an excellent pony pastiche of a proper murder mystery. (I was rooting for the butler to be the murderer!)
Hi I'm not native ,could anypony tell me the exact meaning of "dunce"？I cann't find answers in dictionory.
The whole story is wonderful! May I translate these detective stories and your future ones into Chinese ?The original author‘s ID will be marked,and it's absolutely non-profitable.The website is Fimtale.com
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Sure, go right ahead! I don’t mind as long as you include a link to the original.
Oh, and ‘dunce’ is another word for ‘idiot’.
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Thank you ！